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Lost 2 potential meets due to finding out they bareback

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've been chatting to 2 guys on here whom I've been very interested in meeting up with.

But, in the last 2 days they've both uploaded pics clearly showing themselves barebacking with recent meets.

Perhaps I should have posed the question to them at the beginning, and I will be doing this from now on, but I'm so sad. I was really interested in them but I just can't bring myself to meet with people who bareback with swingers/strangers (I appreciate couples/people in relationships will bareback with each other)

So, after weeks of effort, I'm back to the drawing board.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Better luck next time.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Did they say they'd refuse to wear a condom with you then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But if they use a condom with you, then why is it an issue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet safe sex was on their list of interests!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you knw they were not with long term partners?

In my pics I've got those type of pictures doesn't mean I bareback

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

No matter how safe I play myself, I will avoid those that openly play BB....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"But if they use a condom with you, then why is it an issue?"

I'm not prepared to take the risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can never understand this (not having a go just it seems strange to me). So long as they use condoms with you, does it matter what they do with others?

If you meet someone at a club, do you ask them their life history?

Of do you just make sure you use condoms?

It like people who say we would never play with a married man singly, If you go to clubs, are you really sure they are single?

You have to do what you think best, but IHMO so long as you use condoms then whats the problem?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you use something i cant see why it would be a bad thing if you like them...maybe they have reg meets and trust that person both checked or something

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How do you knw they were not with long term partners?

In my pics I've got those type of pictures doesn't mean I bareback "

Because when I saw the uploaded pics on my 'updates' feed I messaged them and asked them and they both confirmed they'd barebacked with recent meets and these were the resulting pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But as long as they wear a condom with you then it's ok.. It's only not ok if they said they NEVER bareback and now there is pics to show different..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been chatting to 2 guys on here whom I've been very interested in meeting up with.

But, in the last 2 days they've both uploaded pics clearly showing themselves barebacking with recent meets.

Perhaps I should have posed the question to them at the beginning, and I will be doing this from now on, but I'm so sad. I was really interested in them but I just can't bring myself to meet with people who bareback with swingers/strangers (I appreciate couples/people in relationships will bareback with each other)

So, after weeks of effort, I'm back to the drawing board. "

Surely that should be a sigh of relief rather than a sad face, ok you missed out on a meet but there will be ones.

Imagine how you would have felt fibding out on the night

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

I must admit its put me off when I've seen pics of people bareback with different partners, however, the reality is, if they hadn't shown those pics you'd be non the wiser.

I suppose it just goes back to the old adage that you treat every meet as though they've only ever bare backed.

Good luck with your search.

D.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you believe, if you have not seen a photo to the contrary, that if a guy says safe sex only then he really has kept to that with all his sexual partners. Even though the guy is on a swingers site?

You must forgive me saying that is naive beyond belief!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you knw they were not with long term partners?

In my pics I've got those type of pictures doesn't mean I bareback

Because when I saw the uploaded pics on my 'updates' feed I messaged them and asked them and they both confirmed they'd barebacked with recent meets and these were the resulting pics. "

Got you now, don't blame you for pulling out they should be honest on their profiles if that's what they are in to

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"I've been chatting to 2 guys on here whom I've been very interested in meeting up with.

But, in the last 2 days they've both uploaded pics clearly showing themselves barebacking with recent meets.

Perhaps I should have posed the question to them at the beginning, and I will be doing this from now on, but I'm so sad. I was really interested in them but I just can't bring myself to meet with people who bareback with swingers/strangers (I appreciate couples/people in relationships will bareback with each other)

So, after weeks of effort, I'm back to the drawing board. "

as much as i feel for you... in the end I think you have to go in with the mindset that everyone at some point has played bareback.... and that in the end the only person who can look out for your health is you....

you can protect yourself in the best way you can, I would never rely on what someone else says or does to do that.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So you believe, if you have not seen a photo to the contrary, that if a guy says safe sex only then he really has kept to that with all his sexual partners. Even though the guy is on a swingers site?

You must forgive me saying that is naive beyond belief!"

That's not what I'm saying at all. I would prefer people to be more open about the fact that they do bareback with strangers.

