FabSwingers.com forum: name n shame

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

having a name and shame section would be a good acquisition on the site. there are far too many people becoming a let down. couples single males single females, all are guilty of setting up meets with potential parties on here, then letting down the people they have supposedly invited to join them. i can understand that sometimes unexpected obstacles will arise and render the meet to be void. though i have spoken to a few on here who have been 'let down' with weak excuses by the organiser of the meet.

i believe that there should be a penalty system to enable less messing about of peoples time. my personal experiences also fall into this category. making plans to journey to the destination, and also making plans for say if you need someone to mind your kids etc is not taken into account by these people who feel no remorse in messing people about..........! name them and penalise, verifications are a valued asset on here i believe, but i also believe the people who let people down with weak excuses or constantly do it, should have there verification rights scratched. may sound harsh, but where do we draw the line here? .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and totally open to abuse - they wouldn't meet me so I will give them a bad review.

I dont like thier profile so i will give them a bad review

they didnt answer my mail so I will give them a bad review

They are in Newcastle so I will give them a bad review

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and totally open to abuse - they wouldn't meet me so I will give them a bad review.

I dont like thier profile so i will give them a bad review

they didnt answer my mail so I will give them a bad review

They are in Newcastle so I will give them a bad review"

couldnt agree more

its a poor idea as its bound to be abused

i think those that get on pass on good referrals anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont think name and shame is right way to go but perhaps a feedback system like ebay could be adopted. Every member, be it a couple or a person, would start off with 100% rating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This topic has been on forums many time,sounds to me that you have been messed around,if thats the case block them and move on,it happens to many people including couples and fems.

If we had a name and shame facility as rightly pointed out would be totally abused.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"dont think name and shame is right way to go but perhaps a feedback system like ebay could be adopted. Every member, be it a couple or a person, would start off with 100% rating. "

But this could also be open to abuse too, one person with a gripe - real or imagined (see above) could reduce a real, genuine persons %age down which wouldn't be fair. It's not easy but there will always be people who don't turn up for meets. Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a free site, not a dating site and its always a risk that people won't turn up.

Damage limitation is to me only way to stop things going wrong. Always meet at socials or clubs to start with or meet very local people.

Naming and shaming on a free site will not stop people letting others down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was on a site which had a star rating.

You started off with 3 stars get a good verification (on that site it was called feedback) and your stars went up to 5 and as long as you never got a bad verification or feedback you stayed at 5 stars.

BUT get a bad feedback/verification you would lose a star and have to plead your case with admin.

Surely admin have better things to do than sort out who let who down and sort out petty squabbles and not actually running the site and doing all the admin stuff that needs to be done on a daily basis which is how that site ended up being run.

The other site was run so that you had to email someone before you could leave a verification, but I know that didnt stop people emailing and then leaving bad verifications therefore making people lose stars even tho they had never met the person who left the neg verification, nor had they set up a meet and then not shown up.

Now I could say Jed let me down and no one other than Jed and I know we have never spoken to each other so how do you prove that what I say is truer than Jed saying he never agreed to meet me??

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without wishing to sound rude I doubt the OP, like many OP's before him, has really thought this one out.

Now that all the great reasons as to why name and shame simply cannot work have been posted it would be interesting to hear what the OP thinks now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"dont think name and shame is right way to go but perhaps a feedback system like ebay could be adopted. Every member, be it a couple or a person, would start off with 100% rating.

yes Zoe, I agree, it is open to abuse, but it's only a suggestion and not a sollution.

I suppose we are lucky, as we haven't had any timewasters at all to date, and I sympathise with all the genuine people who have.

The 64000 dollar question is though do we just leave it as it is, or do we try to find a sollution to this problem.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not sure that would work either, i had a message from someone today to which i replied "thanks but no thanks" I then got a rather rude message saying i must be one of the photo collectors and was then blocked. Wonder what there feedback would be like on me. He was well outside my age criteria, and all i was being is polite.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"dont think name and shame is right way to go but perhaps a feedback system like ebay could be adopted. Every member, be it a couple or a person, would start off with 100% rating.

yes Zoe, I agree, it is open to abuse, but it's only a suggestion and not a sollution.

I suppose we are lucky, as we haven't had any timewasters at all to date, and I sympathise with all the genuine people who have.

The 64000 dollar question is though do we just leave it as it is, or do we try to find a sollution to this problem.?

