FabSwingers.com forum: Time wasters

By *in-n-Tonic OP Couple
13 weeks ago

East mids

Is anyone else having problem with arrangements on here, several times we have arranged a meet and they didn't show up, a few even ghosted us or blocked us.

Now I know some people just like the idea of a meet, and their arse falls out when it's time to turn up, but please remember you have ruined someone else's plans for that day.

We tried viewing verris, and chatting for a few days, to show we don't bite. But I'd say a good 50% now are just no shows. Please tell me it's not just us that gets this.

I do think the site needs a name and shame part, but I guess that could be open to abuse as well.

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By *JandCMCouple
13 weeks ago

cardiff

I have said before about there should be a list on here to add name of no shows or somewhere to report them.

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By *asstabMan
13 weeks ago

Manchester

I have been stood up so many times. I was once at a train station for about an hour, they were telling me the train was delayed. Needless to say they never showed up. I was gutted

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By *uckslut and MCouple
13 weeks ago

Poole

Nope not just you. We get let down all the time. We had a meet up last week. The rules, date, time and location we're set out quite clearly 24 hours before. 24 invites sent to confirmed 'yes'. 8 turned up.

Yes, single men let down couples all the time. NO, we don't need a bunch of messages off the back of this, saying you would not let us down. This also wastes time! Yes things happen. But if someone has gone to the effort arranging a meet. You've replied and accepted turning up to a meet. Turn up! It's rude not to, or at least message them to appoligise.

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By *xstevenxxMan
13 weeks ago

Ashbourne

"I have said before about there should be a list on here to add name of no shows or somewhere to report them.

May be some sort of red dot on your property file up where there’s an icon for photo verified

People could click on it and see if people had many non shows against them

Something has to be done - happens to makes aswell

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By *herryEatersCouple
13 weeks ago

East Cheshire

"Is anyone else having problem with arrangements on here, several times we have arranged a meet and they didn't show up, a few even ghosted us or blocked us.

Now I know some people just like the idea of a meet, and their arse falls out when it's time to turn up, but please remember you have ruined someone else's plans for that day.

We tried viewing verris, and chatting for a few days, to show we don't bite. But I'd say a good 50% now are just no shows. Please tell me it's not just us that gets this.

I do think the site needs a name and shame part, but I guess that could be open to abuse as well."

HELL YES !. It is definitely worse here now than before covid and site owner change. We have just been blocked by a couple for 'being pushy' when they were clearly stretching out our chat beyond reasonable limits, giving one unclear answer to three questions, not sharing photos to even an obvious imbalance etc. Luckily we've had very few no-shows other than one couple who actually appeared just after the pub shut lol.

Problem now is even getting a social with similar singles and couples !, opening messages read and ignored, our profile clearly not read, couples who turn out to be a single guy or utterly fake folk who have pinched photos from other sites (google reverse image search). Others simply have poor communication skills or clearly messaging while under the influence of something !. Some ghost us or leave site mid chat (or when discovered to be fake), others clearly only here for dirty chat. It's a nightmare now and we're at our wits end

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By *arla SwingerWoman
13 weeks ago

Somewhere

Absolutely wouldn't work. You'd get loads of folk with sour grapes abusing it. Also who gets to choose whose actually wasted someone's time or not?

Someone might have a valid reason for a no show. I'd far rather someone got cold feet and didn't turn up, vs going through with a social/meet with someone not wanting to be there

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
13 weeks ago

Bristol

Would definitely be an awkward one to enforce.

For example, we were arranging a meet with a couple once, got all the way to the Friday night and all was good to go.

We messaged them for the address at the time we agreed to leave and head to theirs and they decided to leave us on read for 3 hours.

We eventually had enough after seeing them online several times in that time (and ignored follow up messages).

We sent them a message to say we were done waiting and would be looking elsewhere and they accused us of being a timewaster and said we should have shown more patience.

Short of having some sort of jury system deciding who was at fault, who goes on the list?

