FabSwingers.com forum: Thank you but no thankyou

By *ilverfox for you OP Man
19 hours ago

Hull

Why is it so difficult for people to respond saying this ! Some are so aggressive ! Anyone else finding this ?

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
19 hours ago

your head

Because no one owes anyone a reply 🙄

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By *iguysolihullMan
19 hours ago

Sutton Coldfield

Manners cost nothing! Agree with you og

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By *eri24Woman
19 hours ago

Bridgend

Replying thanks but no usually results in a barrage of abuse in my experience

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By *ooLou89Woman
19 hours ago

Nottinghamshire

"Because no one owes anyone a reply 🙄"

This 👌🏼 and from what I know most females would have to do so 100 times a day 🤦🏼‍♀️

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By *GoodGirlGemxCouple
19 hours ago

Glasgow

"Replying thanks but no usually results in a barrage of abuse in my experience "

This or else never ending requests to explain why or attempts to convince you why you’re wrong in saying no 🫤

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By *oxy jWoman
18 hours ago

somerset

entitalment is not attractive .. no one owes you or anyone else anything ..

for me if im not interested then its a str8 block that way i dont get anymore abuse of course those im interested in will get a reply even if its rare as most i find no attraction with 99.99% of the time

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
18 hours ago

Manchester

Because some people can't take no for an answer

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By *ooLou89Woman
18 hours ago

Nottinghamshire

"entitalment is not attractive .. no one owes you or anyone else anything ..

Exactly this. The entitlement, and inability to accept polite rejection without following up with abuse, with or without a reply it still happens 🙃😂

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By *he milk tray manMan
18 hours ago

around

"Because no one owes anyone a reply 🙄

This 👌🏼 and from what I know most females would have to do so 100 times a day 🤦🏼‍♀️"

And life is too short to do the above.

Take the L and move on, can’t be everyone’s type

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By *elloWoman
18 hours ago

alpha centauri

"Why is it so difficult for people to respond saying this ! Some are so aggressive ! Anyone else finding this ?"

If the person asked you to message them and then ignored you, then yeah that's rude.

However, if you've decided to 'cold call' the profile with a message and they ignore you then that is fine. (What's a message equivalent of a cold call ? Junk mail? Or is that just for post. Oh is it just spam! Yes I think it's spam)

Yes ignoring a spam message is considered by most to be socially acceptable, there's no way I'm replying to all those takeaway establishments that shove their info through my slot

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
18 hours ago

Manchester(ish).

Because its the difference between sexy baby and miserable old cnut in 4 words.

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan
18 hours ago

belfast

Another whinger. It's getting boring the amount of arseholes who believe they're entitled to a reply for their unsolicited message.

Stop whining and get a life.

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By *erICorknowCouple
18 hours ago

cork

It’s pretty poor that people act out side of this! Why be aggressive and pushy!

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By *oldyoudown41Man
18 hours ago

caledonian

Why don’t ladies just delete instead of reading and not replying…. Never understood this

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By *DKartelMan
18 hours ago

The High Castle

"Why is it so difficult for people to respond saying this ! Some are so aggressive ! Anyone else finding this ?"

I've had a few that have said that, but no reply is in itself a reply on here

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By *aughty Hubby n Sexy WifeCouple
18 hours ago

Scarborogh

"Why is it so difficult for people to respond saying this ! Some are so aggressive ! Anyone else finding this ?"

Too many nasty replies for when we reply nicely. So we tend not to rely just delete.

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By *isskxxyvWoman
18 hours ago

Manchester

Do you know how much time it would take to copy and paste no thanks to over 1000 people. It’s not rude, I think you expect too much

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By *oldyoudown41Man
18 hours ago

caledonian

"Do you know how much time it would take to copy and paste no thanks to over 1000 people. It’s not rude, I think you expect too much

Just delete…

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By *isskxxyvWoman
18 hours ago

Manchester

But most of the time before you read a message you have no idea whether you’ll fancy them?

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By *andPextraCouple
18 hours ago

North West

"Why don’t ladies just delete instead of reading and not replying…. Never understood this

I do this. And regularly get a snotty one back. Three today. I don't block single males for the forums, but can't win with messages,

polite reply. Still get hassled. Say no thanks or delete. Get called all sorts.

