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Advice needed about club

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By *iny_tight_puss OP   Woman
39 weeks ago

wednesbury

Hi all,

I need some advice (not judgement) please.

I used to go swinging with my ex husband right up until we divorced. A few years later I met someone else and remarried.

But he initially wouldn’t entertain any sort of swinging and was very vanilla. I missed the excitement and satisfaction of swinging and so, without his knowledge, slipped into my old life. And for years I have lead this double life.

Then out of the blue today my hubby suggested that maybe we should try swinging. He suggested we join Chameleons and just go a watch others and see if it was sonething we’d enjoy.

My predicament is that I’m already a member and I’m worried people will chat to us and drop out that I’ve been going for a while. But I’m desperate for him to join me in my lifestyle. I thought of going to another club but I know others flit between them.

Any advice welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 06/05/24 17:56:23]

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By *t0600Man
39 weeks ago

elvedon


"Hi all,

I need some advice (not judgement) please.

I used to go swinging with my ex husband right up until we divorced. A few years later I met someone else and remarried.

But he initially wouldn’t entertain any sort of swinging and was very vanilla. I missed the excitement and satisfaction of swinging and so, without his knowledge, slipped into my old life. And for years I have lead this double life.

Then out of the blue today my hubby suggested that maybe we should try swinging. He suggested we join Chameleons and just go a watch others and see if it was sonething we’d enjoy.

My predicament is that I’m already a member and I’m worried people will chat to us and drop out that I’ve been going for a while. But I’m desperate for him to join me in my lifestyle. I thought of going to another club but I know others flit between them.

Any advice welcome. "

Come clean I’d say . Or your other option is to say you don’t want to do that which then means you carry on your double life

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

Your husband won't be happy when he finds out. And if you do take him to a club in your area, it will come out one way or another. I'd avoid taking him if I were you.

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By *he Flat CapsCouple
39 weeks ago

Pontypool

Any chance he already knows about your double life?

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago


"Hi all,

I need some advice (not judgement) please.

I used to go swinging with my ex husband right up until we divorced. A few years later I met someone else and remarried.

But he initially wouldn’t entertain any sort of swinging and was very vanilla. I missed the excitement and satisfaction of swinging and so, without his knowledge, slipped into my old life. And for years I have lead this double life.

Then out of the blue today my hubby suggested that maybe we should try swinging. He suggested we join Chameleons and just go a watch others and see if it was sonething we’d enjoy.

My predicament is that I’m already a member and I’m worried people will chat to us and drop out that I’ve been going for a while. But I’m desperate for him to join me in my lifestyle. I thought of going to another club but I know others flit between them.

Any advice welcome.

Come clean I’d say . Or your other option is to say you don’t want to do that which then means you carry on your double life "

Imagine your wife or husband telling you they've been swinging for years behind your back fucking God knows who and getting up to God knows what. It'll probably end their marriage.

No judgement, just saying it how it is.

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By *t0600Man
39 weeks ago

elvedon


"Hi all,

I need some advice (not judgement) please.

I used to go swinging with my ex husband right up until we divorced. A few years later I met someone else and remarried.

But he initially wouldn’t entertain any sort of swinging and was very vanilla. I missed the excitement and satisfaction of swinging and so, without his knowledge, slipped into my old life. And for years I have lead this double life.

Then out of the blue today my hubby suggested that maybe we should try swinging. He suggested we join Chameleons and just go a watch others and see if it was sonething we’d enjoy.

My predicament is that I’m already a member and I’m worried people will chat to us and drop out that I’ve been going for a while. But I’m desperate for him to join me in my lifestyle. I thought of going to another club but I know others flit between them.

Any advice welcome.

Come clean I’d say . Or your other option is to say you don’t want to do that which then means you carry on your double life

Imagine your wife or husband telling you they've been swinging for years behind your back fucking God knows who and getting up to God knows what. It'll probably end their marriage.

No judgement, just saying it how it is."

But surely that’s better than living a lie ?

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago


"Hi all,

I need some advice (not judgement) please.

I used to go swinging with my ex husband right up until we divorced. A few years later I met someone else and remarried.

