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Lack of interest

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By *leetus40 OP   Man
13 weeks ago

East Tilbury

I don’t understand this site, much the same as dating apps I guess. I’m constantly sending messages yet get zero replies. I don’t understand it. I’m not vulgar or just sending photos of my dick. I’m single, have my own place. Always send a message asking how someone’s day has been.

I get I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea but it’s ridiculous. I notice most of the time my message just gets deleted without even a reply as to why. Some feedback would be nice!. So what’s the deal?. Any pointers would be great

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"how's your day been?" Is the equivalent of a "hi".

People get 100s of those. Try and send something a little bit more engaging? Something that shows you're read their profile, and that might pique their interest and elicit a reply.

Why are you messaging them specifically? (Make them realize you're not just carpet bombing anyone with a hole)

Why do you think you'd be a good match? (Something more than "you vagina, me dick, distance acceptable")

What do you like about their profile? (Besides the tits pics)

Just my 2cents.

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By *inks30Man
13 weeks ago

leeds

Think most guys have this issue…and even if you get a reply the chances are they just vanish into thin air or still block you

I have tried the direct approach and also the polite approach…doesn’t seem to make any difference

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

People seem to focus on the message when the truth is, it comes down to attraction. You could send the most perfect message but if they don't find you attractive, they won't reply. The best thing you can do is only contact people who's profile actually resonates with what you and they are looking for, you meet the right people that way.

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By *rT25Man
13 weeks ago

Rotherham


"People seem to focus on the message when the truth is, it comes down to attraction. You could send the most perfect message but if they don't find you attractive, they won't reply. The best thing you can do is only contact people who's profile actually resonates with what you and they are looking for, you meet the right people that way. "

In agreement with this. Although sometimes I do look at some profiles and wonder how on earth anyone found them attractive.

But hey each to their own

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
13 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

If you're constantly sending messages, what criteria are you using to determine who you message?

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
13 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

It's not just about the message or attraction. It's about perceived, connection, chemistry, dynamic, matching activities / kinks, preferences, distance, etc, etc. You're in the majority looking for the minority.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

The worst ones are when you get a reply along the lines of “well hello you, you’re hot” etc

Then you try to engage in conversation and they read it & don’t reply again 😂🤷🏻‍♂️

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By *rsKOTCTWoman
13 weeks ago

Leeds

When I get a message I go straight to their profile and look, their profile not the message determines if I reply or not.

I wouldn't to you for several reasons.

You haven't asked for profile advice so I won't give it.

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By *eedsortingMan
13 weeks ago

Radley

All good wisdom in the above postings. I find that I don't see this site as the influencer on my happiness or the true arbiter on what I'm doing with my life. It's a bit of fun and, sure, it would be nice to have more conversations, connections and meets, but my world isn't ending tomorrow because it's not happening. And I have had some fab conversations and connections through this site. If you are really interested in meeting people in this sort of lifestyle context, then the best thing to do is visit clubs. [As a single guy, that raises whole other conversation but you can follow that in the numerous other threads on it, if you want ] Clubs offer the chance to sit and chat with people and I have found that this is a far more productive way of making those connections that are likely to lead to more. Plus they are fun!

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By *arb45Man
13 weeks ago

Derby


"When I get a message I go straight to their profile and look, their profile not the message determines if I reply or not.

I wouldn't to you for several reasons.

You haven't asked for profile advice so I won't give it.

"

You look absolutely stunning by the way x

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By *tlanshiaWoman
13 weeks ago

Chatham

Read the profile of the person your communicating with and then start a conversation based upon something within there.

It's hard, but women get loads of messages a day. You have to stand out

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By *moothdickMan
13 weeks ago

stoke

Tbh the site is full of fakes and egotistical fantasists… there’s a few gen, but they to must get pissed off with strip pies and fakes …

Only my opinion without prejudice

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By *.T.Man
13 weeks ago

the Dromara hills

Start off with the assumption that you are unlikely to be what people are looking for and a meet will never happen.

I'm no expert but I would imagine that the assumption is if you send a message, you are looking for a fuck, and a lot of people don't have the time and energy to play the long game so make instant judgement.

The few meets I have had recently was based on morbid curiosity of the lady in question, as a result of a speculative message. It can happen. Just forget about trying to get a meet and just think about extending your network of friends.

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By *rsKOTCTWoman
13 weeks ago

Leeds


"When I get a message I go straight to their profile and look, their profile not the message determines if I reply or not.

I wouldn't to you for several reasons.

You haven't asked for profile advice so I won't give it.

You look absolutely stunning by the way x"

Thank you 🙃

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
13 weeks ago

Sheffield

I’m not your target audience. But for me it’s about attraction and having the same interests.

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By *andPextraCouple
13 weeks ago

North West

I read your profile, more than once and still couldn't make my mind up.

Its like a cross between a regular dating site profile and a swinging site profile; its got elements of both without one being prominent.

So rather than what I think you may have been hoping for (appealing to many) it may well appeal to no one as it has elements they wouldn't be interested in.

But i’d agree the “nice day” type message is ripe to be ignored. Its too bland.

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
13 weeks ago

Stoke


"People seem to focus on the message when the truth is, it comes down to attraction. You could send the most perfect message but if they don't find you attractive, they won't reply. The best thing you can do is only contact people who's profile actually resonates with what you and they are looking for, you meet the right people that way. "

Exactly this. If we're going to message someone :

A, We look at their profile.

B, Are they looking for the same as us?

C, are we a match on looks/appearance?

If all that matches, we'll most probably message. If not, we scroll on. And it's exactly the same when we receive a message.

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By *illiam26Man
13 weeks ago

Craigavon

I feel the same message to people and no reply so disappointing and then u get a reply and start chatting then they don't want to meet

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By *ondoner27Man
13 weeks ago

london

Main thing is don’t let it affect your self esteem. You can still be desirable and get no interest on here. There’s lots of competition, a lot of swingers are not always looking for single guys and it’s not always easy for peoples true personality and strengths to shine through a profile.

I had a couples profile on here a couple of years ago, and whilst we had loads of interest and conversations we never met anyone off here. It’s not as simple as you think getting 4 people to agree to meet for sex. So don’t feel bad! Get yourself to a club or a social event and you’ll have better luck

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By *andPextraCouple
13 weeks ago

North West


"Main thing is don’t let it affect your self esteem. You can still be desirable and get no interest on here. There’s lots of competition, a lot of swingers are not always looking for single guys and it’s not always easy for peoples true personality and strengths to shine through a profile.

I had a couples profile on here a couple of years ago, and whilst we had loads of interest and conversations we never met anyone off here. It’s not as simple as you think getting 4 people to agree to meet for sex. So don’t feel bad! Get yourself to a club or a social event and you’ll have better luck "

Wise words there

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By *orthern BeardMan
13 weeks ago

Preston


"People seem to focus on the message when the truth is, it comes down to attraction. You could send the most perfect message but if they don't find you attractive, they won't reply. The best thing you can do is only contact people who's profile actually resonates with what you and they are looking for, you meet the right people that way. "

This! I think it helps once you’ve had a few meets and get verified. Some people don’t want to engage. Maybe they don’t find you attractive or interesting.

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