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"I didn't know he was married." Then you have nothing to worry about. Her anger is obviously misplaced... | |||
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"feel for u, as been there my self. though i didnt know he was married till the wife came shoting the odds" Thanks | |||
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"You're not in the wrong at all, HE was initially and now his wife is. He's the one that cheated and that's something she needs to understand. I assume you didn't know he was married, so how could any reasonable person hold you responsible or in any way to blame?!..." No reasonable person would hold her responsible but hurt feelings tend to make people less than reasonable. | |||
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"You're not in the wrong at all, HE was initially and now his wife is. He's the one that cheated and that's something she needs to understand. I assume you didn't know he was married, so how could any reasonable person hold you responsible or in any way to blame?!..." But perhaps the wife is too upset at finding out her oh has cheated on her to feel 'reasonable'? | |||
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"even if you did know he was married its still mostly his fault, its easier for her to blame you than it is to admit that their marriage wasnt as good as she thought it was." That's always the way though. Some people find it easier to blame strangers than the one they hitched their wagon to: don't get it. | |||
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"Think your self lucky I was slap by a wife , when with my kids in a shop and she was the wife of a couple I met off her who thort her hubby had feeling for me even throw I had never met him with out her being there " think thats the worst i have heard. if it wasn't for the fact you have said the kids where there then i would have said i hopped you slapped her back | |||
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"Think your self lucky I was slap by a wife , when with my kids in a shop and she was the wife of a couple I met off her who thort her hubby had feeling for me even throw I had never met him with out her being there " I feel lucky that I have a partner now & don't have any meets without him & neither of us are jealous. | |||
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"I didn't know he was married." Then you've done nothing wrong. Something similar happened to me years ago but we only exchanged text, never met BUT his wife found the messages and subjected me to a load of abuse until I agreed to speak to her. I did, told her the truth that I'd never met him and would never have swapped number had I known he wasn't single. She actually thanked me for being honest. Just keep deleting and reporting her. | |||
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"Surely the response is:- I don't want, him he is yours. I fucked him for my own gratification not as a prelude to a relationship so leave me alone; I represent no threat to you (Unlike your current behavior). Go scream at him for coming to me; not at me for receiving him. " | |||
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"This is exactly the reason I will no longer meet guys who cannot accommodate as a lot of the time they're hiding the fact they're married. " The guy my wife had problems with lent a mates flat ! | |||
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"This is exactly the reason I will no longer meet guys who cannot accommodate as a lot of the time they're hiding the fact they're married. The guy my wife had problems with lent a mates flat ! " Yeah there's been plenty of threads re married men that can accommodate and not married ones that can't Unfortunately it's no guarantee but some people live by the belief it's a dead cert predictor | |||
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"even if you did know he was married its still mostly his fault, its easier for her to blame you than it is to admit that their marriage wasnt as good as she thought it was. That's always the way though. Some people find it easier to blame strangers than the one they hitched their wagon to: don't get it. " What a load of bollocks they would both be to blame 50/50. They both done it and both knew so one isn't worse than the other | |||
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"This is why I don't meet married or attached people as it will come back to bite you " The OP quite clearly stated that she didn't know he was married though... | |||
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"This is why I don't meet married or attached people as it will come back to bite you " What about married guys that tell the truth and have their wifes full knowledge ? I have been honest with everyone ive tried to meet on here telling the in my profile i am married and you can even speak with my wife so she would know who i was meeting with and when .... what happens ? even the honest guys dont get a break because of cheating husbands My wife tells me about every meet she is making with someone and has my blessing to do so even spoke to a couple of guys while she was on a meet ffs, Try telling the truth as a guy and not even so much as a no thankyou to a decent well written message ! | |||
