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Most embarrassing/amusing swing?

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

What's the most embarrassing/amusing incident you recall from a swing encounter?

I once agreed to meet a couple whereby I had only been sent photos of the ladies figure,ass and legs as a result of supposed shyness regarding facial pics.

As said photos were most agreeable I agreed to the meet which turned out to be arranged by the fella as a birthday present without the ladies knowledge.

Cum swing time (pardon the pun) we hook up and through the door strolls the fella hand in hand with erm birthday girl to meet moi her present.

"I'm Paul and this is Gina" proclaims said fella.

I've known a few Gina's throughout my life thus far and um this particular one happened to be a lady I'd taught at uni as recently as the previous summer

eeeeeeeeek!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was once going down on a lady when she farted, I take it as a compliment that she couldn't contain her excitement. Another occasion a lady shoved her fingers in my ears while going down on her, nowt as queer as folk. All part of life's rich tapestry and definitely all in the wank bank lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine was in park with grandson i i sat on it and fell off. Oh you meant different swing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not so much as embarressing or amusing ...but spoilt the moment so to speak......

We were having a mfm threesum , all going well , all enjoying ourselves , I was giving the invited guy oral whilst hubby was taking me doggy ......so theres hubby going for it almost at point of no return as he calls it lol ,

Next thing theres me coughing / wretching / gagging etc .....no the guy hadn't exploded in my mouth as hubby first thought , I quickly removed myself from them both , much to their obvious frustration and concern , I then had to remove my tongue stud to get a pube that had well n truly got wrapped around the tongue stud .

Yuck lol ,

Once removed said pube we soon got going again , but it did spoil the moment at the time lol

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

Well that's scoring double for amusement .

The incident is quirky in itself but the phrase " point of no return" is the golden nugget

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well that's scoring double for amusement .

The incident is quirky in itself but the phrase " point of no return" is the golden nugget "

Lol , well it wasn't funny for me at the time but funny to talk about after the fact lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seriously can't tell! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was with a guy in a hotel, we hadnt even got past the foreplay and to this day I dont know why it happened but he said to me that I was bleeding. Never happened before, totally put the kybosh on the meet. I was so embarrassed, didnt know what to say except to apologise profusely, he kept saying it was fine but not for me. saw gp had exam etc, nothing came back abnormal and hasnt happened since. hope not either, meant to be having meet tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My most amusing swinging moment.

At a club very recently, getting a little hot with a guy in a sauna, another guy comes in to watch, pours something on coals, next thing we see flames every where, guy set his body hair on fire, never seen someone jump in jacuzzi so quick before.

Thankfully guy wasnt seriously injured, but nicked named him (flaming) sambucha lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few years ago I was deep throating my ex, and I'd had a few drinks and he was very well hung, and well am sure you can guess where this story is going

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By *wo shades cplCouple
over a year ago

leeds

my v first meet years ago,i was really nervous so had a few vodkas before he came,was very relaxed until we started playing then Blurghhhhhhh I was sick all over him lol....he came bk for a few more meets after so all ended well

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

Scorpiogirl I guess that you can only put that down to an act of nature.

Any tale that begins with a large consumption of alcohol is destined to end in metaphorical tears.

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By *untimes6969Man
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Many many years ago, my girlfriend and I went back to her parent's house after a night out. Having had a few sherries we were both up for some fun, so we decided to get it on in the downstairs toilet.

I think it would be fair to say that we got a little carried away and when her mother knocked on the door to out horror, my girlfriend casually told her mother I wasn't feeling well!! I had to make myself sick, it was very convincing but she had a quiet word with her daughter the next day.

We had been nearly caught by her mother a few times!

As students we used to go to lots of parties and our party piece was always to have a shag at the venue!! Just imagine waiting in the queue for the loo as we're banging away lol

Happy days!

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

I pity the poor sods waiting outside the toilet legs crossed if you're a long stayer/repeater? lol

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford


"My most amusing swinging moment.

At a club very recently, getting a little hot with a guy in a sauna, another guy comes in to watch, pours something on coals, next thing we see flames every where, guy set his body hair on fire, never seen someone jump in jacuzzi so quick before.

Thankfully guy wasnt seriously injured, but nicked named him (flaming) sambucha lol"

That actually made me spit my tea out.

Thanks!

D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst swinging a few years back I agreed to meet a couple who lived local and were after some threesome action and for the missus to be centre if attention. The meet went well and all of us was well and truly satisfied. A few weeks later I'm sitting in my work place my manager walks in and introduces me to my new shift manager.... Was only the bloke from the couple I swung with a few weeks earlier.... Made for a very uncomfortable few months before he moved on lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was when my mum and dad rang the door bell and I realised THEY were the Bob and Eileen I'd arranged to meet.

No, actually that was just a horrible dream I had one night !

lol

xx

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

Horny fun71 that sounds like a potential future Ricky Gervais sketch scene re uncomfortable incidents .