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By *nkedguy777Man
13 weeks ago

Manchester

Absolutely a joke the amount of time wasters on here,I'm more inclined to think there just fantasists and have no intention of meeting at all

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By *issmorganWoman
13 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

The name and shame thing would be too open to abuse, so I don't agree with that.

I'm sorry if people are arranging meets and not showing, that's crap and please report them.

Some just have no intention of ever showing up.

I'm not meeting at the min, but when I did, I always had a social meet for a drink and chat first. If they didn't show, then I hadn't lost much as I can still take a book and enjoy the drink alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"Is anyone else having problem with arrangements on here, several times we have arranged a meet and they didn't show up, a few even ghosted us or blocked us.

Now I know some people just like the idea of a meet, and their arse falls out when it's time to turn up, but please remember you have ruined someone else's plans for that day.

We tried viewing verris, and chatting for a few days, to show we don't bite. But I'd say a good 50% now are just no shows. Please tell me it's not just us that gets this.

I do think the site needs a name and shame part, but I guess that could be open to abuse as well."

I think trying a video call before meeting is a good idea. It is much harder to stand someone up that you have spoken to face-to-face than it is to stand someone up that you've only spoken to through text.

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By *f.I.Like.It.I.Do.ItCouple
13 weeks ago

Keighley

Yep all the time. I’m more surprised if they do show up these days

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By *mooth StellaTV/TS
13 weeks ago

St.Neots

I think that certain people are arranging a meeting with me. Not showing up.Then a brand new profile appears which I suspect is the same person...Can this be prevented.?

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
13 weeks ago

Time wasters are mostly made up of fantasist, For those that are looking for meets and are messed around be it couples or singles if they haven't got proven veris do some research, check the people that have sent them a veri then check their veris, Ask for a video call or to cam up in chat to arrange the meet I bet 90% will so no to the call or cam

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
13 weeks ago

Sheffield

If you keep having people letting you down then maybe change your approach.

I do think people rely on fab too much for meeting. Clubs/socials are the best option.

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By *ubbyandwifeCouple
13 weeks ago

manchester

That’s why the wife so fed up of all these time wasters we even booked the hotel room and waited

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By *omptationMan
13 weeks ago

liverpool

It works the other way round too... I created this profile a while back but got monogamous and only really started using it in the last few weeks since ive been single again (luckily my only change to my pics is a haircut ha)

In that time i've arranged a few meets and turned up to each one:

One I knocked on the door and it was a false address.. when I tried to message them they had blocked me, so I can only assume they get off on winding people up...

The second I met up with and had a nice time with, only for their profile to get deleted the next day before they left a veri

The third was a couple I met on friday who havent been online since...

It's hard enough to get a meet without a veri, even worse when you're a single guy... but when you have people you've MET messing you about then you know it's not just the no-shows who are time-wasters

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By *oxy jWoman
13 weeks ago

somerset

ive not had nor has our couples profile had a timewaster in years we learnt along time ago that if you dont do the selection process properly then people will take the piss ... so if you keep attracting timewasters then maybe you need to view your selection process..

also we do everything via the site no apps no phone no email just fab ...also those of you who take it away from fab cant moan or report anyone if your doing contacts on other platforms

fab works perfect so its down to selection maybe should be better....

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By *oxy jWoman
13 weeks ago

somerset

"It works the other way round too... I created this profile a while back but got monogamous and only really started using it in the last few weeks since ive been single again (luckily my only change to my pics is a haircut ha)

In that time i've arranged a few meets and turned up to each one:

One I knocked on the door and it was a false address.. when I tried to message them they had blocked me, so I can only assume they get off on winding people up...

The second I met up with and had a nice time with, only for their profile to get deleted the next day before they left a veri

The third was a couple I met on friday who havent been online since...

nobody has to give you a veri there are alot of swinging couple that i know only meet guys once and then no more contact quite a few play that way

often heard couples laghing in clubs about giving guys wrong address so funny until it happens to them

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By *omptationMan
13 weeks ago

liverpool

In that time i've arranged a few meets and turned up to each one:

One I knocked on the door and it was a false address.. when I tried to message them they had blocked me, so I can only assume they get off on winding people up...