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By *elly and daveCouple
18 hours ago

gateshead

"Another whinger. It's getting boring the amount of arseholes who believe they're entitled to a reply for their unsolicited message.

Stop whining and get a life."

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By *annyandwalterCouple
18 hours ago

south London

She gets a butt load of messages, ( it's a tit based thing!). We reply to those that aren't totally aggressive/rude

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By *oldyoudown41Man
18 hours ago

caledonian

"Why don’t ladies just delete instead of reading and not replying…. Never understood this

I do this. And regularly get a snotty one back. Three today. I don't block single males for the forums, but can't win with messages,

polite reply. Still get hassled. Say no thanks or delete. Get called all sorts. "

I can understand why get so many texts, but why ladies open texts and not reply.. if not interested delete or block ..

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By *ull_circleWoman
18 hours ago

Brighton

I've said no thankyou and get people calling me names or asking for explanations. It's an implied no if you don't get a response, and that is a complete answer. I can't believe the entitlement of people getting the arse about not getting a reply to an unsolicited message. It's nice of people to raise their red flag for me though and confirm that I was right not to reply

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By *eroLondonMan
18 hours ago

Mayfair

Quite right, OP. These foul and fetid women, leading us nescient men into a merry dance and a quick-step along the boulevard of false hope and futile expectations. We write them heartfelt missives, romantic letters and lustful poems and they give us the silent treatment without a second thought.

The wenches.

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By *elloWoman
18 hours ago

alpha centauri

Do men send a message and then monitor their sent messages to see if the message has been opened and ignored/deleted/left unread /left on read?

That can be good for your mental health, send a message and either ignore your sent messages or delete your sent messages.

if you get a reply, yay that's great. If you don't get a reply , you might not remember who you sent the message to anyway so who cares

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By *andPextraCouple
18 hours ago

North West

That's my point

I do delete them.

Which should be quite clear I'm not interested.

But I then either get follow up messages or get called (heres a recent list after deleting- rat, stuck up cunt, and ugly slag)

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By *igboobstCouple
18 hours ago

barrow

Its easier to just a delete the message seems rude but the amount of times we said no thanks before it's resulted in more messages is unreal. So now it's just a delete job

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By *ooLou89Woman
17 hours ago

Nottinghamshire

"Do men send a message and then monitor their sent messages to see if the message has been opened and ignored/deleted/left unread /left on read?

That can be good for your mental health, send a message and either ignore your sent messages or delete your sent messages.

if you get a reply, yay that's great. If you don't get a reply , you might not remember who you sent the message to anyway so who cares"

I wonder this too.. coz some be sooooo quick to hurl abuse after thier message is deleted too, like was you sat watching and waiting sir?? 😅🙈

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By *ull_circleWoman
17 hours ago

Brighton

"Why don’t ladies just delete instead of reading and not replying…. Never understood this

I do this. And regularly get a snotty one back. Three today. I don't block single males for the forums, but can't win with messages,

polite reply. Still get hassled. Say no thanks or delete. Get called all sorts.

I can understand why get so many texts, but why ladies open texts and not reply.. if not interested delete or block .. "

How are we supposed to know if we're interested if we don't open messages?

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By *oldyoudown41Man
17 hours ago

caledonian

"Do men send a message and then monitor their sent messages to see if the message has been opened and ignored/deleted/left unread /left on read?

That can be good for your mental health, send a message and either ignore your sent messages or delete your sent messages.

if you get a reply, yay that's great. If you don't get a reply , you might not remember who you sent the message to anyway so who cares

I wonder this too.. coz some be sooooo quick to hurl abuse after thier message is deleted too, like was you sat watching and waiting sir?? 😅🙈"

But then we are all painted with the same brush.. sorry for this on behalf of these clowns .. x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
17 hours ago

Central

People should be respectful and this includes whether or not there's interest

Report abusive people OP.

And acquaint yourself with the rule no reply = no thanks. It might include a block to prevent time wasting when not matched

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By *ansexualPandaMan
17 hours ago

cumallover

No reply is a reply. If you have a problem with that, it's your problem. You don't know how many messages some people get. You don't know the abuse you'll often get for replying "no thanks". If you don't get a reply, get over it.

