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"There's always a few arseholes who spoilt it for the rest of us. " I know, don’t want biased towards all single guys on here, some just make it hard  | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" If they’ve not read your profile that’s an instant delete. I don’t waste time with polite no thanks unless it’s a genuinely nice message now The minute I get the ick from anything at all it’s instant block. | |||
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"There's always a few arseholes who spoilt it for the rest of us. " nobody ruins it for you they ruin it for themselves but you want to use that as an excuse for yourself getting nowhere ... you only ruin it for yourself nobody else | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit If they’ve not read your profile that’s an instant delete. I don’t waste time with polite no thanks unless it’s a genuinely nice message now The minute I get the ick from anything at all it’s instant block. " I think maby we will take a leaf out of your book! We’re to nice | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" its easy speak to those you want to speak too delete the rest and block its that simple you need thick skin on this scene or they will just try and walk all over you... im a big blocker anyone im not interested in is block that way we dont cross paths again well that is until the open another account but it works ive 1000s on my blog list | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" Take a look at our profile. We'd been though and struggled with this. I think our profile will help you. If people don't do what it asks, it's an instant delete. It's honestly the only way to deal with the pure volume of messages. You need to learn to be ruthless, unfortunately so of the good ones will get caught in the cross fire. Great post btw Sarah xx | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit its easy speak to those you want to speak too delete the rest and block its that simple you need thick skin on this scene or they will just try and walk all over you... im a big blocker anyone im not interested in is block that way we dont cross paths again well that is until the open another account but it works ive 1000s on my blog list" Totally agree with all that you do need a thick skin on here that's for sure | |||
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"That’s a good idea, il have a touch up" Apologies, I also should gave mentioned you have a great profile !! you guys both look amazing xx | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" Honestly OP we are exactly the same, we wouldn't mind trying out a meet with a single guy and unfortunately our local club don't allow them so hard to find someone organically so opened our messages up to single guys and honestly its shocking some of the crap we've been sent, has really put us off. Hopefully we will find the right guy to experiment with sometime but not sure it will happen from fab | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" Oh there are definitely good single guys out there we have a few we meet but equally there are some right weird ones who do spoil it for the rest | |||
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"There's always a few arseholes who spoilt it for the rest of us. nobody ruins it for you they ruin it for themselves but you want to use that as an excuse for yourself getting nowhere ... you only ruin it for yourself nobody else"  | |||
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"That’s a good idea, il have a touch up Apologies, I also should gave mentioned you have a great profile !! you guys both look amazing xx" Thankyou!! And so do you | |||
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"Report anyone who sends abuse or offers money or gifts. How about blocking single men and searching out the ones you think you'd like got meet?" I did report and block straight away, because at least if they contact us I feel if gives us a better understanding of their character in the way they present. | |||
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"Couples do this too and much much worse " Not experienced it worse from a couple tbh | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" I always read profiles, and be polite, maybe thats why its hard to meet genuine people sometimes, just keep plugging away through the idiots, | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" Every walk of life has one bad egg even in this lifestyle. Don't let one moron spoil your fun. Block function is brilliant I've found .