I've seen profiles saying they won't bareback and profiles saying that they do - makes things much easier for process of elimination.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto


"How do you knw they were not with long term partners?

In my pics I've got those type of pictures doesn't mean I bareback

Because when I saw the uploaded pics on my 'updates' feed I messaged them and asked them and they both confirmed they'd barebacked with recent meets and these were the resulting pics. "

Well if you had indicated earlier on that you wouldn't meet them if they had played bareback with other meets, they could simply not have uploaded the offending pics, and you'd be non the wiser.

See how flimsy an assumption that would be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good for u tho for sticking to yr guns. If safe sex is a must for u then thats yr preference.

Shame u didnt get 2 meets tho, but u will get others.

Maybe next tym if sumone is interested in a meet say it first that u only play it safe.

Good luck

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire


"So you believe, if you have not seen a photo to the contrary, that if a guy says safe sex only then he really has kept to that with all his sexual partners. Even though the guy is on a swingers site?

You must forgive me saying that is naive beyond belief!"

I don't believe a single person on this site has never barebacked with anyone, don't believe it

As with that you have to assume anyone you meet on here has a bareback history, whether that's with a wife or multiple swingers, you can only protect yourself and not assume anything, making assumptions based on photos on here is a recipe for disaster

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm quite shocked at some of the responses questioning why I would want to ensure my safety.

Yes, condoms are great, they are helpful, and no I don't think that everyone has had safe sex all of the time - I certainly haven't with previous partners, but if I know that someone is actively having bareback sex with strangers then it is my choice to choose not to play with them - even using protection.

Even though I play safe, I still get checked at the gum clinic regularly. My personal heath is paramount.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As _abio says, I would think that 99% of the men on here have had risky sex in the recent past. It would be foolish in the extreme to assume otherwise. If you don't believe in the safety of condoms then you are in the wrong place and playing the wrong game. There is no way you can guarantee otherwise!

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

I really dont think anyone here is stupid enough to believe that a potential partner has never gone BB....

But for said potential meet to upload pics with them going BB??

I would avoid them....

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"I'm quite shocked at some of the responses questioning why I would want to ensure my safety.

Yes, condoms are great, they are helpful, and no I don't think that everyone has had safe sex all of the time - I certainly haven't with previous partners, but if I know that someone is actively having bareback sex with strangers then it is my choice to choose not to play with them - even using protection.

Even though I play safe, I still get checked at the gum clinic regularly. My personal heath is paramount.

"

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"I'm quite shocked at some of the responses questioning why I would want to ensure my safety.

Yes, condoms are great, they are helpful, and no I don't think that everyone has had safe sex all of the time - I certainly haven't with previous partners, but if I know that someone is actively having bareback sex with strangers then it is my choice to choose not to play with them - even using protection.

Even though I play safe, I still get checked at the gum clinic regularly. My personal heath is paramount.

"

I definitely agree that the choice to play with them is yours alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As spangle42 says, make it clear up front that you only ever play safe and want their assurance that at least recently they have done the same. At the same time bear in mind that HIV can take years to show up.

I'm sure that they will be pleased to reassure you and all will be fine.

NOT.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto


"I'm quite shocked at some of the responses questioning why I would want to ensure my safety.

Yes, condoms are great, they are helpful, and no I don't think that everyone has had safe sex all of the time - I certainly haven't with previous partners, but if I know that someone is actively having bareback sex with strangers then it is my choice to choose not to play with them - even using protection.

Even though I play safe, I still get checked at the gum clinic regularly. My personal heath is paramount.

"

I'm not questioning your decision, which in itself is admirable. I'm questioning your assumption that anything would have been different had you not found out.

If the guys hadn't uploaded the pics, and not said anything, you wouldn't have known. You'd have met one, maybe both of them, used a condom, had sex and embraced all associated risks that come with that. And you still wouldn't have known.

And yet, they would still be the same two guys, minus your knowledge of their past sexual history.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"

I'm not questioning your decision, which in itself is admirable. I'm questioning your assumption that anything would have been different had you not found out.

If the guys hadn't uploaded the pics, and not said anything, you wouldn't have known. You'd have met one, maybe both of them, used a condom, had sex and embraced all associated risks that come with that. And you still wouldn't have known.

And yet, they would still be the same two guys, minus your knowledge of their past sexual history."

