FabSwingers.com forum: How do you reject someone you initiated chat with?

By *xperiencing-new OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Nottingham

This is a real issue, I know some just never message again and that works for them, however, for us coming across anything other than genuine is difficult, somebody's physique may look amazing but then when you see the other person there just doesn't scream phwaor, we're both aware we're no oil paintings, but we find one another sexually attractive, how do you say your body's fit but I don't want to sit on your face without sounding up your own a**e?

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By *nomeforyourboneWoman
4 weeks ago

Birmingham

You don't say it, there's no need to pick out the parts you do and don't like. If someone isn't completely for you just politely say I'm looking for something different.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

No need to say anything about their physical appearance.

'thanks for chatting we've decided not to take things further' ought to do it.

It helps if your first contact explains that you are chatting to establish compatibility...or otherwise

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By *tevenTellyCouple
4 weeks ago

Newmarket

I take this on for her she is a people pleaser to her own demise.

If she isn't into someone when we meet and I'm not exactly picking up on it i just ask her to say "thanks for the night my husband and I will talk about moving forward".

Then simply let them know that we enjoyed the meet but the feeling wasn't there.

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By *xperiencing-new OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Nottingham

Obviously we wouldn't point out what we didn't like about othwrs, it just feels really awkward to initiate a conversation with anybody and then change our minds, but as I'm writing this that is our right free will and all that, it is however awkward lol

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By *tevenTellyCouple
4 weeks ago

Newmarket

"Obviously we wouldn't point out what we didn't like about othwrs, it just feels really awkward to initiate a conversation with anybody and then change our minds, but as I'm writing this that is our right free will and all that, it is however awkward lol"

Most have taken it well, one didn't but nothing crazy.

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By *olden PoleMan
4 weeks ago

London

Thanks but your not what we are looking for seems tradition on fabs. I think most if not all of us on here have learnt to deal with rejection.

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By *xperiencing-new OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Nottingham

"I take this on for her she is a people pleaser to her own demise.

If she isn't into someone when we meet and I'm not exactly picking up on it i just ask her to say "thanks for the night my husband and I will talk about moving forward".

Then simply let them know that we enjoyed the meet but the feeling wasn't there. "

Yes, this.

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By *tevenTellyCouple
4 weeks ago

Newmarket

"I take this on for her she is a people pleaser to her own demise.

If she isn't into someone when we meet and I'm not exactly picking up on it i just ask her to say "thanks for the night my husband and I will talk about moving forward".

Yes, this. "

Most in this community are mature enough and appreciate the honesty.

Then simply let them know that we enjoyed the meet but the feeling wasn't there.

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By *teamynSteCouple
4 weeks ago

Hull

It seems the done thing on here is to block... we've chatted to couples and guys and when they realise we're not for them... boom.. blocked.

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By *ice_couple2012Couple
4 weeks ago

Leicester

This is an interesting discussion. We have had a couple of instances recently where another couple, after initiating chat or sending a wink, has just disengaged from the chat without saying why. Obviously they are entitled to do as they see fit but it would have been nice to have just said something like "..we've decided you're not for us.." or " we don't think we'll be compatible". We are absolutely fine about being rejected by others but knowing why can sometimes be helpful

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By *aomilatteCouple
4 weeks ago

Midlands

"This is a real issue, I know some just never message again and that works for them, however, for us coming across anything other than genuine is difficult, somebody's physique may look amazing but then when you see the other person there just doesn't scream phwaor, we're both aware we're no oil paintings, but we find one another sexually attractive, how do you say your body's fit but I don't want to sit on your face without sounding up your own a**e? "

Don't engage in too much chat with others regarding meeting unless you've swapped face pics. There are plenty of swingers whose bodies look good but you won't be attracted to their face. Some people just block the other profile if they don't fancy them. If there's a chance you could bump into them in a club come up with an excuse. "Due to personal reasons we're not meeting at the moment". Most will get the message and leave you alone.

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
4 weeks ago

Northampton

Body for Baywatch, face for crime watch.

Obviously for comedic effect only, I wouldn’t recommend actually saying this!

It’s already been said, “sorry not for us”. It would be wrong not to say anything and just rude to block.

We’ve stopped play before as it wasn’t working for one of us. We said “sorry this isn’t working”

You’ve got to have your big person pants on in this game, even before you take them off.

Good luck

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By *entleman JayMan
4 weeks ago

Wakefield

We’ve really enjoyed meeting you, but we don’t want to take things any further.

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By *lowercandyWoman
4 weeks ago

Lancashire

You are overthinking it

Saying no to someone even after a bit of a chat doesn't make you any less genuine except in your head

You don't need to explain

If you feel you must message

"Thank you, don't feel that we want to take further"

You can either block or

Depending on how much an arse the other person is potentially getting a begging/abusive/polite reply.

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By *herrybakewellCouple
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I'd just say I thing we want different things or say we don't feel we're compatible.

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By *xperiencing-new OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Nottingham

Thanks so very helpful points, ☺️

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

If you're not going to ghost then I'd go with being politely honest.

Just think about job interviews, the "Thanks, but no thanks" letter is better than tumble.

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By *TWboyMan
4 weeks ago

Norwich

"If you're not going to ghost then I'd go with being politely honest.

Just think about job interviews, the "Thanks, but no thanks" letter is better than tumble."

Quite often it feels like a job interview for single guys 😀

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By *issmorganWoman
4 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

If i get a face pic and they're not my type, I just tend to say thanks but no thnaks, happy swinging.

I don't explain why not etc.

If they come back asking why etc, I just block.

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By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
4 weeks ago

Where ever I lay my hat

A polite, sorry, not for us never offends (well not decent people). We can't be attractive and attracted to everyone.

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By *eyeYCouple
4 weeks ago

Nr Leicester

"Body for Baywatch, face for crime watch.

Obviously for comedic effect only, I wouldn’t recommend actually saying this!

It’s already been said, “sorry not for us”. It would be wrong not to say anything and just rude to block.

We’ve stopped play before as it wasn’t working for one of us. We said “sorry this isn’t working”

You’ve got to have your big person pants on in this game, even before you take them off.

Good luck

Xx"

Yup!! 👍

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By *ony MannMan
4 weeks ago

Lagos, Portugal/ Ilfracombe Devon/ Anoover

Say thanks for the chat but I don't think you are for me. Don't drag it out, just say it and say it early. Don't waste their time.

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