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Feeling othered?

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By *urora73 OP   TV/TS
7 weeks ago

Reading

How come there are profiles there who say in their bio that they are seeking (among others) TV/TS/TG, but when I try to wink or message them, I get the note that they have "blocked everyone of your sex"?

I encountered several of such profiles. I won't name and shame anyone, not my style.

But just now, yet again, I encountered a couple just like that. What's super weird is that they have mutual verifications with some TV/TG/TS people. How did they even manage to get in touch to meet them?? The couple is praised for being lovely and welcoming. I don't feel welcome. I feel othered.

I'm totally baffled.

Rant over...

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By *ot Wife BeckyCouple
7 weeks ago

Near Bergerac

If you go down that rabbit hole of trying to understand Fab Folk, you're in for a long ride...!!

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By *MandMMCouple
7 weeks ago

Welwyn

You can block a group from messaging you, but can still send them a message. That is probably what they have done, so they don't get bombarded with messages. They get to choose who they chat with.

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By *urora73 OP   TV/TS
7 weeks ago

Reading


"You can block a group from messaging you, but can still send them a message. That is probably what they have done, so they don't get bombarded with messages. They get to choose who they chat with. "

But how does that make any sense?? TG/TV/TS is the smallest demographic, and they specifically say that we are among what they seek.

Yes, I know, don't expect Fab folks to make sense... Those of us who do are in a minority...

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By *ot Wife BeckyCouple
7 weeks ago

Near Bergerac

And on the flip side, there's plenty of single guys who identify on their profile as being straight.

But go on to say they are seeking TV/TS and have veris confirming they have played with them.

Suppose it's all about the need for labels, isn't it. One size fits all etc.

There's FabGuys for gay/bisexual men, pretty sure there's similar sites for TV/TS.

Do you get similar responses from those sites as well...?

It probably goes with the territory, those of us into "'recreational sex" (or whatever you want to call it) are not always looking for romance so maybe they feel they can play on peoples needs without having to justify it long term.

Strange hobby we all have, isn't it...?

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By *iss DevilWoman
7 weeks ago

Bedford

On my couple's profile, we do have a veri from a TV even though we are not looking for TV/TS, not our regular dynamics (my partner is straight and I prefer manly men). But because we met them in a club, and we were involved in a group play that they were part of, we got a veri. So yes, OP, it is possible to meet a TV/TS even though the Fab profile states you're not looking for them.

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By *urora73 OP   TV/TS
7 weeks ago

Reading


"On my couple's profile, we do have a veri from a TV even though we are not looking for TV/TS, not our regular dynamics (my partner is straight and I prefer manly men). But because we met them in a club, and we were involved in a group play that they were part of, we got a veri. So yes, OP, it is possible to meet a TV/TS even though the Fab profile states you're not looking for them. "

The thing is, their profile says they ARE looking for TG/TV/TS. The tick-box part AND the bio. They also have some TG/TV/TS dooted through their veris, including 2-on-1 meets rather than groups/parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

It’s when guys message you and you’re a male and on their profile says straight. Why?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
7 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"On my couple's profile, we do have a veri from a TV even though we are not looking for TV/TS, not our regular dynamics (my partner is straight and I prefer manly men). But because we met them in a club, and we were involved in a group play that they were part of, we got a veri. So yes, OP, it is possible to meet a TV/TS even though the Fab profile states you're not looking for them.

The thing is, their profile says they ARE looking for TG/TV/TS. The tick-box part AND the bio. They also have some TG/TV/TS dooted through their veris, including 2-on-1 meets rather than groups/parties."

Much like women who meet men but block incoming mail from them via filters to manage their own inbox....they're just choosing to be the one to make first contact.

Simple as that. 🤷‍♂️

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By *urora73 OP   TV/TS
7 weeks ago

Reading


"And on the flip side, there's plenty of single guys who identify on their profile as being straight.

But go on to say they are seeking TV/TS and have veris confirming they have played with them.

Suppose it's all about the need for labels, isn't it. One size fits all etc.

There's FabGuys for gay/bisexual men, pretty sure there's similar sites for TV/TS.

Do you get similar responses from those sites as well...?

It probably goes with the territory, those of us into "'recreational sex" (or whatever you want to call it) are not always looking for romance so maybe they feel they can play on peoples needs without having to justify it long term.

Strange hobby we all have, isn't it...?

"

If a man perceives a person as a woman, then romance/sex with that person is the action of a straight man.

Trans women are women (though I'm painfully aware that we're not always perceived as such), while TV/CD... well, I perceive them as women, too, so to me playing with them is lesbian.

Also, it's important that you don't lose yourself in labels and start worrying about being mislabelled. Such a worry happens in many straight men who find themselves attracted to trans women / CD / anything in between. You are you, and who you like/desire is up to you, without justification, and with labels only being secondary, approximation.

But don't make out you are after a certain demographic, and completely ban that very demographic from approaching you. Just how is that supposed to work?

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By *acky RacersCouple
7 weeks ago

Lincoln


"How come there are profiles there who say in their bio that they are seeking (among others) TV/TS/TG, but when I try to wink or message them, I get the note that they have "blocked everyone of your sex"?

I encountered several of such profiles. I won't name and shame anyone, not my style.

But just now, yet again, I encountered a couple just like that. What's super weird is that they have mutual verifications with some TV/TG/TS people. How did they even manage to get in touch to meet them?? The couple is praised for being lovely and welcoming. I don't feel welcome. I feel othered.

