FabSwingers.com forum: The truth for a lot of male profiles

By *igBearness OP Man
11 weeks ago

Richmond

I'll be completely honest, in the several months I've been here I've got to of messaged 200 girls, 3 have written back, none followed thou.

Now I know the girls here get a lot of messages, I've always tried to very respectful, always accepted a non reply, never hounded them, never rude. Even dropped the dick pics as so many of them hate them (hilarious thou when a lady says no dick pics then has 10 pics of her spam fritter from different angles, like I know what a donor kebab looks like)

What's the key to success? Am I that unappealing? Or isit that women jus looking for that ripped bbc?

Curious to get people's opinions before I close the account

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By *ermanentlyHorny8082Couple
11 weeks ago

Stockport (M) / East Lancs (F)

Just had a look at your profile and I honestly don’t know! Turn-offs for us are people who come across as too cocky or too pushy, or people who haven’t read our profile (or they have, and choose to ignore it and just message anyway - they just get a block!). Your photos look good, bio is clear. If you were up north, you’d be more or less what we were looking for! Genuinely can’t see what’s wrong, unless it’s your opening message to them?

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By *nesCouple
11 weeks ago

Milton Keynes, city of dreams

No one is owed or entitled to anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"I'll be completely honest, in the several months I've been here I've got to of messaged 200 girls, 3 have written back, none followed thou.

What's the key to success? Am I that unappealing? Or isit that women jus looking for that ripped bbc?

Curious to get people's opinions before I close the account "

I'm totally stealing "spam fritter". Got me laughing out loud.

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By *igBearness OP Man
11 weeks ago

Richmond

"Just had a look at your profile and I honestly don’t know! Turn-offs for us are people who come across as too cocky or too pushy, or people who haven’t read our profile (or they have, and choose to ignore it and just message anyway - they just get a block!). Your photos look good, bio is clear. If you were up north, you’d be more or less what we were looking for! Genuinely can’t see what’s wrong, unless it’s your opening message to them?

Thanks for looking, I try to make the effort with the opening message, I'm not one of those "hey your sexy wanna meet" types, usally I will try to make it personal to them compliment them on their looks invite them to a coffee social first etc it's usally about 3 sentences worth

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By *igBearness OP Man
11 weeks ago

Richmond

"No one is owed or entitled to anything."

I haven't said I'm owed anything I'm just pointing out the 200 to 3 ratio isn't working for me and wondered if I'm doing something wrong

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By *igBearness OP Man
11 weeks ago

Richmond

"I'll be completely honest, in the several months I've been here I've got to of messaged 200 girls, 3 have written back, none followed thou.

What's the key to success? Am I that unappealing? Or isit that women jus looking for that ripped bbc?

Curious to get people's opinions before I close the account

I'm totally stealing "spam fritter". Got me laughing out loud."

Haha use it wisely

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
11 weeks ago

Leeds

You've found yourself attracted to 200 women to message, I mean that's a lot.

"Even dropped the dick pics as so many of them hate them (hilarious thou when a lady says no dick pics then has 10 pics of her spam fritter from different angles, like I know what a donor kebab looks like)"

I'm sure this will I'll turn the ladies on, there's a huge difference between what's available to "choose" to view and what you bombard someone's inbox with.

There's a lot of men here, what are you doing to stand out?

What on your profile makes you a better choice than the other 27392019 men wanting to get laid?

Effort in = effort out.

Mrs

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By *HUSH-Man
11 weeks ago

London

Pictures are very important on here and I’ll be completely honest the ones you have are underselling you. Your bio says you’re a manly man so try to think about ways in which you could capture that. Do you have a beard and dress in the lumberjack style? If so use that as a theme for your profile.

Bios are important but pictures really draw attention.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Herts

Have a look at other M profiles and photos in your area, or even just from the forums. How does yours compare? Do you stand out enough?

Rather than focus on ratios which you can’t influence, focus on what you can.

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By *ermanentlyHorny8082Couple
11 weeks ago

Stockport (M) / East Lancs (F)

Then I honestly can’t help - that would definitely get a reply from us!

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By *eyond PurityCouple
11 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

You’ve messaged 200 women…so have you really fancied all of them. That seems a lot over a few months.

Your pics aren’t selling you - you’ve just took 3 point and shoot pics. All 3 showing the same thing - you in a pair of boxers. If you are going to take an intriguing boxer pic then they should show off the outline of your cock or them showing off your bum.

A bit of your profile blurb is that you are a Dom but your pics don’t reflect that.

There isn’t much in your profile that sells you - you know you, is this the best of you?

Thats what your profile should be doing - ensuring that you’ve sold yourself and appealing to your audience. There are thousands of other guys to choose from.

