FabSwingers.com forum: Can you not engage with forumites outside your age range?

By *loss aka Miss Jones OP Woman
38 weeks ago

south coast IOW

Hi. Im looking for others perspective on this. Especially those who use forums. So i enjoy the forums. The chats within them. The games. But that involves messaging others sometimes. Therefore i dont block any ages. However in my profile it clearly states age limits in what im looking for. I get messaged by younger and will point out they are below my age limit. Some will not take this well. Many will also point out they prefer older and have met older before. I have just asked a young man to explain why this is relevant to my choices. He replied to say that if i dont block younger guys i must want them to contact me and get engaged in messaging me and guys are not mind readers. It felt a little defensive. So do people think because you dont want to meet an age group you should block them? And do you guys read what someone is looking for before you message, specifically age ranges?

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By *aveyDipperMan
38 weeks ago

Teesside

It’s not just age ignored, I get offered a blow job or two atleast ten to fifteen times a week. By men who should see it reads straight male

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By *hesubtlegentMan
38 weeks ago

surrey

"It’s not just age ignored, I get offered a blow job or two atleast ten to fifteen times a week. By men who should see it reads straight male "

This is the exact reason I’ve blocked men from being able to message me.

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By *naswingdressWoman
38 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think a lot of people see an open inbox as an invitation and then get annoyed with you for their misinterpretation. It's not worth it.

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By *loss aka Miss Jones OP Woman
38 weeks ago

south coast IOW

[Removed by poster at 15/05/24 00:29:13]

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By *loss aka Miss Jones OP Woman
38 weeks ago

south coast IOW

"I think a lot of people see an open inbox as an invitation and then get annoyed with you for their misinterpretation. It's not worth it."

He suggested that if i didnt block them it was because i wanted them to contact me or i did it so i wouldnt get less fabs and messages etc. i dont think he realises how many messages you can get in a day.

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By *naswingdressWoman
38 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think a lot of people see an open inbox as an invitation and then get annoyed with you for their misinterpretation. It's not worth it.

Yeah, sounds pretty typical. Blames you or suggests that you do it for vanity. I've heard that line before. I used to have a fairly open set of filters because I have an open mind - but people take that as "will meet anything in that range" and get mad when you say no.

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By *loss aka Miss Jones OP Woman
38 weeks ago

south coast IOW

Yes i have had the blame responses or the ones who argue that i should ‘give them a try’. I even had a guy recently suggest it was because i was ‘afraid’ to meet guys. Anyone who knows me would enjoy that comment.

In reality i have a son in his late 30’s and dont want to meet anyone the same age as my children.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

If you have an age preference then people should respect that. If they don't just ignor the message or block the profile. That's what we do with some that won't take a "No thank you"

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By *naswingdressWoman
38 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Yes i have had the blame responses or the ones who argue that i should ‘give them a try’. I even had a guy recently suggest it was because i was ‘afraid’ to meet guys. Anyone who knows me would enjoy that comment.

In reality i have a son in his late 30’s and dont want to meet anyone the same age as my children. "

Yeah. As I'm sure you know, you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. They're just trying to guilt you into giving them what they want.

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By *loss aka Miss Jones OP Woman
38 weeks ago

south coast IOW

"If you have an age preference then people should respect that. If they don't just ignor the message or block the profile. That's what we do with some that won't take a "No thank you""

I do try to respond but if they get abusive or too persistent i block. Thank you

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By *eren4891Woman
38 weeks ago

North east wales

Massive amount of red flags there.

Clearly hasn't read and doesn't respect what you ve said you're interested in, and then goes on to have a strop and say you ve invited him to message?? These men are the problem

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By *ayjay19xMan
38 weeks ago

Bromley / Lewisham / Croydon

Well, navigating the age waves in the sea of online forums can be like trying to surf a tsunami – exhilarating yet potentially overwhelming! While some folks might see age restrictions as mere suggestions, others treat them like the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on a teenager's bedroom door – to be respected at all costs. As for me, I'd rather avoid any potential stormy weather and stick to the designated swimming lanes. After all, who wants to end up in the shallow end when you're aiming for deep conversations?

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"Hi. Im looking for others perspective on this. Especially those who use forums. So i enjoy the forums. The chats within them. The games. But that involves messaging others sometimes. Therefore i dont block any ages. However in my profile it clearly states age limits in what im looking for. I get messaged by younger and will point out they are below my age limit. Some will not take this well. Many will also point out they prefer older and have met older before. I have just asked a young man to explain why this is relevant to my choices. He replied to say that if i dont block younger guys i must want them to contact me and get engaged in messaging me and guys are not mind readers. It felt a little defensive. So do people think because you dont want to meet an age group you should block them? And do you guys read what someone is looking for before you message, specifically age ranges?"

I’m always reading profiles because there’s no point really messaging someone if I don’t fit in any of their requirements such as age, height, body type, experience and interests etc!

