FabSwingers.com forum: Do You Prefer the Chase or the Action? Let’s Talk Meets!

By *antasticMrFucks07 OP Man
15 weeks ago

plymouth

I’m curious to hear everyone’s thoughts on meet preferences in the swinging scene. Do you prefer a more spontaneous approach—meeting with minimal prior connection and jumping straight into the fun? Or do you enjoy the build-up, flirting, and getting to know someone before meeting?

For me, the anticipation and chemistry that come from chatting and flirting beforehand make the experience more exciting. I know others prefer a more direct, no-strings-attached approach where the connection isn’t as important as the experience itself and I guess they both have their place.

Also how this differs between club meets and private meets. Clubs often allow for more spontaneous encounters, where people can vibe in the moment and see what happens. Private meets, on the other hand, tend to involve more pre-meet communication and planning. Do you approach them differently, or do you stick to the same style regardless?

What’s your preference? Does the build-up make the experience better, or do you enjoy the thrill of spontaneity?

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By *andPextraCouple
15 weeks ago

North West

Never do spontaneous from here, prefer to get to know people as people first before i consider getting naked.

Make a point of saying “no short notice meets” on profile, still get lots of “free later” type things. Must work for some.

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By *antasticMrFucks07 OP Man
15 weeks ago

plymouth

"Never do spontaneous from here, prefer to get to know people as people first before i consider getting naked.

Make a point of saying “no short notice meets” on profile, still get lots of “free later” type things. Must work for some. "

Do you ever vent to clubs and if so does that change the opinion?

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By *parkle1974Woman
15 weeks ago

Leeds

I never have and never will do spontaneous meets.

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By *eroLondonMan
15 weeks ago

Mayfair

I would say 80%+ of all my dates, socials and dalliances have been on the back of women messaging first. It's never been spontaneous, indeed it's through protracted messaging over weeks and weeks, months typically and, once or twice, after a year or so.

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

We would need some social chat first and ideally a social meet first tho we’d be happy to meet up in a hotel bar before going to the room . Especially for meeting people a bit further away but again we’d need some social online or phone chat first

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By *andPextraCouple
15 weeks ago

North West

"Never do spontaneous from here, prefer to get to know people as people first before i consider getting naked.

Make a point of saying “no short notice meets” on profile, still get lots of “free later” type things. Must work for some.

Do you ever vent to clubs and if so does that change the opinion? "

We do and not really; we go to clubs fir the voyeuristic element

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By *am4sinMan
15 weeks ago

Mansfield

I personally hate the chase. Iv never had the confidence to just chat women up. Even on here I very rearly message anyone first.

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By *iFruityCoupleCouple
15 weeks ago

Watermouth

We met and were on a bed in 5 mins, but we do need to arrange meets now, so it make sense to get to know someone while a week or two passes, but we are after action.

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By *erity888Woman
15 weeks ago

bridgend

Depends on mood

Have done both

But I am a chatterbox and love flattery

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By *each needs some creamWoman
15 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

I don't like the endless messages, I much prefer getting get straight down to the action.

After all this is a sex site not a dating site.

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By *pontaneous_coupleCouple
15 weeks ago

Hoddesdon

Used to be quite quick to meet (obviously not just everyone) but then realised it should be quality over quantity and you can be more choosy with meeting people who are more your cup of tea x

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By *issmorganWoman
15 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I'm not into spontaneous meets at all, I prefer to build a connection & meet when it feels right for me.

I have been to clubs, but only with my partner and we arranged to meet people there that we already knew.

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By *antasticMrFucks07 OP Man
15 weeks ago

plymouth

"I don't like the endless messages, I much prefer getting get straight down to the action.

