FabSwingers.com forum: What is the correct etiquette?

By *leafordian75 OP Man
12 weeks ago

Newark

I have been off here for a few years while in a relationship that has recently ended.

Came back last month and got talking to a really nice couple who were looking for a chap to join them. They are relatively new to the scene - they joined while I've been away.

Chat has gone well, funny, flirty and earlier today they sent me a pic of them and the woman is someone I've worked with for the past decade and know very well - although obviously not as well as I'd thought!

We've shared a couple of flirty conversations at work but nothing more so I'm not sure she's into me. Do I risk sending a return pic or is that just asking for trouble? Is the etiquette in these situations to just block and never mention anything to her?

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By *hat.coupleCouple
12 weeks ago

Kent

"I have been off here for a few years while in a relationship that has recently ended.

Came back last month and got talking to a really nice couple who were looking for a chap to join them. They are relatively new to the scene - they joined while I've been away.

Ooooooh that is a tricky one! I personally would probably send a picture back of yourself commenting that you didn't realise she was in the lifestyle too. Who knows, maybe she already knows its you?

Mrs x

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By *samyhotwifeWoman
12 weeks ago

Dublin

"I have been off here for a few years while in a relationship that has recently ended.

Came back last month and got talking to a really nice couple who were looking for a chap to join them. They are relatively new to the scene - they joined while I've been away.

I've had it happen a few times. I guess it depends on how much you'd fancy them

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

Send a photo back without question

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By *ellhungvweMan
12 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I don’t think there is a “correct” etiquette. I would probably block and just forget about it but then I don’t really want the work place drama if it goes wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue.

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By *ack1971Man
12 weeks ago

Cork

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue."

The only correct way to handle this.

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By *iceGuy78xMan
12 weeks ago

Stroud

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue."

Came here to say exactly this

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By *leafordian75 OP Man
12 weeks ago

Newark

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue."

I think this is the approach I will take. Don't want to put the fear of God into them, but if they are interested then maybe they'll risk taking it further.

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue.

I think this is the approach I will take. Don't want to put the fear of God into them, but if they are interested then maybe they'll risk taking it further."

Good luck op

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By *aizyWoman
12 weeks ago

west midlands

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue."

💯 this.

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By *egoMan
12 weeks ago

Preston

I would tell them tbh.

Sorry I didn’t know we knew each other in ‘civilian’ life. Are you still comfortable with this?

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By *umblefunMan
12 weeks ago

London/ South West (Devon, Somerset).

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue.

I think this is the approach I will take. Don't want to put the fear of God into them, but if they are interested then maybe they'll risk taking it further."
. Good advice! I’d go with this approach too.

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By *ubikslongswordMan
12 weeks ago

Rubiksville

Let us know how it goes OP

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By *heshireguy99Man
12 weeks ago

Northwich

I would do what _umblefun said

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By *herrybakewellCouple
12 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Send a pic, from there you know if its still continuing or if its over.

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By *ollyPocket75Woman
12 weeks ago

Aberdeen

It's a tricky one, if you like them enough then send your photo and see what happens 🤷‍♀️ good luck OP

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By *upersonic SamMan
12 weeks ago

wigan

If your relationship ended when you split at work and you have no mutual friends then send the picture. Swinging is a very discrete community and they won't tell. The main factor even if she fancied you is some people in couples don't like their partner playing with somebody they have known, the prior connection can be too much, fuck her yes, chat about old work things no.

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple
12 weeks ago

Cambridgeshire

"We've shared a couple of flirty conversations at work but nothing more so I'm not sure she's into me."

Just because she's not into having an affair with you behind her husband's back doesn't mean she wouldn't swing with you!

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By *reasyMan
12 weeks ago

Caerphilly

My first and foremost thought is we are all on this site for the same reason. And we have no idea in truth of our friends and neighbours who could also possibly be on here. I absolutely agree. I would send a clothed picture with a short message saying it’s a surprise we do know each other we seem to have a connection through our messages. I have no desire to make it awkward both on here and at work. How do you feel and see what the reply is that you get.