Ignorance really IS bliss.....

KNOWING makes all the difference...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm quite shocked at some of the responses questioning why I would want to ensure my safety.

Yes, condoms are great, they are helpful, and no I don't think that everyone has had safe sex all of the time - I certainly haven't with previous partners, but if I know that someone is actively having bareback sex with strangers then it is my choice to choose not to play with them - even using protection.

Even though I play safe, I still get checked at the gum clinic regularly. My personal heath is paramount.

I'm not questioning your decision, which in itself is admirable. I'm questioning your assumption that anything would have been different had you not found out.

If the guys hadn't uploaded the pics, and not said anything, you wouldn't have known. You'd have met one, maybe both of them, used a condom, had sex and embraced all associated risks that come with that. And you still wouldn't have known.

And yet, they would still be the same two guys, minus your knowledge of their past sexual history."

No, the outcome of this is that I have learnt a lesson.

I will now always ask first (yes, before anyone says it - they can still lie) but its something I haven't been doing but will do from now on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm quite shocked at some of the responses questioning why I would want to ensure my safety.

Yes, condoms are great, they are helpful, and no I don't think that everyone has had safe sex all of the time - I certainly haven't with previous partners, but if I know that someone is actively having bareback sex with strangers then it is my choice to choose not to play with them - even using protection.

Even though I play safe, I still get checked at the gum clinic regularly. My personal heath is paramount.

"

I've cancelled a meet before now as the young man kept going on and on about bareback sex. He even came out with that old line 'Oh I wouldn't have bare back sex with anyone else' Ie right Good for you for sticking to your principles and better luck next time

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto


"

No, the outcome of this is that I have learnt a lesson.

I will now always ask first (yes, before anyone says it - they can still lie) but its something I haven't been doing but will do from now on.

"

Best of luck. While i don't think asking if they have previously barebacked will make much difference (a lot of men, women and couples on this site will say the right things to get what they want), if it puts your mind at ease concerning a potential meet, then that is what is most important.

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By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks


"So you believe, if you have not seen a photo to the contrary, that if a guy says safe sex only then he really has kept to that with all his sexual partners. Even though the guy is on a swingers site?

You must forgive me saying that is naive beyond belief!

That's not what I'm saying at all. I would prefer people to be more open about the fact that they do bareback with strangers.

I've seen profiles saying they won't bareback and profiles saying that they do - makes things much easier for process of elimination.

"
If its any consulation I think you did right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One sure outcome of this thread has been to ensure that more people on this site will hide the truth of what they do in order to get what they want.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We assume all people play BB and protect ourselves....but if we saw obvious BB pics and they had admitted to it when asked we would have been put off enough not to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can never understand this (not having a go just it seems strange to me). So long as they use condoms with you, does it matter what they do with others?

If you meet someone at a club, do you ask them their life history?

Of do you just make sure you use condoms?

It like people who say we would never play with a married man singly, If you go to clubs, are you really sure they are single?

You have to do what you think best, but IHMO so long as you use condoms then whats the problem?"

not everyone goes to clubs for starters..

condoms arent 100% so having it laid open for you to see how risky they play its a turn off.. simple really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well are you sure the pics are from meets? I have pics but from my regular partner. I use protection on meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

me and my fuck buddy do bb but when we meet others is comdon time all the way....just cos our pics show us playing together with out does not mean we dont protect when we play...also we clearly state it on both our profiles that we promote safe sex when we meet others.....

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"One sure outcome of this thread has been to ensure that more people on this site will hide the truth of what they do in order to get what they want.

"

bingo...

which is why the motto in swinging could almost be D.T.A

Don't Trust Anyone.......

as Blackshadow said, I don't think anyone is questioning the decision at all...

what I think what people are saying that up to a point we are all responsible for our own sexual health.... and if someone showed me a certificate to say they had no sexual infections in the past, I would still not believe them and put my health in the hands of someone else

so the only person I trust with my sexual health is me... and the only person who can keep up that good sexual health history is also me...

thats means, for me, using protection and going to the GUM clinic .... that wouldn't change whoever I was playing with...

a healthy dose of scepticism and realism over nieveity any day of the week....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So you believe, if you have not seen a photo to the contrary, that if a guy says safe sex only then he really has kept to that with all his sexual partners. Even though the guy is on a swingers site?

