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What would you do?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
4 weeks ago

This is the male half of a married couple.

We recently found the FWB guy that we were looking for, which we were both excited about. We have had many discussions on how the situation would work and what we both wanted from it. We were both in agreement in what we wanted to happen.

We both get on very well with the guy, a really good connection with all of us after a few socials. The evening came and things started just as planned, then my wife asked the guy to go upstairs and that was it. From that point everything went out the window and I was completely neglected. It was her that had insisted previously that I was there to at least watch. The evening ended and not even a reconnection. This is my wife being selfish and thoughtless rather than deliberately keeping me out of it.

I feel this is the end of our swinging journey and finding it difficult to accept. It is not jealousy at all, I love her having sex with other guys.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

If I were you I'd put a stop to everything as you have done then have a very long talk with my partner

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By *iker JackMan
4 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Swinging and swinging as couples is about what is acceptable to all not just some of those involved

By allowing another man to be with your wife you are very much part of the equation.

As you say it was set up in such a way of which then the play dynamic was changed.

For me I would have stopped it then and there but I would definitely not be entertaining the idea until clear boundaries were set and adhered to and she knows clearly how it made you feel

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

What's the difference between being selfish and thoughtless and deliberately excluding you and what has she said about what happened? Also why didn't you follow them upstairs?

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By *iker JackMan
4 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Interestingly though the thread is sent from the couples profile so she can clearly read the replies.

You know the answer. You know it made you feel

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
4 weeks ago


"Interestingly though the thread is sent from the couples profile so she can clearly read the replies.

You know the answer. You know it made you feel "

She does not use the forum and I am not hiding it from her. She knows how I feel and what effect it has had.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
4 weeks ago


"What's the difference between being selfish and thoughtless and deliberately excluding you and what has she said about what happened? Also why didn't you follow them upstairs?"

Being selfish does not mean you are deliberately doing something to hurt someone, it means that you did not think about the other person at the time.

Why did I not follow them? Because at the time it was expected that they would come get me or send some photos etc.

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By *iker JackMan
4 weeks ago

Wolverhampton


"What's the difference between being selfish and thoughtless and deliberately excluding you and what has she said about what happened? Also why didn't you follow them upstairs?

Being selfish does not mean you are deliberately doing something to hurt someone, it means that you did not think about the other person at the time.

Why did I not follow them? Because at the time it was expected that they would come get me or send some photos etc. "

That’s different to what you first wrote. You said that it was agreed you were there to watch now it’s maybe to watch or to send photos

Maybe she didn’t know what she was meant to do

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"What's the difference between being selfish and thoughtless and deliberately excluding you and what has she said about what happened? Also why didn't you follow them upstairs?

Being selfish does not mean you are deliberately doing something to hurt someone, it means that you did not think about the other person at the time.

Why did I not follow them? Because at the time it was expected that they would come get me or send some photos etc. "

I'm getting the picture clear in my mind.

From what information I have I'd say you're doing the right thing

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I think you might be better off telling her all of this instead of us

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
4 weeks ago


"I think you might be better off telling her all of this instead of us "

I have !!

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By *aomilatteCouple
4 weeks ago

Midlands

Two days ago you said it was amazing after they'd gone upstairs together. What made your feelings change?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

Oh dear. I hope they work things out

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