FabSwingers.com forum: Keeping the Flame alight

By *enuineguy42 OP Man
14 weeks ago

worcester

For those of you in long term relationships, how do you keep the flame alight between you and your partner. Have any of you ever lost interest and gone though the motions, if so how have you managed to get out of it.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
14 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I make sure we're taking time to actually enjoy each other, and that we're taking time to miss and long for each other too.

If I don't enjoy the time I spend with someone, and I don't miss them when they're not around, it's time to call it a day.

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By *enuineguy42 OP Man
14 weeks ago

worcester

[Removed by poster at 16/09/24 17:56:24]

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By *enuineguy42 OP Man
14 weeks ago

worcester

That makes sense I guess. Sometimes it's good to have that space away from each other to allow you to be missed and miss.

It's difficult not to fall into a rut though which leads to boredom and then taking advantage of each other

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
14 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"That makes sense I guess. Sometimes it's good to have that space away from each other to allow you to be missed and miss.

It's difficult not to fall into a rut though which leads to boredom and then taking advantage of each other

If I find myself taking advantage of someone I care about I usually take a step back and try to work out what fucked up my headspace enough for me to be a dick to them 💜

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By *lik and PaulCouple
14 weeks ago

cahoots

Being with the right person means we don't have those issues.

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By *enuineguy42 OP Man
14 weeks ago

worcester

I think in life we all end up taking advantage of ours partners in one way or another, for example household chores, I've ended up being the one to always do the housework be ause I started to doing it to help the Mrs as I WFH but now it's me that's always expected to do it whilst she treats the house like a hotel

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
14 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"I think in life we all end up taking advantage of ours partners in one way or another, for example household chores, I've ended up being the one to always do the housework be ause I started to doing it to help the Mrs as I WFH but now it's me that's always expected to do it whilst she treats the house like a hotel

So talk to her about it.

Sometimes things that make logistical sense don't make emotional sense. And if someone doesn't know how it's affecting you how can they be expected to know they need to change the thing that makes logical sense?

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By *aomilatteCouple
14 weeks ago

Midlands

We don't take advantage of each other, far from it. We were saying earlier how we appreciate each other and that's after many years being married. We keep our flame alight by making a bit of effort, that may be something vanilla or giving each other some attention in bed. Having the occasional fun with others adds to it too!

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By *n at the DeeP endCouple
14 weeks ago

Manchester

We're 20 years in now, been together since we were teenagers. We enjoy each other even more now than we did then. The sex has only gotten better (and filthier) the longer we've been together. Maybe we are just lucky because we are sexually, very compatible. We're honest about what we're into and each get turned on knowing that the other is getting what they want.

We joined fab and went to a club to see what it's all about and explore more of our fantasies and have been loving the whole 'scene' for almost 2 years. We only play out now and again due to work/family life but to be completely honest it's just a bonus anyway. If we gave it up tomorrow, our sex life wouldn't take a hit.

That being said, we do not plan on giving it up x

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
14 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

Petrol

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By *n at the DeeP endCouple
14 weeks ago

Manchester

"Petrol "

That would also work

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

"For those of you in long term relationships, how do you keep the flame alight between you and your partner. Have any of you ever lost interest and gone though the motions, if so how have you managed to get out of it. "

Goals! Have goals!

What worked for me in the past is to have some goal, or objective, to both work towards to.

These can be short, mid or long term, in fact I found it quite healthy to have a mix of all three. These goals can be anything, buying a new car, a holiday, moving cities, retiring young, having a threesome, trying a new restaurant, going away for a weekend, buying a larger house, having a child, getting a pet, both getting a diving instructor licence, starting/joining a D&D group, whatever.

These must be shared goals, on top of whichever individual ones you also will be working towards.

Also, I would say, communication. Bring this same subject up, what's going on with you two? What is she finding meh? What are you finding meh? What are you/is she missing from the relationship? Talk guys, talk to each other. It can suck a lot, and it's effort to even bring up certain topics, especially after a long day at work or when things are already meh, but it's really the key (of my three major relationship, I can -in hindsight- say that all three failed because of the lack of communication).

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By *outhstaffscoupleCouple
14 weeks ago

Cannock

I think both of us lost a lot of our libido after our child was born 18 yrs ago, but as they got older things got more back to normal. But more than anything else, telling each other about our kinks and fetishes and then acting on them has really made things amazing in our sex life. We know each other inside out so we know exactly what turns each other on

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By *enuineguy42 OP Man
14 weeks ago

worcester

For the use the goal is get through a day without an argument,it's horrible,I hate the life I'm currently living, there is no pleasure and no happiness

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By *lik and PaulCouple
14 weeks ago

cahoots

"For the use the goal is get through a day without an argument,it's horrible,I hate the life I'm currently living, there is no pleasure and no happiness "

So your marriage is not fine, as it says in your profile. Time for an honest and open discussion at home I would say...Good luck with everything.

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

"For the use the goal is get through a day without an argument,it's horrible,I hate the life I'm currently living, there is no pleasure and no happiness "

I'm sorry to hear that, yet again your best option is to talk!

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By *eyeYCouple
14 weeks ago

Nr Leicester

"Being with the right person means we don't have those issues."

Amen! We argue, complacent occasionally, but when it happens step back realise how lucky we are to have met and fuck like rabbits for the next few days 😈😂

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By *enuineguy42 OP Man
13 weeks ago

worcester

I wouldn't mind the arguments if it meant we could have sex afterwards but I couldn't even remember last time intimacy occurred. Seriously feel like it's time to make some difficult life changing decisions as I hate my life currently

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