You must forgive me saying that is naive beyond belief!"

Indeed!!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"But if they use a condom with you, then why is it an issue?"

I always assume everyone I meet has engaged in bareback gangbangs and seek to minimise any risk to myself as best I can, short of wearing a full haz mat suit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So you believe, if you have not seen a photo to the contrary, that if a guy says safe sex only then he really has kept to that with all his sexual partners. Even though the guy is on a swingers site?

You must forgive me saying that is naive beyond belief!

Indeed!!"

I would also say the same of single women, couples - whoever.

Its not just guys. Its ANYONE. The only person you know the history of 100% is yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm quite shocked at some of the responses questioning why I would want to ensure my safety.

Yes, condoms are great, they are helpful, and no I don't think that everyone has had safe sex all of the time - I certainly haven't with previous partners, but if I know that someone is actively having bareback sex with strangers then it is my choice to choose not to play with them - even using protection.

Even though I play safe, I still get checked at the gum clinic regularly. My personal heath is paramount.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So you believe, if you have not seen a photo to the contrary, that if a guy says safe sex only then he really has kept to that with all his sexual partners. Even though the guy is on a swingers site?

You must forgive me saying that is naive beyond belief!

Indeed!!

I would also say the same of single women, couples - whoever.

Its not just guys. Its ANYONE. The only person you know the history of 100% is yourself. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So you believe, if you have not seen a photo to the contrary, that if a guy says safe sex only then he really has kept to that with all his sexual partners. Even though the guy is on a swingers site?

You must forgive me saying that is naive beyond belief!

Indeed!!

I would also say the same of single women, couples - whoever.

Its not just guys. Its ANYONE. The only person you know the history of 100% is yourself. "

Exactly. The only person I trust is me.

I'm not against the OP, I think she's right in not meeting them. I just don't see the point in asking future meets if they bareback. Trust no-one.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Dear OP

I get what you are saying.

I doubt you are naïve enough to assume because you haven't seen someone bareback it must mean they never would or have.... and thus they must be safe.

I have felt the same as you.... on more than one occasion.

As the saying goes... ignorance is bliss. But once the cat is out of the bag and the bareback photos are staring you in the face... there is no going back and pretending you don't know.

I really don't care how hot and fit and charming a guy is, if he has bareback photos or has played with someone who openly states they are a sperm receptor, I wouldn't touch them.

I take responsibility for my own health and have my own rules... one of which is to do what I feel happy doing. I don't feel happy fucking someone I KNOW is happy to throw caution to the wind for the sake of a shag.

If anyone thinks I am foolish for feeling this way they can go fuck themselves.... because I'm not changing my mind to keep some other fucker happy.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"So you believe, if you have not seen a photo to the contrary, that if a guy says safe sex only then he really has kept to that with all his sexual partners. Even though the guy is on a swingers site?

You must forgive me saying that is naive beyond belief!"

Scary more than naive I thought.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Dear OP

I get what you are saying.

I doubt you are naïve enough to assume because you haven't seen someone bareback it must mean they never would or have.... and thus they must be safe.

I have felt the same as you.... on more than one occasion.

As the saying goes... ignorance is bliss. But once the cat is out of the bag and the bareback photos are staring you in the face... there is no going back and pretending you don't know.

I really don't care how hot and fit and charming a guy is, if he has bareback photos or has played with someone who openly states they are a sperm receptor, I wouldn't touch them.

I take responsibility for my own health and have my own rules... one of which is to do what I feel happy doing. I don't feel happy fucking someone I KNOW is happy to throw caution to the wind for the sake of a shag.

If anyone thinks I am foolish for feeling this way they can go fuck themselves.... because I'm not changing my mind to keep some other fucker happy."

Well said that woman!

We all have to go with the things we feel safest and most comfortable with.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"Dear OP

I get what you are saying.

I doubt you are naïve enough to assume because you haven't seen someone bareback it must mean they never would or have.... and thus they must be safe.

I have felt the same as you.... on more than one occasion.

As the saying goes... ignorance is bliss. But once the cat is out of the bag and the bareback photos are staring you in the face... there is no going back and pretending you don't know.

