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Domless sub.

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By *llie Rose OP   Woman
over a year ago

By the seaside

In the past I have had a truly wonderful dom. He not only took a shy 17 year old girl and helped turn her into the confident woman I am today but also introduced me to the world's of swinging and fetish.

Since then I have had 2 further dom's neither of whom really understood the true nature of what a dom is, resulting in me walking away from both.

I'm of the view that no dom is better than a bad dom. However that does leave a huge part of who I am being suppressed and unsatisfied.

So my question is (and I recognise this is mainly aimed at other subs) would you opt for no dom over a poor one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No dom, over a poor one, every time. (Same as sex, Id rather go without sex than have bad sex)

Trust is the thing within bdsm and whilst it is so incredibly frustrating, it just isn't worth the risk of a bad dom and potential experiences.

Good luck with your search though

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By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham

Of course I would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No dom over a dim dom. I had an appalling dom a while ago, then a good dom, I now have a great dom.

I know lots of friends would tell me if they thought I had a bad dom.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"No dom, over a poor one, every time. (Same as sex, Id rather go without sex than have bad sex)

Trust is the thing within bdsm and whilst it is so incredibly frustrating, it just isn't worth the risk of a bad dom and potential experiences.

Good luck with your search though "

This!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Subs that top from the bottom are also unsatisfying.

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Domless at the moment but very specific in what I seek in a Dom. Knowing what you DO want is better than wandering aimlessly in the dark

Sometimes it isn't a case of having a 'bad' Dom they just don't suit your needs and wants so it is a mis match...

Searching for the 'right' Dom can be fun though....

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By *nkySwitchTV/TS
over a year ago

Stirling

I can fully relate to your post & definately the choice would be no Dom/Domme each and every time.

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No dom over a dim dom. I had an appalling dom a while ago, then a good dom, I now have a great dom.

I know lots of friends would tell me if they thought I had a bad dom."

Brilliant! A dim dom!

No dom rather than a dim dom for me too. When my current 'thing' ends I shall turn vanilla and take to knitting. But until then I am going to make the most of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The last four years or so I have had a master. But the last couple of years we've seen less and less of each other. Eventually I decided I would rather have no Dom in my life than feel like i've been failing him somehow (hence the reason for him not bothering with me) so I called it quits. He of course is more than happy to walk away rather than rock the boat so now i'm adjusting to life without my sub side being explored.

I'd rather have no dom than a bad dom.

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By *aster of a mindCouple
over a year ago

York

I fully agree (male & Dom) that no Dom is better than a bad Dom!

However, I also agree with the earlier comment that a 'Bad Dom' may just be a mis-match, as i believe you can get 'bad subs'too.

My wife and I are in a D/s relationship.....not 24 hour. We have a contract drawn up which we have both agreed to. This involves limits, expectations,agreed boundries and other basic and specific rules. This 'contract' is reviewed every so often to ensure we are both getting want we want from our D/s relationship.

The ting is, you are not going to know what a Dom is like until you allow him to Dom you. I read a brilliant quote the other day about choosing a Dom....it said, " would i be happy, to be totally naked, alone, tied up and with nobody else around with this person? If not, they are not right for you, so don't do it"

Good luck

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By *llie Rose OP   Woman
over a year ago

By the seaside

I totally agree that the relationship working is down to both parties. Unfortunately one of my poorer doms thought that all being a dom entailed was being called master and throwing his weight around. That was down to his lack of experience and understanding.

I think a better public awareness of the scene means more people trying the lifestyle without understanding all it entails. Many still think pain when you say BDSM.

I'm not actively seeking a new dom. If I stumble across one that I think will work for me well that will just be a bonus.

Just started this thread to see what other's views are and open up a discussion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather have no dominant than a bad one. I am quite happy to tell a guy if he is not doing as he should.

I will not allow myself to top from the bottom though. Sometimes that is harder than it seems.

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By *aster of a mindCouple
over a year ago

York

I agree Elli, I have seen a lot of 'Dom's' simply flogging away at a sub and being heavy handed. I must say that I have seen this a lot more with 'Dommes' though. Females seem to think they have the right to try and Domme any sub they feel fit. My slave has no wish to be Dom'd by any female. generally men will ask but fem's tend to think they have a right

i thin that toping from the bottom may work for some, if it's agreed before the scene. However, our thing is to stay in role as Dom/sub. Although i do love to be flogged

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