Happy swinging guys | |||
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"Opened ours for our party a while ago and have left it so. Have been pleasantly surprised with the majority, respectful messages etc (yeah we know), in a lot of cases better messages than many couples.. D has been a single in the lifestyle and understands the fine line guys have to tread, so we have patience, but he laid out our expectations of any contacting clearly and any who don't abide we simply ignore or block if they persist. Don't delete unsolicited friend requests l, just ignore, they can't send another "Unsolicited friend requests we like to accept, browse the photos then remove as a friend  | |||
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"Report anyone who sends abuse or offers money or gifts. How about blocking single men and searching out the ones you think you'd like got meet? I did report and block straight away, because at least if they contact us I feel if gives us a better understanding of their character in the way they present." You don't feel their profile does that? | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit Take a look at our profile. We'd been though and struggled with this. I think our profile will help you. If people don't do what it asks, it's an instant delete. It's honestly the only way to deal with the pure volume of messages. You need to learn to be ruthless, unfortunately so of the good ones will get caught in the cross fire. Great post btw Sarah xx" That’s interesting and sad that you have to give rules for messaging. Totally understand why you do this. We don’t as it helps us to instantly see people’s message style and we know who to block immediately. | |||
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"Report anyone who sends abuse or offers money or gifts. How about blocking single men and searching out the ones you think you'd like got meet? I did report and block straight away, because at least if they contact us I feel if gives us a better understanding of their character in the way they present. You don't feel their profile does that? " No I don’t | |||
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"There's always a few arseholes who spoilt it for the rest of us. nobody ruins it for you they ruin it for themselves but you want to use that as an excuse for yourself getting nowhere ... I concur with your concurrence foxy... you only ruin it for yourself nobody else" | |||
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"There's always a few arseholes who spoilt it for the rest of us. I know, don’t want biased towards all single guys on here, some just make it hard "Is that not the objective of the exercise? Making it hard? | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" The do you have kids but is funny considering the start of your profile! | |||
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"It’s not just the single guys that don’t read profiles. Couples and women don’t either. Why not do the searching yourself? X" We do and have done in the past, but I like to see what they say in their first message. We had someone message us today, profile was great, everything we wanted to hear, not bad photos. First message asking us to shit on him | |||
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"It’s not just the single guys that don’t read profiles. Couples and women don’t either. Why not do the searching yourself? X We do and have done in the past, but I like to see what they say in their first message. We had someone message us today, profile was great, everything we wanted to hear, not bad photos. First message asking us to shit on him" Nothing surprises me on fab anymore  haha sorry it did tickle me! X | |||
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"It’s not just the single guys that don’t read profiles. Couples and women don’t either. Why not do the searching yourself? X We do and have done in the past, but I like to see what they say in their first message. We had someone message us today, profile was great, everything we wanted to hear, not bad photos. First message asking us to shit on him Nothing surprises me on fab anymore haha sorry it did tickle me! X"Course it’s hilarious! Go in, land one each then head back out, unfortunately we’d get stage fright, maby I could just post it | |||
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"Some couples are as bad to be fair I have them blocked on this profile and as half a couple we've had some proper shit messages from couples too. I've no doubt some women also don't read profiles, however I'm not looking for them, but have had winks and messages despite being straight. Not reading a profile is a good filter and you can tell straight away and just delete them. " this is why i blocked couples and decided ill meet them in clubs and otherways but not via fab male driven profiles can be just as bad as the worse guys mrude and entitled asking to meet with out there partners knowing and im different im part of a couple nope your no different that the others who act like idiots | |||
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"We been in here 6 weeks and 90 per cent of single guys are fine some little demanding but I tell them to read our profile in detail we are happy to chat etc at present however the last day as seen two t$$ts I won’t name them but one guy a solicitor from Burbage telling us that we should remove any information about us doing any outdoor play that states only the two of us in a very secret place and for no one else also tells me everyone he knows are talking about us etc etc a really aggressive person who I politely told to go forth then worse last night a guy from Nuneaton messaged us to say I bet your son loves getting excited to your wife body ! Again I gave him a volley of pedo abuse how did he know we have a son and could our son be eg aged 5 or 25 unfortunately for the guy he as left his ugly mug photo on his profile so it now leaves option how one takes this further !! We are considering calling it a day it’s been a good ride but the recent experience is shocking " Oh I’m sorry to hear this  there are some great guys, just have to sift through the garbage x | |||