I really don't care how hot and fit and charming a guy is, if he has bareback photos or has played with someone who openly states they are a sperm receptor, I wouldn't touch them.

I take responsibility for my own health and have my own rules... one of which is to do what I feel happy doing. I don't feel happy fucking someone I KNOW is happy to throw caution to the wind for the sake of a shag.

If anyone thinks I am foolish for feeling this way they can go fuck themselves.... because I'm not changing my mind to keep some other fucker happy."

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Hey screamingskull: it's your body, you choose who puts something in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you bothered ! If you play safe wich makes sense and they dont you simply dont go there ! There are plenty on here that do go bareback but it's you'r decision at end of day. Playing safe always makes sense though

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"One sure outcome of this thread has been to ensure that more people on this site will hide the truth of what they do in order to get what they want.

"

I fear you're right.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"One sure outcome of this thread has been to ensure that more people on this site will hide the truth of what they do in order to get what they want.

bingo...

which is why the motto in swinging could almost be D.T.A

Don't Trust Anyone.......

as Blackshadow said, I don't think anyone is questioning the decision at all...

what I think what people are saying that up to a point we are all responsible for our own sexual health.... and if someone showed me a certificate to say they had no sexual infections in the past, I would still not believe them and put my health in the hands of someone else

so the only person I trust with my sexual health is me... and the only person who can keep up that good sexual health history is also me...

thats means, for me, using protection and going to the GUM clinic .... that wouldn't change whoever I was playing with...

a healthy dose of scepticism and realism over nieveity any day of the week...."

Exactly this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well well well!!!

I have read some very interesting subjects with these forums but this one has to take the cherry on top.....

The initial thread was commenting on the dishonesty of people using this site as to whether they participated in safe sex "with relative strangers".....

The fact that "everyone" may have participated in un protected sex in their past (which may have been in a serious relationship) has no revel acne at all within this forum post.....

My question to the people that are trying to defend bareback sex due to the use of condoms if you are not willing to participate in bareback is this......

If someone was to highlight on their profile that they had HIV but they would provide condoms at meets....... Would you be so enthusiastic to meet them. I doubt it very much, however if you do not set your standards, investigate into history of possible casual partners, are you not running the same risk without the declaration on their profile!!!!!!

It is everyone's choice as many have said..... And our choice is block everyone on this thread that has even slightly justified bareback.....

Happy swinging x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been chatting to 2 guys on here whom I've been very interested in meeting up with.

But, in the last 2 days they've both uploaded pics clearly showing themselves barebacking with recent meets.

Perhaps I should have posed the question to them at the beginning, and I will be doing this from now on, but I'm so sad. I was really interested in them but I just can't bring myself to meet with people who bareback with swingers/strangers (I appreciate couples/people in relationships will bareback with each other)

So, after weeks of effort, I'm back to the drawing board. "

I have only ever bb with long term partners, you say that you wouldnt take the risk with anyone whom bb's, nothing is every 100% safe after all, but what I will say that as I do not want to put anyone at risk then condoms are always a must!

I do hate those that say, well they look clean etc. No one is ever that sure! It only takes one cock up so to speak and game over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For some reason my comment was deleted...I've no idea why stating the (bloody) obvious fact that STD's can be passed on by a variety of means contravenes the forum rules but there we go!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

You posted a link that wasn't allowed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bless you hun .. with you all the way ..bareback pics make me think twice xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You posted a link that wasn't allowed.

"

What a link to an NHS site about sexual health? Why would that not be allowed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been chatting to 2 guys on here whom I've been very interested in meeting up with.

But, in the last 2 days they've both uploaded pics clearly showing themselves barebacking with recent meets.

Perhaps I should have posed the question to them at the beginning, and I will be doing this from now on, but I'm so sad. I was really interested in them but I just can't bring myself to meet with people who bareback with swingers/strangers (I appreciate couples/people in relationships will bareback with each other)

So, after weeks of effort, I'm back to the drawing board. "

I don't blame you trust is important and its just not worth playing with people who bareback in my book.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"You posted a link that wasn't allowed.

What a link to an NHS site about sexual health? Why would that not be allowed?"

