FabSwingers.com forum: Wife has lost her desire for sex no matter how much I try. Anyone else in the same position?

By (user no longer on site) OP
3 days ago

Wife is constantly too tired no matter how much I try. Anyone else suffer from the same problem?

Would love a wee dirty pic or vid to wank off too to help me get through the blue balls if you wouldn’t mind sending one lol

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By *tr8MrEMan
3 days ago

somewhere near Sheffield

Nope, I have no problem with your wife 🤣🤣🤣

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By (user no longer on site) OP
3 days ago

LOL touché

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

Why is she always too tired?

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By *xxLandNxxxCouple
2 days ago

Nuneaton/Leamington

For better or for worse, don’t think fab is the answer with the amount of online porn available

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By *eelGoodIncMan
2 days ago

West Midlands

In a similar boat pal. Not exactly the same. She's not tired but she doesn't really have interest in it at all really. She is very aware of it too and refuses to seek any form of help. I also cannot leave because of huge financial ties across the board, family business, property, kids and I come from a very traditional Catholic family (I'm not religious but they are)

I tried for many years to help her but to no avail. I love her dearly but unfortunately we are all human and have needs, not just physical but also on a social basis. I have been harshly judged on here but people just don't get it which is fine.

My recommendation would be to just ask her about it and ask if there's absolutely anything you can do to help her etc. you're married so you should be able to feel comfortable talking about such things.

At least you can say you genuinely tried to help the situation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

I’ve asked that question. We have a young family and the kids take up a lot of our time and I understand I be tired too but still want to have intimacy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

I know porn is great but I miss the actually touch of a woman. There’s only so much porn you can watch you know

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

Mate I’m the exact same as you lol

We have spoke about it and it changes for like 1 week or 2 and then back to celibacy for a few weeks fuck sake lol

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By *ay h500Man
2 days ago

mansfield

This is part of the reason I'm now single. Cheating was never an option

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

"Mate I’m the exact same as you lol

We have spoke about it and it changes for like 1 week or 2 and then back to celibacy for a few weeks fuck sake lol"

Why is she so tired ?

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By *ewcouplemidsCouple
2 days ago

walsall

Perhaps tell her your on here maybe she will understand more

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By *evonrobMan
2 days ago

Kingsbridge

Basically I think this position probably sums up a large percentage of guys on here, especially the older ones. Hence the prevalence of bi men on here, obviously enjoying their continuing sexuality together. Nice to wank in company occasionally too….

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

I don’t know. I think that’s her excuse for just having a low sex drive.

I’ve a very high sex drive we’re I’m looking something intimate at least once a day. I think what I expect is much more than she wants

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

She said to me “if you want to go sleep around go right ahead” but whether she meant that I don’t know lol

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By *herrybakewellCouple
2 days ago

Staffordshire

Do you help her? Household chores, looking after children etc etc.

Does she get time to herself?

Ladies are often too tired for a reason.

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By *ABflirtyWoman
2 days ago

Norfolk Coast

Maybe you should say can I have a wank looking at your body nothing your asking her for ? x you may just make her feel desirable and that’s a start . Sex starts in your head . Xx have a go .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

Yeah like I’m a pretty good husband around the house.

I work full time and I am the bread winner

I clean, cook, look after children, do washes, change bed sheets etc I am pretty hands on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

I have done that lol

I even send her dick pics and wank vids anol just to show her I’m thinking of her when doing it lol

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By *ABflirtyWoman
2 days ago

Norfolk Coast

"I have done that lol

I even send her dick pics and wank vids anol just to show her I’m thinking of her when doing it lol"
good take her on a date Like when you first started going out xx will show her your the same man x

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By *aughty workman88Man
2 days ago

Colchester

"Wife is constantly too tired no matter how much I try. Anyone else suffer from the same problem?

Would love a wee dirty pic or vid to wank off too to help me get through the blue balls if you wouldn’t mind sending one lol"

Have you sat down with her asked how she feels or done a few romantic gestures like candle lit baths

She might just be bit down or tired

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By *aughty workman88Man
2 days ago

Colchester

Buy her a few spicy books to read they definitely help the imagination

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

I think that might the problem.