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"We been in here 6 weeks and 90 per cent of single guys are fine some little demanding but I tell them to read our profile in detail we are happy to chat etc at present however the last day as seen two t$$ts I won’t name them but one guy a solicitor from Burbage telling us that we should remove any information about us doing any outdoor play that states only the two of us in a very secret place and for no one else also tells me everyone he knows are talking about us etc etc a really aggressive person who I politely told to go forth then worse last night a guy from Nuneaton messaged us to say I bet your son loves getting excited to your wife body ! Again I gave him a volley of pedo abuse how did he know we have a son and could our son be eg aged 5 or 25 unfortunately for the guy he as left his ugly mug photo on his profile so it now leaves option how one takes this further !! We are considering calling it a day it’s been a good ride but the recent experience is shocking Oh I’m sorry to hear this there are some great guys, just have to sift through the garbage x"The 2nd guy is rather concerning in more ways the one how much does he know about us as he a interest in under 18 etc however every dog as it’s day | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" Fab is full of life’s chancers, who just like the look of a profile pic and fire off a random message. I think it is made worse by ladies and couples not replying or seeing to read messages, even when you own a message that the bard would be proud of. But that’s Fab, isn’t it. The joy is when you find likeminded playmates to play with. | |||
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"There's always a few arseholes who spoilt it for the rest of us. nobody ruins it for you they ruin it for themselves but you want to use that as an excuse for yourself getting nowhere ... you only ruin it for yourself nobody else" Well said. It's pathetic the amount of men who blame their own failings on other men. | |||
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"...I think maby we will take a leaf out of your book! We’re too nice" Nice is for afternoon tea parties with the vicar. For fab, leave it at the door, unless people list it in their interests, it's not helping | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" There are and I’m sorry that you’ve had an unpleasant experience. My advice, which is echoed by others here is to set the following Filters… Not verified or (can mail you) Block them Newbies (can mail you) Block them No public photos on profile (blocked) Block them Not a site supporter (can mail you) Block them This may seem ruthless but it will result in a considerably better filtered set of men who will be able to contact you. Some of the Hey, FAF / abusive / time wasting single men on this site will have not invested in and cultivated their profiles and will not pass these filters. Obviously this isn’t a total solution as there are always exceptions but it will result in a better looking inbox. TSFx | |||
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"To be fair women, men & couples can all be bad for it. I blocked single guys pretty quickly on my singles profile before I even had any pics up I had cocks in the inbox telling me how beautiful I was - like do they think complimenting a blank profile will get them a fuck never mind sticking their minging cock with their ridiculous complements and statements of what they want to do with a woman they haven't even seen - any holes a goal though right. We don't actually get many blokes that are rude on the couples profile most are quite respectful - bar today's prick. It maybe an idea to block all unverified people to cut out some crap, or block the blokes and find your own. Mrs " I didn’t know you can block unverified! I will look into this, thankyou | |||
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"I'm having the opposite to this everything I message on the site I'm respectful and send a live taken face pic and normally send something to show i have read a profile I never get a response. Any advice I can use to remedy this?" Your profile look a little blank, try maby adding more photos and some more info Maby? | |||
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Good luck. | |||
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"I closed my filters four years ago, and life is a lot better that way. (Yes, all demographics do it. The worst of men are what's been said here and more. Women tend to be monosyllabic and entitled. Couples - the men tend to treat me like a sex toy, the women tend to look down on me because I don't have a man. Trans people are among the best and the worst of the site.)" ^spitting truths here^  | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" We get offers for money as well but we just block them | |||
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"The guys that have not got a clue don't ruin it for the genuine guys.they make their message and profiles really stand out. We use it as a really affective filter." Good point. Another metric to consider is the number of verifications and not necessarily what's in the text. The description isn't a tinder or bonkathon report | |||