As far as I remember it wasn't an offical NHS site. Post one of those and it will be fine

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Sexually-transmitted-infections/Pages/Introduction.aspx

There you go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even an old mate whos a swinger barebacks but also uses condoms.

So if he was using condoms on his pics would that be ok for you to meet him?

Alot of people lie.

If you want to meet and swing and dont like bareback, make sure you ask them that condoms are a MUST!

Protect yourself and be confortable x

If you want to meet that someone just tell them no condoms no play that way your covered on your meet x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if they use a condom with you, then why is it an issue?

I'm not prepared to take the risk. "

So you actually didn't lose anything, you chose not to go thru with the meets.

That is choice not loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can never understand this (not having a go just it seems strange to me). So long as they use condoms with you, does it matter what they do with others?

If you meet someone at a club, do you ask them their life history?

Of do you just make sure you use condoms?

It like people who say we would never play with a married man singly, If you go to clubs, are you really sure they are single?

You have to do what you think best, but IHMO so long as you use condoms then whats the problem?"

I agree. The OP mentioned they didn't want to take the risk. If you practise safe sex, from what?!

Honestly, if you that worried, maybe you stop sleeping around with multiple people you meet online.

Just a thought...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well.don't do it if you seen on there profile that they. Do bareback then way don't you leave them both be and yes all way play safe but the way you are going on it is if you want to meet up with both of them to see how it goes me I all wayes play safe you don't mo what you can catch on here or any were. At all so if you said no to them then stop complaining and let it die down now

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I can never understand this (not having a go just it seems strange to me). So long as they use condoms with you, does it matter what they do with others?

If you meet someone at a club, do you ask them their life history?

Of do you just make sure you use condoms?

It like people who say we would never play with a married man singly, If you go to clubs, are you really sure they are single?

You have to do what you think best, but IHMO so long as you use condoms then whats the problem?

I agree. The OP mentioned they didn't want to take the risk. If you practise safe sex, from what?!

Honestly, if you that worried, maybe you stop sleeping around with multiple people you meet online.

Just a thought..."

You're really gonna use the term 'sleeping around' on a swingers site?

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By *bbwlizWoman
over a year ago

oldham


"But if they use a condom with you, then why is it an issue?"

Like me, and a lot of my swinging friends feel, if someone goes bb they are more likely to catch a std then people who play safe. Puts me more at risk, and if there was a accident of a condom breaking, I would be running down to the clinic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way some people go on about the risks makes me wonder why they choose to have sex with multiple partners in the first instance, I understand that safety is a priority, but at what point can it be considered obsessive?? Surely the worry takes away the fun of a meeting strangers for sex?!? I'm perplexed

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"The way some people go on about the risks makes me wonder why they choose to have sex with multiple partners in the first instance, I understand that safety is a priority, but at what point can it be considered obsessive?? Surely the worry takes away the fun of a meeting strangers for sex?!? I'm perplexed "

I think that's the point some of us are trying to make. Whilst I do understand where the op is coming from with regards being put off from meeting people: I've declined meeting someone for less, it's the paranoia I don't get.

None of us has to be here! If the thought of catching a std by having sex with multiple sexual partners, total strangers, why they're here Lord knows!

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore...... A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore...... A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The way some people go on about the risks makes me wonder why they choose to have sex with multiple partners in the first instance, I understand that safety is a priority, but at what point can it be considered obsessive?? Surely the worry takes away the fun of a meeting strangers for sex?!? I'm perplexed

I think that's the point some of us are trying to make. Whilst I do understand where the op is coming from with regards being put off from meeting people: I've declined meeting someone for less, it's the paranoia I don't get.

None of us has to be here! If the thought of catching a std by having sex with multiple sexual partners, total strangers, why they're here Lord knows! "

Exactly! It's the paranoia I don't get, not the insistence on safe sex! Also, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm getting mailed off forum by people demanding that I agree with them! There seem to be some serious issues with some people on here!

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto


"

Honestly, if you that worried, maybe you stop sleeping around with multiple people you meet online.

Just a thought...

You're really gonna use the term 'sleeping around' on a swingers site? "

The point is a valid one. Not sure why you felt the need to cherrypick the response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny topic IMO

Barebacks bareback, weather it was last week or 3 years ago, most people have barebacked at some point and if they have never been for any sexual health checkup then they could be carrying anything and no-one would be any wiser.

