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"A lot of people expect gratitude for unsolicited 'compliments' I think that's pretty bad manners 💜" Absolutely. Uninvited comments do not automatically get a reply. | |||
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"When a consideration is shown, or offered to them, then "forget" to give thanks for the effort they have made to them?" Was the effort requested or required by them? 💜 | |||
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"Neither. When the action was performed unbidden, that is what I am trying to say." So people should be grateful for everyone who speaks at them, regardless of whether the interaction was wanted or pleasant? | |||
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"An example. Ursula has contacted Peter, iniating the conversation, which goes along smoothly for a while, presumably mutually satisfactory otherwise it wouldn't have continued. Then discontinues/blocks the Fabs exchange with no reason given, is that good manners or something else, perhaps a display of power or dominance maybe?" that is quite normal for blokes on fab to be on the receiving end of. maybe Ursula changed her mind, was on here just for a chat and got what she wanted, got a better offer, or maybe Peter said something that Ursula didn't like. shit happens, the ladies have much more choice than men on here. Peter should accept it and move on. | |||
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"An example. Ursula has contacted Peter, iniating the conversation, which goes along smoothly for a while, presumably mutually satisfactory otherwise it wouldn't have continued. Then discontinues/blocks the Fabs exchange with no reason given, is that good manners or something else, perhaps a display of power or dominance maybe?" For whatever reason, Ursula is no longer interested. Could be something on the conversation, could be something external, but the end result is that she does not wish to continue the interaction. Ursula is on fab, which means she is well experienced in how many people react to rejection on here, which commonly involves demands to know why, trying to talk them out of it, and being told the person saying no is an ugly pig slut that they wouldn't want to touch anyway. Ursula decides to save herself the aggro with a block, as this is a clear indicator of the conversation being over without opening herself up to abuse. Blocking people is simply a way to enrich your own fab experience and make the site work for you. The height of good manners it is not, but it is a perfectly appropriate response when you don't want to hear from someone. If no other contact details have been exchanged then it obviously wasn't that deep. You are not owed closure or an explanation. Yes, it would be nice. But given how most attempts to let someone down gently on here go, taking the route that doesn't come with being harangued afterwards is reasonable 💜 | |||
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"Remember to say please and thank you for a consideration or a kindness? A lot of people have no idea of good manners? " Nothing bugs is more than a lack of decorum | |||
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"Agreed, just because some people have the ability to dictate conditions and behaviour, because of their high social ranking doesn’t mean they should, manners maketh man ( or woman), I think anyway. Personality can best be judged by someone unwitting actions? Sorry for the wordy reply, thanks for your time? Do you know u.n.c.o.n.c.i.o.u.s. Is not allowed in discussions here on FabS? " Yes I do know that. If you tap on reply+quote under the post you're answering we will be able to see who you're responding to  | |||
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"Agreed, just because some people have the ability to dictate conditions and behaviour, because of their high social ranking doesn’t mean they should, manners maketh man ( or woman), I think anyway. Personality can best be judged by someone unwitting actions? Sorry for the wordy reply, thanks for your time? Do you know u.n.c.o.n.c.i.o.u.s. Is not allowed in discussions here on FabS? Yes I do know that. If you tap on reply+quote under the post you're answering we will be able to see who you're responding to " | |||
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"Remember to say please and thank you for a consideration or a kindness? A lot of people have no idea of good manners? " Unfortunately I would have to agree OP | |||
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"I think in general respect and manners are hard to find these days " 100% agree....unfortunately | |||
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"Agreed, just because some people have the ability to dictate conditions and behaviour, because of their high social ranking doesn’t mean they should, manners maketh man ( or woman), I think anyway. Personality can best be judged by someone unwitting actions? Sorry for the wordy reply, thanks for your time? Do you know u.n.c.o.n.c.i.o.u.s. Is not allowed in discussions here on FabS? Yes I do know that. If you tap on reply+quote under the post you're answering we will be able to see who you're responding to "Then tap after the last bracket and start typing | |||