The second I met up with and had a nice time with, only for their profile to get deleted the next day before they left a veri

The third was a couple I met on friday who havent been online since...

nobody has to give you a veri there are alot of swinging couple that i know only meet guys once and then no more contact quite a few play that way

often heard couples laghing in clubs about giving guys wrong address so funny until it happens to them "

I know veris aren’t mandatory, but still would be polite to just leave one

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By *atentHeelsCouple
13 weeks ago

Salford

Yes. Many guys like the idea and make plans while whacking off. But when they’re done so is their motivation and never follow through.

Of course many are gents but time wasters are rife

It’s why we only meet at clubs now so if people don’t turn up, can still have fun

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By *lkGuyMagic24Man
13 weeks ago

Chislehurst

As a single male all of my no shows and ghosters have been “cuck couples” and females, I have no idea why not hard to say somethings come up or not interested anymore

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
13 weeks ago

Naughty Lane

"I have said before about there should be a list on here to add name of no shows or somewhere to report them.

Totally agree with this

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I've had it done to me both on fab and from other sites...

I'll either be stood up at the arranged location with no message from them yet they are online, or they disappear the day before like they've deleted their account or blocked me or I get let down last minute because something came up or even no reason given xx

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By *ymbunnyfitCouple
13 weeks ago

East Yorkshire

Had few guys cancelled last minute before meets . Very frustrating as we have very limited time for fun with others. Plus takes lots of arranging to try set a meeting up x

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By *eadingCouple1963Couple
13 weeks ago

Reading

"I have said before about there should be a list on here to add name of no shows or somewhere to report them.

Totally agree with this

But you didn’t show up to our arranged meet…….

See how easy it would be to abuse

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By *ilverfox for youMan
13 weeks ago

Hull

Same here .once had 250 messages between us arranged a meeting she left me hanging like a pollock .not nice when it happens .should be able to name and shame .i think they just get off on chat !

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By *punk n gushCouple
13 weeks ago

walmer

Would say for us have a few that haven't turned up but on the whole most have and if we have had to cancel at last minute we have had a really good reason only had one couple get realky nasty because we had to cancel at short notice

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By *oxy jWoman
13 weeks ago

somerset

"As a single male all of my no shows and ghosters have been “cuck couples” and females, I have no idea why not hard to say somethings come up or not interested anymore "

most cuck couples are men dreamers ie men wannabe they could be married but its nothing but wishful thinking same with normal swinging couples profiles alot are single men wanking...

women we;; as above again alot of women profiles are just men wanking

im not saying theres not women and couples out there who let people down but ill put my money on a bet that most of thoses couples and women are single men or even married men who wife has zero interest or knowledge

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By *quirrelMan
13 weeks ago

North Yorks

I don't know how long the OP has been a member of the site, but I've been one for 10+year's. I've noticed that since covid the numbers of members has doubled, and at the same time the complaint about time wasters has tripled.

Admin doesn't seem to mind when you complain about anyone, and their profile is still up weeks afterwards. The only thing that you can do is to block them and move on.

Admin could tackle this problem by only offering free membership for a limited period say 3 months only, after that they either pay or are removed, when people can get something for nothing they tend to abuse it, but if they pay hard cash it has a value and theyll want to get something for their money.

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By *oxy jWoman
13 weeks ago

somerset

ame and shame would get abused people just cant help themselves...

someone who cancels is not a timewaster anyone and everyone has the rights to cancel or say no at any point thats not timewasting thats something come up or change of mind ...its not hard to see if someone abuses this ...

people wont like what i say next but if you are constantly being let down then you need to step back and ask yourself why are you attracting these people and re think about how you ''look'' for fun... the warning signs arte nearly always there in full view ... be more selective be more blunt and to the point...

i know loads on here who dont get messed around and indeed cant remember the last let down its been a long time and we all play regularly

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By *ealitybitesMan
13 weeks ago

Belfast

"I don't know how long the OP has been a member of the site, but I've been one for 10+year's. I've noticed that since covid the numbers of members has doubled, and at the same time the complaint about time wasters has tripled.

