FabSwingers.com forum: Question for the men!

By *tarcrossed_Swingers OP Couple
7 weeks ago

Loughborough

Does repeated rejection not phase you?

Why we ask is if we have simply responded to someone telling them they aren't what we are looking for, why do we continue to receive repeated winks and messages for months after?

Yes, we could block and yes, we know it isn't all men or couples infact. But if we had been rejected, as a couple or as singles, there's no chance we'd pursue that again and move on?

Thoughts on a postcard!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *neforutoMan
7 weeks ago

Fantasy land in the SW

im thinking they dont care about your response and polite 'no ty'. I think its pretty awesome you even give a no ty reply in the first place and i would be happy knowing someone has read my messgage and take that as a win

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ergus1622Man
7 weeks ago

Dundee

If it's a no thanks then I won't waste my time or yours , I don't understand why others proceed to harass people?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BWLOVER1965Man
7 weeks ago

Ipswich

"Does repeated rejection not phase you?

Why we ask is if we have simply responded to someone telling them they aren't what we are looking for, why do we continue to receive repeated winks and messages for months after?

Yes, we could block and yes, we know it isn't all men or couples infact. But if we had been rejected, as a couple or as singles, there's no chance we'd pursue that again and move on?

Thoughts on a postcard! "

Nope as bloke we are used to it bit meh as you get older but it is what it is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ihimbiherCouple
7 weeks ago

lightwater

We couldn’t give a crap lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ony MannMan
7 weeks ago

Lagos, Portugal// Andover

Chance is they have a blanket bombing approach and don't know who they have messaged.

I have had the same...block them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *HUSH-Man
7 weeks ago

London

I wouldn’t ask more than once. If someone has already rejected me then I move on.

Considering you’ve already said no and they’re still messaging you I think it’s fair to block them now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *artfordBlokeMan
7 weeks ago

Dartford

You get used to it pretty quick, there's more important things to worry about.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *YDB75Man
7 weeks ago

East Yorkie

It used to but now not so much. Chats then blocked annoy me more

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iker JackMan
7 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

No different when a couple are rejected or a woman or anyone on here

Why single out just men?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imon the owlMan
7 weeks ago

barnsley

I would rather receive a polite no thanks than be ignored. Either way I’d just leave it as it is and move on.

The only other message I’d send would be to say thanks for replying and good luck in the future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ayfantasiserMan
7 weeks ago

Nottingham/Derby

One rejection is enough for me - I’ll just bow out gracefully. Even if it’s a read and deleted message, I understand what they are saying. No point spending any time or energy chasing or getting pissy about it. Just shrug the shoulders and remember not everyone is to everyone else’s taste.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lowupdollTV/TS
7 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

I suspect people lose perspective. Getting a no from a complete stranger on the internet..hardly life impacting stuff is it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allnHandsome12Man
7 weeks ago

Teesside

Echoing most other responses here, if I’ve had a ‘no Ty’ I wish them luck and move on, most don’t even reply so it’s certainly courteous of you to do so. I’ve heard a few times about guys repeatedly messaging when told no etc and I simply don’t understand why they do it. It’s hardly going to make them suddenly attractive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *host63Man
7 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

Every rejection wears you down over time.

There are men that work the averages and handle it but they tend to be more than a little narcissistic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olden PoleMan
7 weeks ago

London

One has to accept that rejection is more likely than acceptance. I tend to send a follow up message if left unread as I appreciate the amount of messages women get…after that I’ll take it as not interested and continue doom scrolling

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enshun4Man
7 weeks ago

Wigan

"Does repeated rejection not phase you?

Why we ask is if we have simply responded to someone telling them they aren't what we are looking for, why do we continue to receive repeated winks and messages for months after?

Possibly they have forgotten they contacted you but if not then who knows.

Rejection is part of life and personally I thank people for responding even with a no thanks

Yes, we could block and yes, we know it isn't all men or couples infact. But if we had been rejected, as a couple or as singles, there's no chance we'd pursue that again and move on?

Thoughts on a postcard! "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *overs4loversCouple
7 weeks ago

Shropshire

Exactly why we blank and block these days…sounds harsh but some people are just arseholes who will not take the hint or get nasty. Learned our lesson ages ago on that one, do not engage.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

"Does repeated rejection not phase you?

Why we ask is if we have simply responded to someone telling them they aren't what we are looking for, why do we continue to receive repeated winks and messages for months after?

Yes, we could block and yes, we know it isn't all men or couples infact. But if we had been rejected, as a couple or as singles, there's no chance we'd pursue that again and move on?

Thoughts on a postcard! "

It starts to feel a bit of a waste of time after a while. But other than that it's never bothered me. I have come to accept that its the way it is.

Women have a lot of guys to chose from and it only makes sense they would pick the best guys.

