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"Sometimes find popping on to Fab has totally the opposite effect than desired.. Inane "How are you?" messages, profiles we find unfathomable or unattractive, etc, etc.. Just us?! 🤷😉" Yep same, usual messages or winks from men or couples that can’t be bothered to read our profile | |||
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"Thank you! We feel we're too fussy on occasion to be swingers 🤣 However, can't understand why some evidently can't read (or just ignore bio) as mentioned at the start of ours. 🤷" The silly ones hang themselves though as it’s not hard to be nice and polite. Rather than a quick here’s what I’m going to do. Education is a wonderful thing for us. Grammar and punctuation also works, it helps things flow. | |||
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"Thank you! We feel we're too fussy on occasion to be swingers 🤣 However, can't understand why some evidently can't read (or just ignore bio) as mentioned at the start of ours. 🤷" Well I'm not in that category, and have read your bio!!! I think it's the cross over stage of some people messaging when they are hard at playing with them selves, and sometimes it's from others who've just opened fab, and their pants and don't know how to start without sounding like someone who would probably avoid !! | |||
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"Sometimes find popping on to Fab has totally the opposite effect than desired.. Inane "How are you?" messages, profiles we find unfathomable or unattractive, etc, etc.. Just us?! 🤷😉" The art of conversation does seem to be dying out... | |||
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"Honestly I’m on the side of single men here. Why should they try and try and try and get rejected constantly. They can help themselves wit a face body and cock picture first. But the long messages aren’t required. This is why they copy and paste because they are ignored by 99/100 profiles. We just need to know the attraction is there and then we’ll chat a bit and go to WhatsApp afterwards and arrange something" Nothing more tedious than a ‘Hi’ Or even worse ‘Hows u’ type messages from a bloke with no pics or veri’s | |||
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"Honestly I’m on the side of single men here. Why should they try and try and try and get rejected constantly. They can help themselves wit a face body and cock picture first. But the long messages aren’t required. This is why they copy and paste because they are ignored by 99/100 profiles. We just need to know the attraction is there and then we’ll chat a bit and go to WhatsApp afterwards and arrange something" Totally agree with the statement, D was a single guy within the 'scene' before we met. So utterly sympathetic, we have single guys blocked as it's not what we are looking for atm, so it wasn't a comment on them. ☺️ How do you ascertain "the attraction is there"? For us it's honestly their pictures and a message relating to what on they're bio we've read that we feel we'd likely match with face pictures.. | |||
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"Thank you! We feel we're too fussy on occasion to be swingers 🤣 However, can't understand why some evidently can't read (or just ignore bio) as mentioned at the start of ours. 🤷 Well I'm not in that category, and have read your bio!!! I think it's the cross over stage of some people messaging when they are hard at playing with them selves, and sometimes it's from others who've just opened fab, and their pants and don't know how to start without sounding like someone who would probably avoid !!" That! ⬆️ 👍 | |||
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"Thank you! We feel we're too fussy on occasion to be swingers 🤣 However, can't understand why some evidently can't read (or just ignore bio) as mentioned at the start of ours. 🤷 Well I'm not in that category, and have read your bio!!! I think it's the cross over stage of some people messaging when they are hard at playing with them selves, and sometimes it's from others who've just opened fab, and their pants and don't know how to start without sounding like someone who would probably avoid !! That! ⬆️ 👍" Well I think so 
I'm also hammered by the mass avoidance of The category I'm aligned to. Even though it's a persona and not the be all and end all of me.
Do I'm limited even further, when really a decent bit of chat is where I'm looking to start.
As a result, it's generally just men, already being filthy, who come straight at me.