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By *end1Man
17 hours ago

southend on sea

In my opinion all this could be stopped if fab had a way of let's say a guy who messages a profile can only send a second once he has had a reply back therefore indicating that the other party is interested! It would cutout abuse from the rejected person etc.

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By *udamet666Woman
17 hours ago

Kilbirnie

"Replying thanks but no usually results in a barrage of abuse in my experience "

Totally agree, so I just don't bother replying. They dkn't read the profile anyway.

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By *ooLou89Woman
17 hours ago

Nottinghamshire

"Do men send a message and then monitor their sent messages to see if the message has been opened and ignored/deleted/left unread /left on read?

That can be good for your mental health, send a message and either ignore your sent messages or delete your sent messages.

if you get a reply, yay that's great. If you don't get a reply , you might not remember who you sent the message to anyway so who cares

I wonder this too.. coz some be sooooo quick to hurl abuse after thier message is deleted too, like was you sat watching and waiting sir?? 😅🙈

But then we are all painted with the same brush.. sorry for this on behalf of these clowns .. x"

Well I don’t think anyone is saying it’s all of you. But it’s a vast majority. And the point is, no one is owed anything here from anyone. Allow people to mange thier messages as they see fit. Delete, left on read, whatever they wish without being moaned at or receiving abuse.. let’s be mature about it 🤷🏼‍♀️

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By *tlanshiaWoman
16 hours ago

Chatham

I call the phenomenon shrodingers woman.

This is where the women is simultaneously hot and ugly, depending upon the answer to the message lol.

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By *WANDTGCouple
16 hours ago

Borough of Greenwich

We reply " sorry not for us, Good luck "

Then get hit with , why , plus another 5 questions. So we can see why people refuse to reply.

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By *r TriomanMan
16 hours ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

This my take on it OP; when I get fliers through my letter box offering all types of products / services, I don't message each and every one saying "thanks but no thanks, I just ignore them and, guess what? They never complain that I'm rude or ignorant.

Why should Fab be any different? Fire and forget; send your message and then delete it, don't track it, don't send loads more, don't complain in the forums, just move on.

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By *uzzleMan
16 hours ago

Hastings

I know women get inundated with messages but I don't think a 'no thank you' to messages is warranted.

Contary to what seems to have become Fab 'law', a no response to a message isn't a response!

I think if women were to respond with a no thank you, some wouldn't take no for an answer, they'd consider that 'contact' and continue messaging etc.

I think the easiest way to deal with this issue is to simply have a disclaimer on your profile, along the lines of:

"If you send a message which I don't respond to or delete, its simply because you're not what I'm looking for".

I don't think anything more is needed and this is a very succinct way of dealing with the issue.

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By *eroLondonMan
15 hours ago

Mayfair

"But then we are all painted with the same brush.. sorry for this on behalf of these clowns .. x"

Why are you apologising??

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By *inks_apeyCouple
15 hours ago

Staffordshire

https://m.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ#noreply

Its often just not worth the hassle it ends up in to reply, we mostly do, but at times, especially if had message of someone multiples times, then we don't.

But like the FAQ says,

It's not rude not to reply.

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By *ucka39Man
15 hours ago

Newcastle

I don't want a no thank you I receive plenty of thanks or thank you through the day

Imagine the bus driver each person says thank you but no thanks I'll walk next time 🤣😂

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By *chuperbshmugs71Couple
15 hours ago

Glasgow

We just delete and block who we ain't interested in. Takes way too much time to reply to a ton of horny men. Most don't even read our profile.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
15 hours ago

Essex

After 2 years I’ve just had my first abusive reply from me politely saying no thank you.

It was actually quite upsetting. Totally uncalled for.

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By *samyhotwifeWoman
13 hours ago

Dublin

"Why is it so difficult for people to respond saying this ! Some are so aggressive ! Anyone else finding this ?"

Why is it so difficult for people to actually read someone's profile and respect that they don't want you to message them unless you meet the requirements on their profile?

Also, do you reply to every letter or spam email that gets sent to you saying "Thank you but no thank you" ? The answer is no you don't, because they don't appeal to you.