I know, but there will never be a solution, we've never been let down but we have quite a stringent filtering system and also a good eye for a false profile etc - I think if you are really careful etc you shouldn't be let down Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"dont think name and shame is right way to go but perhaps a feedback system like ebay could be adopted. Every member, be it a couple or a person, would start off with 100% rating.

yes Zoe, I agree, it is open to abuse, but it's only a suggestion and not a sollution.

I suppose we are lucky, as we haven't had any timewasters at all to date, and I sympathise with all the genuine people who have.

The 64000 dollar question is though do we just leave it as it is, or do we try to find a sollution to this problem.?

Got to agree there simply is no solution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can i ask the people who have been let down did you take the right steps to ensure the other people were genuine ie were they verified, chatted or cammed on msn or chatted on phone before the meet ? or is doing these things still not enough to stop timewasters ?

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Is the problem of people not following through with arranged meets really that bad?

I've not been around long enough to really know, but I'm not convinced the problem is so bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and totally open to abuse - they wouldn't meet me so I will give them a bad review.

I dont like thier profile so i will give them a bad review

they didnt answer my mail so I will give them a bad review

They are in Newcastle so I will give them a bad review

couldnt agree more

its a poor idea as its bound to be abused

i think those that get on pass on good referrals anyway"
In total agreement bad idea! We have to accept as swingers there will be time wasters and people that dont float your boat when you meet them in the flesh. Because someone changes their mind for whatever reason doesn't justify dragging their name through the forums!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Admin have stated several times name and shame will never happen.End of

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

" verifications are a valued asset on here i believe, ."
been a member 9 weeks and your only verification is by phone ??? so how can you go on about this subject

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i can imagine every person with a grudge of some form whether it be minor ie they didnt reply im hittin the report button, or they had to cancel am no happy hit the button! it would decend into bitchin backbitin chaos! does everythin in the real world go to plan?? no! well it happens here too!! pick yourself up dust yourself down and move on!! and what one person constitutes as timewasting may not be the same to another some people say " oh she never replied must be a timewaster other see different! naming and shaming would just result in grudges old and new!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" verifications are a valued asset on here i believe, .been a member 9 weeks and your only verification is by phone ??? so how can you go on about this subject"
Perhaps he's spent last 9 weeks trying to arrange meets to be verified and they've not turned up? Hence this post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i agree Maverick ive been stood up 2ngt

but im no 2 botherd was tired anyway lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In 4 words:

"A fucking bad idea"

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

Like numerous others, we've been let down several times, are the members who let us down time-wasters, we've no idea, our view is they love the idea of meeting for sexual interaction but hen it comes to the actual meet, they don't have the balls to go through with it, maybe nerves / confidence gets the better of them which is understandable, because of that, to name and shame them would be totally unwarranted and something we'd not want to be associated with.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"Like numerous others, we've been let down several times, are the members who let us down time-wasters, we've no idea, our view is they love the idea of meeting for sexual interaction but hen it comes to the actual meet, they don't have the balls to go through with it, maybe nerves / confidence gets the better of them which is understandable, because of that, to name and shame them would be totally unwarranted and something we'd not want to be associated with. "

That is such the right attitude and not all people who could perhaps be labelled as timewasters actually set their stall out to waste peoples' time - as you say some do lose their nerve - ce le vie! Z

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By *aughtyNurse999Woman
over a year ago

Fabville !!!

A very very bad idea... open to all kinds of abuse..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And imagine if you were named and shamed how many other folk would be thinking "you were actually thinking about meeting him/her/them"..........obviously no taste

Fuckin minefield folks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it could be set up to not include a % of the results at either end.. by not counting the extremes the average would be more accurate!

i know i'd lose all my 100%s then though

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Pay me £1000 per night and I will personally vet your potential meets and make sure they turn up

Sorted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ill thought out idea which would mire the mods in sorting disputes and wide open to abuse for all kinds of reasons.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

this has been thrown around in suggestive terms before i know, but there has to be some sort of solution, there is 2 profiles on here that are verified to the hilt, and show no regard to people making arrangements to meet them, only to let them down at the last min etc. i have spoken to a couple and it kind of spoils the site for them. it will always have its pro's n cons, i was merely suggesting that if there is a way to reduce it happening, then enforce it, whatever it maybe....

gotta say, i agree with some of the comments on both sides, but aren't there some divas on here......

