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The funniest thing someone said to you during sex

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By *ink Desires OP   Man
4 weeks ago

Sheffield

What's the funniest thing someone said to you during sex?

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By *aughty_ex_newbiesCouple
4 weeks ago

Glasgow

I had a girl propose marriage to me on a really hot couples meet. Wasn't as funny as her partner's face when she said it 😉😅

Mrs x

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By *ink Desires OP   Man
4 weeks ago

Sheffield


"I had a girl propose marriage to me on a really hot couples meet. Wasn't as funny as her partner's face when she said it 😉😅

Mrs x"

Whoops lol

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By *ike_looking_forMan
4 weeks ago

Cumbria

you need to hurry up there us a queue

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By *ilverfox for youMan
4 weeks ago

Hull

Balls deep and she said put it in then !!!!

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By *ampire69Man
4 weeks ago

Birmingham West Midlands

What time is your wife due back !!!

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By *oastal1968Man
4 weeks ago

London

Is this your first time in prison?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex

One guy whispered in my ear "the police are coming for you" in a really menacing tone of voice

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By *ike_looking_forMan
4 weeks ago

Cumbria

oh and to add another one....

Did you just fall asleep?

To be fair the jet lag was killing me and I'd had a few drinks and it was for less than a minute

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By *isceanguyMan
4 weeks ago

Loughton

I once had a guy ask if I could help him put up a shelf in his living room

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

I was face sitting a guy and he suddenly burst out:-

"OHHH PLEASE FART ALL OVER MY FACE", in a loud voice as he wanked off.

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By *hil most chillMan
4 weeks ago

South East & Europe

One fwb asked if I was peeing on her at the conclusion of our first meet. It was dark and luckily I was just cumming on her, a lot

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By *evergiveupMan
4 weeks ago

derbyshire

Where has the condom gone ?

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

I didn't expect it feel that big, it kinda makes me feel full! God my husband is tiny! We then did burst into laughter haha

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By *ighugs69Man
4 weeks ago

Port Talbot

Stopped while walking in woods. Was just getting into a good rhythm was told don't take too long this time incase we were caught.

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By *mallaboutthefunMan
4 weeks ago

Warrington

These stories are brilliant

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By *enelope2UWoman
4 weeks ago

Fife

You are so tight and soft...he was just fucking my thighs...I said wait till you actually put it inside me...

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By *inkyandthebrain2023Couple
4 weeks ago

Cheshire

I once had a guy continuously make comments about being a gynecologist to the point I believed him and was conscious about a professional with fannies looking at mine! Afterwards when I asked what hospital he worked in he looks confused and told me he's sells plumbing parts

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

One guy said I don’t cum this quick all the time but he cum even quicker second time around!

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By *igboyreecexxxMan
4 weeks ago

hemel

My name isn’t Staci 😬

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
4 weeks ago

Ryde

Had a guy who had been having trouble getting it up, and found that wanking him off was the only way to ensure anything happening in the trouser department.

After tossing him off for about half a sodding hour, my rotator-cuff was really starting to give me gyp. I decided to try and bring about a climax to get it over with, and squeezed tighter and increased the tempo.

I couldn't believe it when he exclaimed: "Don't do that - I'm gonna' cum!!"

It was my husband who blurted out: "That's the fucking idea, for chrissakes!"

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By *eano400Man
4 weeks ago

bsllyclare

Not what I said but what happened.

We had been out in the pub and got home and got down to it.

Lube was needed but didn't have any, so she said, try the tub of Vaseline in the drawer.

Being dark and bit tipsy I opened the drawer, got the "Vaseline out", put in in us both and we screemed at same time.

Lol- turned light on..

I grabbed Vicks vapor rub instead of Vaseline

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By *urbo321123Man
4 weeks ago

BEWDLEY

My mate had a girl ask him to talk dirty to her but couldn't think of anything to say so just blurted out "you fat cunt". She wasn't too impressed

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