Good luck 😊

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"I'll be completely honest, in the several months I've been here I've got to of messaged 200 girls, 3 have written back, none followed thou.

What's the key to success? Am I that unappealing? Or isit that women jus looking for that ripped bbc?

Curious to get people's opinions before I close the account "

Heya! I'm very new, only been here for 3 weeks, and have already had the same thoughts, but... (a few observations)

-It's a brutal numbers game. Same as dating apps, women:men ratio is 1:700000000, they literally get swarmed by messages, so you really need to stand out, and/or be lucky and message them at the right time

-The verification Catch 22 is really punishing but that's the house rules, so there's little to do about it other than join any events that might be happening near you (unless, like me, you're in Suffolk and there's f.all going on XD ), or be patient and hope someone will meet you at some point

-My interactions really improved since I started being active on the forum (lounge/swinging/advice): in a single day two spontaneous conversations have been struck up on the side (sparked from some forum interaction) and there's a meeting in the air already. There ARE some nice people out there, buddy.

-I don't know what your openers are like or whom you are sending them to, but I tend to filter a lot before getting in touch: eg, if their profile says something that would "exclude" me, I won't just "try my luck". I only did it once, but made a strong case and sent a hell of a first message (it was like a 1500 words essay :D) and it did go well, but it's a rarity. In general, be genuine, don't try hard.

-Get that thick skin on: lots of rude people, lots of entitled people, lots of time-wasters, lots of "fakes", like everywhere in life. Learn not to let those get to you, move on quick and don't waste any more time on them than you already have. To the very few people who actually took their time to turn me down via message, you're absolute stars and I wish everyone had your manners.

Not sure this will help, I just felt like sharing.

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By *atandasmileMan
11 weeks ago

Edinburgh

What seemed to work for me:

* Go to clubs and meet and talk to people. You're now in the same physical space and can much more easily assess whether or not you'd get on - as can they.

* Get verified (see going to clubs above to break the chicken and egg loop).

* Continue this way and you'll get to know some sexy people. And some of the people they know, and so on. Forget about fab as a way of meeting for a while.

* Get more verifications.

* Some people will start to contact you because they see you around when they log in and they either like your verifications or, at the very least, see that you are a serious option - not a fake or flake.

I know I've emphasised verifications above and that there are many who state that they don't like to see a lot of them. But I found them to be the most reliable indicator of success for me as a male on fab. When I have fewer (because when people leave the site, their verifications disappear) then I get less contact; when I have more then more.

But mostly just get to know a network of sexy people and don't worry too much about fab.

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
11 weeks ago

Sheffield

It always comes down to attraction. Fab is just a tool but you can’t rely on it alone. There are plenty of socials and clubs go out and meet people face to face. X

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By *hePleasurerMan
11 weeks ago

Cheshire

Hard to say, unless it's something in your message (hopefully it's a different message every time, not just a copy and paste).

Maybe referring to "girls" is a clue - it implies something about the relationship you're looking for. But what do I know?

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By *end1Man
11 weeks ago

southend on sea

To the OP sadly being a single guy we outnumber the couples and single females.like you I have no dick pics on show even have a face picture showing but hardly get a reply if I do send a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

‘Cannot accommodate’ screams ‘have a partner’ to me. If there’s a genuine reason I’d add that to your bio

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By *orenzoVonMatterhornMan
11 weeks ago

Lincoln

Clearly your messages must be lacking that certain something. Have you tried fifty near-identical cock-shots, ideally over an uncleaned toilet, with the message "fancy a nosh love"? Sixty percent of the time, it works every time 😎

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By *nesCouple
11 weeks ago

Milton Keynes, city of dreams

"‘Cannot accommodate’ screams ‘have a partner’ to me. If there’s a genuine reason I’d add that to your bio "

100%

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By *ot_spicedCouple
11 weeks ago

Queenstown

Certainly nothing wrong with the profile content

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By *allwirral995Man
11 weeks ago

wirral

Not able to accommodate as a single male is a big issue, also not verified! Makes a massive difference get on cam get verified or go to a social! Once I was verified made a difference for people replying. But still find lots of messages not replied to or even read. It’s the facts of life no responses are guaranteed

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By *esparate danMan
11 weeks ago

glasgow

Youve messages 200odd girls

Do you think this maybe tells you that you are more interested in getting your dick wet than making a connection with any of them

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By *otwifeHusband888Couple
11 weeks ago

Within touching distance

It's tough for single guys on here I'd imagine. Guys who stand out to us need to

1. Be attractive

2. Read our profile

3. Refer to us as a couple

4. Be able to chat

5. Have a sense of humour

6. Enjoy a flirt

7. Wait for a meet

8. Be genuine and honest

9. Make Mrs feel sexy

I could go on about what we're looking for that's why I know it's really difficult for guys. Lol