'fuckin bad idea end of' wtf..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"this has been thrown around in suggestive terms before i know, but there has to be some sort of solution, there is 2 profiles on here that are verified to the hilt, and show no regard to people making arrangements to meet them, only to let them down at the last min etc. i have spoken to a couple and it kind of spoils the site for them. it will always have its pro's n cons, i was merely suggesting that if there is a way to reduce it happening, then enforce it, whatever it maybe....

gotta say, i agree with some of the comments on both sides, but aren't there some divas on here......

'fuckin bad idea end of' wtf.. "

So... Basically you have been let down tonight and now you are spitting yout dummy out??

Get over it,slagging someone off on here i.e naming and shaming will not do you any favours.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"there is 2 profiles on here that are verified to the hilt, and show no regard to people making arrangements to meet them, only to let them down at the last min etc. "

Yet they are obviously still getting meets.

Maybe, just maybe, they let you down for reasons beyond their control....

Or maybe they didn't like something about you as the converstaions carried on and they just changed their minds.

By the way...... I've never met you but I will be leaving a fake name and shame if it is ever brought on this site, just to prove a point.

Stupid idea!

**I'm such the diva**

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have been on here all of 9wks and probably think you should have had a few meets by now!!!

These "divas" as you put it have been on here a lot longer than you and have been offering you sound advice!!

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

my advice is to block all that piss you about

oh and tell all your mates on here if they ask

better than anything else is the jungle drums

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

i believe that there should be a penalty system to enable less messing about of peoples time. "

If you really believe that...... you are on the wrong site.

Get over it.

Shit happens.

Swinging isn't everyone's life.....

Stuff goes wrong.

Grow a thick skin........ or get out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pay me £1000 per night and I will personally vet your potential meets and make sure they turn up

Sorted

honeypot hun..kick in the balls

an they wont turn up for another

meet again lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

at the end of the day by word of mouth the timewasters get known by the rest of the swingers on site. Some are very genuine reasons, I must admit I have been extremely lucky but then I like to play with the ppl i have met first at socials etc., if they waste your time without good reason block em, ignore em, what is a good reason for one person may not seem a good reason to another its all a matter of CHOICE

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/12/09 00:02:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 31/12/09 00:02:09]"

Wow i think ofter that comment women and couples are going to be falling over themselves now to meet you... Not!!

If this does not have anything to do with you then why are you posting this???

You are obviously really pissed of because you havnt had a real meet by now!!

Get over it!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

sorry, i aint cut my teeth yet, still a wet one, i'm on the wrong site and not worthy.......

such an obvious reply there hun.

and aggressive..

feedback like tht who needs it. was merely makin a suggestion ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No you went tho,were you?

I saw what you had posted before you deleted it and it wasnt nice..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" was merely makin a suggestion ffs"

You made a suggestion and had some great replies in return, why the anger

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

and ur comment was?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i know and it was good, just the odd one tryin to be too funny with their comments, fact is i aint been let down prior to postin this thread, so i'm ok, but some poeple are a bit harsh wiv how they comment. last of i think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

looks bck 2 see if i was harsh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

not u. but i cant name n shame now can i haha o dear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh dear mav lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saw nothing harsh just accurate and forth right assessments of your suggestion.

Name and shame cannot work, the site owners will not entertain it as it does not work so whilst "man up and move on" may seem harsh to you they are in fact incredibly wise words

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i can accept the pro's n cons hun, and i know there will be people who abuse it. i'm ok with all that.

like i said only a suggestion which obviously got someone on their box! i thought a little bit personal to me that was all but hey...ya bound to get em

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i can accept the pro's n cons hun, and i know there will be people who abuse it. i'm ok with all that.

like i said only a suggestion which obviously got someone on their box! i thought a little bit personal to me that was all but hey...ya bound to get em"

If that was a dig at us we did offer you sound advice..

But then we did see comment you left and deleted and sorry but if others had seen what you had put you really had would have been ripped to pieces,so thank your lucky stars that was only us who saw what you put!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

just a thinkin out loud thought, not a rule, and not meant to offend anyone!!!!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

your off ur rocker, u gave me sound advice? spat my dummey out thats why i posted the thread?

take care

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Now look who is getting personal.

As others have said, naming and shaming isn't allowed on the site.

Now maybe it is time to close it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you have a name and shame section all the loons and bunny boilers will just start slagging off innocent people cos they havent even said hello back.

the report profile option is enough.

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