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Holding messages as “un read”

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By *anda2 OP   Couple
13 weeks ago

south Norwich

Can anyone explain why so many people that receive polite and thought out messages rather than the “hi” or “ how are you” leave them sitting as “un read”. What is the point of looking at the message and simply marking it as un read. What is wrong with just a short reply of not interested. ? This site is we thought about communication but seems we must have it wrong Are we the only ones who wonder why

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I have loads unread, I don't mark them that way I just haven't bothered to read them.

Why - because quite simply I can't be arsed right now.

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By *aomilatteCouple
13 weeks ago

Midlands

One of a couple may read it but put it as unread until their partner has read it. Or they may not be interested. If you send messages it's best to forget about them and not check if it's been read or deleted. If they're interested they'll message back.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
13 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Because the sort of people who watch their outbox for message status are often the ones who'll launch into a tirade about what an ignorant ugly slut you are for not responding immediately.

Sometimes I can't be arsed with the hassle. Sometimes I leave it to come back to when I have more spoons and can give it the attention it deserves. Sometimes I see how long it is and just think 'ugh, later' 💜

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
13 weeks ago

Bristol


"One of a couple may read it but put it as unread until their partner has read it. Or they may not be interested. If you send messages it's best to forget about them and not check if it's been read or deleted. If they're interested they'll message back."

Totally this system for us. If not interested it will be a response to say so, or a delete (depending on how polite the message is)

If its been marked as unread, it means either of us has read it, think it might be interesting, and want to check in with the other.

Or, sometimes, because Mrs can be slightly awkward with early messages she waits for me to do the initial small-talk and picks it up when the convo is flowing a little better.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
13 weeks ago

Uttoxeter


"Can anyone explain why so many people that receive polite and thought out messages rather than the “hi” or “ how are you” leave them sitting as “un read”. What is the point of looking at the message and simply marking it as un read. What is wrong with just a short reply of not interested. ? This site is we thought about communication but seems we must have it wrong Are we the only ones who wonder why "

If it isn’t deleted then there’s hope…

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By *anda2 OP   Couple
13 weeks ago

south Norwich

We as a couple are lucky enough to have a great group of close friends we meet on a regular basis We know we are lucky and have all the fun we look for. This post was a very genuine question based on the art of communication or as we note the lack of it which we feel is the key to finding fun. It’s strange that those who fail to respond can be seen as those who voice their frustration at not meeting people. !! Do you think there is a link here ??

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By *an JuniperoCouple
13 weeks ago

North East

Quite often one of us reads a message and then marks it as unread so the other doesn’t miss it. Sometimes we haven’t got time to reply, or have a conversation so we’ll have a quick read and then mark as unread. Nothing sinister or to do with being bad communicators, it’s not that deep.

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By *anda2 OP   Couple
13 weeks ago

south Norwich

Just to make clear we have no problem with messages being marked as un read or even if we receive a reply to any we have sent as we are very fortunate to have a lovely group of friends we see on a regular basis and this is for us just perfect. Our comment on leaving or marking as un read is referenced to those who have sent us a message asking to meet us ! We reply with “thank you let’s do that “ and then the un read status comes in. That’s why we reference bad communication. Let’s make clear we are not up set , stalking people or worried about life at all. But it’s interesting to see others comments. Thank you all x

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By *ice_couple2012Couple
13 weeks ago

Leicester


"Quite often one of us reads a message and then marks it as unread so the other doesn’t miss it. Sometimes we haven’t got time to reply, or have a conversation so we’ll have a quick read and then mark as unread. Nothing sinister or to do with being bad communicators, it’s not that deep. "

100% this

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By *aizyWoman
13 weeks ago

west midlands

Sometimes I'll open a msg and just don't have time there and then to give a proper response so I will put it back on unread till I have time to answer.

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By *lex.and.SexCouple
13 weeks ago

Bedale

For us it's usually because there is something I can't answer immediately, probably some specific question or roadblock that needs Lucy's input.

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By *ustus5555Woman
13 weeks ago

Mansfield


"Because the sort of people who watch their outbox for message status are often the ones who'll launch into a tirade about what an ignorant ugly slut you are for not responding immediately.

Sometimes I can't be arsed with the hassle. Sometimes I leave it to come back to when I have more spoons and can give it the attention it deserves. Sometimes I see how long it is and just think 'ugh, later' 💜"
this

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago


"Can anyone explain why so many people that receive polite and thought out messages rather than the “hi” or “ how are you” leave them sitting as “un read”. What is the point of looking at the message and simply marking it as un read. What is wrong with just a short reply of not interested. ? This site is we thought about communication but seems we must have it wrong Are we the only ones who wonder why "
totally agree OP

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By *ikeC81Man
13 weeks ago

harrow

Sometimes I will scan read a message then move it back to unread so I can answer it at a more appropriate time

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By *oody459Man
13 weeks ago

Carlisle


"I have loads unread, I don't mark them that way I just haven't bothered to read them.

Why - because quite simply I can't be arsed right now."

Something us men need to recognise, understand and respect

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