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"Bit of a generalisation. Plenty of single fems and couples who are equally as bad! You'd be surprised at how little so many people don't bother replying even if you've ticked all the boxes and read their profile 29 times. " That is very true ! We are guilty of this at times. We get so fed up with fake profiles and time wasters but unfortunately sometimes take it out on the good guys, or delete messages and miss out on genuine people. It's honestly a mine field at times. Sarah xx | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" You hit the nail on the head! Great guys out there but so many creeps that we all get tarred with the same brush. | |||
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"There's always a few arseholes who spoilt it for the rest of us. " Nope, they make the good guys stand out. | |||
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"I think paid membership would out the fakers and wasters." I'm not sure it would. There are some fake accounts who clearly live for this site, on here constantly. I bet they would still pay. As OP states. A full video verification would help out alot of the fakes. But that would obviously be incredibly time consuming for the admin xx | |||
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"I think paid membership would out the fakers and wasters." This is what elon thought when introducing paid blue ticks on Twitter. As a result, troll, misinformators, grifters and russian/Chinese not farms pay for a blue ticket and jump the queue the algorithm set. Paid membership doesn’t solve the issue. Moderation does, but it costs money and time. | |||
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"We have single men blocked. Some decent ones to found but too many have one or more of the following characteristics. Wasters, losers, substance abusers Bullies, soul thieves, religious control freaks Liars, COVID deniers Daily Mail readers, just wanna breed ya Chin-less wonders with no moral compass Who can't even remember you name" Yep, the forums are full of these. Blocked and ridiculed on other social networks, they moved to (or added to their list) a swinging site
Considering that these people usually mate once a year when lucky, it is natural | |||
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"The main issue is, there is no idiot filter other than the one you put yourself. There are many idiots who keep behaving like complete dicks, spoil the fun for the good ones, but ultimately don’t get kicked out of the site. Doesn’t look like reporting is worth the effort, and in the rare cases when they get banned for inappropriate behaviour they come back with a new profile. I guess it’s an indicator of how many scumbags and misfit are in society " We got a 2 day ban as a mod had suggested we were looking for paid services (we’d ask for boudoir photography recommendations), yet the men offering an orgy with his mum/labrador or asking if he could “split my arsehole open” was left unchecked. Go figure. | |||
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"The main issue is, there is no idiot filter other than the one you put yourself. There are many idiots who keep behaving like complete dicks, spoil the fun for the good ones, but ultimately don’t get kicked out of the site. Doesn’t look like reporting is worth the effort, and in the rare cases when they get banned for inappropriate behaviour they come back with a new profile. I guess it’s an indicator of how many scumbags and misfit are in society We got a 2 day ban as a mod had suggested we were looking for paid services (we’d ask for boudoir photography recommendations), yet the men offering an orgy with his mum/labrador or asking if he could “split my arsehole open” was left unchecked. Go figure. "Look, in a different section of the forums I ridiculed a couple of antivaxxers by simply demonstrating their abysmal ignorance. I wasn’t going easy on them, but I wasn’t being rude, wasn’t calling for their imprisonment or for them to be prosecuted and wasn’t even insulting them. Guess who got the 3 day ban from the forums? Hilarious | |||
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"Yep, they're blocked from us as well EXCEPT the odd one who we've purposely gone looking for. Once as a test we unblocked single men one night and logged back in the following morning. Inbox was overflowing, hundreds of winks and friend requests. Some of the messages we got were at best downright rude and at worst, disgusting. Issue is there's too many on here who see this site as easy pickings and they can easily get a fuck, and then get frustrated when they find out it isn't. " The self entitlement is what genuinely staggers me. I am on fab swingers, therefore i MUST want to shag any old bloke, with no pictures, no profile, no effort in a message…. and never mind our profile makes zero suggestion of wanting men anyhow. But they still feel inclined to either “convince” me why I’m wrong ,or berate me for having the cheek to want to choose my own partners based on my own standards  | |||
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Photos of the guys mum??
An orgy with his mum and a Labrador??
We were sent a message from a guy who’s photos were taking from porn, I reported him, even sending admin a link to the videos in question, I saw this as trying to safeguard the people who may have met with him. Profile was still going for some time after | |||
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"Some of these comments are crazy! What people have been sent
Photos of the guys mum??
An orgy with his mum and a Labrador??