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"Op people block others for all kinds of reasons. They think the chats not going anywhere, they were creeped out by somthing that was said or life took over. It happens on here, ideally people would say why they're blocking, but many fear the abuse they'd get so just choose to block the other person. There's always a reason for a block,you just might not know why. " Couldn’t agree more , but should it! I hope I can be courteous and truthful without suffering abuse in return, , forlorn hope I fear | |||
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"What abuse are you suffering op? If people are sending you abusive messages you can report them so admin can deal with it. " Just sad peaking generally not in particular? Hope I am not being too obtuse? It is just that the tenor of discourse and interaction oftentimes seems like a dominance game. Just my opinion not generalising l | |||
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"An example. Ursula has contacted Peter, iniating the conversation, which goes along smoothly for a while, presumably mutually satisfactory otherwise it wouldn't have continued. Then discontinues/blocks the Fabs exchange with no reason given, is that good manners or something else, perhaps a display of power or dominance maybe?" It's clearly someone changing their mind which they are entitled to do. Its not a power or dominance thing it's a I'm not into this anymore goodbye thing. No reply = no thank you, see fab rules. | |||
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"An example. Ursula has contacted Peter, iniating the conversation, which goes along smoothly for a while, presumably mutually satisfactory otherwise it wouldn't have continued. Then discontinues/blocks the Fabs exchange with no reason given, is that good manners or something else, perhaps a display of power or dominance maybe? For whatever reason, Ursula is no longer interested. Could be something on the conversation, could be something external, but the end result is that she does not wish to continue the interaction. Ursula is on fab, which means she is well experienced in how many people react to rejection on here, which commonly involves demands to know why, trying to talk them out of it, and being told the person saying no is an ugly pig slut that they wouldn't want to touch anyway. Ursula decides to save herself the aggro with a block, as this is a clear indicator of the conversation being over without opening herself up to abuse. Blocking people is simply a way to enrich your own fab experience and make the site work for you. The height of good manners it is not, but it is a perfectly appropriate response when you don't want to hear from someone. If no other contact details have been exchanged then it obviously wasn't that deep. You are not owed closure or an explanation. Yes, it would be nice. But given how most attempts to let someone down gently on here go, taking the route that doesn't come with being harangued afterwards is reasonable 💜" This is an ideal world or Demi-monde even and abuse if you have suffered it I abhor. As previously mentioned I applaud good manners and try my hardest to be a good example , not a terrible warning! | |||
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"What abuse are you suffering op? If people are sending you abusive messages you can report them so admin can deal with it. Just sad peaking generally not in particular? Hope I am not being too obtuse? It is just that the tenor of discourse and interaction oftentimes seems like a dominance game. Just my opinion not generalising l" It is a dominance game to some people. On line communication is very different to face to face. People behave in ways they never would in person. Men say sexual things to strangers that they wouldn't dare in the street. Women say nasty things they would never say face to face. People don't thank others for well meant kindness. People expect gratitude for unwanted attention bestowed on another. The best way to navigate all this in my opinion is to accept that *some* people don't know how to comport themselves and employ judicious use of the block button and or the report button and realise that what might seem like a nice thing to you may not to another. | |||
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"Sorry but for some reason things aren’t laying out properly, I agree people are free to do or not do what they want, I just think maybe it is done for reasons less that show something wanting in their treatment of others?" The other day I turned someone down. He asked why, so I explained what in his messages had made me not want to be involved. After receiving the requested feedback, he went on a pretty vicious tirade, how I could have just said no (that's what I did originally) and not personally insulted him (all comments were directly about the words used and why I didn't like the phrasing or implication, not about him personally). Then moved on to vague threats about how he hopes noone finds my real name, how would my family and colleagues feel if they knew about me, I will rue the day I disrespected him, blah blah blah. Then he changed his profile name to mine with a 1 on the end, deleted all his own pictures and uploaded mine, put up a status about being hacked, and proceeded to do as much damage as his impotent rage would let him. Now, all I did was respond politely to what he had sent me in messages. How much easier would my day have gone if I'd just blocked him as soon as I realised he wasn't someone I'd want to connect with? Yes, it sucks for the rational people who can behave like adults. But I absolutely understand why so many people just block someone they're not interested in. It is not about power or dominance. It is not about being of a 'higher' social class. It's just about keeping yourself safe and unharassed 💜 | |||