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By *igBearness OP Man
11 weeks ago

Richmond

"Youve messages 200odd girls

Do you think this maybe tells you that you are more interested in getting your dick wet than making a connection with any of them"

You've literally got desperate in your profile name

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By *igBearness OP Man
11 weeks ago

Richmond

"‘Cannot accommodate’ screams ‘have a partner’ to me. If there’s a genuine reason I’d add that to your bio "

I do have a genuine reason, I been talking to another member about it in my dms, it's not something I wanna put on my main bio but it's maybe something I can address in any messages I send in the future

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By *esparate danMan
11 weeks ago

glasgow

"Youve messages 200odd girls

Do you think this maybe tells you that you are more interested in getting your dick wet than making a connection with any of them

You've literally got desperate in your profile name "

*desparate

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By *ealitybitesMan
11 weeks ago

Belfast

"‘Cannot accommodate’ screams ‘have a partner’ to me. If there’s a genuine reason I’d add that to your bio "

So we can all come to the same conclusion from your profile then?

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By *oreAgainForeverCouple
11 weeks ago

doncaster

We are a couple who do play with single guys but I reckon we wouldn’t reply…single women and couples get a lot of messages so we normally have a look at the profile and see if anything stands out for us…your profile isn’t terrible believe me there’s some bad ones out there but there nothing in there that jumps out at people, I believe this is where your problems lie and it won’t take much to rectify

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By *iker JackMan
11 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

“Will have you on ur knees”

Who said you will?

As it’s your profile I assume it’s you, seems presumptuous to me, maybe arrogant, but then you say you may switch so you may be on your knees

Personally and it is only personally I don’t like that. D/s takes time especially if you want them to be in the submission position of kneeling and all that actually means

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By *hat.coupleCouple
11 weeks ago

Dartford

Mrs here, I have 3 words for you "grey jogging bottoms" lol. I personally don't get it but women go mad for a guy in grey joggers. Apparently if you have a semi and can see the outline of your cock it's even better (I'm genuinely miffed with the craze!). Your a nice big bear of a man too which ticks another box for me, but not all women like what I like. I agree that you need more pics, maybe some of you dressed smart standing up (no dodgy poses please! Lol).

Don't worry about the people saying 200 messages is a lot with only 3 responses, they obviously aren't looking solely for fun with ladies or they would understand how hard it is to get responses from them!. We solely play with ladies so don't worry we understand.

It is tough for single men on here so don't beat ypurself up too much. I find that referencing an interest or talking point from their profile can work to get a response.

We've found we have more joy meeting at clubs, it helps to speak with people in person as a few random pics rarely catch people's attention. Feel free to reach out for more advice, let me know if you want to chat and I'll message you first to break our message filters.

Sian x

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By *oxy jWoman
11 weeks ago

somerset

sorry op you wont like this but its a fact of simple maths simply for men the is NOT someone for every one far to many men for far far fewer women and couples ..

and all this even before the attraction / compatibility issue that even affects couples and women to 99% of people sexualy wont like other people ... unless your one of them that dont mind and will shag anything

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
11 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

"I'll be completely honest, in the several months I've been here I've got to of messaged 200 girls, 3 have written back, none followed thou.

What's the key to success? Am I that unappealing? Or isit that women jus looking for that ripped bbc?

Curious to get people's opinions before I close the account "

Im not trying to be rude or up myself, but we receive more messages than that in a day. The inbox is just overwhelming and it’s impossible to stay on top of. Don’t take the lack of response to heart, it’s not a you problem it’s a supply and demand problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"Clearly your messages must be lacking that certain something. Have you tried fifty near-identical cock-shots, ideally over an uncleaned toilet, with the message "fancy a nosh love"? Sixty percent of the time, it works every time 😎"

That is hilarious, made me lol.🥰

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By *xhib12Man
11 weeks ago

Blyth

Thete doesn't 'appear' to be a golden ticket available on here so I guess you have to put the leg work in. The fact you've messaged more than 200 women would be a bit of a red flag to me to be honest as it appears you'll just message anyone you think may be up for a shag.

Personally, and I'll admit I'm a little lazy, I'll wink a profile that has attracted me in some way. If they wink back then I'll send a message and take it from there. I do say this on my profile too.

If there's nothing on the profile to attract me initially then I won't wink in the first place.

I would day I've probably contacted less than 20 profiles in all the time I've been on here and less than half have resulted in a meet for one reason or another. But I'd say that was a pretty good average really. I'm not here to waste anyone's time and I don't want mine wasted either.

Basically be honest & up front with yourself and what you want from the site and take it from there.

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By *tlanshiaWoman
11 weeks ago

Chatham

Having looked at your profile it seems ok to me, I wouldn't pass it by if you were local to me.