We were sent a message from a guy who’s photos were taking from porn, I reported him, even sending admin a link to the videos in question, I saw this as trying to safeguard the people who may have met with him. Profile was still going for some time after"I am utterly convinced that some people are here just to make fun of others. They are trolls. They know in real life they wouldn’t get any attention so they try to get it by being obnoxious or by stirring controversy (you can see many in the forums), any reaction bad or good is a result for them. I don’t believe they wanted an orgy with their dog or to involve their mum (although there’s a lot of fucked up people), it’s lies they write just to get a reaction. Ignore and block | |||
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"There's always a few arseholes who spoilt it for the rest of us. I know, don’t want biased towards all single guys on here, some just make it hard "Single guys of a certain type are the number 1 reason fab is quite hard for single guys, also the outnumber everyone 20-1, that's why I mainly go to socials they've not got the bollocks to walk in alone, so never more than 2-3 of us. | |||
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"It's those types of reasons as to why I rarely send a message anymore. If someone is interested in me then they'll probably let me know by sending a message, or at least wink. I bet there is a lot of genuine guys on here, but we get lost in between all of the crap and I can imagine it's like finding a needle in a haystack at times. " no you dont get lost in all the crap ...stop blaming others if you dont stand out thats down to you nobody else and just like zillions of other guys your not going to get anywhere unless some one wants to meet you its that simple | |||
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"We find (despite the numbers) the right single guy is the true unicorn on here. Rarer to find than the right single female. But keep hope because there are some great guys out there. Personally we find spaces where your first contact is in person better for finding/filtering what we want. Like organised socials/club/parties or just vanilla nights out. I think online the quality of the verifications can help. Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do about the Rampage of terrible messages out there. Mr" Some are quite funny and I like to wind them up, but i think a social gathering is probably the way forward. A respectful single guy we are both attracted to is definitely a true unicorn | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" There are some really good guys definitely. I know seven or eight outside of couples who are really great in every respect. Problem you will always have is that the badly behaved/pond dwellers with no clue as to how to be in social company will always have a much higher profile, as everyone focuses on them, rather than take the trouble to find and get to know the good guys who don't shout the odds from the rooftops. You don't hear much said about great single men on the forums, but the idiots get talked about all the time. Control the narrative yourselves by doing your research and ask to meet them at a club, or socially (only). Genuine guys will rock up just for a social and will be happy to take the time to get to know someone, developing a connection. Those men aren't chancers who just want to 'get off', but who genuinely understand and want to be in the lifestyle. Dictate your own story - good ones will walk with you along that path. | |||
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"There's always a few arseholes who spoilt it for the rest of us. nobody ruins it for you they ruin it for themselves but you want to use that as an excuse for yourself getting nowhere ... you only ruin it for yourself nobody else" Not completely true. While I'd agree the narrative for us as an individual is in our own hands it's still very difficult to stand out with all but a few. There are a LOT if people who's attitude is such that single guys are 'all the same'. On Fab I've seen it become more and more of a wasteland as a single guy, with people being unwilling (none in several years) to get to know me, while as a reasonably regular attender at specific club events I've been able to establish a really positive reputation and have been successful there as a result. That lack of so much as a wink or message has to come down to something......numbers game/apathy/general mistrust/anything else. I've made a lot of effort to make my profile as good as I can, been respectful and genuine in sending messages, only including face photos (always) and referencing the profile I'm messaging, making sure I genuinely feel I fit what they're looking for. Still absolutely nothing on a consistent basis on Fab. To be completely unsuccessful online, but very much so at a club tells the story. There's got to be a very real reason why that's so. If someone fails in both then it's obvious they need to be a lot better, or recognise their shortcomings. I'd never suggest good guys sink to the level of the badly behaved/poor approach types, but having high standards, staying true to yourself and having class also counts for absolutely nothing on here. | |||
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"Most of the single guys on here are horrendous specimens. Block them all and message the ones you like the look of x" Disagree with such a derogatory sweeping statement! Most of the single guys we've encountered have been nothing but polite and courteous. Yes occasionally some are not but could also say the same for single females and couples S | |||
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"Feel free to disagree. I disagree with your statement that most are decent. Out of the ones we've had contact with on here 2 have been great, polite, respectful and courteous. The vast majority of the rest have been absolutely appalling. This has to to the the need for us to blanket block them all & search out the few diamonds in the rough. " Cool | |||