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"This is why I don't meet married or attached people as it will come back to bite you What about married guys that tell the truth and have their wifes full knowledge ? I have been honest with everyone ive tried to meet on here telling the in my profile i am married and you can even speak with my wife so she would know who i was meeting with and when .... what happens ? even the honest guys dont get a break because of cheating husbands My wife tells me about every meet she is making with someone and has my blessing to do so even spoke to a couple of guys while she was on a meet ffs, Try telling the truth as a guy and not even so much as a no thankyou to a decent well written message !" Its so hard to sort the sheep from the goats thats why we stay away if we can, no disrespect to you or your wife but its just easier to have a blanket ban unless meeting a couple together. | |||
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"This is exactly the reason I will no longer meet guys who cannot accommodate as a lot of the time they're hiding the fact they're married. The guy my wife had problems with lent a mates flat ! Yeah there's been plenty of threads re married men that can accommodate and not married ones that can't Unfortunately it's no guarantee but some people live by the belief it's a dead cert predictor " No, it's not a fool proof method of ing out the attached guy but its a good start. | |||
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"Come on guys have SOME sympathy for the wife!!!!she's obviously hurting. I've been that wife and logic goes out of the window when you're that shocked and hurt. We all need to take some responsibility for what we're choosing to do. I NEVER play with local men, I NEVER keep their no's I ask for theirs and ring them with my no blocked so its not on their phone. All it takes is common sense and discretion to not cause the pain the wifes obviously feeling." I have a lot of sympathy for the wife from what I know in this thread but as it is never possible to know what goes on in someone elses relationship or if someone is telling you the truth about it we try to avoid if possible. Sorry but keeping your phone number secret is only protecting yourself all you're shielding the wife from is the truth not the deception, that will wear away at their relationship and hurt her in other ways that she isn't even aware of. I do realise that the same applies to married women too. | |||
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"Come on guys have SOME sympathy for the wife!!!!she's obviously hurting. I've been that wife and logic goes out of the window when you're that shocked and hurt. We all need to take some responsibility for what we're choosing to do. I NEVER play with local men, I NEVER keep their no's I ask for theirs and ring them with my no blocked so its not on their phone. All it takes is common sense and discretion to not cause the pain the wifes obviously feeling." But discretion isnt needed if the guy is honest from the start ! My wife met a guy wasnt exactly local on his profile, single good pics, verified and able to accom a very good start. Met him a couple of times had some good fun then 2 weeks after start getting txts from a new number saying his was broke and was he still ok for next week etc went along with flirty txts etc wasnt until it started asking for pics that we began to think something wrong as he was on her friends list and could see the private gallery The prick left his private phone not only with all his contacts details but also logged into fabs. And so the shit began with her knowing all my wifes detailed face pictures which she cut and copied to facebook asking who was this slag turns out he was married for 19yrs 3 kids in tow and VERY local in fact so local it took all of about an hour before someone on her facebook page knew where we lived wifes real name even where and when she went shopping on a friday ffs. So who should we have sympathy for ? Him for being a cheating prick and liar or her for obviously not keeping a check on her husband or not doing things in the bedroom that he did while we were in a MMF situation ? We put as many precautions in place to out the married guys but some still get through and for those partners who find out they have been cheated on and turn up at the front door or while my wife is shopping and start shouting the odds then be prepared for the whole truth with pictures/dvd's attached if needed. Cheating isnt swinging | |||
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"if he was getting it at home he wouldnt be on here so realy his wife has to take part blame " Maybe so, but as you don't know the reasons why or the situation it's not entirely fair to come to that conclusion. I'm not saying that it's right for a husband to go behind his wifes back . That's totally wrong!!!! And visa versa. But i think if there is a problem it should be discusses openly and honestly and maybe some kind of agreement can be made. Then no one would get hurt. But having said that, not everyone is open and honest, and in fact they find it impossible to be, even when given the chance to be so . | |||
