FabSwingers.com forum: A question for the guys

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

First time posting a thread out with the Scotland forum so please be gentle

I like my meets quite rough, spanking, hair pulling ect...but I want to know what is the best way to approach subject without freaking out potential meets as I'm very aware not all guys like to be like that with ladies?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont like to be too rough but any girl i've been with has just brought it up in the heat of the moment - like when i'm takin her from behind there would have been a shout of "mmmm slap my ass" being a polite guy i do as im told then i'd hear "harder, HARDER!" So i keep slap that ass a little harder each time till i hear "mmmm fuck yeah, just like that!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont like to be too rough but any girl i've been with has just brought it up in the heat of the moment - like when i'm takin her from behind there would have been a shout of "mmmm slap my ass" being a polite guy i do as im told then i'd hear "harder, HARDER!" So i keep slap that ass a little harder each time till i hear "mmmm fuck yeah, just like that!""

I have been surprised a few times in the heat of the moment as well but as you can imagine, i didn't complain. in fact i was pleasantly surprised.

As far as hair pulling goes you can just say it while having fun and hope he obliges

I found the best way for a girl to indicate her interest in spanking COULD be slapping your own behind a couple of times while fucking doggy style. Then they should take it from their if that's their thing. If he / she needs any more clues than that then they're either not interested in spanking or just not too bright all together

Happy swinging!

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By *encarolCouple
over a year ago

Tyneside

Well anytime you fancy some "rough" let us know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to, while messaging, ask if the guy is Dom. If they say they are or can be, I just mention that I like hair pulling etc if and when it is appropriate and most guys are happy to oblige. Otherwise, as the guy above has stated, say "pull my hair" "slap my arse" etc during play! Am sure most men would be up for it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just drop it into conversation with him and see how he reacts. Or if you're already doing it then try and get him to treat you rough.

I suspect most guys would give it a go, wether they are any good at it or not would be for you to decide.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all. I just wondered if approaching during the initial chat is best especially as a little slap in the arse just ain't enough, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is a odd question for me because sat here alone reading the question my first response is sod that no guys being rough with me, but I know full well that on a meet if the guy treats me right and I get turned on I would let him do anything we wanted bar nothing, so long as its legal of course

I think im one of those women who maybe a little bit sub but find it really hard to admit

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

if you say that you like it rough in your profile and youre not careful of your invites to meet you could well end up with any old abuser and it go not as well as you wanted. It'll also encourage a lot of shite mails from people who basically think your a hole to be filled and could well put you off properly looking for people.

Theres nothing wrong with a good heated meet thought if I were you anyone that takes your interest meet but also try to have a look at their profiles for a hint of animal in them .. then just mention it on meet day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didnt you recently post about having your confidence shattered because a guy had been 'almost physical' with you...Im not having a go, honest but just seems at odds with this post is all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spur of the moment rough play is amazing but that usually arrives with meets you met before..

With a new meet communication is key if your looking for that style of play from the offset.. Discuss with him or her for that matter in person what you require from your session... if you describe the level of hair pulling and arse slapping and any form of pleasure, pain play you will gain more satisfaction on all levels..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always talk to ladies and give them a safe word in case I push them too far.it's good discuss your like either by mail or on the phone 1st. Communication is key and I'm sure there aren't many on here who would be put off by your wants

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Didnt you recently post about having your confidence shattered because a guy had been 'almost physical' with you...Im not having a go, honest but just seems at odds with this post is all."

Yeah but was different. Guy wouldn't take no for an answer when I said no to bareback, so different kind of physical. Nothing to do with being rough during sex.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I was advised to add what I like into my profile, as if brought up during conversation seemed to scare quite a few men away!

Since I have done that, my messages have reduced drastically! So I guess it proves my point unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

personally i would guess from your pic with a hand print on your bum that you like being spanked.

But the best way is to be honest and up front, tell the guy what you like.

Most guys will be only too happy to please you!

not all of us are the selfish type.

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By *ewlySingleMaleMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Just say that you sometimes like things a bit rough but that it isn't something you want all the time. I'm sure it won't scare people off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"personally i would guess from your pic with a hand print on your bum that you like being spanked.

But the best way is to be honest and up front, tell the guy what you like.

Most guys will be only too happy to please you!

not all of us are the selfish type."