But he initially wouldn’t entertain any sort of swinging and was very vanilla. I missed the excitement and satisfaction of swinging and so, without his knowledge, slipped into my old life. And for years I have lead this double life.

Then out of the blue today my hubby suggested that maybe we should try swinging. He suggested we join Chameleons and just go a watch others and see if it was sonething we’d enjoy.

My predicament is that I’m already a member and I’m worried people will chat to us and drop out that I’ve been going for a while. But I’m desperate for him to join me in my lifestyle. I thought of going to another club but I know others flit between them.

Any advice welcome.

Come clean I’d say . Or your other option is to say you don’t want to do that which then means you carry on your double life

Imagine your wife or husband telling you they've been swinging for years behind your back fucking God knows who and getting up to God knows what. It'll probably end their marriage.

No judgement, just saying it how it is.

But surely that’s better than living a lie ? "

I couldn't say what's best for them. She seems to have been okay with living a lie all these years so far.

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By *t0600Man
39 weeks ago

elvedon


"Hi all,

I need some advice (not judgement) please.

I used to go swinging with my ex husband right up until we divorced. A few years later I met someone else and remarried.

But he initially wouldn’t entertain any sort of swinging and was very vanilla. I missed the excitement and satisfaction of swinging and so, without his knowledge, slipped into my old life. And for years I have lead this double life.

Then out of the blue today my hubby suggested that maybe we should try swinging. He suggested we join Chameleons and just go a watch others and see if it was sonething we’d enjoy.

My predicament is that I’m already a member and I’m worried people will chat to us and drop out that I’ve been going for a while. But I’m desperate for him to join me in my lifestyle. I thought of going to another club but I know others flit between them.

Any advice welcome.

Come clean I’d say . Or your other option is to say you don’t want to do that which then means you carry on your double life

Imagine your wife or husband telling you they've been swinging for years behind your back fucking God knows who and getting up to God knows what. It'll probably end their marriage.

No judgement, just saying it how it is.

But surely that’s better than living a lie ?

I couldn't say what's best for them. She seems to have been okay with living a lie all these years so far."

I’m not saying what’s best I’m just saying it from my point of view

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago


"Hi all,

I need some advice (not judgement) please.

I used to go swinging with my ex husband right up until we divorced. A few years later I met someone else and remarried.

But he initially wouldn’t entertain any sort of swinging and was very vanilla. I missed the excitement and satisfaction of swinging and so, without his knowledge, slipped into my old life. And for years I have lead this double life.

Then out of the blue today my hubby suggested that maybe we should try swinging. He suggested we join Chameleons and just go a watch others and see if it was sonething we’d enjoy.

My predicament is that I’m already a member and I’m worried people will chat to us and drop out that I’ve been going for a while. But I’m desperate for him to join me in my lifestyle. I thought of going to another club but I know others flit between them.

Any advice welcome.

Come clean I’d say . Or your other option is to say you don’t want to do that which then means you carry on your double life

Imagine your wife or husband telling you they've been swinging for years behind your back fucking God knows who and getting up to God knows what. It'll probably end their marriage.

No judgement, just saying it how it is.

But surely that’s better than living a lie ?

I couldn't say what's best for them. She seems to have been okay with living a lie all these years so far.

I’m not saying what’s best I’m just saying it from my point of view "

And my point of view is, unless she's potentially willing for her marriage to end, then she shouldn't say anything and avoid going to a club with him. "Better than living lie" is sort of irrelevant, because it seems she's been happy doing that for years. Divorces are extremely messy, very expensive, emotionally and physically draining. So it's a risk telling him, all for the sake of not "living a lie." That's been her choice for years because she felt living without swinging wasn't an option.

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago


"Any chance he already knows about your double life?"

That's what I thought. Maybe he's trying to give you a chance to come clean or catch you out.

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By *issmorganWoman
39 weeks ago

Calderdale innit


"Any chance he already knows about your double life?

That's what I thought. Maybe he's trying to give you a chance to come clean or catch you out. "

Yeah I thought along the same lines, what's suddenly changed if he was so against it?.

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By *otBrunetteHimCouple
39 weeks ago

birmingham


"Hi all,

I need some advice (not judgement) please.