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By *r.EdibleMan
12 weeks ago

Fraserburgh

I would say if you've worked with her for a decade you should leave well alone. No good is going to come of rejection and the ensuing awkwardness that would follow. Your job and hers is the most important thing here as it's what pays the bills - its "real life". You wanting a night with her and her fella doesn't come close in the grand scheme of things.

Sorry to be so boring, but it's the truth.

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By *hortieWoman
12 weeks ago

Northampton

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue."

This.

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
12 weeks ago

Somerset

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue."
If you do say that, it’s only fair you reveal who you are or they will be constantly wondering.

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

I would run away. There is no way I'd risk anything in my real life when it comes to work. But you do what's right for you. I don't think there's a general rule regarding this specifically except don't be a cunt. 🤷‍♀️

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By *heeky12399Man
12 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

All depends on you. You can say that you only recognised since the pic. And then understand if they don't want to continue due to knowing each other but I'd make it clear to them that I hope they respect my privacy and I respect theirs and don't make this lifestyle public. It's a tricky one but it could work out

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By *ichaelsmyMan
12 weeks ago

doiglas

test the waters with them and let them know you know them. offer to keep things a secret if that is what they want.

but be nice about it.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
12 weeks ago

Norwich

Don't be That person who tells them they know him without revealing who you are.

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By *leafordian75 OP Man
12 weeks ago

Newark

Okay, so as an update to this, I messaged them and highlighted I knew one of them and asked what they'd like to do.

After what seemed like weeks, but was only a few hours, they responded and asked who I was.

I sent a face pics and said "surprise!" I got a quick response of OMG! hahaha.

After a couple more messages it's been decided that we won't meet to play (sadly) but wife and I are having coffee on Friday to chat about the lifestyle etc. So, all good!

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By *omRachCouple
12 weeks ago

Wirral

"Okay, so as an update to this, I messaged them and highlighted I knew one of them and asked what they'd like to do.

After what seemed like weeks, but was only a few hours, they responded and asked who I was.

I sent a face pics and said "surprise!" I got a quick response of OMG! hahaha.

After a couple more messages it's been decided that we won't meet to play (sadly) but wife and I are having coffee on Friday to chat about the lifestyle etc. So, all good!"

Are you disappointed at that?

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By *dinburghWomanWoman
12 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue."

Another vote for this approach

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By *ouple_For_BuddyCouple
12 weeks ago

Newport

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue.

I think this is the approach I will take. Don't want to put the fear of God into them, but if they are interested then maybe they'll risk taking it further."

They may initially be a little worried, or it may be the exact scenario that they are looking for.

Personally I would at least reveal myself so that you are on a level playing field.

Personally, I do not think anything else comes into it, after all you are only swinging, it is not as though they are your permanent partner. If it all goes wrong, move on - no need for any drama when they are not your partner.

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By *dintvTV/TS
12 weeks ago

your bed

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue."

Yeah, completely agree. Think it would be really poor etiquette to just block - might give her some unnecessary insecurities x

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By *oedipperMan
12 weeks ago

Wirksworth

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue."

This gets my vote. Blocking seems rude with no explanation. This lets them decide even if you still decided you don't want to move forwards.

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By *ollyPocket75Woman
12 weeks ago

Aberdeen

"Okay, so as an update to this, I messaged them and highlighted I knew one of them and asked what they'd like to do.

After what seemed like weeks, but was only a few hours, they responded and asked who I was.

I sent a face pics and said "surprise!" I got a quick response of OMG! hahaha.

After a couple more messages it's been decided that we won't meet to play (sadly) but wife and I are having coffee on Friday to chat about the lifestyle etc. So, all good!"

This is still a good outcome, if nothing else you can build on your friendship. Enjoy your coffee meet

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
12 weeks ago

South Wales

"Okay, so as an update to this, I messaged them and highlighted I knew one of them and asked what they'd like to do.

After what seemed like weeks, but was only a few hours, they responded and asked who I was.

