FabSwingers.com forum: Attractive v Enthusiastic

By *r. Darcy OP Man
11 weeks ago

Louth

Where do people stand on attractiveness versus enthusiasm?

Many people are naturally anxious about their bodies or attractiveness, we're only human after all. But I think genuine enthusiasm beats conventional attractiveness every time. Give me a playmate who is genuinely up for it any day over an aloof supermodel or mechanical pornstar. The beauty of the Fabswingers community for me is that being natural and enthusiastic actually make a woman incredibly attractive no matter how she looks. Also, being desired in this way is good for our mental health and general wellbeing. So well done all you enthusiastic Fab swingers, you're gorgeous every one of you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

What about the enthusiastic super models or porn stars. They need love too.

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By *r. Darcy OP Man
11 weeks ago

Louth

My bad - I meant supermodel or pornstar types who show a lack of enthusiasm.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 20/07/24 10:56:37]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

Well it's comforting to know that it doesn't matter what women look like as long as they're enthusiastic. However although I like to know that my partners are enthusiastic about being with me I also want to find them physically attractive.

I do understand what you're saying though.

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By *issmorganWoman
11 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I get what you're saying, but I do genuinely have to be attracted to someone before it gets further.

That being said, I don't expect models or super fit, I just need to fancy them.

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By *r. Darcy OP Man
11 weeks ago

Louth

I totally get what you're saying about fancying them. It might be different for Fab Swingers women as opposed to men on here as I'm guessing women get a lot more offers than men and so can exercise more choice.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I totally get what you're saying about fancying them. It might be different for Fab Swingers women as opposed to men on here as I'm guessing women get a lot more offers than men and so can exercise more choice."

I said this on another thread. Women don't have more choice, of the thousands of men on here once you've eliminated the ones whose filters exclude you, the ones you don't find attractive or who don't find you attractive, the ones that distance excludes etc women are left with a fairly limited choice.

We are however constantly exhorted to stop being so picky, just give men a chance or be less choosy.

However I agree mutual enthusiasm is lovely everyone wants to feel wanted

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By *ortyairCouple
11 weeks ago

Wallasey

There has to be physical attraction first. As for enthusiasm that's difficult to gauge until after a meet I think.

I love to feel wanted but I'm not soft enough to know that guys can say one thing, anything in fact, to get you into bed. They can be quite pefuctary then because maybe they don't fancy me as much as they said initially.

So it's definitely attraction. Enthusiasm is nice from guys who genuinely want to be with you, but other guys, "player types", can use this initially to just get a shag.

Mrs x

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By *oxy jWoman
11 weeks ago

somerset

i find guys who have that ill fuck anything attituded a major turn off ..

for me there has to be sexual attraction or its going nowhere and its not the only thing needed im not here to shag anyone im here to have swinging fun with other sexy peeps who are on the same page ...

not being funny but alot of guys are here to ''unload'' ''anyhole a goal'' lucky there are guys who wont fuck anything and get what swinging is and have preferences and looking for sexual attraction too

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By *issmorganWoman
11 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

We are however constantly exhorted to stop being so picky, just give men a chance or be less choosy.

However I agree mutual enthusiasm is lovely everyone wants to feel wanted"

This Is spot on Mrs N

I'm not meeting just now and use quite a few filters, so J don't get so much mail.

When they're not as tight, I get so many of the people I'm not looking for ie miles away, smokers, people playing away or too young.

Just being a woman on here doesn't mean you are always meeting, even when I was, I didn't find someone who I found attractive and connected to that often tbh.

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By *r. Darcy OP Man
11 weeks ago

Louth

You're right, I'm sure there are guys on here who take the any hole's a goal attitude, which is highly disrespectful. I just hope there are also guys on here who find women very attractive purely on attiude and their sense of fun and sexual enthusiasm. I guess what I'm getting at is that great sex, especially on first meets, doesn't have to be determined on looks alone.

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By *ortyairCouple
11 weeks ago

Wallasey

"You're right, I'm sure there are guys on here who take the any hole's a goal attitude, which is highly disrespectful. I just hope there are also guys on here who find women very attractive purely on attiude and their sense of fun and sexual enthusiasm. I guess what I'm getting at is that great sex, especially on first meets, doesn't have to be determined on looks alone. "
But how do you about someone's attitude, sense of fun and srxual enthusiasm until you've meet them?

Surely you make decisions to meet someone initially from an attraction, you must fancy them.

We've made some mistakes, not many thankfully, and had horrible meets. It's difficult to judge the 'intangibles that make for a great meet, but it starts with attraction.

Mrs x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

If you press the quote button under the thread you're responding to we can see who you're talking to

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

East Sussex

I think the point is that you find certain aspects of women attractive that aren't necessarily physical.

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By *riel13Woman
11 weeks ago

Northampton

Attractiveness has nothing to do with conventional good looks but enthusiasm doesn't override attractiveness

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By *r. Darcy OP Man
11 weeks ago

Louth

I suppose that's the value of a social meet first. It's not a guarantee but should act as a good filter. I'm sorry to hear you've had some disasterous meets, this must be one of the risks of being a swinger. Perhaps you should start a separate post on here on bad experiences and what you've learnt about how to avoid them, or even how to not feel used after them and stay positive. Just a polite suggestion - it could be very helpful to a lot of people.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
11 weeks ago

Leeds

I need to be attracted to someone, that doesn't mean I'm looking for a super model.

I also need to be able to engage with them outside of the sex.

One without the other doesn't cut it.

Mrs

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
11 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

But what about the mechanical or aloof people with nothing outstanding about their looks?

I'm not going to be enthusiastic about engaging with someone who isn't enthusiastic about engaging with me.

I'm also not going to be enthusiastic about engaging with someone I don't find attractive.

If I'm not actively enthused by the person, I ain't fucking them

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