FabSwingers.com forum: Manners cost nothing

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I read a profile carefully, listen to their likes and dislikes, think i,m suitable, send a clear face pic as requested and then get instantly deleted! Come on guys at least have the manners to say thanks but no thanks. I don't know whether I look like Shreks ugly older brother or not but at least give me the courtesy of a reply.

I see so many folks on here complain guys dont read their profiles fully but when I take the trouble to, it seems to make no difference anyway!

Welcome anyone elses thoughts.

Rant over!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree, people say 'no one liners' on their profile so you spend ages writing a couple of paragraphs, adding pics, and you don't even get a 'no thanks'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read a profile carefully, listen to their likes and dislikes, think i,m suitable, send a clear face pic as requested and then get instantly deleted! Come on guys at least have the manners to say thanks but no thanks. I don't know whether I look like Shreks ugly older brother or not but at least give me the courtesy of a reply.

I see so many folks on here complain guys dont read their profiles fully but when I take the trouble to, it seems to make no difference anyway!

Welcome anyone elses thoughts.

Rant over!"

its not Thursday so your not allowed to Rant lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The site rules state it's not bad manners to delete mails. some do some don't. some just mass delete because they get do many. why take it personally?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and

not to judge but some people just see a message look at your profile and make snap decision to not even communicate ...its a tough one we know but try not take it to heart not all fems/couples on here are like that ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see so many folks on here complain guys dont read their profiles fully but when I take the trouble to, it seems to make no difference anyway!

Welcome anyone elses thoughts.

Rant over!"

My thought is that it's not just about having bothered to read someone's profile and writing a decent message.

Well done for doing so, now you just need to keep trying until you find someone who likes what you've written and fancies you.

If they delete your message, that is an easy and quick way for them to say 'thanks but no thanks' to you... and all the other guys that have messaged them that aren't what they are looking for as well!

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

(In before single male bashing commences)

No one is obliged to respond to anything on here, as "mannerless" as that may sound to some.

If it is any consolation, we've mostly all been there. The sooner you change your mindset and not let such things affect you on here, the better your experience will be. Take it from someone who used to be in your situation.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps these people should put on their profiles 'will very rarely respond in any way to messages'

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By *obnessMan
over a year ago

york

On the other hand, just because site rules say something is not bad manners it doesnt mean that in the bigger picture of human relationships/ communication that it isnt bad manners to delete/ignore a message which somebody has carefully put together. Old man, decent manners, mild rant over. Back to work.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

True, but for those that get well over 100 messages a day (and yes, there are some), it then becomes an issue of time and energy spent. Imagine if you were the 70th message that day alone in the line of 100, from single males.

If there isn't an immediate spark or interest, it will get deleted without a second glance. Hence the need for single guys to "stand out" as you see on so many advice threads.

There's manners and then there is just practicality. The latter usually wins out.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

You may think you've matched what they're looking for, but obviously you haven't.

I have a lot of filters on my profile, so anyone that gets through should roughly be what I'm looking for ...you'd think! I read the profile before the message. I've seen straight men with verifications from tvs (I have no bi), I have white only (username bbc4u say), no married (profile littered with "discreet, can't accommodate, meet during office hours...gee what do you reckon: married?), can't accommodate - I state I don't meet in hotels or allow anyone into my home that can't accommodate.

I've had someone with nearly all the above message me, then post a similiar thread to the OP complaining about meeting what's being asked for and having their messages deleted.

I've found some of the people that contact me suffer from word blindness: words that exclude them funnily enough.

Anyone that meets what I'm looking for will get a message back, even a thanks but no thanks type one.

No one is entitled to anything here, and personally, a sense of entitlement where it comes to people making a decision about who to invite into their home and ultimately their bed is VERY ugly!

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By *j_markCouple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

You should take no reply as a "thanks but no thanks" and you'll enjoy the site a lot more

Site guidelines in the FAQ state it's not rude not to reply

Admin x

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