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"Sorry but for some reason things aren’t laying out properly, I agree people are free to do or not do what they want, I just think maybe it is done for reasons less that show something wanting in their treatment of others?" No, a lot of the time men do it to start a conversation. A reply of Aw Thank You is seen as they are interested and then a second or third message arrives. Then people have to stop responding or become blunt then some S/M get aggressive. Best just to leave it. | |||
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"Remember to say please and thank you for a consideration or a kindness? A lot of people have no idea of good manners? " There is something of the “Wild West” about internet dating of which I would include Fabs. People and can do behave in a particular way behind the wide cover of a keyboard that they may not do face to face. Added to this if you are deemed desirable you have even more scope to behave how you like. That is just the fact of it, the Law of Fab, if you like. Not sure it gets you anywhere to complain about it: either this Scene is for you, or it isn’t.  | |||
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"Sorry but for some reason things aren’t laying out properly, I agree people are free to do or not do what they want, I just think maybe it is done for reasons less that show something wanting in their treatment of others? The other day I turned someone down. He asked why, so I explained what in his messages had made me not want to be involved. After receiving the requested feedback, he went on a pretty vicious tirade, how I could have just said no (that's what I did originally) and not personally insulted him (all comments were directly about the words used and why I didn't like the phrasing or implication, not about him personally). Then moved on to vague threats about how he hopes noone finds my real name, how would my family and colleagues feel if they knew about me, I will rue the day I disrespected him, blah blah blah. Then he changed his profile name to mine with a 1 on the end, deleted all his own pictures and uploaded mine, put up a status about being hacked, and proceeded to do as much damage as his impotent rage would let him. Now, all I did was respond politely to what he had sent me in messages. How much easier would my day have gone if I'd just blocked him as soon as I realised he wasn't someone I'd want to connect with? Yes, it sucks for the rational people who can behave like adults. But I absolutely understand why so many people just block someone they're not interested in. It is not about power or dominance. It is not about being of a 'higher' social class. It's just about keeping yourself safe and unharassed 💜" This
After this experience the Op should now know why it’s better to say nothing rather than to get into a narrative with a stranger on the internet.
It’s not rude to start a conversation and end it as soon as the red flags start to appear.
I don’t do anal sex, started a conversation with one guy who initially understood and was fine about it. However a few messages later he’s on about anal and could I be ‘persuaded’ into it ?
Understand now why I stopped talking to him ?
Was I rude or should I have told him I don’t think he’d respect my boundaries if we met ?
Think he’d reply with understanding and respect to my decision ?
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"Sorry but for some reason things aren’t laying out properly, I agree people are free to do or not do what they want, I just think maybe it is done for reasons less that show something wanting in their treatment of others? The other day I turned someone down. He asked why, so I explained what in his messages had made me not want to be involved. After receiving the requested feedback, he went on a pretty vicious tirade, how I could have just said no (that's what I did originally) and not personally insulted him (all comments were directly about the words used and why I didn't like the phrasing or implication, not about him personally). Then moved on to vague threats about how he hopes noone finds my real name, how would my family and colleagues feel if they knew about me, I will rue the day I disrespected him, blah blah blah. Then he changed his profile name to mine with a 1 on the end, deleted all his own pictures and uploaded mine, put up a status about being hacked, and proceeded to do as much damage as his impotent rage would let him. Now, all I did was respond politely to what he had sent me in messages. How much easier would my day have gone if I'd just blocked him as soon as I realised he wasn't someone I'd want to connect with? Yes, it sucks for the rational people who can behave like adults. But I absolutely understand why so many people just block someone they're not interested in. It is not about power or dominance. It is not about being of a 'higher' social class. It's just about keeping yourself safe and unharassed 💜 This
After this experience the Op should now know why it’s better to say nothing rather than to get into a narrative with a stranger on the internet.
