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"She needs to go to work😎😎😎😎😎" I'm being lazy at home as off work ![]() | |||
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"Can't be arsed " 😂 | |||
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"The morning horn has gone " because your lost your horn…x | |||
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"The morning horn has gone because your lost your horn…x" Busy grooming my facial hair | |||
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"The morning horn has gone because your lost your horn…x Busy grooming my facial hair" he's a groomer | |||
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"The morning horn has gone because your lost your horn…x Busy grooming my facial hair he's a groomer " ![]() | |||
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"The morning horn has gone because your lost your horn…x Busy grooming my facial hair he's a groomer ![]() He's been caught in some headlights | |||
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"He’s at the garage still 🙄" I'm not what they are looking for 😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"He’s at the garage still 🙄 I'm not what they are looking for 😎😎😎😎😎" I’ll just do quotation marks as a ditto | |||
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"He’s at the garage still 🙄 I'm not what they are looking for 😎😎😎😎😎 I’ll just do quotation marks as a ditto " He copies alot | |||
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"I’m not sure what emoji to bring ? " You're a man! Lol Mrs x | |||
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"I’m not sure what emoji to bring ? " He's looking at a better view | |||
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"Washing hair" Im waiting with the towel. | |||
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"It’s raining ☔️ " I’m too wet….from the rain obviously ![]() | |||
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"It’s raining ☔️ I’m too wet….from the rain obviously ![]() But… your outside in the rain….. | |||
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"It’s raining ☔️ I’m too wet….from the rain obviously ![]() He's never heard of an umbrella | |||
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"It’s raining ☔️ I’m too wet….from the rain obviously ![]() I can't find my wellies. ![]() | |||
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"I cNt read though he said cnt find my willy" I'm not sure on the muffin filling😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"Muffins shouldn’t be filled ![]() I like muffins filled. J x | |||
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"Muffins shouldn’t be filled ![]() She's emptied the tank. ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Muffins shouldn’t be filled ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh drat, I like the tank full 😜 J xx | |||
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"We prefer pork sausage to Lincolnshire ![]() They didnt turn up on tuesday at 10.14am | |||
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"We prefer pork sausage to Lincolnshire ![]() She's too busy c(l)ock watching 😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"We prefer pork sausage to Lincolnshire ![]() He puts weird signs in the middle of clock | |||
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"We prefer pork sausage to Lincolnshire ![]() She doesn't see it's the letter l in brackets 😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"He's too cryptic " I prefer 6 doughnuts 😁 J x | |||
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"He's too cryptic " I can’t pronounce is name | |||
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"He's too cryptic I can’t pronounce is name " He cant do tongue twisters | |||
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"She's too busy twisting her tongue in other places ![]() Hes watching me eat a creme egg again | |||
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"She's too busy twisting her tongue in other places ![]() because she’s busy watching him eat a creme egg | |||
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"She's too busy twisting her tongue in other places ![]() I’m trying to poke your latest pic but nothings happening | |||
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"She's too busy twisting her tongue in other places ![]() Hes too busy poking pics ![]() | |||
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"She's too busy twisting her tongue in other places ![]() ![]() she’s to busy smiling ![]() | |||
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"She's too busy twisting her tongue in other places ![]() ![]() ![]() They dont like smilers 😛 | |||
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"Hiding my cheesy grin" He looks uncomfortable | |||
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"Hiding my cheesy grin He looks uncomfortable " I'm fixated on your blue clad cheeks 😈😈 | |||
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"Hiding my cheesy grin He looks uncomfortable I'm fixated on your blue clad cheeks 😈😈" He likes cladding. J x | |||
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"Hiding my cheesy grin He looks uncomfortable I'm fixated on your blue clad cheeks 😈😈 He likes cladding. J x" Now I'm doubly distracted 😈😈 | |||
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"Not paying attention properly! " Hes still half dressed | |||
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"Not paying attention properly! Hes still half dressed " Waiting for you to tug at boxers with teeth | |||
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"The cock puts me off" his to busy looking at cocks | |||
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"The cock puts me off his to busy looking at cocks" I'm probably not your type 🤓 | |||
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"The cock puts me off his to busy looking at cocks I'm probably not your type 🤓" I'm not anybody's type 🤣🤣 | |||
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"The cock puts me off his to busy looking at cocks I'm probably not your type 🤓 I'm not anybody's type 🤣🤣" He’s nobody’s type ![]() | |||
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"The cock puts me off his to busy looking at cocks I'm probably not your type 🤓 I'm not anybody's type 🤣🤣 He’s nobody’s type ![]() I was being serious (rarely I know but suddenly felt emotional) 🤣🤣 | |||