I am actually surprised that guys run away on the mention of spanking or rough play...perhaps we're not that similar sexually after all

Honesty really is the best policy here. In fact the earlier the better. you can always say early on something like "Are you put off by women who like it rough SOMETIMES?" which i believe puts it gently and almost guarantees a response you can make a judgement on.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"personally i would guess from your pic with a hand print on your bum that you like being spanked.

Most guys will be only too happy to please you!

not all of us are the selfish type."

Well, I certainly wouldn't make my pic public, then I wouldn't get any bloody messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"personally i would guess from your pic with a hand print on your bum that you like being spanked.

Most guys will be only too happy to please you!

not all of us are the selfish type.

Well, I certainly wouldn't make my pic public, then I wouldn't get any bloody messages

We're curious now

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By *its The Spot AlotMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

I have exchanged a few pics or porn clips before, with woman ive chatted too which gives no doubt what we both want or expect.

Also maybe a past experience/story of what really turned me/her on.

Helps say stuff without a straight Q&A session

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"personally i would guess from your pic with a hand print on your bum that you like being spanked.

Most guys will be only too happy to please you!

not all of us are the selfish type.

Well, I certainly wouldn't make my pic public, then I wouldn't get any bloody messages

We're curious now

The clue is in the wordy bit of my profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"personally i would guess from your pic with a hand print on your bum that you like being spanked.

Most guys will be only too happy to please you!

not all of us are the selfish type.

Well, I certainly wouldn't make my pic public, then I wouldn't get any bloody messages

With a body like that i would do WHATEVER you wanted to please you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you all. I just wondered if approaching during the initial chat is best especially as a little slap in the arse just ain't enough, lol "

Give me a call some time and ill explain it lol xxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just ask straight off the bat. Me myself would be really happy if they told me that as i love spankin, whipping, pulling hair etc lol.... Spanking got to be my fav... Just saying

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"personally i would guess from your pic with a hand print on your bum that you like being spanked.

Most guys will be only too happy to please you!

not all of us are the selfish type.

Well, I certainly wouldn't make my pic public, then I wouldn't get any bloody messages

With a body like that i would do WHATEVER you wanted to please you!

Are you sure about that??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"personally i would guess from your pic with a hand print on your bum that you like being spanked.

Most guys will be only too happy to please you!

not all of us are the selfish type.

Well, I certainly wouldn't make my pic public, then I wouldn't get any bloody messages

With a body like that i would do WHATEVER you wanted to please you!

Are you sure about that??

Try me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a few general / random comments.

Firstly, tell him in conversation and chat - unless your requests are particularly demanding I shouldn't imagine that he would bat an eyelid and would happily include it as part of play.

Sometimes though these things can just develop organically.

I have recently found that my current bed partner likes his hair pulled and a knee placed firmly in his bollocks when he is being kissed - we found that out by accident, but he asked me to do it again and it now makes us both horny.

Don't be afraid of asking the nice / quiet guys either. In every day life I am very laid back and chilled but in the bedroom apparently I am 'subconciously dominant' (not my interpretation, but that of a meet) in that I don't set out to be that way but do tend to take a more assertive stance.

The only thing I would say as a slight warning is get to know your meets and develop a trust with them so that you know they will test your boundaries in a respectful and safe manner - and not take things too far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First time posting a thread out with the Scotland forum so please be gentle

If that's what you want from a meet though why would you meet someone that absolutely wasn't into it? Maybe freaking potentials out is a good thing if you're not going to be compatible, and to be honest I'd rather have the conversation before about levels of roughness than during and him get carried away or be uncomfortable.

I like it rough sometimes, but not all the time. I'll chat to potential meets about what they're looking for and possible kinks, but for a first meet I would keep it just to a bit of spanking and hair pulling and build up any Dom/sub activity once I know them a bit better but it's always known that will be the intention and not something I'd spring on some poor unsuspecting guy who just wanted a more 'vanilla' type meet x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I didnt want to put it on my profile due to the risk of attracting the wrong sort of people. I will however approach the subject during initial conversation as Im guessing thats best!

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I didnt want to put it on my profile due to the risk of attracting the wrong sort of people. I will however approach the subject during initial conversation as Im guessing thats best!"

Surely putting something on your profile will reduce the risk of attracting the wrong people???