I don't really know how "trust" could ever be brought into the equation on a swingers sex site.

Surely people must assume every potential meet has barebacked at some point and most probably never been tested and therefor take the precaution they feel appropriate.

Id never use the term ignorance is bliss, it's like walking around with your eyes closed while their screaming in your ear...and your thinking "your not there, your not there cos I can't see you" blah blah blah...

Assume everyone poses a risk to you, but at least the people with pics of them barebacking are being honest about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The way some people go on about the risks makes me wonder why they choose to have sex with multiple partners in the first instance, I understand that safety is a priority, but at what point can it be considered obsessive?? Surely the worry takes away the fun of a meeting strangers for sex?!? I'm perplexed

I think that's the point some of us are trying to make. Whilst I do understand where the op is coming from with regards being put off from meeting people: I've declined meeting someone for less, it's the paranoia I don't get.

None of us has to be here! If the thought of catching a std by having sex with multiple sexual partners, total strangers, why they're here Lord knows!

Exactly! It's the paranoia I don't get, not the insistence on safe sex! Also, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm getting mailed off forum by people demanding that I agree with them! There seem to be some serious issues with some people on here!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Honestly, if you that worried, maybe you stop sleeping around with multiple people you meet online.

Just a thought...

You're really gonna use the term 'sleeping around' on a swingers site?

The point is a valid one. Not sure why you felt the need to cherrypick the response."

Thanks. People can cherrypick all they want. It's the reality of the lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The way some people go on about the risks makes me wonder why they choose to have sex with multiple partners in the first instance, I understand that safety is a priority, but at what point can it be considered obsessive?? Surely the worry takes away the fun of a meeting strangers for sex?!? I'm perplexed

I think that's the point some of us are trying to make. Whilst I do understand where the op is coming from with regards being put off from meeting people: I've declined meeting someone for less, it's the paranoia I don't get.

None of us has to be here! If the thought of catching a std by having sex with multiple sexual partners, total strangers, why they're here Lord knows! "

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


".....

Id never use the term ignorance is bliss, "

You just did..... but I guess you meant it in a less literal context.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But if they use a condom with you, then why is it an issue?"

spot on.

everyone has fucked bare back and everyone does oral,same difference

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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago

south staffs

Erm . . . . It is quite possible to catch an STI from oral either way.

So just wearing a welly for penetration isn't as "SAFE" as everyone seems to make out.

Check-ups are a must. Then you KNOW that you were ok at that point in time.

Jane x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a picture showing possible penetration without a condom but I always use a condom...however first impressions could stop women saying they may meet..some good points raised...pause for thought needed here

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"But if they use a condom with you, then why is it an issue?

spot on.

everyone has fucked bare back and everyone does oral,same difference"

I know the potential risks of driving in bad weather... and thus I take precautions to make that risk acceptable to me. However, I recon watching '100 Most Horrific Motorway Crashes' just before setting off might dampen my enthusiasm a tad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the choice of not having sex with anyone for any reason is clear and well obviously acceptable

what isnt clear is the fact we ALL as a sexual group practice unsafe sex..

that is sex with non long term partners

and of course its just as likely to be the same on any adult meeting site..not just swingers sites

not too sure if anyone has ever answered my question on female bisexual play...surely protection should be used also?..

anyway..I'm yet to see a dental dam being brought out in any meet Ive witnessed

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"the choice of not having sex with anyone for any reason is clear and well obviously acceptable

what isnt clear is the fact we ALL as a sexual group practice unsafe sex..

that is sex with non long term partners

and of course its just as likely to be the same on any adult meeting site..not just swingers sites

not too sure if anyone has ever answered my question on female bisexual play...surely protection should be used also?..

anyway..I'm yet to see a dental dam being brought out in any meet Ive witnessed

"

I think it's fair to say that very few people practice completely safe sex. Stis can definitely be passed orally from female to female or by sharing toys. As so many have said we have two choices take responsibility for your own health or don't get involved with.any lifestyle that puts you at risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


".....

Id never use the term ignorance is bliss,

You just did..... but I guess you meant it in a less literal context.

"

odd

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