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Don’t ask you don’t get

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By *rfab69 OP   Man
7 weeks ago

Solihull

Just had an interesting exchange on here with a couple so wanted to ask the wider fab community.

They viewed my profile and I viewed there’s and reached out with a message. They had some points on profile of what they’re looking for and I ticked all but one so thought I’d ask anyway and see if there’s still a possibility to move things forward.

Is this something you don’t like if all requirements are ticked not to reach out to someone? Or would you prefer to share a few messages and tell someone it’s not something you’d overlook and then move on?

As a single male if you don’t take chances and ask the questions you’ll get nowhere so interested to see other peoples perspective on this xx

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By *ittleLiasonsWoman
7 weeks ago

Birmingham

Preferences aren't set in stone unless it's something really specific or non negotiable. Most of the time people lay out an idea of what they are looking for but you find different things in different people.

Chatting to people to see if you vibe is the best way to filter out the best people for you but if there's something real specific on the profile you can't or won't accommodate, it's best to leave it as it will probably be a no.

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By *rfab69 OP   Man
7 weeks ago

Solihull


"Preferences aren't set in stone unless it's something really specific or non negotiable. Most of the time people lay out an idea of what they are looking for but you find different things in different people.

Chatting to people to see if you vibe is the best way to filter out the best people for you but if there's something real specific on the profile you can't or won't accommodate, it's best to leave it as it will probably be a no."

My thoughts exactly. I’m ok to take a no but feel it’s worth just reaching out and making sure it is something that won’t be overlooked xx

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By *h3rry Bomb80Man
7 weeks ago

the moon

You have to be in it to win it …

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By *issmorganWoman
7 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Depends on what it is you don't match..

I wouldn't bend on smokers or anyone cheating on a partner, but if I hit it off with someone, I could be flexible with other things ie age.

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

It’s nice for a couple to reply and say why you weren’t for them, but some get upset when you ask, and sort of understand why, this is a swingers site, and they just have far too much choice, even if all the boxes are ticked, all you can do is except it, move on and hope the next one is the right one.

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By *punk n gushCouple
7 weeks ago

Walmer, Deal

Its always worth reaching out as some things are negotiable and some aren't

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
7 weeks ago

Bristol

We tend to list a bunch of things we are looking for or are interested in.

If we are flexible we will say it's not set in stone or that it's not a deal-breaker.

Others we think it's pretty clear it's non-negotiable.

If people message us missing a key bit it tends to be deleted without reply

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
7 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

You know, I don't actually mind when people outside my preferences reach out in general.

As soon as they say anything like don't ask don't get or "Shy bairns get nowt" as they say up here, I am absolutely out.

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By *WANDTGCouple
7 weeks ago

Borough of Greenwich

We had someone contact us who didn't like hairy men and had their age range as no one over 50. I asked them why they had messaged as we didn't meet the preferences.

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By *issy4kinkTV/TS
7 weeks ago

Leeds

I don't mind at all when people message me with things I don't have mentioned on my profile. It's much better than the usual "hey" or "meet now?" That I normally get lol.

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