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By *rsFine-MrBallsCouple
over a year ago

markinch

"I didnt want to put it on my profile due to the risk of attracting the wrong sort of people. I will however approach the subject during initial conversation as Im guessing thats best!

Surely putting something on your profile will reduce the risk of attracting the wrong people???

Like bite me , whip me , spank me , lol mmmmmm

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I didnt want to put it on my profile due to the risk of attracting the wrong sort of people. I will however approach the subject during initial conversation as Im guessing thats best!

Surely putting something on your profile will reduce the risk of attracting the wrong people???

Like bite me , whip me , spank me , lol mmmmmm"

Well, I wouldn't want to scare them away that quickly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, I wouldn't want to scare them away that quickly!

Not scared! in fact, quite excited by the prospect!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I didnt want to put it on my profile due to the risk of attracting the wrong sort of people. I will however approach the subject during initial conversation as Im guessing thats best!"

Doesn't need detail...just a hint at your interests. I mention I am sub and those that are interested in that will usually mention it!

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Well, I wouldn't want to scare them away that quickly!

Not scared! in fact, quite excited by the prospect!

Trust me, you are few and far between! Damn the bloody distance!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First time posting a thread out with the Scotland forum so please be gentle

i'd say in your profile explain you like it quite rough and i'm certain you will find men who will slap spank choke and spit on you and leave you feeling well and truly used.

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By *rsFine-MrBallsCouple
over a year ago

markinch

Well, I wouldn't want to scare them away that quickly!

Not scared! in fact, quite excited by the prospect!

Trust me, you are few and far between! Damn the bloody distance!

Lol no that far lol

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"First time posting a thread out with the Scotland forum so please be gentle

Drop the word submissive on your profile.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, I wouldn't want to scare them away that quickly!

Not scared! in fact, quite excited by the prospect!

Trust me, you are few and far between! Damn the bloody distance!

Do I need to make sure you two are kept separated in my friends list?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just drop it into conversation with him and see how he reacts. Or if you're already doing it then try and get him to treat you rough.

I suspect most guys would give it a go, wether they are any good at it or not would be for you to decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, I wouldn't want to scare them away that quickly!

Not scared! in fact, quite excited by the prospect!

Trust me, you are few and far between! Damn the bloody distance!

Do I need to make sure you two are kept separated in my friends list?

ps Foxy is on top

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, I wouldn't want to scare them away that quickly!

Not scared! in fact, quite excited by the prospect!

Trust me, you are few and far between! Damn the bloody distance!

Do I need to make sure you two are kept separated in my friends list?

ps Foxy is on top

Sounds good to me!

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Ask them which of your public photos they like best, if they say your profile photo then I would say you are halfway there

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Well, I wouldn't want to scare them away that quickly!

Not scared! in fact, quite excited by the prospect!

Trust me, you are few and far between! Damn the bloody distance!

Do I need to make sure you two are kept separated in my friends list?

ps Foxy is on top

Sounds good to me!

You cheeky buggers!! I'll go tops easily!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, I wouldn't want to scare them away that quickly!

Not scared! in fact, quite excited by the prospect!

Trust me, you are few and far between! Damn the bloody distance!

Do I need to make sure you two are kept separated in my friends list?

ps Foxy is on top

Sounds good to me!

You cheeky buggers!! I'll go tops easily!

Deal!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cough

private room?

Dont you love fabs

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Its not that it scares some men, its just simply that its not in their nature to be rough....and they are not comfortable doing it.

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By *itzWoman
over a year ago

south wales

"I was advised to add what I like into my profile, as if brought up during conversation seemed to scare quite a few men away!

Since I have done that, my messages have reduced drastically! So I guess it proves my point unfortunately

Less is surely more in this case. Better to communicate it as you have on profile or in chat messages to find the people who are into the same kinks as you. After all, this is a swingers site and as such there are less BDSMers than there may be on other sites, but we are out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be honest. If that's you want tell them. Would you rather them say there not intrested or get a boring shag?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not my thing. The last time i trif it, my ex said to tie her up and do what i wanted. So, i tied her up and went to the pub!

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Ask them which of your public photos they like best, if they say your profile photo then I would say you are halfway there

I meant 'avatar photo'

Doh

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By *otwifeguyMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Just be up front and straight from the off . There are loads of guys like me that like a woman who is into that . Just ask that's what you want and find the guys to deliver !!!

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