I'm totally baffled.

Rant over..."

When we haven't had the filter on we get a lot of HPWs because we have veris from meeting TVs in clubs...

People use filters to manage their traffic but go looking for themselves and make approaches if they wish for a certain demographic...we have friends who we know do this...

We have single men blocked but do meet them...we just go looking fir ourselves and make approaches directly to individuals who interest us...

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
7 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

But don't make out you are after a certain demographic, and completely ban that very demographic from approaching you. Just how is that supposed to work?"

Aside from my previous point.

Fab places TV's, TS's and CD's into one category.

Maybe they're not seeking all?

Filters and preferences are individual. You'll never be able to dictate someone else's. If you can't contact them whether it's down to gender, sexuality, age or whatever....it's best to not dwell and move on to those you can.

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By *avid 50Man
7 weeks ago

kendal

people do not necessarily look at the profiles before they send a message, I occasionally do add to threads on here and subsequently I get messages back from all manner of people and I don't look at their profile before I respond, just because somebody is different doesn't mean to say I'm not going to talk to them, I'm here to chat and perhaps meet if I'm lucky

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
7 weeks ago

Coventry

I can get that's a downer.

I would say the most logical conclusion is its a they'll find you rather than you find them situation. Just the same a many couples who like single men also block single men from messaging. Simply because their inbox gets overwhelmed by messages. Some people don't want to deal with all the messages and just prefer to find and approach people of their selection. So the verifications maybe from people they find themselves on here or have met via a club or party.

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By *aciamiCouple
7 weeks ago

Hertfordshire


"On my couple's profile, we do have a veri from a TV even though we are not looking for TV/TS, not our regular dynamics (my partner is straight and I prefer manly men). But because we met them in a club, and we were involved in a group play that they were part of, we got a veri. So yes, OP, it is possible to meet a TV/TS even though the Fab profile states you're not looking for them.

The thing is, their profile says they ARE looking for TG/TV/TS. The tick-box part AND the bio. They also have some TG/TV/TS dooted through their veris, including 2-on-1 meets rather than groups/parties.

Much like women who meet men but block incoming mail from them via filters to manage their own inbox....they're just choosing to be the one to make first contact.

Simple as that. 🤷‍♂️"

This is what we do.

Most of the messages we get from single guys are utter dross and usually full of smut or offering to be a bull etc. A complete turn off for us. Many haven't read the profile and 99% are from people we would never in a million years play with. So we block messages from single guys on here.

Doesn't mean we don't occasionally play with single guys, as we do couples and single fems, but we don't want to have to deal with some of the disgusting messages we receive at times.

If we want to meet a single guy we will go looking ourselves.

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By *urora73 OP   TV/TS
6 weeks ago

Reading

Thanks everyone who has responded, some privately. I just felt like a little rant about what didn't seem to make sense. But I have heard of people actually getting spammed with messages from my category, even though it's rather small. Unfortunately, there's no filter to block spammers who don't read profiles etc., so the only measure is to block whole gender categories.

One reason for my reaction was also that I've been othered all my life.

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By *haneleviMan
6 weeks ago

Kidderminster

Because they're likely looking for TV etc but not wanting every TV on the site messaging them i suppose.

They likely message the ones who view their profile and message them instead if they peak their interest

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By *rsKOTCTWoman
6 weeks ago

Leeds

Just because they've blocked people of that sex doesn't mean they aren't meeting them, they'll find their own and it stops the crazy inboxes.

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By *andPextraCouple
6 weeks ago

North West

They really meed a filter on the category.

We would like to meet an uber convincing, feminine TS with enhanced boobs and a functioning cock (think porn start standard- yes, we re shooting for the stars)

Conversely, we have no interest in CD, yet the search and message filter brings this/allows this; hence until the site ever gets more nuanced there will be this issue.

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
6 weeks ago

Stoke


"How come there are profiles there who say in their bio that they are seeking (among others) TV/TS/TG, but when I try to wink or message them, I get the note that they have "blocked everyone of your sex"?

I encountered several of such profiles. I won't name and shame anyone, not my style.

But just now, yet again, I encountered a couple just like that. What's super weird is that they have mutual verifications with some TV/TG/TS people. How did they even manage to get in touch to meet them?? The couple is praised for being lovely and welcoming. I don't feel welcome. I feel othered.

I'm totally baffled.

Rant over..."

You won't name and shame them? What, because they aren't looking for TV/TVS?

Is that something people should be ashamed of? Or have I read your post wrong?

Mr F.

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By *endalshaggersCouple
6 weeks ago

Kendal

It is what it is.

The amount of couples who are at pains to point out on profiles "we don't meet single men" yet their public photos/videos are awash with the female half enjoying attention captured "not Mr"

It happens for all sexes and sizes unfortunately, it is what it is.

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By *urora73 OP   TV/TS
4 weeks ago

Reading


"You won't name and shame them? What, because they aren't looking for TV/TVS?

Is that something people should be ashamed of? Or have I read your post wrong?

Mr F. "

No, that's not something to be ashamed of. But yes, you have read it wrong.

They ARE looking for TV/TS, yet they are blocking that category. That feels like taunting.

But I've got my answers, there are apparently a lot of spammers in my category. I best just don't let the frustration about the situation get the better of me. I'll concentrate on those whom I CAN approach...

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