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"if he was getting it at home he wouldnt be on here so realy his wife has to take part blame Maybe so, but as you don't know the reasons why or the situation it's not entirely fair to come to that conclusion. I'm not saying that it's right for a husband to go behind his wifes back . That's totally wrong!!!! And visa versa. But i think if there is a problem it should be discusses openly and honestly and maybe some kind of agreement can be made. Then no one would get hurt. But having said that, not everyone is open and honest, and in fact they find it impossible to be, even when given the chance to be so ." My wife refuses to discuss it and does not even acknowledge a problem exists. Her idea of a normal sex life at our age is about twice a year, late at night with the lights out, and "get it over with as soon as possible". Some of us need much more than that. | |||
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"if he was getting it at home he wouldnt be on here so realy his wife has to take part blame Maybe so, but as you don't know the reasons why or the situation it's not entirely fair to come to that conclusion. I'm not saying that it's right for a husband to go behind his wifes back . That's totally wrong!!!! And visa versa. But i think if there is a problem it should be discusses openly and honestly and maybe some kind of agreement can be made. Then no one would get hurt. But having said that, not everyone is open and honest, and in fact they find it impossible to be, even when given the chance to be so . My wife refuses to discuss it and does not even acknowledge a problem exists. Her idea of a normal sex life at our age is about twice a year, late at night with the lights out, and "get it over with as soon as possible". Some of us need much more than that." I hear what your saying, but i think really you have to let her know that it may not be an issue for her but it is an issue for you. Yes some women don't want to and wont listen, but you do still have to say how you feel. And even keep repeating it until they do listen i'm afraid. | |||
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"the line I take on it will depend on whether you knew he was married when you met him..... if you didn't know... then you have my upmost sympathy, it is not a position i would like to be in... if you did... then you were complicit.. and that is one of the consequences of the decisions you made...." This | |||
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"this is the exact reason cheating has no place in swinging." Agree | |||
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"Recently I have been subjected to abusive vile messages from a wife who had found her husband on fab & I had verified him. -----------snip This is a swinging site so why should I have to justify myself. Why am I in the wrong? " Your profile is a couple, get 'Andy' to reply to the emails.... | |||
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"if he was getting it at home he wouldnt be on here so realy his wife has to take part blame Maybe so, but as you don't know the reasons why or the situation it's not entirely fair to come to that conclusion. I'm not saying that it's right for a husband to go behind his wifes back . That's totally wrong!!!! And visa versa. But i think if there is a problem it should be discusses openly and honestly and maybe some kind of agreement can be made. Then no one would get hurt. But having said that, not everyone is open and honest, and in fact they find it impossible to be, even when given the chance to be so . My wife refuses to discuss it and does not even acknowledge a problem exists. Her idea of a normal sex life at our age is about twice a year, late at night with the lights out, and "get it over with as soon as possible". Some of us need much more than that. I hear what your saying, but i think really you have to let her know that it may not be an issue for her but it is an issue for you. Yes some women don't want to and wont listen, but you do still have to say how you feel. And even keep repeating it until they do listen i'm afraid." Without labouring the point too much, I have tried on numerous occasions and the typical response is "that's all you ever think about!" and the subject is changed. I am not justifying my actions, and I would be slaughtered on here if I did, but sometimes relationships are far from easy to handle. I envy all the people on here that are "happily married" and still are able to agree together to engage in sexual activities with others. | |||
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" I envy all the people on here that are "happily married" and still are able to agree together to engage in sexual activities with others." Don't believe everything you read !! | |||
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" I envy all the people on here that are "happily married" and still are able to agree together to engage in sexual activities with others. Don't believe everything you read !!" That's why it was in inverted commas. As it happens, I am happily married, and have been so for 40 years, except for this one area. | |||