With the age thing, if I’m not in their age range I mostly don’t message! But sometimes I do and tbh we do have a good chat, and it works the other way around…people who have age limit set higher than mine sometimes also message me.

And when I see a profile hasn’t blocked from messaging i sometimes assume the age is a preferred thing rather than 100% set in stone.

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By *rivervaderMan
38 weeks ago

bolton

You can do what you want if they don’t like it block. I myself look at profiles most of the time I’m to old for them so just move on it shows I have looked if they like my profile hopefully they may message if not then never mind.

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By *ames250122Man
38 weeks ago

Worcester

I think it’s a shame if the only solution is to block people outside of the age range you prefer and as you say, sometime forum chats involves messaging others as a bit of light hearted fun.

If they then want to try and purse things beyond the forum chat then it’s on them to read profile first to see what your looking for and like, to see if you match before looking to take things further. The fact they didn’t do that first is a red flag in itself, let alone failing to recognise it has nothing to do with who else they’ve meet and the age of others they’ve meet with but about your personal preference, which they should respect. Hopefully it’s not how most react or behave and it was just them being immature.

For me personally yes I do read every profile before messaging as I think it’s disrespectful not to invest a bit of time in knowing a bit about who your messaging and why, what and if you tick each other boxes on paper at least. Even then it’s difficult enough to get noticed and have it lead to more then just a brief exchange of messages where they seem keen before going quiet, so messaging people who would have no interest in meeting is just going to frustrate them and make life harder for myself x

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By *ealitybitesMan
38 weeks ago

Belfast

I have no interest in chatting to or meeting people close to my daughters age.

I didn't always have those outside my age range blocked and got quite a few messages off the back of forum threads from young women who wanted to "try" an older man.

I got fed up explaining why I wasn't interested so it was easier to block everyone outside my filters.

Even then there is a glitch because couples where only one half are within my age preference range can get around the block so I still have to block those individually.

I've even had someone contact my verifications and ask them to encourage me to contact them as they were well below my filters. When they were told to feck off they started a thread in the forums as if that was going to encourage me to say hello.

I rarely play forum games so I don't feel I'm missing out on not being able to chat to people I've no interest in.

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By *eally_RosieWoman
38 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

I used to allow any ages to contact me for similar reasons… but in the end had to use age filters. How you structure your profile and who you choose to respond to (regardless of what it says), is your choice. I wouldn’t even bother engaging with that level of vanity

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By *otty BikerMan
38 weeks ago

Warrington

"It’s not just age ignored, I get offered a blow job or two atleast ten to fifteen times a week. By men who should see it reads straight male

This is the exact reason I’ve blocked men from being able to message me. "

Yeah This !

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By *loss aka Miss Jones OP Woman
38 weeks ago

south coast IOW

Thank you all for your comments. It has given me some alternative perspectives. Xxx

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By *hesubtlegentMan
38 weeks ago

surrey

I sometimes message women and couples whose age range I’m outside of. Sometimes they reply, sometimes they don’t. I don’t get upset about it when they don’t, I’m obviously not their cup of tea.

Anyone that does take offence when getting rejected for any reason needs to give their head a wobble. Just because this is a sex site, doesn’t mean you can be rude and start being abusive.

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By * and BCouple
38 weeks ago

Durham

If a message is defensive don't interact, the block button is there for a reason. No need to filter them just hit that button

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By * and BCouple
38 weeks ago

Durham

"I sometimes message women and couples whose age range I’m outside of. Sometimes they reply, sometimes they don’t. I don’t get upset about it when they don’t, I’m obviously not their cup of tea.

Anyone that does take offence when getting rejected for any reason needs to give their head a wobble. Just because this is a sex site, doesn’t mean you can be rude and start being abusive. "

And there lies the problem. This is NOT a sex site, it's a site for swingers to interact

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By *pankingNorfolkCouple
38 weeks ago

Norwichish

Don’t see the point in blocking anyone. We don’t want to meet single guys but doesn’t mean single guys might want to message us. They often ask for advice re wax/rope or where to meet others into BDSM.

Sometimes it’s just a compliment.

There are of course some that don’t get it and haven’t read the profile but they just get ignored.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

East Sussex

We've tried opening our filters, it's not worked particularly well. So many people think that if they can message you, you want to meet them.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Chichester

If I allow men to message me I get swamped with moronic messages mostly Far easier I message people

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By *hesubtlegentMan
38 weeks ago

surrey

Anyone that does take offence when getting rejected for any reason needs to give their head a wobble. Just because this is a sex site, doesn’t mean you can be rude and start being abusive.

And there lies the problem. This is NOT a sex site, it's a site for swingers to interact

I stand corrected but still, same opinion stands.

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By *rBobbMan
38 weeks ago

Birmingham

I am normally outside of the age range that people are for, but at the higher end.