I used to go swinging with my ex husband right up until we divorced. A few years later I met someone else and remarried.

But he initially wouldn’t entertain any sort of swinging and was very vanilla. I missed the excitement and satisfaction of swinging and so, without his knowledge, slipped into my old life. And for years I have lead this double life.

Then out of the blue today my hubby suggested that maybe we should try swinging. He suggested we join Chameleons and just go a watch others and see if it was sonething we’d enjoy.

My predicament is that I’m already a member and I’m worried people will chat to us and drop out that I’ve been going for a while. But I’m desperate for him to join me in my lifestyle. I thought of going to another club but I know others flit between them.

Any advice welcome. "

Feels like he may already know and is giving you the chance to come clean?? Other than that if it’s genuine interest in going would you want him to be humiliated in front of people he doesn’t know

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By *icolerobbieCouple
39 weeks ago

walsall


"Any chance he already knows about your double life?

That's what I thought. Maybe he's trying to give you a chance to come clean or catch you out.

Yeah I thought along the same lines, what's suddenly changed if he was so against it?. "

Maybe he’s already been told that the op has been spotted in a sex club within 2 miles of where they live?

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By *iny_tight_puss OP   Woman
39 weeks ago

wednesbury

I have had a few close calls but always seem to have explained myself and he’s never bought it up before

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By *iny_tight_puss OP   Woman
39 weeks ago

wednesbury

How do I find out?

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By *he Flat CapsCouple
39 weeks ago

Pontypool

It's one thing to go from hard no, to let's join the local club. I'd have expected the topic to have been brought up and discussed between you.

You say you've had a few close calls, but you think you got away with it. What if you haven't?

For me, Mrs, it seems very suspicious.

I hope it works out in the best way for you, OP

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By *exyfuncouple-40Couple
39 weeks ago

Bloxham

Think your going to have to come clean or accept no swinging , sounds like he all ready knows about your double life

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By *issmorganWoman
39 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I feel like he already knows or suspects something op.

Have you asked him why he's suddenly changed his mind about swinging?.

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By *oveToPlay.Couple
39 weeks ago

Yorkshire

1) I think he already knows

2) don't take him to a club where he could possibly face the humiliation of meeting people you've played with without his knowledge

3) think about how it would make you feel if this was the reverse situation - would you want to know or just have him lie and save you from the pain

4) going by number 1 ypu either need to fess up or stop what you're doing

S

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

Funny how all the swingers think he already knows. I'm really not sure this is how non swingers generally react when they found out their partner of ever how many years in what they thought was a monogamous relationship has been cheating on them with potentially dozens and dozens of people. You're seeing it through rose tinted swinging glasses.I'm assuming this is the female halfs and women thinking this. I wonder if it was roles reversed you'd have the same opinions?

Honestly though, no judgement OP. I just think you're in a bit of a pickle and I'm not sure the advice you'll get from here will be the best. Only you'll know truly how to navigate this, but you could potentially break this man.

I wish you luck and hope it all works out.

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By *issmorganWoman
39 weeks ago

Calderdale innit


"Funny how all the swingers think he already knows. I'm really not sure this is how non swingers generally react when they found out their partner of ever how many years in what they thought was a monogamous relationship has been cheating on them with potentially dozens and dozens of people. You're seeing it through rose tinted swinging glasses.I'm assuming this is the female halfs and women thinking this. I wonder if it was roles reversed you'd have the same opinions?

Honestly though, no judgement OP. I just think you're in a bit of a pickle and I'm not sure the advice you'll get from here will be the best. Only you'll know truly how to navigate this, but you could potentially break this man.

I wish you luck and hope it all works out."

Don't you think it's a little odd that he's had a sudden change of opinion?.

People will react in different ways, he may just hope this prompts her to confess or stops it altogether.Or he's looking for some give away in her reaction.

Maybe it's totally innocent and he's genuinely decided he wants to give it a go, who knows.

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By *ortney CocksWoman
39 weeks ago

.

I wouldn’t go to the club you go with your husband just in case someone says something or maybe suggest you go a club further away from where you live or (just say it’s not what you want anymore) & just lay low for a bit from swinging & see how it goes if he forgets about it.