It’s not rude to start a conversation and end it as soon as the red flags start to appear.
I don’t do anal sex, started a conversation with one guy who initially understood and was fine about it. However a few messages later he’s on about anal and could I be ‘persuaded’ into it ?
Understand now why I stopped talking to him ?
Was I rude or should I have told him I don’t think he’d respect my boundaries if we met ?
Think he’d reply with understanding and respect to my decision ?
"I'm sorry for your awful experience, but thanks for sharing it. It's the perfect rejoinder to OP's original remarks. OP, you feel this way because of entitlement. You feel that you deserve a response to your words, that the recipients should feel, and show, their gratitude for your praise. This is not true. They owe you nothing, and in this environment, your irritation at being ignored shows either quite profound ignorance of the dynamics here on FAB, or a willful dismissal of multiple women's horrible experiences. I'll repeat: You, and I, and every other person here are owed nothing. Not a smile, not a thank you, and certainly not some weird pass to say and show things that you would never do to someone's face. Think on that, please. | |||
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"I have to say op that I think I've shown a consideration or kindness in this thread by helpfully pointing out how to use the reply+quote feature. It may be that you already knew how to use it but I still did it. Should I expect thanks or is a kind act reward in itself? " I guess a please or thank you for such a kind gesture is out of the question from the looks of it. Some people truly have no manners 💜 | |||
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"Remember to say please and thank you for a consideration or a kindness? A lot of people have no idea of good manners? " It's easier to just delete block and move on though, I'll bet there isn't a single woman in the forums who hasn't received an abusive message as a result of them having the utter audacity to not be interested in someone. | |||
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"Remember to say please and thank you for a consideration or a kindness? A lot of people have no idea of good manners? It's easier to just delete block and move on though, I'll bet there isn't a single woman in the forums who hasn't received an abusive message as a result of them having the utter audacity to not be interested in someone." This! | |||
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"I always very polite even when receiving rejection I always reply respectfully and kindly. Sad though that nowadays manners are very rare "Are they though? Personally I notice that most people are very well mannered and its rare outside of the internet to find someone who isn't . | |||
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"I always very polite even when receiving rejection I always reply respectfully and kindly. Sad though that nowadays manners are very rare "Do you mean people reply rudely? Or are you counting not replying as being rude automatically? | |||
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"An example. Ursula has contacted Peter, iniating the conversation, which goes along smoothly for a while, presumably mutually satisfactory otherwise it wouldn't have continued. Then discontinues/blocks the Fabs exchange with no reason given, is that good manners or something else, perhaps a display of power or dominance maybe?" Ursula contacted Peter first? If you're going to make an example at least make it a realistic one 
Seconding all the other ladies thay have already explained to you the plethora of reasons that the block button is often the cleanest and least risky method of ending contact with a total stranger. If the consequence is that I'm considered rude, it's a cross I'm willing to bear. | |||
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"An example. Ursula has contacted Peter, iniating the conversation, which goes along smoothly for a while, presumably mutually satisfactory otherwise it wouldn't have continued. Then discontinues/blocks the Fabs exchange with no reason given, is that good manners or something else, perhaps a display of power or dominance maybe? Ursula contacted Peter first? If you're going to make an example at least make it a realistic one
Seconding all the other ladies thay have already explained to you the plethora of reasons that the block button is often the cleanest and least risky method of ending contact with a total stranger. If the consequence is that I'm considered rude, it's a cross I'm willing to bear."Yep I'd rather be considered rude, by someone I've never met and most probably never will meet in future, then face a barage of abuse and threats! | |||
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