Juxtaposition there's a legal angle to take on board with that one regardless of your morals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recently had a meet who despite great sex kept cumming after literally 5 mins we shagged 4 times! and the his pubic bone cracked apparently nothing to worry about happens all the time kinda put me off ESP as hubby was dying to laugh as I was getting frustrated lol

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

Cracking sounds happen.

If it snapped matters are a trifle more serious lol.

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

have embarrasses myself a few times actually with bacardi

I love a few drinks to help me relax and get me in the mood for a new guy coming to the house

BUT I tend to speak my mind when slightly merry which doesnt go down well if a guy has lied about the size of his knob or cant make me squirt when he says he can

I try to be polite but cant always hold my tongue

maybe i should stop bacardi what dya think....hiccup

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cracking sounds happen.

If it snapped matters are a trifle more serious lol."

Yea I'd say so lol!!

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

Fun lovers any tale that begins with a "few Bacardi's" is heading for a stumble as indeed are you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex was a very good lover and we used to experiment lots, we were playing one day and he had put a butt plug in my ass and was licking and playing with my pussy. The orgasms he used to give me were out of this world.....hence i came like a steam train and the spasms i had sucked up the butt plug lol.....it has a small base but apparently not big enough under extreme orgasms lol...

Swift visit to the loo and thank f.... i got it out....so funny but also so scary, can imagine going to A & E

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Hey most of our meets have been brilliant and all involve bacardi or whatever they bring

lol

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a MMF threesome with a married couple a few years ago, all was going well as I having sex with the woman when I could feel my balls being played with, I was enjoying it until I realised that both her hands were around my neck! I looked 'round to spot her husband fiddling my scrotum with his hairy

sausage fingers

They failed to tell me it was a bi threesome. Little heads up would've been nice!

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

Fun lovers is there any direct relationship between consumed drink quantity and attractiveness of visitor? hee! hee!.

Curvy girl I have a friend who works in A+E and they have had a large increase in what staff refer to as "fifty shades" incidents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being caught by police in a derelict house ... They were expecting a couple of druggies as well know spot apparently .. They were laughing so hard when they saw 2 middle aged , half dressed peeps emerge, thankfully didn't get booked

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By *uestandpinkCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Had a MMF threesome with a married couple a few years ago, all was going well as I having sex with the woman when I could feel my balls being played with, I was enjoying it until I realised that both her hands were around my neck! I looked 'round to spot her husband fiddling my scrotum with his hairy

sausage fingers

They failed to tell me it was a bi threesome. Little heads up would've been nice!"

That bloody frightenin as a few closets on hete too!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funniest thread I've seen in ages, hope none of these things never happen to me, cringe!

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre


"Recently had a meet who despite great sex kept cumming after literally 5 mins we shagged 4 times! and the his pubic bone cracked apparently nothing to worry about happens all the time kinda put me off ESP as hubby was dying to laugh as I was getting frustrated lol "

So that was a 20min shag then! Lol sweet..

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By *obinhood-maidmarionCouple
over a year ago

North Notts

our worst meet ever was about a year ago, the missus had been out with her mates one night when she txt me about 11.30 to say the taxi was coming at 12. she said she was horny and wanted me to find her a total stranger from fab for her to fuck when she got home.

The only stipulation was he had to be under 25.

so with only half hour or so to arrange i frantically messaged a few local guys, one replied and said he would happily join. he had no pics so it was a bit of a risk but in the heat of battle i punted on giving it a go.

He txt me to say he would be there at 12 ish and i was to give him instructions etc when he arrived, the missus came home about 12 and there was no sign of our guest. we figured he had bottled it so got down to naughties upstairs. 5 mins later we got a knock at the door, knowing it was our guest i sent marion down naked to answer the door, i told her to get started downstairs and i would follow.

so ten mins later i hear a few noises, i walk into the room stark bollack naked to see my missus mounted upon my cricket captain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Visited a well known club just off the M1.

Having group fun on a very large bed with the Mrs,2 females joined in both dressed in PVC nurses outfits.

After quite a long session we retired to the bar and were enjoying a drink and chatting.

One of the ladies in uniform came up and just said "me and my daughter would just like to say thank you for a great time"

After wiping down the beer spattered bar, we made out excuses and vanished into the depths of the club.

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

robinhood that's a classic.

Did the captain declare and have you following on?

robbo I wonder if they were bonafide nurses?

N.H.S nepotism ?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

A friend of ours had recently had her tongue pierced, the swelling had gone down but she hadn't yet changed the bar for a shorter one, and it got tangled up with my PA. Debs was no help as she couldn't stop laughing

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

Ouchie! Steve and suspect sensitivity from Debs hee!! hee!!

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I got my own back a couple of months later. Debs had just had a clit hood piercing and we were playing with a violet wand (her first time) and she said 'I wonder what it would feel like on my piercing?'