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"Honestly I’m on the side of single men here. Why should they try and try and try and get rejected constantly. They can help themselves wit a face body and cock picture first. But the long messages aren’t required. This is why they copy and paste because they are ignored by 99/100 profiles. We just need to know the attraction is there and then we’ll chat a bit and go to WhatsApp afterwards and arrange something Totally agree with the statement, D was a single guy within the 'scene' before we met. So utterly sympathetic, we have single guys blocked as it's not what we are looking for atm, so it wasn't a comment on them. ☺️ How do you ascertain "the attraction is there"? For us it's honestly their pictures and a message relating to what on they're bio we've read that we feel we'd likely match with face pictures.. " Yeah pictures need to be attached. We delete when pics aren’t attached | |||
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"Honestly I’m on the side of single men here. Why should they try and try and try and get rejected constantly. They can help themselves wit a face body and cock picture first. But the long messages aren’t required. This is why they copy and paste because they are ignored by 99/100 profiles. We just need to know the attraction is there and then we’ll chat a bit and go to WhatsApp afterwards and arrange something" Agreed, I estimate that a single guy has to send 100 messages to get one reply, so if he spends 5 minutes on each message that's over 8 hours of messaging, is it any wonder that most messages are short and generic? | |||
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"What makes you think people spend 5 Mins per message? A simple copy paste is what we have seen which cuts the time down by 80% "Not a style of interaction for us, but if it works for you fine. Frankly yes we would spend 5 minutes on those we'd like to meet in terms of looking at their style of pictures and whether we find them attractive, reading their profile and sending a message specific to them, but understand that is not for everyone and neither are we 👍 | |||
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"You try and greet people with starting with a polite “how are you “ and it’s frowned upon on here by some. Yes challenging for single men on here sometimes but we get the ratios so it’s down to individual choices. " Errr, yes. After the same benign one liner multiple times a day most would get bored and stop replying, by the number of profiles that state the same in their bio, we don't feel alone.. | |||
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"Sometimes find popping on to Fab has totally the opposite effect than desired.. Inane "How are you?" messages, profiles we find unfathomable or unattractive, etc, etc.. Just us?! 🤷😉" I enjoy the Fabmin now, we made the decision to block single guys from messaging us a while back and it’s much simpler for us to choose who we interact with. We do still get messages from people who haven’t read our profile and don’t meet our likes but it’s much fewer. Improve the quality, reduce the quantity.. 😉 X | |||
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Also I only look at pretty pictures not profiles so... 🥳 | |||
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"Honestly I’m on the side of single men here. Why should they try and try and try and get rejected constantly. They can help themselves wit a face body and cock picture first. But the long messages aren’t required. This is why they copy and paste because they are ignored by 99/100 profiles. We just need to know the attraction is there and then we’ll chat a bit and go to WhatsApp afterwards and arrange something Totally agree with the statement, D was a single guy within the 'scene' before we met. So utterly sympathetic, we have single guys blocked as it's not what we are looking for atm, so it wasn't a comment on them. ☺️ How do you ascertain "the attraction is there"? For us it's honestly their pictures and a message relating to what on they're bio we've read that we feel we'd likely match with face pictures.. Yeah pictures need to be attached. We delete when pics aren’t attached " See I wouldn't want a cock pic in a first message, so that would be an instant delete. If people (it's not just men) just took 2 minds to read what someone is looking for, rather than just looking at pics and messaging, it would really help and stop the frustrations people may feel. For example I had a man message me from 200 plus miles away earlier. It's not realistic and I do state I'd only look for locals when I do meet. I use a fair few filters, but still get those who can't be arsed reading who message and it ends in a delete. Usually because either they didn't read what I was after, or did and thought they'd be an exception. | |||
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"Sometimes find popping on to Fab has totally the opposite effect than desired.. Inane "How are you?" messages, profiles we find unfathomable or unattractive, etc, etc.. Just us?! 🤷😉" The art of introduction is lost by many on here  | |||
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"You try and greet people with starting with a polite “how are you “ and it’s frowned upon on here by some. Yes challenging for single men on here sometimes but we get the ratios so it’s down to individual choices. " 3 words is not a great introduction though is it? | |||
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"You try and greet people with starting with a polite “how are you “ and it’s frowned upon on here by some. Yes challenging for single men on here sometimes but we get the ratios so it’s down to individual choices. 3 words is not a great introduction though is it?" Agree in most cases but ok with some - as some of us feel a little uncomfortable writing about ourselves. Short messages can lead to more chat and never know might have a connection that works for all. What some don’t like others might like. I try to think like that as you really don’t know what other people on here are really like. Most have good intentions. Yes a few I find crude and rude but just tell them not my thing. Also appreciate can be entirely different for couples and single females. I used to have one with my wife and agree far more hassle. Think of others is all am saying and try and be kind to them | |||
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"You try and greet people with starting with a polite “how are you “ and it’s frowned upon on here by some. Yes challenging for single men on here sometimes but we get the ratios so it’s down to individual choices. 3 words is not a great introduction though is it? Agree in most cases but ok with some - as some of us feel a little uncomfortable writing about ourselves. Short messages can lead to more chat and never know might have a connection that works for all. What some don’t like others might like. I try to think like that as you really don’t know what other people on here are really like. Most have good intentions. Yes a few I find crude and rude but just tell them not my thing. Also appreciate can be entirely different for couples and single females. I used to have one with my wife and agree far more hassle. Think of others is all am saying and try and be kind to them " We are always polite and kind but 3 word will get 3 words back. We don't think it is difficult to read a profile to get a feel of what people are like. Why oh why people would be crude instead of a nice introduction is beyond belief. Crude and naughty can come later once a feel for who you are messaging becomes apparent. Social skills are beyond some, as we think they think, that this is a site of swingers so we all must be looking for a shag, how wrong some folk are about this lifestyle | |||
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"Sometimes find popping on to Fab has totally the opposite effect than desired.. Inane "How are you?" messages, profiles we find unfathomable or unattractive, etc, etc.. Just us?! 🤷😉" Definitely not just you guys 🙄🤷♂️ | |||
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"Sometimes find popping on to Fab has totally the opposite effect than desired.. Inane "How are you?" messages, profiles we find unfathomable or unattractive, etc, etc.. Just us?! 🤷😉" I’m going through a phase where I don’t find anyone attractive. It happens sometimes and I don’t know why. | |||
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Writing an original and lengthy introduction often still gets ignored. For the few that do message back, it's often two word answers irrespective of the message you've sent.