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"Most of the single guys on here are horrendous specimens. Block them all and message the ones you like the look of x" ......and this makes my longer point above in a lot less words. | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" So many cranks. I say that as a pretty much single guy too | |||
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"Most of the single guys on here are horrendous specimens. Block them all and message the ones you like the look of x ......and this makes my longer point above in a lot less words. " It definitely boils down to trust for us. Some horrendous messages in the beginning made us put our guard up. | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" This is why the genuine singles have trouble arranging meets and making friends because of the weirdos that are on the site for the wrong reason | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit This is why the genuine singles have trouble arranging meets and making friends because of the weirdos that are on the site for the wrong reason " Absolutely. I gave up messaging on here a long time ago - I feel much better for it too. Was simply a waste of my time, knowing there was zero chance of a response, no matter what I did. So much better to not bother mentally. | |||
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"Most of the single guys on here are horrendous specimens. Block them all and message the ones you like the look of x ......and this makes my longer point above in a lot less words. It definitely boils down to trust for us. Some horrendous messages in the beginning made us put our guard up." I sympathise with that a lot having seen some of the messages female friends get. I used to work on the basis that they'd select themselves out, with the good guys floating to the top - but that doesn't happen. | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit This is why the genuine singles have trouble arranging meets and making friends because of the weirdos that are on the site for the wrong reason Absolutely. I gave up messaging on here a long time ago - I feel much better for it too. Was simply a waste of my time, knowing there was zero chance of a response, no matter what I did. So much better to not bother mentally. " Although not really on topic, I visited Sauna Sauna Bi Day yesterday and was really shocked at the crowds of men following any couples around. It was a bit much for me and I headed in the opposite direction when I saw it. Embarrassing behaviour. I dont lnow if thats what the couples wanted but it seemed pretty clear they were probably not bi and wanted the woman. | |||
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"We've blocked all single men now, we were constantly being messaged by straight men asking if I wanted a real man very disrespectful and definitely not our dynamics. We know not all men are the same and On the plus side we have met some lovely single men in group socials and clubs. " Words fail me as to how some men can come out with such garbage. Almost certainly deluded - narcissistic at best! I feel embarrassed when I hear stuff like this. | |||
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"There's always a few arseholes who spoilt it for the rest of us. nobody ruins it for you they ruin it for themselves but you want to use that as an excuse for yourself getting nowhere ... you only ruin it for yourself nobody else" Not so according to several of my female friends. They've often said it puts them off bothering to read read messages due to the amount of bad ones. All of them have stated that some good ones will have slipped through the net as a result of their understandable frustration. If I'm honest I'd massively doubt women read all of their messages as pretty much all of them state that they get bombarded. Nothing else makes sense really. Also from personal experience I do really well in a club, but haven't had a single message (except from friends I already know) for over five years. As I always made a huge amount of effort with every single message, with the only outcome being stony silence I eventually came to the conclusion that I may as well have sent one-liners, 'Hi' messages and photos of my cock in the first place, as many do. The result has been exactly the same. Only difference was I wouldn't lower myself. If I didn't have success in a club environment I'd have thought 'fair enough, I'm obviously just ugly' or similar, but that not being so it's definitely down to Fab and the 'way things are' on here. | |||
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"I have a female friend on here that shows me some of the absolutely vile disgusting crap she receives.. threats of violence, rp etc. truly horrible!" A hundred per cent! I've seen the same. I despair that so many guys have zero standards in life. | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" You could block all single men. Then search, read their profile and message them first | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit You could block all single men. Then search, read their profile and message them first " Wait, I’ve just read that you already did that | |||
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"Most of the single guys on here are horrendous specimens. Block them all and message the ones you like the look of x Disagree with such a derogatory sweeping statement! Most of the single guys we've encountered have been nothing but polite and courteous. Yes occasionally some are not but could also say the same for single females and couples S " Agreed. I find most men to be fairly polite (even if they are not often what I’m looking for) and I have had to block very few people for really crossing a line. But then again, random dick pics or compliments on my nudes don’t bother me :shrug: I prefer men initiate the conversation so I leave my inbox open. For those that find it harder to sift through those types of emails, taking a “filter everyone and just message the people YOU like” is prob the best approach. | |||