We had to scrape her off the ceiling

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

It's the little touches of consideration in a relationship that make it what it is eh Steve?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a couple I was friends with and used to fuck the wife with the hubbys consent people were telling me he was a tv but silly me didn't believe them anyway I am riding a finish with the wife and he enters the room wearing a babydoll and his longhair in plaits (bear in mind he is the very double of lemmy out of motorhead complete with beard warts etc it took me aback but I kept on riding his wife then he hit me with it in a gruff voice he said well what do you think ? embarrassed I said very nice lol

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

Any rendition of "ace of spades" when he was wearing said attire?

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By *ause and EffectCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

We have many a 'horror' story (and not that many meets!) the most vile being her naked and thrown up on by other lady. Most shocking was that even the vomit didn't put her hubby off trying to continue playing with mrs C&E!!! Ew!!!

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

That's just sick C+E um literally.

Have yet to observe Taz in that blue dress meandering around West quay.

No complaints should it ever happen

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By *ause and EffectCouple
over a year ago

Southampton


"That's just sick C+E um literally.

Have yet to observe Taz in that blue dress meandering around West quay.

No complaints should it ever happen "

Thanks you won't find me there too often, I'm one of those odd women who don't enjoy shopping too much!

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP   Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

You're more than welcome Taz as lovely pics and profile.

An internet shopper be you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

several years ago it was the second man i had met. i got friendly with him he was a widow and 20 years older than me.

he invited me to stay with him in his caravan.

when i met him i was surprised at how old he looked.

when we got into bed i noticed he had a tiny soft willy.

then he said he would take a viagra tablet which he did then he put the telly on and said oh its johnathon ross.

I thought maybe he was a bit tired as he said he was up early, been traveling

and said he was so nervous he had been smoking all the time he was driving down to see me.

the next day i knew we werent compatible

but for some stupid reason i thought i should stay.

he took me out for the day bought me a meal, then when we got back he said he would take another viagra tablet which he did, then he said, oh theres a good film i want to watch, which he did.

and totaly ignored me for the rest of the evening.

also he hadnt told me, he had health problems only one lung also and was on lots of tablets.

before i met him he liked to tell me how good he was, thats not why i met him though.

since meeting a lot more people on various sites i have become a bit wiser now though, just a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not my story, but still amusing none the less. A few years ago my bro was a junior doctor doing his stint training in a&e when in walks a young lad with his mother. Many embarrassing moments passed in triage before said teenager admitted his new love had been sucking his cock for the first time when the brace on her teeth had become dislodged, piercing his foreskin, and was currently still attached hence the trip I hospital!

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

My first experience of a man not warning me before he prematurely came in mouth. He came without warning me. I gagged and hurled all over him. Am still not happy to allow a man to cum in my mouth.

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By *oofyCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

These incidents are all very amusing but I dont think they can beat mine , when I posted a story headed "Lead bal!!loon meeting"!!!!

I still get a embarrasing feeling when I think about what happened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know how true this story is but I was told a young lady went into a dark room , had some fun with peeps in there , came out and then whilst chatting noticed her dad came out of dark room as well

Seriously disturbing !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know how true this story is but I was told a young lady went into a dark room , had some fun with peeps in there , came out and then whilst chatting noticed her dad came out of dark room as well

Seriously disturbing !!"

That's horrid!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We heard that as well from somebody who was apparently there that evening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first meet with a single lady.

In washing machine terms we were on the final spin if you know what I mean... the next thing we knew the bed had dismantled itself and we were both on the floor (still connected).

Cue: loads of giggles, but we did finish the job off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ours is not an amusing, actually why we had a break from swinging

Picture the scene. We were entertaining a couple at our home. We went to our bedroom to play. Swopped partners. John playing with lady who was laid on her back being fingered. I ended up being fucked from behind. Looked over at other lady and noticed an odd mark underneath where she was laying. My face made John look. He asked if she was bleeding. When she got up, she had messed herself. She proceeded to the toilet where she must have had a little wipe and came and lay straight back down again to resume play. It was only a little wipe though because when she got up again there were further marks on the fresh towel that had been put down. Play stopped. We were emarrassed , they weren't. Ended up binning a nice duvet throw, a towel and a quilt over the mess.

Put us off play for a little while

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Ours is not an amusing, actually why we had a break from swinging

Picture the scene. We were entertaining a couple at our home. We went to our bedroom to play. Swopped partners. John playing with lady who was laid on her back being fingered. I ended up being fucked from behind. Looked over at other lady and noticed an odd mark underneath where she was laying. My face made John look. He asked if she was bleeding. When she got up, she had messed herself. She proceeded to the toilet where she must have had a little wipe and came and lay straight back down again to resume play. It was only a little wipe though because when she got up again there were further marks on the fresh towel that had been put down. Play stopped. We were emarrassed , they weren't. Ended up binning a nice duvet throw, a towel and a quilt over the mess.

Put us off play for a little while "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shocker isn't it! I was so repulsed I wouldn't even let John play with me for a good week. Emotionally scarred

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By *encplnptonCouple
over a year ago

northampton

no verification from them then!

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