A few more pictures maybe. Try something more artistic, monochrome maybe...

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"Having looked at your profile it seems ok to me, I wouldn't pass it by if you were local to me.

A few more pictures maybe. Try something more artistic, monochrome maybe... "

I’m a really good painter do you think adding a nice scenic country meadow would do wonders?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
11 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

200 is a lot. In my years on here I doubt I've found that many profiles attractive, even with the male to female ratio being what it is meaning technically I have very many more to choose from.

For me, if someone's profile just states what they think they are, like nice, professional, great banter, whatever. These are show not tell things to me. No-one I consider an actually nice person has had to say the words "I am a nice person" to me, the only people who do that are the people who fail to demonstrate the behaviours that make that true.

If someone's pictures are all basically the same and don't actually show anything notably attractive to me, it shows a lack of imagination and openness as well.

Everyone likes different things. There's no point in making a profile that appeals to the masses if it doesn't show who you actually are, it just wastes more people's time.

If you're over 200 attempts already, embrace that you're just looking for any old shag. Focus on the profiles that want similar and get yourself down to clubs on greedy girl nights. You'll get sorted soon enough.

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By *xhib12Man
11 weeks ago

Blyth

"200 is a lot. In my years on here I doubt I've found that many profiles attractive, even with the male to female ratio being what it is meaning technically I have very many more to choose from.

If someone's pictures are all basically the same and don't actually show anything notably attractive to me, it shows a lack of imagination and openness as well.

Everyone likes different things. There's no point in making a profile that appeals to the masses if it doesn't show who you actually are, it just wastes more people's time.

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By *ig_specsWoman
11 weeks ago

Kilbarrack

I looked at your profile...

Firstly, you are not verified.

Your pictures also make you no favours... Think about getting a friend to help you with lightning and angles...

Lastly, your bio has minimal effort, I won't bother replying someone unless I see an effort to create a connection.

(Also, in my case, I have a catchy request on my profile bio text. I don't reply anyone that do not do what I asked, as it means they did not read what I wrote)

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By *hil most chillMan
11 weeks ago

South East & Europe

All you can do is put your best write up and pics forward, tailor your messages and hope for the best. The rest really is down to luck and timing. But messaging so many women suggests to me you might be copy and pasting, which puts most people off

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

OP you say you’re respectful then proceed to describe women’s vaginas as “spam fritters” and liken them to “a donnor kebab”

With that attitude it’s no wonder you haven’t been successful.

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By *he 1 2 watchWoman
11 weeks ago

Birmingham

I’m confused op. Why are you messaging women when your profile says you bisexual??? If you messaged me I’d ignore you as well simply because you’re gay so why message me. I don’t see the point!!!!

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By *xfordjohnMan
11 weeks ago

Oxford

The only thing I can add to the very good suggestions many have made about your profile and expectations is - patience. It took me a year to find the right couple on here, and I had approached so many I needed a spreadsheet to keep track of them all. But it worked and after five years it still does (I have seen a few others too over that period)

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By *oodiesCoupleCouple
11 weeks ago

Leicestershire

"You’ve messaged 200 women…so have you really fancied all of them. That seems a lot over a few months.

A bit of your profile blurb is that you are a Dom but your pics don’t reflect that.

There isn’t much in your profile that sells you - you know you, is this the best of you?

Thats what your profile should be doing - ensuring that you’ve sold yourself and appealing to your audience. There are thousands of other guys to choose from.

Good luck 😊"

Absolutely agree!

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By *anJenny 181Couple
11 weeks ago

Preston

We only go for people with verifications as we keep getting let down by people who don't have any.

You could be the victim of others who have been let down ?

Also it states you don't accommodate again this would put us off as obviously can't use the marital bed.

Everyone has a type & some will be wanting toned gym bunny's but other don't want them

Just keep being yourself & hope for a breakthrough

Lots will advise you to go to a club and get a few verifications from other in the club & the club itself

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By *issmorganWoman
11 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

If you ask to meet first message op, that would put me off and I assume others too.

Maybe chat and establish there is mutual interest before offering to meet for a coffee.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
11 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I’m confused op. Why are you messaging women when your profile says you bisexual??? If you messaged me I’d ignore you as well simply because you’re gay so why message me. I don’t see the point!!!!"

Bisexual isn’t the same as homosexual…

Mr TMN

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By *onkey 2023Man
11 weeks ago

Cross Hands

"No one is owed or entitled to anything.

I haven't said I'm owed anything I'm just pointing out the 200 to 3 ratio isn't working for me and wondered if I'm doing something wrong "

I’d say that you’re doing quite well with that ratio. I reckon that mine is somewhere around 200 to 1.

It’s not working for me on here either anymore…it was far better around two years ago (and earlier), but I’m now getting to the point where I think I’m about to bin it.

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