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"if he was getting it at home he wouldnt be on here so realy his wife has to take part blame " I'm sorry, but what a load of bollocks!! Just because he is on here, that doesn't mean he isn't 'getting it' at home! And even if he isn't 'getting it', why lie to an unsuspecting female and involve her in it?? HE is 100% to blame, not the lass on here, or his wife! | |||
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"Clearly when married men cheat there's various reasons The ones who have an affair I would think are less likely to be on here as they are probably wanting a new relationship with the emotional side as well Those with home 'sexual issues' whatever they may be are more likely to be hear where they can get whatever is going wrong at home but maybe not have the emotional side of things " but this is still so wrong, and isnt the place for it, use one of the many other sites that cater for cheating people, therefore not including some other unwilling unknowing person. | |||
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"Recently I have been subjected to abusive vile messages from a wife who had found her husband on fab & I had verified him. -----------snip This is a swinging site so why should I have to justify myself. Why am I in the wrong? Your profile is a couple, get 'Andy' to reply to the emails...." I will if she comes back again, thanks | |||
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"Clearly when married men cheat there's various reasons The ones who have an affair I would think are less likely to be on here as they are probably wanting a new relationship with the emotional side as well Those with home 'sexual issues' whatever they may be are more likely to be hear where they can get whatever is going wrong at home but maybe not have the emotional side of things " I'm here, happily married, no sexual issues at home, it's regular & good. Here for variety & naughtiness. But my wife knows I'm here | |||
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"the line I take on it will depend on whether you knew he was married when you met him..... if you didn't know... then you have my upmost sympathy, it is not a position i would like to be in... if you did... then you were complicit.. and that is one of the consequences of the decisions you made...." | |||
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"Clearly when married men cheat there's various reasons The ones who have an affair I would think are less likely to be on here as they are probably wanting a new relationship with the emotional side as well Those with home 'sexual issues' whatever they may be are more likely to be hear where they can get whatever is going wrong at home but maybe not have the emotional side of things but this is still so wrong, and isnt the place for it, use one of the many other sites that cater for cheating people, therefore not including some other unwilling unknowing person." because "those" site tend to cost a lot of money... whereas I think some think of this as a cheaper alternative to a working girl.... some people feel they have to justify being here.. some don't... if they are prepared to lie to the person who they profess to love more than any other why should you think you are owed anymore honesty than them??? there is a huge difference between no knowing playing with people playing away.... and those who do know... I am not prepared to be knowingly part of someone elses deceit and condone it | |||
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"I love meeting married/attached guys....no drama...no fuss....same situation....no messing about!! " haha oh the irony of that statement! you have read what has happened to the op right? | |||
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"just tell her that he said he wasnt married and if you had known you wouldnt of touched him.. say you feel sorry for her " better not say that a lot of us women on the swingers site he uses feel sorry for her too though | |||
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"SHE is the one making profiles and sending abusive messages to OP???? I dont feel sorry for her!!!!!" Seeing as we don't really know the man or his wife I don't feel anything for either of them really. Its a situation that plays itself out thousands of times a day in public and in private and probably always will. I have some sympathy for the OP because she became invovled in it without her knowledge and thats not fair. | |||
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" I have some sympathy for the OP because she became invovled in it without her knowledge and thats not fair." | |||
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"I love meeting married/attached guys....no drama...no fuss....same situation....no messing about!! The stakes are even...no screaming single woman wanting more more more more of me! I also love meeting single, young, fit, sexy men...and I do, very often x I also like older, hot, experienced men I also like women....the more the mierrier...welll!!! I'm in female pussy heaven! Never had a TV/TS!!! Can TV'TS be married single guys???? if so...I like them x Gay bi and/or guys turn me on too! " What a breath of fresh air from you Bambi! Who is everyone trying to kid when they describe this as a 'jolly old swinging site' IT'S A SEX SITE - an avenue for meeting like minded people and having a good time. There are nutters and timewasters in every walk of life so it's not surprising that some turn up on here. I feel really sorry for anyone who is confronted by an angry partners other half - but it really is their partners fault for not being more discrete. I am married - you can see that from a mile away - so I don't pretend not to be. I am married but not dead, and I like sex A LOT more then my wife. She doesn't know that I do this - I am sure of it - and she will never know, because I take the time to make sure that I keep this part of my life separate from the rest. I wish that I had a partner to join in the fun with other couples - but as I don't I am that pariah on this site - a single man - and even worse - a married man. Rant over - I am really a nice person as well !!! | |||