I always read the profile and if I am out of their age range then I will still enjoy reading about them and even fab some photos. I would never mail as it is pointless.

The only exception to this is when I am taking part in some of the games in the forum

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I will message if out of age ranges and sometimes get a response but if it’s a no thank you I will politely say thank you for the reply and happy fabbing why do people get so arsey with a no it happens move on

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By *loss aka Miss Jones OP Woman
38 weeks ago

south coast IOW

"I am normally outside of the age range that people are for, but at the higher end.

I always read the profile and if I am out of their age range then I will still enjoy reading about them and even fab some photos. I would never mail as it is pointless.

The only exception to this is when I am taking part in some of the games in the forum"

I think thats as it should be. I think i interact with random messages too much as i try to always reply even if its to say a polite no thank you but i think some see it as an invite to message over and over. Ill take some of the good advice above and be a bit quicker to block and ignore those who have ignored my interests.

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By *ikesEmBigMan
38 weeks ago

Herts

I'm running out of choices

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By *icsJourneyWoman
38 weeks ago

Northern Ireland

"I think a lot of people see an open inbox as an invitation and then get annoyed with you for their misinterpretation. It's not worth it.

He is not respectful of your clearly stated boundaries. Its very black and white. He's in the wrong.

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By *loss aka Miss Jones OP Woman
38 weeks ago

south coast IOW

"I think a lot of people see an open inbox as an invitation and then get annoyed with you for their misinterpretation. It's not worth it.

He is not respectful of your clearly stated boundaries. Its very black and white. He's in the wrong. "

Thank you. I have blocked him now.

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By *oxy jWoman
38 weeks ago

somerset

i dont answer any message that come to me about forum post repeat offender blocked i wish fab would take the prvt message link down ...its a forum you answer on the forum simples

so by that i only engage with those in my age range if i want to talk to them ...i wont and dont willy nilly chat as that gets people around your filters i just dont answer

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
38 weeks ago

Wherever

I just ignore messages from people I have no intentions to interact with. Simple as that. If persistent I’d just block.

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By *adyinred696969Couple
38 weeks ago

Brecon

We will happily chat with anyone who messages us, if they have read the profile.

That rules out most of the guys, who see the pics, get excited and usually send a friends request without even messaging.

Your profile is clear on what you want, anyone who assumes anything has only themselves to blame if they get the wrong idea.

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By *essTTWoman
38 weeks ago

Birmingham

This is why I just keep my filters on regardless of forum games, so much easier

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
38 weeks ago

stanley

OP I think that once you have had one message that has any red flags, I.E not in your age range and wanting to meet, blocking is probably wisest. To avoid risk of abuse that exists no matter how gentle and polite your “ no thank you” is.

Reading this thread has caused me to reflect on my messaging behaviour on the forums. As when interacting as part of a fun thread like “ my mate fancies you “ or “ private question public answer” I do not take into account profile preferences,If I’m not blocked by filters. As I don’t regard that sort of interaction as being seeking a meet etc. Hope I’ve not inadvertently upset anyone with this approach.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Central

I prefer more open access but I end and block, when people start inappropriate dialogue. All part of the standard Fab tapestry of life

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By *ittlebirdWoman
38 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

I don’t block anyone from messaging me OP but I don’t respond to most messages I get. I deal with my inbox how I want to… not how the sender says I should. Don’t even respond to those outside your age range would be my advice

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By *loss aka Miss Jones OP Woman
38 weeks ago

south coast IOW

Thank you everyone. I think that my pomite response is what encourages more and tbe ignore and if persistent then block approach is probably a better one than i have been using. As you say if i respond any filters become pointless and it is clear in my profile. Thank you everyone.

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By *icsJourneyWoman
37 weeks ago

Northern Ireland

I wouldn't contact someone if I was outside their age range. I recently enjoyed the profile of a couple who's upper limit was 45. My partner is 8 years younger than me and within their age range and I was tempted to get in touch anyway. But totally respect their requirements so it was a fleeting thought only.

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By *rBobbMan
37 weeks ago

Birmingham

I always read a persons profile and always respect their requirements albeit age, single males or they simply say they are not meeting. The age thing is probably the first thing I look at as more often than not I am outside of their age range at the top end.

I do enjoy the forums and I also like to take part in the games. These are the only times I will contact someone where I am outside of their age range. Being honest, everyone who I have contacted has been lovely and taken it in the spirit of things. I have also had some lovely general conversations with people following on from the games.

At the end of the day it is all about respecting people and their wishes.

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By *icsJourneyWoman
37 weeks ago

Northern Ireland

At the end of the day it is all about respecting people and their wishes.

Me too. Enjoy a good chin wag it doesn't have to be all about meets or shenanigans

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By *xfordjohnMan
37 weeks ago

Oxford

I always check age ranges carefully as I'm outside so many and don't want to be thought careless or pushy.

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