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"Id fuck you but your hubby big cock is already in you" Dude...A-im straight B-not married 🤣🤣 | |||
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"Somebody say sloppy seconds lol" Im walking the clock | |||
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"Somebody say sloppy seconds lol Im walking the clock" The clock struck one 😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"Somebody say sloppy seconds lol Im walking the clock The clock struck one 😎😎😎😎😎" Work out why his profile is hidden on a thread like this 🤷🏼♂️ | |||
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"Somebody say sloppy seconds lol Im walking the clock The clock struck one 😎😎😎😎😎" he didn't care about the falling mouse | |||
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"Somebody say sloppy seconds lol Im walking the clock The clock struck one 😎😎😎😎😎 Work out why his profile is hidden on a thread like this 🤷🏼♂️" Your too much sleuthy for me 🕵♂️🕵♀️ | |||
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"Somebody say sloppy seconds lol Im walking the clock The clock struck one 😎😎😎😎😎 Work out why his profile is hidden on a thread like this 🤷🏼♂️" They're out doing detective work 🥸 J x | |||
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"Somebody say sloppy seconds lol Im walking the clock The clock struck one 😎😎😎😎😎 Work out why his profile is hidden on a thread like this 🤷🏼♂️ They're out doing detective work 🥸 J x" Doing the lord's work, one profile at a time ![]() | |||
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"Somebody say sloppy seconds lol Im walking the clock The clock struck one 😎😎😎😎😎 Work out why his profile is hidden on a thread like this 🤷🏼♂️ They're out doing detective work 🥸 J x Doing the lord's work, one profile at a time ![]() My hands are too cold | |||
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"Somebody say sloppy seconds lol Im walking the clock The clock struck one 😎😎😎😎😎 Work out why his profile is hidden on a thread like this 🤷🏼♂️ They're out doing detective work 🥸 J x Doing the lord's work, one profile at a time ![]() We only like warm bodies😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"Somebody say sloppy seconds lol Im walking the clock The clock struck one 😎😎😎😎😎 Work out why his profile is hidden on a thread like this 🤷🏼♂️ They're out doing detective work 🥸 J x Doing the lord's work, one profile at a time ![]() I'm concerned about your emoji stutter | |||
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"Somebody say sloppy seconds lol Im walking the clock The clock struck one 😎😎😎😎😎 Work out why his profile is hidden on a thread like this 🤷🏼♂️ They're out doing detective work 🥸 J x Doing the lord's work, one profile at a time ![]() I stutter and stammer | |||
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"Somebody say sloppy seconds lol Im walking the clock The clock struck one 😎😎😎😎😎 Work out why his profile is hidden on a thread like this 🤷🏼♂️ They're out doing detective work 🥸 J x Doing the lord's work, one profile at a time ![]() Least you've not got a lisp 😭😭 | |||
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"The minion is back ![]() He loves tomato soup 🤢 | |||
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"The minion is back ![]() I can't put condensed milk in my soup 😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"The minion is back ![]() They all like stuffing and im feeling sick | |||
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"I'm saving myself " I'm not special enough | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 15/07/25 22:02:39]" You removed yourself. J x | |||
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"I'm saving myself I'm not special enough " I hate it when your right 🤣🤣 | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 15/07/25 22:02:39] You removed yourself. J x" She prefers Lincolnshire sausage | |||
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"I'm saving myself I'm not special enough I hate it when your right 🤣🤣" He's playing hard to get 😂 | |||
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"I'm saving myself I'm not special enough I hate it when your right 🤣🤣 He's playing hard to get 😂" He’s a bit too quick | |||
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"I'm saving myself I'm not special enough I hate it when your right 🤣🤣 He's playing hard to get 😂" Nope, I'm just playing.....hard 🤣🤣 | |||
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"I'm saving myself I'm not special enough I hate it when your right 🤣🤣 He's playing hard to get 😂" He gives up too easily 😂 | |||
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"I'm saving myself I'm not special enough I hate it when your right 🤣🤣 He's playing hard to get 😂 He gives up too easily 😂" I might be too much of a gorilla for them 🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍 | |||
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"I'm saving myself I'm not special enough I hate it when your right 🤣🤣 He's playing hard to get 😂 He gives up too easily 😂" Nope, not speedy 😂 | |||
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"I'm saving myself I'm not special enough I hate it when your right 🤣🤣 He's playing hard to get 😂 He gives up too easily 😂 Nope, not speedy 😂" You're only in to quickies | |||
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"I’ve ran out of fucks to give 🤷♂️" I don't like his attitude 😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"Too many sunglasses and today it rained" He doesnt like it wet | |||
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"Would love to but you soaking " I prefer cashews | |||
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"Would love to but you soaking I prefer cashews " Id soak him | |||
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"I'm currently having a craic not a craig" Minions are too cute😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"I'm currently having a craic not a craig Minions are too cute😎😎😎😎😎" I'm contemplating taking you to the study and bludgeoning you with the wrench 🤣🤣 | |||
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"I'm too busy blaming Mrs scarlett in the dinning room that used a lead pipe" I’m colonel mustard, in the library with the rope | |||