It's just fab I'm afraid, you have to move on and try not to let it impact you. | |||
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"Not a big problem of mine I'm afraid
Writing an original and lengthy introduction often still gets ignored. For the few that do message back, it's often two word answers irrespective of the message you've sent.
It's just fab I'm afraid, you have to move on and try not to let it impact you."Exactly this. I try to be witty and fresh with every new interaction but they are generally shot down with one or two word answers | |||
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"… Writing an original and lengthy introduction often still gets ignored. For the few that do message back, it's often two word answers irrespective of the message you've sent. ..." I regard that as a really good filter. If they don’t engage with your message, they rarely turn out to be engaging people. The other big filter is how quickly they want to arrange a social. Genuinely interested people will want to set a date to have a social pretty promptly, even if busy lives mean that the date is some way off. | |||
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"… Writing an original and lengthy introduction often still gets ignored. For the few that do message back, it's often two word answers irrespective of the message you've sent. ... I regard that as a really good filter. If they don’t engage with your message, they rarely turn out to be engaging people. The other big filter is how quickly they want to arrange a social. Genuinely interested people will want to set a date to have a social pretty promptly, even if busy lives mean that the date is some way off. " Ahh this is a really good response. I think in future we'll filter out the poor messages if they don't engage with any sort of interest. We've been guilty of the later, as availability can be tricky, but the idea of putting a date down irrespective of timeframe we'll take note of in future with those who actually want to meet. X | |||
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"… Writing an original and lengthy introduction often still gets ignored. For the few that do message back, it's often two word answers irrespective of the message you've sent. ... I regard that as a really good filter. If they don’t engage with your message, they rarely turn out to be engaging people. The other big filter is how quickly they want to arrange a social. Genuinely interested people will want to set a date to have a social pretty promptly, even if busy lives mean that the date is some way off. Ahh this is a really good response. I think in future we'll filter out the poor messages if they don't engage with any sort of interest. We've been guilty of the later, as availability can be tricky, but the idea of putting a date down irrespective of timeframe we'll take note of in future with those who actually want to meet. X " Thank you - it really does sort the wheat from the chaff. It also means a good proportion of ‘fab’ friends become real friends. | |||
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"Thank you! We feel we're too fussy on occasion to be swingers 🤣 However, can't understand why some evidently can't read (or just ignore bio) as mentioned at the start of ours. 🤷" Think SOME couples tend to be full of themselves on here. Speaking as a single guy,I read profiles, also look at videos and pictures. Fab what attracts my attention. Usually Fab several pictures of the female and male together as a token of acknowledgement that it is a couples profile. Might even send a message to compliment them and their pictures, videos, and profile or all the above. Might be out of their age range but their filters are not set to preclude me from doing it. Might see them later on a story. Go to look at any new pictures and find myself blocked. Could really care less, actually. Just saying if your finding the site so degrading, then crack on to some other site where people match your standard! Just my opinion. | |||
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"I feel your pain OP, fortunately as an average single male, I have a very manageable inbox, with the occasional pleasant surprise. " | |||
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"What makes you think people spend 5 Mins per message? A simple copy paste is what we have seen which cuts the time down by 80%
Not a style of interaction for us, but if it works for you fine.
Frankly yes we would spend 5 minutes on those we'd like to meet in terms of looking at their style of pictures and whether we find them attractive, reading their profile and sending a message specific to them, but understand that is not for everyone and neither are we 👍"Congrats on putting in the efforts. I think the main problem is that low effort breeds low effort: single men feel the fatigue of sending out messages that often aren’t even read. And from experience, couples and single females rarely put much effort either when reaching out (when they don’t use the winks expecting *others* to message them…). Not sure what the solution is. The fact that all direct interactions go through a single channel—messages—is a real problem to me. | |||
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