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"The easiest way for couples and women to find the guys they want is to block them, be proactive and make first contact. That doesn't mean you have to message first. If you wink someone, they'll be able to message you. So you can express potential interest while at the same time putting the onus on them to make a good first impression with an opening message. Cuts down on sorting through a busy inbox, guarantees you'll be receiving a message from someone there's at least a chance you'll be interested in, and stops all and sundry knocking at your profile door. Simple. Effective. Efficient. And all you have to do is browse, look at the pretty pictures and words written and then tap the wink button. And then sit back and wait. 🤷♂️" ☝ | |||
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"The easiest way for couples and women to find the guys they want is to block them, be proactive and make first contact. That doesn't mean you have to message first. If you wink someone, they'll be able to message you. So you can express potential interest while at the same time putting the onus on them to make a good first impression with an opening message. Cuts down on sorting through a busy inbox, guarantees you'll be receiving a message from someone there's at least a chance you'll be interested in, and stops all and sundry knocking at your profile door. Simple. Effective. Efficient. And all you have to do is browse, look at the pretty pictures and words written and then tap the wink button. And then sit back and wait. 🤷♂️ ☝ "If only......it's a lovely thought. 🙄 | |||
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"The easiest way for couples and women to find the guys they want is to block them, be proactive and make first contact. Simple. Effective. Efficient. And all you have to do is browse, look at the pretty pictures and words written and then tap the wink button. And then sit back and wait. 🤷♂️" This is mostly what I do, however I'm going to have to disagree on the simple and efficient labels. Unless you are *incredibly* specific with your search filters, every single search gives 300+ results. Every single one. If I then do the exact same search but for women, I'll get something like 52 results. After a while, trawling though what you know is a list of 300+, even if you preemptively block lots of them to get them out of your next lot of seaech results, is a LOT of work. I already do an admin job, I don't want my sex life to be admin heavy too 😆 | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" That's really fucked me off ! Why do they do such things it's beyond me !  | |||
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"Most of the good guys should already have a few veris so that can be a good indication. " It should, but even then it can be a minefield. I have plenty over a protracted period, but some have said in the forums that they'd reject a single guy with 'too many verifications', which suggests it's a bit if a no-win in some respects. For me the key to being happy on here has been owning my own narrative, rather than constantly chasing the apparently impossible. I have a perpetually empty inbox, other than keeping in touch with friends from the clubs, but no longer send messages either. While it's perfectly acceptable for a message to not be replied to - sometimes apparently not even read - it's also liberating to not bother messaging either. Absolutely not worthmy time and effort (and I always used to put in a lot of thought into messages sent). As a result I have zero frustration and zero negative feelings about myself. I've seen how the constant silence and negativity has got to some mens psyche and it's never a good thing........but then single guys are generally looked down on by many on here as a starting point - although some deserve to be completely ignored/blocked. There's definitely a mindset from both sides, which is largely entrenched. One side needs to make enormous effort, resulting in a vacuum in many cases and the other is bombarded (often by rubbish/abusive attitudes), but knows they aren't required to make any effort whatsoever. As a result many don't and everything perpetuates, never getting any better. | |||
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"The easiest way for couples and women to find the guys they want is to block them, be proactive and make first contact. Simple. Effective. Efficient. And all you have to do is browse, look at the pretty pictures and words written and then tap the wink button. And then sit back and wait. 🤷♂️ This is mostly what I do, however I'm going to have to disagree on the simple and efficient labels. Unless you are *incredibly* specific with your search filters, every single search gives 300+ results. Every single one. If I then do the exact same search but for women, I'll get something like 52 results. After a while, trawling though what you know is a list of 300+, even if you preemptively block lots of them to get them out of your next lot of seaech results, is a LOT of work. I already do an admin job, I don't want my sex life to be admin heavy too 😆" .....but that's EXACTLY what single guys have to do. Apparently it's acceptable and expected one way, but not the other. Makes my last point perfectly. So glad I stopped messaging some time ago - feels so much nicer. | |||