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"I'm too busy distracting u to grab the rope so I can lasso my way out the balxony" but I’m not sure I’d be able to stop sucking your amazing tits | |||
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"I'm too busy distracting u to grab the rope so I can lasso my way out the balxonybut I’m not sure I’d be able to stop sucking your amazing tits " But I'd need a massage first... | |||
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"I'm too busy distracting u to grab the rope so I can lasso my way out the balxonybut I’m not sure I’d be able to stop sucking your amazing tits But I'd need a massage first..." I've misplaced my oil collection | |||
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"I’ve banoffee ice cream and cookies 🤷🏻♂️ Priorities " Too busy eating ice cream instead of making cream Pie | |||
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"Ur busy eating ice-cream " The ice cream wasn't strawberry 😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"Mrandmrs13 but I'm outside their age range" I'm not sexy enough | |||
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"Mrandmrs13 but I'm outside their age range I'm not sexy enough" I havent had my coffee yet | |||
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"Mrandmrs13 but I'm outside their age range I'm not sexy enough I havent had my coffee yet " I prefer tea | |||
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"He's too busy reading tea leaves" Still has that yeast infection from the doughnuts | |||
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"He's too busy reading tea leaves Still has that yeast infection from the doughnuts " I dont want a yeast infection | |||
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"He's too busy reading tea leaves Still has that yeast infection from the doughnuts I dont want a yeast infection " Cant think of any reason not to..xx ![]() | |||
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"He's too busy reading tea leaves Still has that yeast infection from the doughnuts I dont want a yeast infection Cant think of any reason not to..xx ![]() Too much of a goody two shoes for me 😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"He's too busy reading tea leaves Still has that yeast infection from the doughnuts I dont want a yeast infection Cant think of any reason not to..xx ![]() I don’t like his attitude 😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"He's too busy reading tea leaves Still has that yeast infection from the doughnuts I dont want a yeast infection Cant think of any reason not to..xx ![]() He won’t be able to handle mine | |||
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"My legs are to tired to move me" I would but I can't cause my finger hurts x Mrs x | |||
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"I would but she can't undo my buttons " Like he said, I can't undo his buttons 🤷🏼♀️ Mrs | |||
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"I would but she can't undo my buttons Like he said, I can't undo his buttons 🤷🏼♀️ Mrs " She cant undo buttons xx ![]() | |||
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"I would but she can't undo my buttons Like he said, I can't undo his buttons 🤷🏼♀️ Mrs She cant undo buttons xx ![]() My fingers are busy in a pack of chocolate buttons | |||
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"I would but she can't undo my buttons Like he said, I can't undo his buttons 🤷🏼♀️ Mrs She cant undo buttons xx ![]() i am melting the buttons | |||
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"I would but she can't undo my buttons Like he said, I can't undo his buttons 🤷🏼♀️ Mrs She cant undo buttons xx ![]() You only like to put your fingers in packets of chocolate buttons | |||
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"I would but she can't undo my buttons Like he said, I can't undo his buttons 🤷🏼♀️ Mrs She cant undo buttons xx ![]() Fuck me sideways. Errrrrrrm Mmmmmmmmm Arrrrrh. Nope. Can't think of anything 😕 | |||
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"I would but she can't undo my buttons Like he said, I can't undo his buttons 🤷🏼♀️ Mrs She cant undo buttons xx ![]() He doesn't have the capacity😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"I would but she can't undo my buttons Like he said, I can't undo his buttons 🤷🏼♀️ Mrs She cant undo buttons xx ![]() He doesn’t have a profile to judge him on | |||
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"Too big for me" He only wants to wank over me | |||
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"U have too many doughnuts" You look busy already 😁 | |||
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"U have too many doughnuts You look busy already 😁" He doesn't like competition 😎😎😎😎😎 | |||
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"U have too many doughnuts You look busy already 😁 He doesn't like competition 😎😎😎😎😎" I'm attempting to scare him shitless | |||
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"He's an intimidating presence" He's easily intimidated | |||
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"He's an intimidating presence He's easily intimidated " I STILL can’t catch him ![]() | |||
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"He's an intimidating presence He's easily intimidated I STILL can’t catch him ![]() He's seeking fun in all the wrong places | |||
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"He's an intimidating presence He's easily intimidated I STILL can’t catch him ![]() The minion weirds me out | |||
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"He's an intimidating presence He's easily intimidated I STILL can’t catch him ![]() his being to weird.. | |||
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"I’m relaxing in the bath xx " I'm mesmerized by the arse 😈😈 | |||
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"I’m relaxing in the bath xx I'm mesmerized by the arse 😈😈" . Hes too mesmerised and cant look away from her arse | |||
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"I’m relaxing in the bath xx I'm mesmerized by the arse 😈😈. Hes too mesmerised and cant look away from her arse " I’m lost staring at her beautiful body ![]() | |||
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"I’m relaxing in the bath xx I'm mesmerized by the arse 😈😈. Hes too mesmerised and cant look away from her arse " I did 😈😈 | |||
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