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You don’t look at the mantelpiece…

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By *ouples_EroticaXXX OP   Couple
21 weeks ago

manchester

You don’t look at the mantelpiece…When you’re poking the fire.

Just for fun but what other similar pearls of sexual wisdom have you heard?

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By *eirdscienceMan
21 weeks ago

Postwick

To score a hit stay half an inch from the shit

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By *eedsmale36Man
21 weeks ago

Leeds

An old ex-miner friend of mine used to say : “marry a woman who can cook, you can get a fuck anywhere”

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By *odrigoRomeroMan
21 weeks ago

Twixt Purgatory & Palookaville

When the river runs red, take the dirt road instead.

Eeeww I know it's a bit gross and old but made me chuckle first time round and sure there'll be some who've not heard it.

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By *heonlycunnilinguyMan
21 weeks ago

Yeovil

As Richard Burton once said in a film " A hole, is a hole, is a hole"!

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By *illiam101000Man
21 weeks ago

Melton Mowbray


"An old ex-miner friend of mine used to say : “marry a woman who can cook, you can get a fuck anywhere”

Ha ha very right. My ex told me when we first started seeing each other that she couldn't cook, I didn't believe her. I should have listened more carefully. 😆

"

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago


"An old ex-miner friend of mine used to say : “marry a woman who can cook, you can get a fuck anywhere”

Ha ha very right. My ex told me when we first started seeing each other that she couldn't cook, I didn't believe her. I should have listened more carefully. 😆

"

Equally an old joiner to whom I was apprenticed gave me this pearl on telling him I was dating someone

You’re not doing it right until her legs stop shaking and the neighbours on either side know your name.

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By *ax6593Man
21 weeks ago

tyneside

When checking out women in bars !

Marks out of two I’d give her ONE

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By *incepiesMan
21 weeks ago

Nottingham (ish)

Makes me cringe every time I hear it🤢 but

"Every hole's a goal!!"

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By *herry delightWoman
21 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

Sex is like pizza: even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.

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By *herry delightWoman
21 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.

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By *WANDTGCouple
21 weeks ago

Borough of Greenwich

Had a hole like a magicians pocket !

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By *umblefunMan
21 weeks ago

London/ South East

BOBFOC… Body Off Baywatch Face Off Crimewatch.

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By *amescoupleCouple
21 weeks ago

north walsham

Sex is like maths.

Add bed

Subtract clothes

Divide legs and multiply.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
21 weeks ago

East Sussex

Women need to feel loved to want sex, men need sex to feel loved. Basically we're fucked '

Billy Connolly

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By *andPextraCouple
21 weeks ago

North West

Up bum, no babies.

Said often by an old yorkshire colleague

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By *ammer300Man
21 weeks ago

Warrington

Only cowards and couches pull out, guy at work when asked why he had 3 kids to 3 mums

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