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"SHE is the one making profiles and sending abusive messages to OP???? I dont feel sorry for her!!!!!" proof of the hurt caused of the selfish actions of a cheater.. | |||
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"I love meeting married/attached guys....no drama...no fuss....same situation....no messing about!! The stakes are even...no screaming single woman wanting more more more more of me! I also love meeting single, young, fit, sexy men...and I do, very often x I also like older, hot, experienced men I also like women....the more the mierrier...welll!!! I'm in female pussy heaven! Never had a TV/TS!!! Can TV'TS be married single guys???? if so...I like them x Gay bi and/or guys turn me on too! What a breath of fresh air from you Bambi! Who is everyone trying to kid when they describe this as a 'jolly old swinging site' IT'S A SEX SITE - an avenue for meeting like minded people and having a good time. There are nutters and timewasters in every walk of life so it's not surprising that some turn up on here. I feel really sorry for anyone who is confronted by an angry partners other half - but it really is their partners fault for not being more discrete. I am married - you can see that from a mile away - so I don't pretend not to be. I am married but not dead, and I like sex A LOT more then my wife. She doesn't know that I do this - I am sure of it - and she will never know, because I take the time to make sure that I keep this part of my life separate from the rest. I wish that I had a partner to join in the fun with other couples - but as I don't I am that pariah on this site - a single man - and even worse - a married man. Rant over - I am really a nice person as well !!!" a breath of fresh air? with the irony she wrote lol lol lol as for nice.. a nice person would cause upset to the one they claim to love?? right | |||
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"the line I take on it will depend on whether you knew he was married when you met him..... if you didn't know... then you have my upmost sympathy, it is not a position i would like to be in... if you did... then you were complicit.. and that is one of the consequences of the decisions you made...." 100% agree - I won't knowingly play with someone else's partner without knowing that partner is happy with the situation. There is no failsafe way of ensuring a guy is single, but there are clues which I have picked up on before...can't always say what they are as sometimes it's just a gut feeling that something isn't 'quite right'. Have been fooled once (that I'm aware of). She didn't find out but he let it slip so I stopped meeting him. I got some grief from him for a couple of weeks saying I had no right to judge him, I didn't understand the situation etc - he gave up eventually. All I can suggest to the OP is to let this woman know you had no idea she existed and that you are sorry this happened but you were under the impression he was single. But I would also tell her that if she does not leave you alone you will have to contact the police (if it's affecting you off the site) - that will make most rethink their actions as they don't want their dirty laundry aired any more than you do. | |||
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"I a breath of fresh air? with the irony she wrote lol lol lol as for nice.. a nice person would cause upset to the one they claim to love?? right " Brenda you are obviously a paragon of virtue, and I am genuinely pleased for you that you can get what you want from this site. But you are single so can you define yourself as a swinger? Shouldn't you be looking on the crap and seedy contacts sites ?? I am sure that it is only me out of the thousands of registered users of Fab who is cheating on his partner for more sex. My bad. Get real! There are lots of bored and lonely housewives out there. We want to improve our sex lives not change our lives. | |||
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"I'll be honest not sure what the answer is to the post above re being married but on a low sex marriage and therefore being on here I'm not nor have been in such a position so cant really criticise from an ivory tower _iew particularly as I'm not sure what I'd be thinking Of course the easy answer is talk and get your sexy drives matched etc but what do you do if your partners sex drive has diminished or gone? Should you get divorced but what if you love your partner or have kids? It's a very difficult situation and one I haven't an easy answer for?" Thanks for the sensible understanding friend - I hope that it is never an issue for you. | |||