A complete stranger thinking that they're owed a reply from a person, or that the person should perform an action, such as deleting the mail, because it's the outcome that you desire is a major red flag and a worrying mindset.

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By *londebiguyMan
12 hours ago

Southport

"Because no one owes anyone a reply 🙄"

On here, the entitlement and rudeness seems to accepted.

Good manners are really quite basic and simple to use.

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By *londebiguyMan
12 hours ago

Southport

"After 2 years I’ve just had my first abusive reply from me politely saying no thank you.

It was actually quite upsetting. Totally uncalled for.

Very definitely no excuse for abuse at all.

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By *ot_spicedCouple
11 hours ago

Queenstown

Usually a "thanks but no thanks" isn't viewed that way.

It seem a reply means a level of interest, so a dozen more messages arrive, and it all gets out of hand.

If it's on a day with an over abundance of messages already, it becomes a problem.

For us it's....ignore, then delete a day or two after

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By *ustforfun1759Couple
11 hours ago

IRVINE

Manners cost nothing jumps too mind mrs

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By *eyond PurityCouple
11 hours ago

York

It’s not about manners, it’s about people reading our profile.

We state we don’t reply to blank/bland profiles and profiles with cock pics/action shots and yet people fitting the above still message us. People out of our age range message as they believe they will be the exception.

So they are instantly deleted. We are here for fun - not wasting time on messages of people who don’t read profiles.

As the rules say, no reply is a reply.

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By *eyeYCouple
9 hours ago

Nr Leicester

"It’s not about manners, it’s about people reading our profile.

So they are instantly deleted. We are here for fun - not wasting time on messages of people who don’t read profiles.

As the rules say, no reply is a reply.

Absolutely! The "Hi xx" messages with a crap bio a close up picture of his cock or her boobs..

Just bloody tiring, did respond ages ago mirroring the same effort but now straight delete.

Occasionally have that 'might have found them attractive thought' but..

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By *i_alternative_coupleCouple
8 hours ago

cradley

Yeah no one owes you a reply we literally put on our profile please take no reply as a polite no.

Yet we still get people sending 5 unanswered messages I admit sometimes I will reply with something like 'yes we weren't interested after 4 messages but the 5th has totally changed our minds' 🤣

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
7 hours ago

Bristol

Entirely depends on the type of message that has been received before it.

If it was a polite, well worded message from someone who has taken the time to read our profile first then they will get a polite answer back.

One word/one liners/rude/unsolicited dick pics/messages that act as though it's only Mr or Mrs that exists will get a response back in line with what was received, or not at all. Same with those who do not take a polite no for an answer.

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By *hil most chillMan
7 hours ago

South East & Europe

I'd rather get no reply than have my time wasted with a "no thanks". Why do sensitive men on here get so upset that women don't apologise profusely for not wanting them? Sad!

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By *ueerKinkyCoupleCouple
6 hours ago

Cambridge (She/They And They/Them)

"I call the phenomenon shrodingers woman.

This is where the women is simultaneously hot and ugly, depending upon the answer to the message lol. "

This is brilliant.

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By *kus2Couple
4 hours ago

west malling

Thats sad.

Every time we get a thanks but no thanks, i alway reply saying thanks for being polite and to have fun

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By *londebiguyMan
4 hours ago

Southport

"I'd rather get no reply than have my time wasted with a "no thanks". Why do sensitive men on here get so upset that women don't apologise profusely for not wanting them? Sad!"

Why would a no thanks reply be wasting your time?

They're telling you they will not waste your time.

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By *elly and daveCouple
4 hours ago

gateshead

One guy (who shall remain nameless) has sent 5 winks and 5 friend invites over the space of 2 weeks. Ended up blocking him, seems he must have skin as thick as a rhinonosapus.

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
4 hours ago

Bristol

"Sorry, you aren't what we are looking for"

Response "what are you looking for then?"

"Not you, take the hint". Also not interested in you telling us you 'can be' what we want...

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By *issmorganWoman
3 hours ago

Calderdale innit

Because some women get loads of messages and don't have time to reply with no ta, to them all.

Also a no thanks can lead to abuse or more questions like why not, what's wrong with me etc.

Just delete any messages you send from your outbox and any replies will be a nice suprise.