I sent a face pics and said "surprise!" I got a quick response of OMG! hahaha.

After a couple more messages it's been decided that we won't meet to play (sadly) but wife and I are having coffee on Friday to chat about the lifestyle etc. So, all good!"

I think this is a pretty good outcome and meeting for a coffee and a chat will make sure things aren’t awkward in the future and you remain friends xx 😘

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By *eautyabcCouple
12 weeks ago

bridgend

Totally agree

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By *issmorganWoman
12 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I'd also reply and say you know them and see what they want to do about it op.

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By *leafordian75 OP Man
12 weeks ago

Newark

"Okay, so as an update to this, I messaged them and highlighted I knew one of them and asked what they'd like to do.

After what seemed like weeks, but was only a few hours, they responded and asked who I was.

I sent a face pics and said "surprise!" I got a quick response of OMG! hahaha.

After a couple more messages it's been decided that we won't meet to play (sadly) but wife and I are having coffee on Friday to chat about the lifestyle etc. So, all good!

Are you disappointed at that?"

A little bit. It's difficult to get meets at the best of times, and she is is very attractive. But, I think there are far more potential negatives than positives - even though the positive is a big one!

Meeting with her tomorrow so looking forward to hearing her thoughts on the matter, but certainly not going to push for anything further at this stage.

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By *ariaxxxxWoman
12 weeks ago

Kent/London/Greater London

My advice OP is.....I'd never mix work with pleasure.....it could get awkward

Maybe tell her you recognise her & it's too close to 'home' to continue

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
12 weeks ago

Northampton

OP you did the right thing and got a great result out of it

Enjoy the coffee catchup

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By *odgerMan
12 weeks ago

Coventry(ish)London/Lincoln

Wonder if she's reading this thread

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By *ariaxxxxWoman
12 weeks ago

Kent/London/Greater London

"Okay, so as an update to this, I messaged them and highlighted I knew one of them and asked what they'd like to do.

After what seemed like weeks, but was only a few hours, they responded and asked who I was.

I sent a face pics and said "surprise!" I got a quick response of OMG! hahaha.

After a couple more messages it's been decided that we won't meet to play (sadly) but wife and I are having coffee on Friday to chat about the lifestyle etc. So, all good!

Are you disappointed at that?

Meeting with her tomorrow so looking forward to hearing her thoughts on the matter, but certainly not going to push for anything further at this stage. "

Soz, I didn't see this update before I posted my other comment OP, enjoy the coffee & chat tomorrow 👍

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
12 weeks ago

Merseyside

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue."

I agree with this best be honest and not fuck people around

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By *teveanddebsCouple
12 weeks ago

Norwich

"Okay, so as an update to this, I messaged them and highlighted I knew one of them and asked what they'd like to do.

After what seemed like weeks, but was only a few hours, they responded and asked who I was.

I sent a face pics and said "surprise!" I got a quick response of OMG! hahaha.

After a couple more messages it's been decided that we won't meet to play (sadly) but wife and I are having coffee on Friday to chat about the lifestyle etc. So, all good!

Are you disappointed at that?

Meeting with her tomorrow so looking forward to hearing her thoughts on the matter, but certainly not going to push for anything further at this stage. "

How did it go?

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By *ustyb555Couple
12 weeks ago

leeds

"I'd just say, before we go any further I recognize you from your photo, I didn't know previously but we do actually know each other, and leave it up to them if they'd like to continue."

💯 this

Good luck

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By *hastity_roseTV/TS
12 weeks ago

Nowhere

Wow

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
12 weeks ago

easington were the sun dont shine

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By *leafordian75 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Newark

It went rezlly, really well.

She said that under different circumstances she and hubby would've been very happy to play (so I'm now looking for a new job, so this can happen!) Lol.

Gave me an interesting insight into being a couple on here. I always complain about messages being ignored etc, I hadn't realised the amount of toxic behaviour couple have to put up with. So, that was an eye opener.

But other than that, we swapped a few sexy stories and we've gone back to being good work friends, with a slight difference!

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