We have young kids, we both work and have busy stressful jobs. Childcare is a big issue for us. We do feel more like flat mates than lovers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

Done it all mate but never changes lol.

I just feel like we’re flat mates now just because of the nature of family you know

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By *ibsonVicMan
2 days ago

Minworth

Very true. This is the same for me.

The only sex I haver have these days is with guys who are usually in the same position as me: their wives have lost all interest.

To be fair, I've met some really nice guys. Some lovely gay guys from time to time as well....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

It’s hard going mate.

Everything in my life is perfect except for that one small thing and it’s a big thing

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By *issmorganWoman
2 days ago

Calderdale innit

"I have done that lol

I even send her dick pics and wank vids anol just to show her I’m thinking of her when doing it lol"

Be careful of doing this too often, if someone is feeling stressed about not wanting sex, this can feel like extra constant pressure.

If your kids are v young, is she having to get up on the night to them? Could she be suffering from depression, constant tiredness can be a symptom of this.

Going off sex, in my experience, is often s symptom of something else not being right in the relationship.

If you can, sit down when the kids are in bed and talk. Ask her if you can seek sex discreetly elsewhere. This would take the pressure off her & you wouldn't need to cheat on her or run the risk of losing her.

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By *i-subhubby.Man
2 days ago

Down by the river.

Since my wifes illnesses her desire for any form of sex dissappeared over 16 years ago.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

Hi, yeah our daughter isn’t even one yet and is up with her so I do understand but she’s not tired to go to the gym or bed early you know.

She said I can go get it if someone else but I do t know if she meant it or not

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

I hope your wife isn’t too distressed with her illness mate and gets better soon

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By *issmorganWoman
2 days ago

Calderdale innit

"Hi, yeah our daughter isn’t even one yet and is up with her so I do understand but she’s not tired to go to the gym or bed early you know.

She said I can go get it if someone else but I do t know if she meant it or not "

Well then, as I said talk and ask her, if it was meant or not .

If she's up several times with a young baby, it's not surprising she's tired and sex isn't the first thing on her mind.

It probably feels like just another chore /task she has to fit in.

The gym can be a good way to lift your mood and Tbf if she's getting woken up, I'm not shocked she goes to bed early op.

I appreciate you say you muck in, but having kids is a massive thing for women and things are bound to change.

Try and be understanding of it & have that talk. Maybe see if someone can look after the kids, give her some time off too and really see if there's any compromises that can be made.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
2 days ago

I understand completely but I’m up with the baby too doing feeds and changes. My wife doesn’t work as I earn enough to cover everything including bills etc

Childcare is hard cause we have no support and she won’t let me pay for a crèche cause she doesnt trust them

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By *issmorganWoman
2 days ago

Calderdale innit

"I understand completely but I’m up with the baby too doing feeds and changes. My wife doesn’t work as I earn enough to cover everything including bills etc

Childcare is hard cause we have no support and she won’t let me pay for a crèche cause she doesnt trust them"

She does work op, she brings your children up all day, everyday.

No offence but you didn't give birth or go through all those hormonal changes, like she did.

You may have all this energy, but she's clearly struggling and the only way you'll get to the bottom of it, is to talk. Ask her what you can do to help her or make things better.Does she need to see a doctor? Etc .

It's not a tit for tat as In I do this and work.

My other half has a disability, we both work and I do more in the house because of it, because I understand he's tired or can't do some chores.

Relationships need compromise at times & hopefully it won't always be this way. You are with someone for the good and bad times though.

I'll wish you luck with it.

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By *leethorpesguy25Man
2 days ago

Waltham

My missus has lost interest in sex, so happy meeting to guys for mutual pleasure

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By *i-subhubby.Man
2 days ago

Down by the river.

Cheers we have tried, but its gone. But thats the way it goes.