After all this is a sex site not a dating site. "

I disagree with that as it’s ment to be a swingers site🤷‍♂️

I agree that sex is a very big core part of it however I don’t agree it’s just sex, it’s a lifestyle

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By *rKingsmanMan
15 weeks ago

sutton

I used to get quite a few meets off here from women and couples… not had anything for a while now 🤷🏻‍♂️

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By *assySirenWoman
15 weeks ago

near you

Oh I'm definitely a connection person, spontaneous meets don't appeal to me at all. The connection I had at the start and still have with my FWB makes our meets that much better 😈

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By *ucka39Man
15 weeks ago

Newcastle

Mutual understanding/balance and if the connection and attraction is there anything is possible

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By *ruitysparkleWoman
15 weeks ago

Alnwick

I like the thrill of a spontaneous meet and it's all well and good until you encounter the no shows. It has certainly made me re evaluate wgat I want from meets and I want the connection that comes from getting to know someone and not act on lust lol

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By *igad999Man
15 weeks ago

wolverhampton

Depends on the situation

We are very much go with the mood and flow as opposed to planning things

Sometimes if me and wife are out or somewhere with people things will steer a certain way and she will get turned on

Then it’s spontaneous

But also the chase build up chat teasing and excitement can be amazing too and leads to a lot of fun between me and her in the lead up to anything

But as said nearly all things we do is based on the moment

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By *eyond PurityCouple
15 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Mainly it’s about getting the connection with someone and building up the heat before meeting for a social.

However there has been a time whilst away that we put a meet up and someone got in touch and we sent a few messages back and forth and then I met them in the hotel bar and we chatted more and I knew C would fancy him.

He was an Italian gent, very charming and it was one of C’s fantasies to have an all Italian talking meet, as she’s fluent and I didn’t open my mouth 😋 It worked perfectly so it can work but I think we were lucky.

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By *lice AgainTV/TS
15 weeks ago

Bristol

Urgh, the chase.

Meet, bit of a chat, fuck, bit more of a chat and then if you like them put them on your list.

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

I think the Chase I better, Bradley Walsh is great at asking the questions, but that said I've never seen the Action, what channel is that on?

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 13/03/25 23:23:29]

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By *entleman JayMan
15 weeks ago

Wakefield

Only ever had three spontaneous meets. By that I mean very short notice. I’d say those three were about the worst ones I’ve had.

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By *hil most chillMan
15 weeks ago

London, South East & Europe

I prefer the action, because often the chase can lead to nothing. I'm experienced enough to know that nothing is guaranteed here, no matter how keen she appears to be

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By *clecpleCouple
15 weeks ago

Newcastle

The build up to a meet. That is days away is so horny. It drains me tbh as I've a hard on for days thinking about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

"I don't like the endless messages, I much prefer getting get straight down to the action.

After all this is a sex site not a dating site. "
yeah but some people won’t just fuck anyone

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By *antasticMrFucks07 OP Man
15 weeks ago

plymouth

Really interesting comments so far! It seems the general consensus is that most people still enjoy the flirtation and build-up. So does that mean Fab is more of a swingers’ site than just a sex site after all? 🤷‍♂️

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By *issmorganWoman
15 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

"Really interesting comments so far! It seems the general consensus is that most people still enjoy the flirtation and build-up. So does that mean Fab is more of a swingers’ site than just a sex site after all? 🤷‍♂️"

It is to me, but some use it differently.

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By *avelovescouplesMan
15 weeks ago

wolverhampton

The chase is existing but the meet is a mixture of 1st nerves and once you break the ice it’s fantastic

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
15 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Always has been in my mind. But others are free to use the site as they choose of course.

The attitude to whether it's a 'fuck site' or a swingers site has always been a useful filter for me.

I don't need a random hook up to provide sex or fill a need. It's too mechanical. The only time I've not had plenty of pre meet conversation and/or social interaction is when meeting others at clubs with one of my partners. But even then there's chat and a social element first.

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By *each needs some creamWoman
15 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

"I don't like the endless messages, I much prefer getting get straight down to the action.

After all this is a sex site not a dating site.