I think the guys who egos can't accept that the majority of women will never be interested in them must have a very difficult time, with the rejection.

I think thats why some guys get abusive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
7 weeks ago

East Sussex

I suspect that if they can still wink and message they will.

Out of interest why don't you block?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

If I get a reply of any kind, I am pleased.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eyond PurityCouple
7 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

We often get another message from someone we’ve rejected a few days earlier.

We change our profile pic almost daily so I guess people may think they haven’t messaged us before.

If you don’t pay for the site it doesn’t show you’ve messaged but if you do it’ll show the email trail too so we usually just screenshot the ‘no thanks’ message

We do block if it’s continuous though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lthomasMan
7 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

If I message a couple I’m interested in and get a no thank you not for us, I tend to send 1 mile back thanking them for the reply and then I tend to block them simply so I don’t message them again

Nothing malicious nothing nasty just better for both of us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzzieboyMan
7 weeks ago

taunton

"Does repeated rejection not phase you?

Why we ask is if we have simply responded to someone telling them they aren't what we are looking for, why do we continue to receive repeated winks and messages for months after?

Yes, we could block and yes, we know it isn't all men or couples infact. But if we had been rejected, as a couple or as singles, there's no chance we'd pursue that again and move on?

Thoughts on a postcard! "

Personally as a single man this time it’s definitely harder than playing as a couple but if I message and get no reply or it’s deleted for me the answer is a sorry not interested so I don’t persistently badger with more messages

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *neeyedwillieMan
7 weeks ago

Darlington

Not a single man but play sepeatly from my wife often due to our dynamic (also have a couples account).

I don't bother trying on fab anymore for the most part. It's a constant stream of "no" on here. It's annoying as there's a mentality I'm cheating (I'm most certainly not) or I'm not meeting someone else's requirements.

I go to the clubs or socials...no such worry. I'm a popular fella there.

For me it's the difference between online and real life. Online I'm just a voice in a large crowd. At the club, I get attention because I have the social skills for it.

I'm lucky that way because I know it's not the same for other men.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tarcrossed_Swingers OP Couple
7 weeks ago

Loughborough

"I suspect that if they can still wink and message they will.

Out of interest why don't you block?"

We've always used block for the worst offenders on Fab, not exclusively to men. People use it in different ways but out of all we've encountered, we've only had like 5 terrible responses from people.

The mannerisms in this lifestyle we find intriguing, hence the question. People's responses have certainly opened our eyes!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isser36Man
7 weeks ago

fylde Coast

Nah, been around fab over a decade and learned pretty early on it's an absolute cock fest on here. Your lucky if your message even gets read the amount women and couples get bombarded so just take it for what it is and keep it moving. The minute you start taking fab seriously and it's affecting your mood / mental health it's time to Jack it in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rettCoolMan
7 weeks ago

Dunfermline

Good on u for replying even though it's not the reply they were hoping for.. for me no 1 enjoys rejection if we are honest but let's be nasty with a horrible reply if the reply isn't positive ..

What i dislike is u make the effort to send a message sometimes at length then with no answer back it's deleted ..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luttynutterCouple
7 weeks ago

Peterborough

We second that! Constant

"Hey"

"Meet"

"You free now"

All within minutes of each other and we open the message and don't reply but constantly get bombarded with the same message. As a guy I'd defo get the hint after the first ignored message..second at worst! But some people really don't give up!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *is and hers 2024Couple
7 weeks ago

york

It's difficult getting yourself across in a single message, plus guys know that women and couple's get bombarded so pretty hard to stand out or not get mass deleted.

Me and the wife met on here but took 2 or 3 messages before she even noticed me before we got together

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

I try to make a note of who I have contacted, so I don't contact them again.

I would hate to be one of those guys.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
7 weeks ago

Mayfair

𝖬𝗒 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝖮𝖯, 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗇𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝗋𝖾𝗃𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗂𝗌 𝖺 𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗆𝗂𝗅𝖽 𝗆𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗅𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗇 𝗌𝗎𝖿𝖿𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗎𝖿𝖿𝖾𝗋 𝗐𝖾 𝖽𝗈 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝖺𝖼𝗂𝖽 𝗋𝖾𝖿𝗅𝗎𝗑.

𝖶𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾/𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖾𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗅 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗉𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗅𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗇𝗄𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝖾𝖺𝗍 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖺𝗀𝖾𝗌 — 𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝗈𝗐 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝖽𝖽 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗋𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍-𝖽𝗂𝗍𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗆𝗉𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝖼𝖾𝗌𝗌 (𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝗄/𝗌𝖾𝗑).

𝖳𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗇𝗈 𝗌𝗈𝗅𝗎𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌, 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗇𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗒. 𝖳𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗌, 𝗁𝗈𝗐𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋, å𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝖦𝗂𝗇.🍸

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread