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The Direct Approach

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Something I've often thought about when it comes to having a good swinging meet, is having good chemistry, there's a certain amount of courtship ie getting to know a person, sharing drinks, conversing, seeing how much you have in common prior to deciding whether or not you'd like to have sex.

What I'm asking is though, just how many women here would prefer a more direct approach when it comes to meets - do you sometimes find that if the social aspect of a meet is played up too much, you lose perspective on the more intimate side of swinging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something I've often thought about when it comes to having a good swinging meet, is having good chemistry, there's a certain amount of courtship ie getting to know a person, sharing drinks, conversing, seeing how much you have in common prior to deciding whether or not you'd like to have sex.

What I'm asking is though, just how many women here would prefer a more direct approach when it comes to meets - do you sometimes find that if the social aspect of a meet is played up too much, you lose perspective on the more intimate side of swinging?"

No a social meet is a must and always will be for me. That what I can decide if I want to play or not and 9 times out of 10 I don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something I've often thought about when it comes to having a good swinging meet, is having good chemistry, there's a certain amount of courtship ie getting to know a person, sharing drinks, conversing, seeing how much you have in common prior to deciding whether or not you'd like to have sex.

What I'm asking is though, just how many women here would prefer a more direct approach when it comes to meets - do you sometimes find that if the social aspect of a meet is played up too much, you lose perspective on the more intimate side of swinging?

No a social meet is a must and always will be for me. That what I can decide if I want to play or not and 9 times out of 10 I don't "

Yes me to I agree with you most of them I dont like either so a soical meet is important to me.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Chemistry is important to me...

The "direct approach" gets my back up....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting to know someone before a Social is a big thing for me too x

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I need to have chemistry and have a good laugh too... Just getting straight in there is not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to ascertain they're not a twat/s but too much chit chat can become a turn off. I don't mind making a few new friends - but that's not what I'm looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, if you think that the direct approach will work try it.

But I don;t think I've ever seen a post on the forums from anybody wishing they were getting more wanna fuck and less well crafted individual messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"But I don;t think I've ever seen a post on the forums from anybody wishing they were getting more wanna fuck and less well crafted individual messages."

My opening post clearly wasn't referring to messaging people - no doubt most women on here get more than enough 'wanna fuck?' type mails and I can guess how well that routinely works out.

What I was referring to was how when actually meeting, how many women like a more gentle approach, and who prefers a more brisk build up to the potential sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But I don;t think I've ever seen a post on the forums from anybody wishing they were getting more wanna fuck and less well crafted individual messages.

My opening post clearly wasn't referring to messaging people - no doubt most women on here get more than enough 'wanna fuck?' type mails and I can guess how well that routinely works out.

What I was referring to was how when actually meeting, how many women like a more gentle approach, and who prefers a more brisk build up to the potential sex."

Sorry, I misunderstood. :*

When I've played a a singkle male I've had one meet where it was planned that we would meet and fuck (we'd been speaking for weeks, dtes to meet never worked so when a date did work, it seemed a plan), and I've also had a couple of meets that have led to sex very quickly (by quick I mean around an hour).

But, hand on heart most meets were social first or if I did play on the first meet after relatively long periods messaging and they were probably the most rewarding (and that's not to detract from the others) as the sense of anticipation added.

As a couple we do enjoy the thrill of the chase and the build up of meets. Though in clubs we can be driven purely by lust!

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"

What I was referring to was how when actually meeting, how many women like a more gentle approach, and who prefers a more brisk build up to the potential sex."

If I wanted "brisk" I would instigate it myself....

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Not really interested in getting to know someone.....

But would always meet socially (a public place) Im sure we can both decide within half an hour if we going to have fun or not....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But I don;t think I've ever seen a post on the forums from anybody wishing they were getting more wanna fuck and less well crafted individual messages.

My opening post clearly wasn't referring to messaging people - no doubt most women on here get more than enough 'wanna fuck?' type mails and I can guess how well that routinely works out.

What I was referring to was how when actually meeting, how many women like a more gentle approach, and who prefers a more brisk build up to the potential sex."

gentle approach. social meet then if we get on and can go somewhere then I will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I far prefer the direct approach. I dont want social meets to get to know people because i will have already worked out if i like them while emailing or chatting in chat rooms.

I dont want to make friends here or any other swinging website, so meeting for drinks and chat is pointless and i find it boring.

However i do prefer more than "fancy a fuck" type emails.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I never initiate direct approaches although I'm happy to accept them on occasion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I far prefer the direct approach. I dont want social meets to get to know people because i will have already worked out if i like them while emailing or chatting in chat rooms.

I dont want to make friends here or any other swinging website, so meeting for drinks and chat is pointless and i find it boring.

However i do prefer more than "fancy a fuck" type emails."

Same here, social drink is a waste if precious time.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

I really cant be bothered with ping pong mail and I never use the chat rooms....

Meeting someone socially doesnt mean im looking for a friend...

It means im looking to see if he looks like his pic and he not a complete wanker....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i go in chat rooms now and again waste of time if anyone speaks to me and i say hi back, no response back to that. whats the point?

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

If someone thinks meeting me socially is a waste of their precious time.....I wouldnt give them 5mins....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something I've often thought about when it comes to having a good swinging meet, is having good chemistry, there's a certain amount of courtship ie getting to know a person, sharing drinks, conversing, seeing how much you have in common prior to deciding whether or not you'd like to have sex.

What I'm asking is though, just how many women here would prefer a more direct approach when it comes to meets - do you sometimes find that if the social aspect of a meet is played up too much, you lose perspective on the more intimate side of swinging?"

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer.

Even those that prefer what you call a more 'direct approach' would in all liklehood require a decent amount of time to establish chemistry and personality. Many, for both safety reasons and to get to know the other party will want a social meet first - whether or not that leads to same day play.

If I was messaged by someone saying something along the lines of "Meet, give eachother the once over and then get stuck in" - i'd possibly be more wary than someone who wanted to take a slower approach.

It's a two way street - both sides need to be comfortable. So as always, communication and respecting others 'rules' are key.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something I've often thought about when it comes to having a good swinging meet, is having good chemistry, there's a certain amount of courtship ie getting to know a person, sharing drinks, conversing, seeing how much you have in common prior to deciding whether or not you'd like to have sex.

What I'm asking is though, just how many women here would prefer a more direct approach when it comes to meets - do you sometimes find that if the social aspect of a meet is played up too much, you lose perspective on the more intimate side of swinging?

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer.

Even those that prefer what you call a more 'direct approach' would in all liklehood require a decent amount of time to establish chemistry and personality. Many, for both safety reasons and to get to know the other party will want a social meet first - whether or not that leads to same day play.

If I was messaged by someone saying something along the lines of "Meet, give eachother the once over and then get stuck in" - i'd possibly be more wary than someone who wanted to take a slower approach.

It's a two way street - both sides need to be comfortable. So as always, communication and respecting others 'rules' are key."

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Dont like the slow approach either...

Exchange a quick message, if all ok, exchange face pics, all still ok, arrange a meet....

Simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dont like the slow approach either...

Exchange a quick message, if all ok, exchange face pics, all still ok, arrange a meet....

Simple "

like that!

but yes..long drawn out conversations?- not gonna work for me, i message a fair amount of people with the aim to meet..I dont need to woo my meets with constant attention, I have two lives, a swinging life and a real life..dont really count cyberlife at all

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I don't have hard and fast rules. I do love the anticipation and build up, meeting in a public place knowing that you want to have sex with that person, but can't at that time, can be extremely arousing.

However other times I am just plain horny so I look to see who is online, in my area and just meet with no social at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have hard and fast rules. I do love the anticipation and build up, meeting in a public place knowing that you want to have sex with that person, but can't at that time, can be extremely arousing.

However other times I am just plain horny so I look to see who is online, in my area and just meet with no social at all.

"

did u just say ur fannys rampant for cock?- be round in 10mins!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of my meets have resulted in play on the same day, but I wouldn't be adverse to social meets only if that's what someone wanted. Generally though it can take me a good week or so to arrange a meet due to other commitments so by that time I usually feel I've chatted enough by messaging/text/kik etc too know if there is a chemistry or not. So far it's worked for me but everyone has their own way of playing x

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North


"I don't have hard and fast rules. I do love the anticipation and build up, meeting in a public place knowing that you want to have sex with that person, but can't at that time, can be extremely arousing.

However other times I am just plain horny so I look to see who is online, in my area and just meet with no social at all.

did u just say ur fannys rampant for cock?- be round in 10mins!"

. 10 mins? You travelling by hypersonic plane?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have hard and fast rules. I do love the anticipation and build up, meeting in a public place knowing that you want to have sex with that person, but can't at that time, can be extremely arousing.

However other times I am just plain horny so I look to see who is online, in my area and just meet with no social at all.

did u just say ur fannys rampant for cock?- be round in 10mins!

. 10 mins? You travelling by hypersonic plane? "

the power of love can stop time baby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way I meet a newbie nowadays can be described as dive right into the deep end, it is all or nothing.

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By *ot30scoupleCouple
over a year ago

Oxford, London

Generally only arrange a meet if I want to have sex with the guy! : ) sex is a good icebreaker; I love post-coital chatting, getting to know each other better before round two ; )

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Generally only arrange a meet if I want to have sex with the guy! : ) sex is a good icebreaker; I love post-coital chatting, getting to know each other better before round two ; )"

But how can you know how attractive a person is until you meet them?

Ok, so maybe that's not a very good question, I mean I've had meets in the past where I just KNEW we'd end up in bed with one another without ever having any prior contact off the site because, for some reason or other, the attraction was just THERE - and sure enough when we actually did meet we were kissing from the get go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive just directly approached a guy who looked at me but has no face pics on his profile and asked him if I can have one. Does that count? or does post just refer to sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Generally only arrange a meet if I want to have sex with the guy! : ) sex is a good icebreaker; I love post-coital chatting, getting to know each other better before round two ; )"

haha - that's more like it - lets fuck.. then I'll decide if I want to socialise with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Generally only arrange a meet if I want to have sex with the guy! : ) sex is a good icebreaker; I love post-coital chatting, getting to know each other better before round two ; )

But how can you know how attractive a person is until you meet them?

Ok, so maybe that's not a very good question, I mean I've had meets in the past where I just KNEW we'd end up in bed with one another without ever having any prior contact off the site because, for some reason or other, the attraction was just THERE - and sure enough when we actually did meet we were kissing from the get go."

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I think it depends on my mood and general timing. If I know I am busy then I am happy to chat and maybe arrange a social to see how we get on. However if I am free at short notice and someone messages me with a horny suggestion I'll be more up for the direct approach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it depends on my mood and general timing. If I know I am busy then I am happy to chat and maybe arrange a social to see how we get on. However if I am free at short notice and someone messages me with a horny suggestion I'll be more up for the direct approach."

20cocks+1woman..

u coming? cos the guys are eyeing me up

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"I think it depends on my mood and general timing. If I know I am busy then I am happy to chat and maybe arrange a social to see how we get on. However if I am free at short notice and someone messages me with a horny suggestion I'll be more up for the direct approach.

20cocks+1woman..

u coming? cos the guys are eyeing me up"

Lol, on next train.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I far prefer the direct approach. I dont want social meets to get to know people because i will have already worked out if i like them while emailing or chatting in chat rooms.

I dont want to make friends here or any other swinging website, so meeting for drinks and chat is pointless and i find it boring.

However i do prefer more than "fancy a fuck" type emails.

Same here, social drink is a waste if precious time."

I prefer the direct approach and prefer not to do socials, a quick 10 minute chat is enough to know if I want sex or not

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I prefer the direct approach and prefer not to do socials, a quick 10 minute chat is enough to know if I want sex or not"

Fancy a quick 10 minute chat then?

...well a guy has to know how he measures up right?

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"

I prefer the direct approach and prefer not to do socials, a quick 10 minute chat is enough to know if I want sex or not"

Where do you have this 10 min chat?

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I have to know that I will get on with someone before I get down to it...After all there will be a lull between plays and it is good to be with someone who I actually have some chemistry with..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Generally only arrange a meet if I want to have sex with the guy! : ) sex is a good icebreaker; I love post-coital chatting, getting to know each other better before round two ; )"

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By *estingBoundariesCouple
over a year ago

Nr Louth

As it states in our profile we have no interest in socialising, just the direct approach. Works OK for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something I've often thought about when it comes to having a good swinging meet, is having good chemistry, there's a certain amount of courtship ie getting to know a person, sharing drinks, conversing, seeing how much you have in common prior to deciding whether or not you'd like to have sex.

What I'm asking is though, just how many women here would prefer a more direct approach when it comes to meets - do you sometimes find that if the social aspect of a meet is played up too much, you lose perspective on the more intimate side of swinging?

No a social meet is a must and always will be for me. That what I can decide if I want to play or not and 9 times out of 10 I don't "

What she said applies here too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy with both, but I guess I use the "direct approach" more, as most of my meets are hotel meets. I tend to invite guys directly to my room & play usually follows very quickly, on some occasions instantly. I think I've refined my vetting process enough over the years to do this and the worst meets I've had we're actually preceded by a social meet 1st.

Think we all meet differently and do what feels right and works for us x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"the worst meets I've had we're actually preceded by a social meet 1st."

I wonder sometimes if insisting on a social meet first of all is rather like committing to the idea that you might not be attracted to a person, whereas if its a 'social with possibility of swinging aswell' meet then you're meeting with an infinitely more positive mind-set.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy a shag????????

GREATTTTTTTTTT

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fancy a shag????????

GREATTTTTTTTTT "

Hold on hold on, do I get a say in this?

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

My social meet means.....

Meet somewhere public...Have quick drink, if all ok...lets do it!

Im not talking about meeting up, spending bit of time together then arranging (or not) another meet for fun....

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"the worst meets I've had we're actually preceded by a social meet 1st.

I wonder sometimes if insisting on a social meet first of all is rather like committing to the idea that you might not be attracted to a person, whereas if its a 'social with possibility of swinging aswell' meet then you're meeting with an infinitely more positive mind-set."

I will admit to using the social to 'make up my mind'. If I have chatted and know I fancy them the pre-meet will probably be short. If they fulfil my criteria for meets but there's something a bit 'eh' about them then its a social meet first. Then I can make up my mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fancy a shag????????

GREATTTTTTTTTT

Hold on hold on, do I get a say in this?"

Nope

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fancy a shag????????

GREATTTTTTTTTT

Hold on hold on, do I get a say in this?

Nope "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i met a woman and asked

'wanna fuck' she said

'no'

so i said

'do you mind laying down while i do ?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I prefer the direct approach and prefer not to do socials, a quick 10 minute chat is enough to know if I want sex or not

Where do you have this 10 min chat?"

Wherever we meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fancy a shag????????

GREATTTTTTTTTT

Hold on hold on, do I get a say in this?

Nope

"

Man up

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fancy a shag????????

GREATTTTTTTTTT

Hold on hold on, do I get a say in this?

Nope

Man up "

That's what I usually say to my cock when I need an erection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fancy a shag????????

GREATTTTTTTTTT

Hold on hold on, do I get a say in this?

Nope

Man up

That's what I usually say to my cock when I need an erection "

Not have that problem with me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fancy a shag????????

GREATTTTTTTTTT

Hold on hold on, do I get a say in this?

Nope

Man up

That's what I usually say to my cock when I need an erection

Not have that problem with me "

You sound awfully confident?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Something I've often thought about when it comes to having a good swinging meet, is having good chemistry, there's a certain amount of courtship ie getting to know a person, sharing drinks, conversing, seeing how much you have in common prior to deciding whether or not you'd like to have sex.

What I'm asking is though, just how many women here would prefer a more direct approach when it comes to meets - do you sometimes find that if the social aspect of a meet is played up too much, you lose perspective on the more intimate side of swinging?"

I'll be totally honest.... once I know I want to fuck someone, I want to start fucking!

A social meet doesn't need to be a courtship ritual - it's a quick check to see if the look like their pictures.

We can arrange to initially meet outside the local petrol station for all I care.... I know in under 60 seconds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fancy a shag????????

GREATTTTTTTTTT

Hold on hold on, do I get a say in this?

Nope

Man up

That's what I usually say to my cock when I need an erection

Not have that problem with me

You sound awfully confident? "

Yep put my money where my mouth is

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside


"Getting to know someone before a Social is a big thing for me too x "

I agree. If you get to know them online first you can decide if you both want to progress to a social meet. You can also out the axe murderers lol.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Getting to know someone before a Social is a big thing for me too x

I agree. If you get to know them online first you can decide if you both want to progress to a social meet. You can also out the axe murderers lol. "

Axe murderers are well known for their charm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not one for loads of private messages. I do send mails and exchange some messages and if we decide to meet then great. At the meet we will have a few hours chatting and laughing and its enough to build up a rapport and then if all is good we get onto the more intimate side. Then afterwards we tend to have a bit of a laugh again and get dressed and go home.

I am not one for daily messages, I don't give my phone number out and encourage texting, I don't do phone calls. I'm very much a 'ill do it on the night' type of person.

I'm part of a couple so therefore I don't encourage one on one personal messages. I guess this can be construed as preferring a more direct approach

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fancy a shag????????

GREATTTTTTTTTT

Hold on hold on, do I get a say in this?

Nope

Man up

That's what I usually say to my cock when I need an erection

Not have that problem with me

You sound awfully confident?

Yep put my money where my mouth is "

Gives a whole new meaning to 'cough up the cash'

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I do often think that the increasingly social approach to swinging is due to the scene having become much quieter in recent years - I can honestly say that there were at one time a far greater number of single women taking the more direct approach to swinging, but these days they have become increasingly difficult to find, or are already in couples. I'm really not sure why the scene has dried up as much as it has.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"Something I've often thought about when it comes to having a good swinging meet, is having good chemistry, there's a certain amount of courtship ie getting to know a person, sharing drinks, conversing, seeing how much you have in common prior to deciding whether or not you'd like to have sex.

What I'm asking is though, just how many women here would prefer a more direct approach when it comes to meets - do you sometimes find that if the social aspect of a meet is played up too much, you lose perspective on the more intimate side of swinging?"

A chat over a brew is an essential part. If some guy wants to throw me to the floor as soon as I open the door it puts me off. I know there are some who like that - but I don't. I need to see if we hit it off - if we don't I ain't getting naked!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At some meet's I have literally pounced on them in the doorway. Once I have stopped at the doorway and gone home.

The number of messages exchanged varies depending on how much free time I have/distance etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My social meet means.....

Meet somewhere public...Have quick drink, if all ok...lets do it!

Im not talking about meeting up, spending bit of time together then arranging (or not) another meet for fun...."

+1

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By *hris N KateCouple
over a year ago

Gainesville

Varies, we have play freinds we constantly flirt and chat with and rarely play with. But one of our playfriends I (he) met for a quick drink to make sure he was real, then took him to the hotel to meet my wife, when he walked in the door it was game on.

I think for us, social meets will more likely put a potential date in the friend zone, and we dont generally play with friends, so its a challenge, lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think for us, social meets will more likely put a potential date in the friend zone"

I had actually been thinking something similar. Whilst meeting socially first of all may seem like the polite way to approach a prospective sexual partner, I'm finding increasingly that this is a flawed approach as it fails to stimulate that raw sexual chemistry I so often talk about - because you're basically meeting with a 'this is a drink, no more' state of mind, its very hard to assert yourself as a red blooded, exciting sexual partner rather than just some nice guy for a midday chat, that they could meet pretty much anywhere.

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By *hris N KateCouple
over a year ago

Gainesville

Yup, we are there to play. If we become friends after, bonus, lol. Hard to balance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something I've often thought about when it comes to having a good swinging meet, is having good chemistry, there's a certain amount of courtship ie getting to know a person, sharing drinks, conversing, seeing how much you have in common prior to deciding whether or not you'd like to have sex.

What I'm asking is though, just how many women here would prefer a more direct approach when it comes to meets - do you sometimes find that if the social aspect of a meet is played up too much, you lose perspective on the more intimate side of swinging?

No a social meet is a must and always will be for me. That what I can decide if I want to play or not and 9 times out of 10 I don't "

yeah im exactly the same, i like the social meet for sure...but i do see the point that if you really dont find a guy attractive, do you sit and waffle for hours about the weather or just drink up and go quickly...its a tough one isnt it?? And then saying goodbye is awkward, with the message me/call me bit lol. I can be such a wimp and go along with the charade, when i really dont wanna meet again

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis


"Something I've often thought about when it comes to having a good swinging meet, is having good chemistry, there's a certain amount of courtship ie getting to know a person, sharing drinks, conversing, seeing how much you have in common prior to deciding whether or not you'd like to have sex.

What I'm asking is though, just how many women here would prefer a more direct approach when it comes to meets - do you sometimes find that if the social aspect of a meet is played up too much, you lose perspective on the more intimate side of swinging?"

I enjoy a direct approach sometimes - my very first meet upon joining Fabs ended up in Chams having my first MMF, MFMF - I had only just met the person in a pub and had only communicated very briefly.There are times when you just know that there is chemistry and that the meet will end up in having sex. Being impulsive from time to time gets the heart pumping and the adrenaline flowing.

The majority of the time I am one of those that enjoys ping pong emails, the tease, the build up. It all depends on the person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I normally go for the social meet first after getting to know someone and building up a connection but im not against playing on first meet.

I met someone a little while ago and it was pretty obvious from our calls and chat and such that we were going to want to fuck each other...and when that happens its pretty cool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the exchanging of messages and building up a sexual tension you could cut steel with such a turn on. Then the eventual meet can be so explosive if you both know exactly what each other wants

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I normally go for the social meet first after getting to know someone and building up a connection but im not against playing on first meet.

I met someone a little while ago and it was pretty obvious from our calls and chat and such that we were going to want to fuck each other...and when that happens its pretty cool "

I tend to play on a first meet - but I like a chat over coffee first. It is good to get rid of any nerves (not that I tend to have any to be honest) and you can discuss what each other likes. I have turned down a few. Not been turned down myself but I am sure that will happen in the future. So it goes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I tend to play on a first meet - but I like a chat over coffee first. It is good to get rid of any nerves (not that I tend to have any to be honest)"

...seems rather a pity you're all the way up in Manchester really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've yet to have a meet where I'm still dressed after 15 minutes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do often think that the increasingly social approach to swinging is due to the scene having become much quieter in recent years - I can honestly say that there were at one time a far greater number of single women taking the more direct approach to swinging, but these days they have become increasingly difficult to find, or are already in couples. I'm really not sure why the scene has dried up as much as it has."

I always thought 'swinging' was a social activity - rather than just easy, casual sex?

There's a definite difference between the two in the eyes of many - hence the particular difference in many a website name - i.e. those that include the word 'swingers' and those with something along the lines of 'instashag', 'facelessfuck' or 'notintetestedinconversationjustbendovernow'.

Otherwise surely it's just a mechanical way of getting your rocks off - just a wank with a spare pair of hands/cock/pussy ? Nothing wrong with that if its what people want - but as far as I've experienced those that have an interest in 'swinging' - however they choose to label it and themselves - tend to consider the social side important too - and that the attitude that its not important as one of the negatives of this kind of site.

Far from being in decline I think you'll find it's popularity is booming - not always with the right people and the right motives though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I normally go for the social meet first after getting to know someone and building up a connection but im not against playing on first meet.

I met someone a little while ago and it was pretty obvious from our calls and chat and such that we were going to want to fuck each other...and when that happens its pretty cool

I tend to play on a first meet - but I like a chat over coffee first. It is good to get rid of any nerves (not that I tend to have any to be honest) and you can discuss what each other likes. I have turned down a few. Not been turned down myself but I am sure that will happen in the future. So it goes."

That's how i go with first meets a coffee or a few drinks a bit of chat and then the play just tends to come naturally from there...and like yourself have had turn down a few people that's why i think its important to meet for coffee or a drink just in case you don't feel the attraction in person.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I normally go for the social meet first after getting to know someone and building up a connection but im not against playing on first meet.

I met someone a little while ago and it was pretty obvious from our calls and chat and such that we were going to want to fuck each other...and when that happens its pretty cool

I tend to play on a first meet - but I like a chat over coffee first. It is good to get rid of any nerves (not that I tend to have any to be honest) and you can discuss what each other likes. I have turned down a few. Not been turned down myself but I am sure that will happen in the future. So it goes.

That's how i go with first meets a coffee or a few drinks a bit of chat and then the play just tends to come naturally from there...and like yourself have had turn down a few people that's why i think its important to meet for coffee or a drink just in case you don't feel the attraction in person."

Well, it works for me. I find just a social meet and then arranging another meet just to fuck to be a waste of my time. I have little time for meeting so I like to cut through the crap and get down to it if it feels right.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Think both have there benefits and there is no right or wrong answer. Just what works for you.

Enjoyed a couple of meets where it is has been pretty much straight down to getting naked.

Enjoyed just social only meets.

Enjoyed meets where we have spend time socially together first and then had fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think for us, social meets will more likely put a potential date in the friend zone

I had actually been thinking something similar. Whilst meeting socially first of all may seem like the polite way to approach a prospective sexual partner, I'm finding increasingly that this is a flawed approach as it fails to stimulate that raw sexual chemistry I so often talk about - because you're basically meeting with a 'this is a drink, no more' state of mind, its very hard to assert yourself as a red blooded, exciting sexual partner rather than just some nice guy for a midday chat, that they could meet pretty much anywhere."

I disagree entirely!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think for us, social meets will more likely put a potential date in the friend zone

I had actually been thinking something similar. Whilst meeting socially first of all may seem like the polite way to approach a prospective sexual partner, I'm finding increasingly that this is a flawed approach as it fails to stimulate that raw sexual chemistry I so often talk about - because you're basically meeting with a 'this is a drink, no more' state of mind, its very hard to assert yourself as a red blooded, exciting sexual partner rather than just some nice guy for a midday chat, that they could meet pretty much anywhere.

I disagree entirely! "

That's because you're lovely Julie

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By *ot30scoupleCouple
over a year ago

Oxford, London


"I do often think that the increasingly social approach to swinging is due to the scene having become much quieter in recent years - I can honestly say that there were at one time a far greater number of single women taking the more direct approach to swinging, but these days they have become increasingly difficult to find, or are already in couples. I'm really not sure why the scene has dried up as much as it has.

I always thought 'swinging' was a social activity - rather than just easy, casual sex?

There's a definite difference between the two in the eyes of many - hence the particular difference in many a website name - i.e. those that include the word 'swingers' and those with something along the lines of 'instashag', 'facelessfuck' or 'notintetestedinconversationjustbendovernow'.

Otherwise surely it's just a mechanical way of getting your rocks off - just a wank with a spare pair of hands/cock/pussy ? Nothing wrong with that if its what people want - but as far as I've experienced those that have an interest in 'swinging' - however they choose to label it and themselves - tend to consider the social side important too - and that the attitude that its not important as one of the negatives of this kind of site.

Far from being in decline I think you'll find it's popularity is booming - not always with the right people and the right motives though! "

I'm not sure that hot, intense sex with someone you really fancy can really be described as 'mechanical', even if you do fancy each other too much to socialise first...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm not sure that hot, intense sex with someone you really fancy can really be described as 'mechanical', even if you do fancy each other too much to socialise first... "

Thankyou, that's pretty much exactly what I was getting at.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There has to be a balance.

x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There has to be a balance.

x"

The key to everything - shame that hasn't been implemented to the male to female ratios on here eh?

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