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"I a breath of fresh air? with the irony she wrote lol lol lol as for nice.. a nice person would cause upset to the one they claim to love?? right Brenda you are obviously a paragon of virtue, and I am genuinely pleased for you that you can get what you want from this site. But you are single so can you define yourself as a swinger? Shouldn't you be looking on the crap and seedy contacts sites ?? I am sure that it is only me out of the thousands of registered users of Fab who is cheating on his partner for more sex. My bad. Get real! There are lots of bored and lonely housewives out there. We want to improve our sex lives not change our lives." wow who are you to decide who can and cant be on this site.. i dont call myself a swinger thanks, i use this site for what i want! and that doesnt involve destroying lives.. i dont give a damn about lonely housewives, i feel the same about them as any cheater.. i havent defined a sex have i? getting at me wont take away the selfish act you do by cheating.. and selfish isnt nice, thats all i was pointing out.. | |||
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"I'll be honest not sure what the answer is to the post above re being married but on a low sex marriage and therefore being on here I'm not nor have been in such a position so cant really criticise from an ivory tower _iew particularly as I'm not sure what I'd be thinking Of course the easy answer is talk and get your sexy drives matched etc but what do you do if your partners sex drive has diminished or gone? Should you get divorced but what if you love your partner or have kids? It's a very difficult situation and one I haven't an easy answer for?" it is easy.. u made a commitment and you have responsibilities.. you live up to them.. not hard | |||
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"I'll be honest not sure what the answer is to the post above re being married but on a low sex marriage and therefore being on here I'm not nor have been in such a position so cant really criticise from an ivory tower _iew particularly as I'm not sure what I'd be thinking Of course the easy answer is talk and get your sexy drives matched etc but what do you do if your partners sex drive has diminished or gone? Should you get divorced but what if you love your partner or have kids? It's a very difficult situation and one I haven't an easy answer for? Thanks for the sensible understanding friend - I hope that it is never an issue for you." oh and your name HONESTjohn makes me laugh.. honest to your partner then | |||
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"I love meeting married/attached guys....no drama...no fuss....same situation....no messing about!! The stakes are even...no screaming single woman wanting more more more more of me! I also love meeting single, young, fit, sexy men...and I do, very often x I also like older, hot, experienced men I also like women....the more the mierrier...welll!!! I'm in female pussy heaven! Never had a TV/TS!!! Can TV'TS be married single guys???? if so...I like them x Gay bi and/or guys turn me on too! What a breath of fresh air from you Bambi! Who is everyone trying to kid when they describe this as a 'jolly old swinging site' IT'S A SEX SITE - an avenue for meeting like minded people and having a good time. There are nutters and timewasters in every walk of life so it's not surprising that some turn up on here. I feel really sorry for anyone who is confronted by an angry partners other half - but it really is their partners fault for not being more discrete. I am married - you can see that from a mile away - so I don't pretend not to be. I am married but not dead, and I like sex A LOT more then my wife. She doesn't know that I do this - I am sure of it - and she will never know, because I take the time to make sure that I keep this part of my life separate from the rest. I wish that I had a partner to join in the fun with other couples - but as I don't I am that pariah on this site - a single man - and even worse - a married man. Rant over - I am really a nice person as well !!! a breath of fresh air? with the irony she wrote lol lol lol as for nice.. a nice person would cause upset to the one they claim to love?? right " The irony continues in the username of today's white knight!! | |||
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"I a breath of fresh air? with the irony she wrote lol lol lol as for nice.. a nice person would cause upset to the one they claim to love?? right Brenda you are obviously a paragon of virtue, and I am genuinely pleased for you that you can get what you want from this site. But you are single so can you define yourself as a swinger? Shouldn't you be looking on the crap and seedy contacts sites ?? I am sure that it is only me out of the thousands of registered users of Fab who is cheating on his partner for more sex. My bad. Get real! There are lots of bored and lonely housewives out there. We want to improve our sex lives not change our lives." So, us genuinely single people can't be on a swingers site! But, because you are a married guy thats cheating on his wife you ARE allowed?? Lol. Get a grip mate! | |||
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