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By *issmorganWoman
3 hours ago

Calderdale innit

""Sorry, you aren't what we are looking for"

Response "what are you looking for then?"

"Not you, take the hint". Also not interested in you telling us you 'can be' what we want..."

Or thanks but no thanks

Then :why not, what's wrong with me?.

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By *orny entitiesCouple
3 hours ago

bawtry

""Sorry, you aren't what we are looking for"

Response "what are you looking for then?"

"Not you, take the hint". Also not interested in you telling us you 'can be' what we want...

Or thanks but no thanks

Then :why not, what's wrong with me?."

Yep, we get that

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
3 hours ago

After the typing no thanks a thousand times it gets very repetitive

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By *enatton2Couple
2 hours ago

West Midlands

"Why is it so difficult for people to respond saying this ! Some are so aggressive ! Anyone else finding this ?"

We respond with this to most messages we receive, the ones who don’t get a reply probably said something we didn’t appreciate or sent a one word message.

One problem we have noticed with a “thanks but no sorry” reply is sometimes this results in a “why not?” Or “what’s wrong with me?” follow up and sometimes even a rude comeback.

We’ll still always try to reply though as we don’t think it’s too much trouble to be polite.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
2 hours ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Why is it so difficult for people to respond saying this ! Some are so aggressive ! Anyone else finding this ?"

Because there aren't enough hours in the day to respond to the endless 'hi' one word messages we get on the couples account, or the frequent message I get from men asking to meet?

The bigger question is this.

Why is it so difficult for people to read a profile you've constructed that give clues as to why they're 100% not compatible, when if they did, they'd realise there's no point in messaging in the first place, which would then prevent any angst or frustration at a lack of response?

Oh. And no reply IS a response. 🤷‍♂️

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By *unner6969Man
2 hours ago

London

"Because no one owes anyone a reply 🙄"

People shouldn’t receive an aggressive reply, either - assuming their messages were polite.

I had a fairly rude response earlier when the recipient told me they weren’t looking to meet men (put politely, it asked why I hadn’t read their profile…) but her profile actually stated: “Looking to meet: …Men, Women aged 30-99”. Blocked her, obviously.

No reply is fine - rudeness and aggression are not.

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By *itSurreyCoupleCouple
2 hours ago

Reigate

Last time we said no thank you, I was call a fat c*nt and then blocked.

Way easier too just delete

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By *uzzleMan
2 hours ago

Hastings

Oh. And no reply IS a response. 🤷‍♂️"

I disagree with this. Try that at work, all it will get you is a P45!

If you message someone and they don't reply, common sense (something sadly lacking on Fab), should dictate that they aren't interested.

Ultimately, just because you send a message to someone, it doesn't mean you are entitled to a response.

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By *ansexualPandaMan
49 minutes ago

cumallover

So many butt hurt guys on here. I won't respond to a basic or a cut and paste message or even check out the profile. Be original, read the profile before you send that message.

Manners do cost my time and I'm not going to spend it checking out a profile or responding to a message that says "hey"! I only get a handful of crap messages a week. I can't imagine dealing with more than that a day. I do feel sorry for couple and single females who must be inundated with them.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
44 minutes ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Oh. And no reply IS a response. 🤷‍♂️

I disagree with this. Try that at work, all it will get you is a P45!

If you message someone and they don't reply, common sense (something sadly lacking on Fab), should dictate that they aren't interested.

Ultimately, just because you send a message to someone, it doesn't mean you are entitled to a response.

If you can't tell the difference between work (internal with colleagues or external with clients/customers) and sending a message to a total stranger on the Internet..........🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

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By *teph BitchTV/TS
43 minutes ago

Manchester

totally agree - a simple no thanks

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By *ozzie3685Man
37 minutes ago

kirkham

I don't think a reply is warranted. If I do get reply saying no thanks I always reply with happy fabbing. No need give abuse to anyone. I think probably the ones that give abuse are the ones that are not actually into the lifestyle. X

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
18 minutes ago

Chichester

"Why is it so difficult for people to respond saying this ! Some are so aggressive ! Anyone else finding this ?"

Because every time I face politely declined the person has got bent out of shape and I have to call them out for a being an entitled cunt

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