FabSwingers.com forum: insecure

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi we been swinging now since october and had a couple of fun meets with great people it was my fella that suggested trying it andi werent too sure at first but decided what the hell do it. Now the problem is my partner has no problems with erections at all with kust me we have great sex an he pleases me most times easily but when hes in the presence of other men he struggles to keep or even sometimes vet an erection at all, hes not as big as the average people on here and he gets so insecure about it even though i constantly tell him he does fine with what he as does anyone have any similar probs or any tips to overcome this problem and ladies are we really fussy about size aslong as they can use it properly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe take a break from swinging until his confidence grows a little just visit clubs together with no expectations

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Problem being he adament hes gonna overcome it and i too really want him to too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Problem being he adament hes gonna overcome it and i too really want him to too x"

If he forces it its not going to happen and may make the problem even worse

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

The more he meets, the quicker he will get over it....

MOST couples will understand.....

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

From your photos I can't see a problem size wise.

You need to work out why he is feeling like this, if particular situations have this effect, avoid them.

Would separate room swapping be better?

Good luck, we're all different and just as well.

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

We swerve well endowed guys and where the fem looks to meet guys large. It may be your way for him to get over any barrier he may have. I'm not hung, so will not satisfy someone that needs or wants that. She has a coil and has no desire for uncomfortable penetration. Hope things sort out for you. It's no issue for us, there is hope for the non monster choppers out there

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Hi we been swinging now since october and had a couple of fun meets with great people it was my fella that suggested trying it andi werent too sure at first but decided what the hell do it. Now the problem is my partner has no problems with erections at all with kust me we have great sex an he pleases me most times easily but when hes in the presence of other men he struggles to keep or even sometimes vet an erection at all, hes not as big as the average people on here and he gets so insecure about it even though i constantly tell him he does fine with what he as does anyone have any similar probs or any tips to overcome this problem and ladies are we really fussy about size aslong as they can use it properly? "

Does he know you're posting?

I can't see the problem from that photo looks well above average to me.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

" he pleases me most times, hes not as big as the average people on here and he gets so insecure about it even though i constantly tell him he does fine with what he as "

Sure it will do his confidence a world of good reading this!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Haha no i shown him the post before i put it on hes ok with it he interested to get feedback himself x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe if you see him having problems ,,why not try re-arouse him orally that usually works well, it may be a bit of insecurity sub conciously but if you have the right play mates they will understand too and with any look ,jump to his aid

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By *thlete0Couple
over a year ago

southend

We are the same in that, we don't want huge men !

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

His cock size looks fine to me. Tell him to use other bits of his body. Sex isn't just about using a cock. Don't worry about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"His cock size looks fine to me. Tell him to use other bits of his body. Sex isn't just about using a cock. Don't worry about it. "

must admit I didn't think it looked small either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"His cock size looks fine to me. Tell him to use other bits of his body. Sex isn't just about using a cock. Don't worry about it.

must admit I didn't think it looked small either "

That is if the pix is his...it could be one of their meets, that's look pretty normal size to me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it possible that it's not a penis envy thing? But instead he's either nervous around other men? I've had a threesome go pear shaped when it turned out both guys (who were pretty similar in size) were really het up about "accidentally touching another guy's bits and therefore being gay".

The other option is it could be a performance anxiety, he's worried that the other guy will pleasure you better than he pleasures the other woman, because he's worried he's not turned on and hence Mr Floppy comes out to play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it possible that it's not a penis envy thing? But instead he's either nervous around other men? I've had a threesome go pear shaped when it turned out both guys (who were pretty similar in size) were really het up about "accidentally touching another guy's bits and therefore being gay".

I have to admit i thought exactly the same thing.

Also the idea of swinging is often easier than the reality.

Whatever it is, SOMETHING isn't working out for him and if you are enjoying it more than him, that will make it worse as he is putting your fun before his own or feels like he may lose you if he stops it.

Sounds like time to take a breather and re-evaluate what is really important here, your mans pscychological health and your partnership / marriage.

ps there is nothing wrong with his cock size wise

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By *thlete0Couple
over a year ago

southend

I think we have the same issue so might take a break

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is dave hope this helps im also not the biggest but had plenty meets .ive learned we all diffrent .its true lots of ways to give pleasure to both .. Tell him to look at our veries ...once read then tell him dave has never fkd the fm but played with both. Not that I wont just find not always the be all and end all. Xxxxx happy times ahead fot u im sure. Ps we do clubs more of the time .xxx davexxxx

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I would suggest you choose your meets carefully. Make sure the guys are really comfy in each others presence. Even just sit chatting in a jaccuzi naked with no sex happening. Spend time just in each others company. When your all comfy just play with your own partners. Then have sex on the beds again with your own partners.

Do this a few times and once all is all good then suggest you ask the opposite ladies to slowly touch the opposite partners.

Slowly slowly. My scenario is in a club where there are other people having sex and chilling out in a pool/jacuzzi xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to a friends house to play with a couple he sees regularly, the male had the same issue, we decided that as ordinarily he and his wife played in separate rooms where he had no problem that maybe he felt uncomfortable about enjoying himself in front of his wife and possible her enjoying herself. Maybe try separate rooms and see what happens

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Sometimes the brain puts the body in alert mode just because the situation is 'different'.

If he still likes the idea of swinging and wants it to work, then a simple bit of reconditioning to stop the 'alert mode' kicking in should work.

You could try hanging about in swinging clubs... with a no play agreement - so there's no pressure to perform. Once the brain gets to the point of thinking "oh it's just another place with naked men... nothing for me to worry about here" his cock will be free to do as it pleases.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men worry too much about how big or small a cock they have,Every penny doesn't fit the slot.

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By *thlete0Couple
over a year ago

southend

I never used to worry about it before we did swinging! Its because now your constantly being judged, although our meets have always gone well x

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

I never used to worry about it before we did swinging! Its because now your constantly being judged, although our meets have always gone well x"

If the meets have gone well, don't you think any judging that was done was successful?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could it just be stage fright?

I know a lot of people don't agree with it, and there are the health issues, but a lot of guys pop a little blue pill or similar before meets!!

No mr floppy problems!!

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By *thlete0Couple
over a year ago

southend

I never used to worry about it before we did swinging! Its because now your constantly being judged, although our meets have always gone well x

If the meets have gone well, don't you think any judging that was done was successful?"

I guess its the personal judging I supress myself to! Inadequecy is not a great feeling! So you have to tell yourself your okay or remind yourslef that others ask to meet again so it must be good!

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By *its The Spot AlotMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

i must admit years ago when me and my OH played in my first 3sum i struggled half way thro

i think its just a bit of pressure to perform.

i tend to take half a blue pill just to make sure it dont happen again

Now its not needed but for a guy once its happend just a slight thought of it happening again is enough

Have fun stop worrying about it all

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