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By *ariaxxxxWoman
2 days ago

London/Kent

"She said to me “if you want to go sleep around go right ahead” but whether she meant that I don’t know lol"

Maybe she did mean it.....I wouldn't expect anybody to live a sexless life, Maybe ask her is she serious for you to seek sex elsewhere, to me that's a step in the right direction, Unfortunately some just lose their libido for various reasons that can't be rectified or resolved

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

"I think that might the problem.

We have young kids, we both work and have busy stressful jobs. Childcare is a big issue for us. We do feel more like flat mates than lovers "

Tap reply and quote under the post you're replying to. We will know who you're answering then

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By *ittlemisshotbotCouple
2 days ago

near you

That’s how we got into swinging.

My husband has a big sex drive and mine vanished after our first child as despite him doing everything under the sun I had zero desire due to hormones, stress and when I had free time all I wanted to do was switch off.

We talked about it on and off until I realised how depressed it was making him as before our 1st kid we would fuck multiple times 4/5 days a week. Then it went to maybe once every couple

of months.

He explained it from his side, it’s not love it’s a release desire and feeling of sexually being wanted, not on the scrape heap.

We came to an arrangement that when he was working away he had a pass out. I then found myself getting very turned on when I knew he was fucking someone else and our sex life went back to how it was pre kids and haven’t looked back since.

It’s also been great as made me look at sex as sex not love or anything.

Next thing I knew I was getting spit roasted by him and a guy he knew from a club after I confused I had always fantasied about having 2 cocks.

Ultimately it’s about communication, respect and understanding. My husband was very to the point that he wasn’t prepared to stay in a sexless marriage but was prepared to work through it. Not that he wanted to go fuck other people as that was my suggestion, but ultimately I had a choice to make about being selfish and denying him sex or acknowledging the dynamic of the marriage and relationship had changed because of me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

"Hi, yeah our daughter isn’t even one yet and is up with her so I do understand but she’s not tired to go to the gym or bed early you know.

She said I can go get it if someone else but I do t know if she meant it or not "

If you have a child under one year old she will be flaming exhausted. It didn't matter how much weight you're pulling in the relationship you can bet she's pulling more in terms of emotional labour and child care.

When you have young children it becomes difficult to maintain your relationship as it was before and you need to make adjustments and compromises. This could be a temporary thing and I'd strongly advise against you going elsewhere unless you've had a full and frank discussion and get enthusiastic consent from her.

Get a baby sitter, sit down with your wife and work out how you want your future to look between you. Then come up with short and long term strategies to make it happen

Ps sex isn't a reward for pulling your weight around the house and going to the gym is a way of getting some time to yourself.

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By *irsSubCouple
2 days ago

Darlington

"I understand completely but I’m up with the baby too doing feeds and changes. My wife doesn’t work as I earn enough to cover everything including bills etc

Childcare is hard cause we have no support and she won’t let me pay for a crèche cause she doesnt trust them"

In a way I wouldn't be too worried, there are a couple of things you've mentioned that make it sound like things will get better. From experience don't nag her for sex, it will push her away, even though most men would see it as a confidence boost. Work on your relationship, make her feel hot, talk about everything other than sex that could be wrong, trust me it will get better.

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By *ocomotiveMan
2 days ago

Sunderland

"Perhaps tell her your on here maybe she will understand more"

Yes,but before that get your will written and choose a nice coffin .

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By *agneyandhutchCouple
2 days ago

lucan

"This is part of the reason I'm now single. Cheating was never an option "

A round of applause.

The comments you make sounds like she's not into you anymore. I understand the difficulties in separating wrt kids, finances etc, but better that then stuck in a loveless marriage for both of you.

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By *ABflirtyWoman
1 day ago

Norfolk Coast

"Wife is constantly too tired no matter how much I try. Anyone else suffer from the same problem?

Would love a wee dirty pic or vid to wank off too to help me get through the blue balls if you wouldn’t mind sending one lol"
why not be open say would you like a 3 some You and a man lol or woman it may just spice up your life like lots have done on here x

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