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"Now blocked.. The majority were respectful in honesty, but couldn't be arsed with the constant "Hi, how are you" or "Mrs is hot", "Wanna meet"... 😴" Sadly all too common. | |||
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"To be clear we dont judge thoughts that are marriage especially when they inform us when asked. But to lie to us after they know we are a young Family and attempt to bring that to our doorstep is completely unacceptable. " | |||
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" Just opened up to single men, want to find someone genuine that has actually read our profile. Hardly any actually do or they wouldn’t message, when we reply with a polite no thankyou, we’re sometimes met with hostility and now some random “guy” messaged to offer us money and gifts for sex, then starting asking questions about if we have children in the second message!! Such a shame because I recon there are some amazing respectful guys out there, but it does scare us off a bit" We would report anything that ask questions like this So weirdo on here and the spoil it for genuine people | |||
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"We recently opened to single guys when the Mr was away for 2 weeks. There were a fair few assholes but also quite a few really respectful ones, that I would meet. The message volume was overwhelming and that can be time consuming. Will definitely open to single guys and do a few MFM meets, just takes time wading through so many messages. " Really nice to know some do take the trouble. Fully appreciate what a nightmare it can be though. | |||
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"Fuck ‘em, that’s what I say. " Errrrr!? 😂😉 | |||
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"The easiest way for couples and women to find the guys they want is to block them, be proactive and make first contact. Simple. Effective. Efficient. And all you have to do is browse, look at the pretty pictures and words written and then tap the wink button. And then sit back and wait. 🤷♂️ This is mostly what I do, however I'm going to have to disagree on the simple and efficient labels. Unless you are *incredibly* specific with your search filters, every single search gives 300+ results. Every single one. If I then do the exact same search but for women, I'll get something like 52 results. After a while, trawling though what you know is a list of 300+, even if you preemptively block lots of them to get them out of your next lot of seaech results, is a LOT of work. I already do an admin job, I don't want my sex life to be admin heavy too 😆" Has to be easier than an uncontrolled inbox though surely? 🤷♂️ At least it was when this was a couples profile meeting men. Admin is a ballache of course, but there needs to be some level of it, unless you just stick to clubs. | |||
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" .....but that's EXACTLY what single guys have to do. Apparently it's acceptable and expected one way, but not the other. Makes my last point perfectly. So glad I stopped messaging some time ago - feels so much nicer." You get 300+ every time you search for women?! Lucky you 😁 Must be way more round by you than by me. Most women I've ever had in my search results is 50 something. Much more manageable than (what is probably) thousands. | |||
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" Has to be easier than an uncontrolled inbox though surely? 🤷♂️ At least it was when this was a couples profile meeting men. Admin is a ballache of course, but there needs to be some level of it, unless you just stick to clubs. " And this is why I'm so grateful I live so close to a great club 😆😁 | |||
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" Has to be easier than an uncontrolled inbox though surely? 🤷♂️ At least it was when this was a couples profile meeting men. Admin is a ballache of course, but there needs to be some level of it, unless you just stick to clubs. And this is why I'm so grateful I live so close to a great club 😆😁" 💯%. Definitely helps. 😂 | |||
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"To help...Should the site not expand and categorise the filters in a better more expansive way to suit?" Personally I'm not sure what more filters you'd need. There age (and whether you're the age they're looking for), distance/location, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, smoking status, verified or not (and at least one by meeting in person), visible photos or not, the ability to discount new profiles, can accommodate or not, can travel or not - all there in the advanced search facility. Combine that with profile text and pictures and that should enable at least some semblance of interest/attraction? 🤔 | |||
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"To help...Should the site not expand and categorise the filters in a better more expansive way to suit?" Would be useful, but sadly although other sites have popped up over time no one has bothered to update Fab in any meaningful way. Suspect it might be just about taking the money. I'd agree there could do with being a lot more so people can break things down to suit. | |||
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"I guess it works both ways. Woman can be very rude as well and darn right ignorant. I'm a genuine, polite, and respectful man. I read the profiles and if they have certain conditions and I don't match, the I won't contact. What annoys me the most is when profiles say "only verified men", I'm new to the site and only have contacted some people (who I've found interesting) but I never get a reply, how can I get verified if nearly everyone ignores my messages (or doesn't have the respect to reply). Yes men can be a pain and so can woman, me I'm trying to expand my circle but why bother when I'm just ignored (hence why I stopped paying to be a supporter)." | |||
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