FabSwingers.com forum: Why might someone cheat in this lifestyle?

By (user no longer on site) OP
15 weeks ago

Not talking about single folk here playing discreetly without partners knowledge

But under what circumstances might a partner/spouse cheat when a swinging lifestyle was already implemented and well established?

Have met a few fabbers on here along this journey who say they have separated due to infidelity, or gotten together in this lifestyle when they were originally married both to other people

I was always naive enough to think (for a long while) that established swingers would be people least likely of all the couples to be susceptible to infidelity.

Now I realise it’s no different to any other environment for experiencing relationship blunders and mishaps etc

Do any couple here try to future proof their commitments ‘more’ because of sexual liberation?

I guess it’s all down to that one key thing all over again.::: communication

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
15 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Hi, I think some people are just wired to cheat, no matter how good they have it.

They like the thrill of sneaking around, just being n the lifestyle won't sadly stop these types of people cheating.

I've seen a few threads where one half a couple has found a secret profile their partner has here. It's quite sad really.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
15 weeks ago

cahoots

Maybe it's because people confuse the sex versus relationship part. As swingers we are ethically non monogamous so multiple sexual partners is the norm...however, if the relationship isn't strong that's where people start to think the grass is greener on the other side and problems can set in.

This is why we don't understand people who think that playing with married people who are cheating on their other halves is a good option when feelings can kick in and then they want more.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
15 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Some people are just cunts OP.

You can give them all the freedom in the world and encourage them to develop other dynamics, and they'll still lie and cheat and gaslight you.

Because that's just who they are and how they operate.

Fuck em. In fact. Don't 💜

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

Well said PreyToTheFairies. Spot on.

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

Sometimes when one goes of the lifestyle the other one cant

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By *aomilatteCouple
15 weeks ago

Midlands

You'd be surprised how little some couples on here have sex with each other. One couple admitted to us they hardly had sex, they're no longer together. When that's the case it's not uncommon for one to start looking elsewhere.

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By *r TriomanMan
15 weeks ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

I met someone that was on here with her husband and their agreement was that they'd never play alone but she broke that agreement, quite often actually.

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By *heekyCharmMan
15 weeks ago

Colne

I've seen countless couples, most it would seem, where one of the people in the relationship swings more than the other. There's always a leader and the other complies or gives them the freedom to explore.

Where's the line?

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By *arlequin_tearsMan
15 weeks ago

Sheffield

" I guess it’s all down to that one key thing all over again.::: communication "

I'm Poly/ENM.

Even there, there are bad and abusive relationships.

You get your NRE addicts, adding more people to a polycules b/c they'd rather not talk about a problem, people who get enticed by the taboo of something secret or transgressive, or don't want to initiate a break-up.

Just because someone is open to different relationship styles doesn't mean they can't be an arsehole.

I've seen people rattle through play partners but suddenly get jealous if their nesting partner gets any attention.

Also, some couples are happy to play together. It's someone having feelings for someone else that offends. Which is often really harsh on 'unicorns' who want to make friends but get treated like meat.

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By *urbo321123Man
15 weeks ago

BEWDLEY

Guess it happens if you have sex with people, I find it easy to be friends and don't think any more than that. But I can imagine attachments happen.

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By *andC1000Couple
13 weeks ago

Ashford

"Hi, I think some people are just wired to cheat, no matter how good they have it.

They like the thrill of sneaking around, just being n the lifestyle won't sadly stop these types of people cheating.

I've seen a few threads where one half a couple has found a secret profile their partner has here. It's quite sad really. "

Sadly very true. They find it all too easy to just carry on cheating rather than put some time and effort into their relationships even when given the opportunity to be honest, leaving the person being cheated on feeling constantly worthless and unwanted. As long they get what they want no one else seems to matter, regardless of what they might take home to so called loved ones

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By *ddfellowMan
13 weeks ago

Newferry, wirral

I have been messaged by a few guys on here, who were afraid to tell their wives they fancied a bit of cock, one even had "no bi men" on their profile.

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By *issmeltingpotWoman
13 weeks ago

Darlington

I started swinging in 2006 with my ex

We met one couple regularly on average twice a month but sometimes it was three times per week

We were meeting others at the time too but they were our ‘go to ‘ couple

Nearly three years down the line and it turned out he was having an affair with her

It was the predictable loads of shouting and arguments about it

But he said he loved her

Which was worse than the affair and she told her husband the same

15 years later they are still together

Took a while to get used to it from my end but now I say to myself

He was cheating but not lying about his feelings for her

I think it’s highly probable that what happened to me happens to others

So for myself it wasn’t the sex thing like I was not as good as her it was the emotional aspect that’s come to play over time

People will say that emotions should be put aside etc

But it’s 100 per cent impossible when you both have that feeling about each other

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