Admin doesn't seem to mind when you complain about anyone, and their profile is still up weeks afterwards. The only thing that you can do is to block them and move on.

Some people already want to get something for their money.

Some site supporters believe they are entitled to sex simply because they pay a few quid every year.

The day that this site goes behind a paywall I and many other long standing members will leave but it won't reduce the number of perceived timewasters.

I can honestly say that in all my years here I've never encountered anyone who has wasted my time and I've never had a no show.

I know from other threads that I'm not unique and many others have never had any issues but also from other threads there is a very broad range of what people consider to be a timewaster.

Very often just saying no to someone is seen as something only a timewaster would do.

It's a very subjective term.

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By *ouple4voyeurCouple
13 weeks ago

Birmingham

We used to get a lot of ghosters & no shows. We used to have bet with each other how many would show up lol. Some of their excuses, though. OMG they were hilarious.

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By *oxy jWoman
13 weeks ago

somerset

Admin doesn't seem to mind when you complain about anyone, and their profile is still up weeks afterwards. The only thing that you can do is to block them and move on.

been on fab since it started and all the big sites before it some of those big sites went to pay to join for newbies and all that happened was zillions of guys flooded those sites and killed it see all a paid site does is make men think well im paying for it why am i not getting it ie they feel entitled ...

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By *ntrigued888Woman
13 weeks ago

Beds

I had a hotel meet arranged with someone I'd met before. We chatted regularly.

I turned up before him, paid, he was going to give 1/2. He then messaged saying he 'might' have to cancel as was finishing work late 6pm! After that I heard absolutely nothing. I messaged a number of times, which have been read but complete silence.

Would love a Name & Shame section

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By *ntrigued888Woman
13 weeks ago

Beds

"Would definitely be an awkward one to enforce.

For example, we were arranging a meet with a couple once, got all the way to the Friday night and all was good to go.

We messaged them for the address at the time we agreed to leave and head to theirs and they decided to leave us on read for 3 hours.

We eventually had enough after seeing them online several times in that time (and ignored follow up messages).

We sent them a message to say we were done waiting and would be looking elsewhere and they accused us of being a timewaster and said we should have shown more patience.

Short of having some sort of jury system deciding who was at fault, who goes on the list?"

How could you be the time wasters.

You got a lucky escape I think

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By *oxy jWoman
13 weeks ago

somerset

why not do what others have done a large group of my swinging friends share info things like abuse or nasty gets screen shot and shared away from the site must be screenshot same goes for those rare no shows that many of us just dont get

fab rules only apply to fab what you do away from fab is down to you

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By *ntrigued888Woman
13 weeks ago

Beds

"I think that certain people are arranging a meeting with me. Not showing up.Then a brand new profile appears which I suspect is the same person...Can this be prevented.?"

***********

I'm usually very good at spotting new profiles, guess cause I recognise photos, but it makes me wary, did they get banned ?

Why make a new profile every couple of months?

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By *uncpl187Couple
13 weeks ago

Ramsgate

I can't see why they shouldn't be named and shamed. Some people don't realise the preparation people make to arrange a meet for some time wasters to not bother showing up.

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By *otwifeHusband888Couple
13 weeks ago

Within touching distance

It's 100% ruining it for us. We have actually had more let downs than meets now. I can't believe it's actually easier to meet couples than single guys.

I think from now on if a guy dosent have verifications from established couple profiles we won't entertain it. There should be a system put in place to out fakes and fantasists but the simple fact is there probably 75% of the sites revenue so why would you ban your best customers. That's my view on it anyway. I completely understand why your not allowed to out anyone.

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By *eadingCouple1963Couple
13 weeks ago

Reading

"I can't see why they shouldn't be named and shamed. Some people don't realise the preparation people make to arrange a meet for some time wasters to not bother showing up. "

How would you do that without it being open to being abused? Lots of people are saying "Name and shame" but no one is coming up with the answer!

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