FabSwingers.com forum: Friends ask to join

By *heCumsFirst OP Man
3 days ago

edinburgh

On New Years Eve I was asked by my mate (since kids) if I’d join them. Told him I thought he was joking. She came over, we were at a house party, and said it was a fantasy they both had. They thought about a stranger but agreed no and agreed to ask me.

I said no, they are normal friends and don’t want it to ruin our friendship. Ask when sober.

They have.

She’s very attractive so tempted.

Worth the risk?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *endalshaggersCouple
3 days ago

Kendal

How long have you known these friends, and if it all went south how upset would you be if you didn't speak again? If you are comfortable with the idea if it does go south and everyone falls out, but you got to fuck her.

I'd balance it out with temptation vs friendship.

We had fun a couple of years ago with her best friend. I find the friend very attractive so naturally was not going to say no. Thankfully as they've known each other neck end of 20 years it wasn't "awkward" after and put down as a one time thing, done it, tick it off, don't talk about it sort of deal.

Hope it works out for you if you do decide to go for it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ony MannMan
3 days ago

Las Gaviotos, Fuerteventura

"On New Years Eve I was asked by my mate (since kids) if I’d join them. Told him I thought he was joking. She came over, we were at a house party, and said it was a fantasy they both had. They thought about a stranger but agreed no and agreed to ask me.

I said no, they are normal friends and don’t want it to ruin our friendship. Ask when sober.

They have.

She’s very attractive so tempted.

Worth the risk?"

Very wise to ask for the question to be reputable when sober. Now ho for it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 days ago

East Sussex

To know if something is worth the risk first establish the risk. What do you stand to gain, what do you stand to lose?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heCumsFirst OP Man
3 days ago

edinburgh

Thanks, reading my mind.

Him, 30 years or so. I’d say good mates.

Her, 5 years. His second wife.

He just called and he said he’d probably watch and that it’s a shared fantasy. She said in background not to worry. Reckon some hot wife been watched in their house…..

How do I know it’s not just her idea? Got to call them back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heCumsFirst OP Man
3 days ago

edinburgh

Gain, some fun but not my first rodeo.

Lose, a friend.

Gain, new dimension to friendship

Tougher than I thought

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 days ago

East Sussex

"Thanks, reading my mind.

Him, 30 years or so. I’d say good mates.

Her, 5 years. His second wife.

He just called and he said he’d probably watch and that it’s a shared fantasy. She said in background not to worry. Reckon some hot wife been watched in their house…..

How do I know it’s not just her idea? Got to call them back.

If you're interacting with a couple you have to assume that they've discussed and agreed it all. You can usually get a feel for if one partner is reluctant.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *idnightcowboy69Man
3 days ago

ciren

This thread is useless without pics 😂

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *idnightcowboy69Man
3 days ago

ciren

I'd start by getting them to play in front of you

To make sure they are comfortable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heCumsFirst OP Man
3 days ago

edinburgh

I didn’t get the feeling he was against. She just seems more enthusiastic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ibLeiMan
3 days ago

Manchester

Firstly, it was nice of you not to make any decision while they weren’t sober. It shows you have principles and truly care about this friendship

As for exploring this opportunity, an important question is whether you three can separate the sexual aspect of a potential encounter from the friendship. If you decided to stop having these encounters, do you think it would impact the friendship? If you three think the answer is no, I’d say this looks quite positive : )

I would also ask them if they’ve ever done that before.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anonfire96Man
3 days ago

Mansfield

So many variables, could go absolutely brilliant and create a new dimension to your friendship, could go disastrously wrong and you lose a life long friend.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 days ago

East Sussex

"I didn’t get the feeling he was against. She just seems more enthusiastic."

If you use the quote button under the post you're replying to we will know who you're answering

If you have reservations don't go ahead. The genie is out of the lamp now though, they've asked, refusing or accepting could bring issues.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
3 days ago

I'd pass myself, To close to home if things turn nasty, Just point them in the right direction and say maybe if you continue down this path and enjoy it something might happen in the future

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heCumsFirst OP Man
3 days ago

edinburgh

"I didn’t get the feeling he was against. She just seems more enthusiastic.

If you use the quote button under the post you're replying to we will know who you're answering

If you have reservations don't go ahead. The genie is out of the lamp now though, they've asked, refusing or accepting could bring issues. "

Top tip. Some sage advice on messages.

Steer clear with a thanks but no thanks.

Bah

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *appyChap91Man
3 days ago

Hull

have you talked with them both about how you feel, over drinks (not pissed)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aron Von RingsplitterMan
3 days ago

Mottram St Andrew

Sex changes things... You can never really know how until you try but you run the risk of ruining a friendship.

No idea how much you've spoken about this, or they have spoken about it as a couple from your post but I'd start here if you haven't. Lots of separate open and honest conversations with time in between to process which you hear.

When my ex and I were talking about swinging it took months from the first conversation to taking the first baby step (a trip to a swingers club where we agreed not to swing at all, not even soft. Just chat to others and get frisky together if it felt right). If they haven't had those conversations as a couple then I'd leave them to do that first.

I presume you mate is the man of the relationship and I can tell you that the first time he sees his wife/gf being intimate with another man, even if it's you, his emotions are going to be very unpredictable. And if he reacts badly then it's your friendship and his relationship at risk.

Not a simple yes or know I'm afraid. We also had a rule that we wouldn't sleep with anybody we were likely to be sat round a dinner table with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arley QuimWoman
3 days ago

Somewhere

I'd suggest if they really do fancy exploring the idea that you have a chilled evening together. No pressures and some flirting leading to soft play. They'll decide pretty quickly if it's something they enjoy or a hard no thanks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heCumsFirst OP Man
3 days ago

edinburgh

Final decision was thanks but no thanks. He didn’t sound disappointed but was understandably weird.

Reckon they may have marriage issues and this isn’t a solution for him.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ongAndThick123Man
3 days ago

Leeds

"Final decision was thanks but no thanks. He didn’t sound disappointed but was understandably weird.

Reckon they may have marriage issues and this isn’t a solution for him."

Now’s the time to watch things get weird… let’s see how she handles rejection.

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread

Friends ask to join - accept the invite?