I disagree with that as it’s ment to be a swingers site🤷‍♂️

I agree that sex is a very big core part of it however I don’t agree it’s just sex, it’s a lifestyle "

I disagree with that as if you look up the definition of swinging it says it's about meeting up for sex.

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By *each needs some creamWoman
15 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

Fab used to be a swinging site, but with all the endless messages/socials it's become a dating site.

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By *antasticMrFucks07 OP Man
15 weeks ago

plymouth

I get what you’re saying, but I don’t fully agree. Yeah, if you go by the definition, swinging is technically about meeting for sex, but in reality, it’s so much more than that.

For a lot of people, it’s about the connections, the build-up, and the whole experience—not just the end result. If it was purely about sex, there wouldn’t be such a big focus on flirting, social meets, and chemistry. Plenty of swingers enjoy the anticipation just as much as (or even more than) the act itself.

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

"I get what you’re saying, but I don’t fully agree. Yeah, if you go by the definition, swinging is technically about meeting for sex, but in reality, it’s so much more than that.

That’s why I wouldn’t call Fab just a sex site. If it was, people wouldn’t bother with all the chatting, the club nights, or the effort that goes into actually meeting the right people. Swinging might include sex, but it’s definitely not just about that."
everything evolves years ago it probably was just about sex because it was very difficult to socialise about it now is completely different it’s incredibly easy to be social about it now . But I get that people who’ve been in it for a long time might not like the change

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By *poolGuyMan
15 weeks ago

Liverpool

Have done the quick meets and the messing and social first too.

Messaging/chat followed by social is always good, can tell if someone has any humour and sets the chemistry and flirting.

But finding it's very quiet on here nowadays, no decent chats even.

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By *ynamicnatureMan
15 weeks ago

Doncaster

I enjoy both😁🌈

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By *antasticMrFucks07 OP Man
15 weeks ago

plymouth

"I enjoy both😁🌈"

Ok you win 😂🤣

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By *ickandHilaryCouple
15 weeks ago

Barnstaple

"I’m curious to hear everyone’s thoughts on meet preferences in the swinging scene. Do you prefer a more spontaneous approach—meeting with minimal prior connection and jumping straight into the fun? Or do you enjoy the build-up, flirting, and getting to know someone before meeting?

What’s your preference? Does the build-up make the experience better, or do you enjoy the thrill of spontaneity? "

Instant chemistry at a club….cant beat it

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By *each needs some creamWoman
13 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

I just find it boring and I lose interest with loads of messages back and forth.

After all what is there really to talk about that can't be said in the first few messages. After that meet up fuck and if you enjoy then maybe get to know each other a bit better.

There are some guys I have been meeting for over 10 years and I know what they enjoy in the bedroom but couldn't tell you anything about them.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
13 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

When I was in the game, the chase. I love being in the absolute minority and having to put the hard yards in.

Even harder yards as I am extremely fussy and would generally be unlikely to send a first message. Sounds tough? Yeah, but I love it like that.

I would honestly not like to be a woman on here and getting my inbox absolutely smashed, having to block delete en mass. That cannot be fun at all.

The fuckery is always great. Why? Because being fussy, hopefully filters out the ones that wouldn't be compatible anyway.

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By *ergus1622Man
13 weeks ago

Dundee

I think they are as good as each other. The build up is fun and sets up a meet, it also let's you get to know the other person a little more.

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By *urves and MischiefWoman
13 weeks ago

North West. Sometimes London/Cambridge

Spontaneity has its place but for me in the world of Fab, I like to get to know someone first. A connection is important and I love the excitement and build of getting to know one another a little better and the teasing and desire before you meet.

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
13 weeks ago

South Wales

I love the spontaneity of club meets, the right person and the right atmosphere can often lead to a great time. 😄

I treat fab meets quite differently though, I’m much more wary and prefer to chat for a while before meeting and mostly it’s a social first just to make sure they are as they’ve portrayed themselves xx

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