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By *ie n MashCouple
39 weeks ago

Back in Malice

Just discussed this with my Wife, whose immediate reaction was “I would have to fess up”.

My advice is do not take him to a club on your doorstep, unless he knows in advance of what you have got up to there.

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By *ie n MashCouple
39 weeks ago

Back in Malice

And by him knowing in advance, I mean you tell him.

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By *t0600Man
39 weeks ago

elvedon


"Hi all,

I need some advice (not judgement) please.

I used to go swinging with my ex husband right up until we divorced. A few years later I met someone else and remarried.

But he initially wouldn’t entertain any sort of swinging and was very vanilla. I missed the excitement and satisfaction of swinging and so, without his knowledge, slipped into my old life. And for years I have lead this double life.

Then out of the blue today my hubby suggested that maybe we should try swinging. He suggested we join Chameleons and just go a watch others and see if it was sonething we’d enjoy.

My predicament is that I’m already a member and I’m worried people will chat to us and drop out that I’ve been going for a while. But I’m desperate for him to join me in my lifestyle. I thought of going to another club but I know others flit between them.

Any advice welcome.

Come clean I’d say . Or your other option is to say you don’t want to do that which then means you carry on your double life

Imagine your wife or husband telling you they've been swinging for years behind your back fucking God knows who and getting up to God knows what. It'll probably end their marriage.

No judgement, just saying it how it is.

But surely that’s better than living a lie ?

I couldn't say what's best for them. She seems to have been okay with living a lie all these years so far.

I’m not saying what’s best I’m just saying it from my point of view

And my point of view is, unless she's potentially willing for her marriage to end, then she shouldn't say anything and avoid going to a club with him. "Better than living lie" is sort of irrelevant, because it seems she's been happy doing that for years. Divorces are extremely messy, very expensive, emotionally and physically draining. So it's a risk telling him, all for the sake of not "living a lie." That's been her choice for years because she felt living without swinging wasn't an option. "

I see what you’re saying . I’m just saying personally I would rather not live a lie . And because someone has made that choice for a long time it doesn’t mean they want to carry on like that forever

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago


"Funny how all the swingers think he already knows. I'm really not sure this is how non swingers generally react when they found out their partner of ever how many years in what they thought was a monogamous relationship has been cheating on them with potentially dozens and dozens of people. You're seeing it through rose tinted swinging glasses.I'm assuming this is the female halfs and women thinking this. I wonder if it was roles reversed you'd have the same opinions?

Honestly though, no judgement OP. I just think you're in a bit of a pickle and I'm not sure the advice you'll get from here will be the best. Only you'll know truly how to navigate this, but you could potentially break this man.

I wish you luck and hope it all works out.

Don't you think it's a little odd that he's had a sudden change of opinion?.

People will react in different ways, he may just hope this prompts her to confess or stops it altogether.Or he's looking for some give away in her reaction.

Maybe it's totally innocent and he's genuinely decided he wants to give it a go, who knows. "

No I don't think it's odd. Most people would feel humiliated, betrayed, their life was a complete lie, anger, shame, utter sadness and heartache. Now is it possible that he knows? Yes. Is it possible he's actually okay with it and is intrigued by it? Yes it is. However is it more likely he's his changed mind for another reason? I'd say yes. Maybe he thinks it's a way to boost their sex life. Maybe he thinks he's got to a certain age in life and decided to experience new things. Maybe it's a midlife crisis. Maybe it's something else. But the least likely of maybes are that he knows. This isn't a fairy tale. Cheating brings misery and pain 99.9% of the time. Maybe that 00.1% of the time the person being cheated on will say 'I know how to sort this, let's go to swinging clubs together where you've been fucking every Tom, Dick and Harry behind my back.' The humiliation alone nevermind the break in trust. But you think he knows, I definitely don't think he knows and that's coming from a man's point of view. This is exactly the same scenario if the roles were reversed too. Just my opinion though.

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago


"Hi all,

I need some advice (not judgement) please.

I used to go swinging with my ex husband right up until we divorced. A few years later I met someone else and remarried.

But he initially wouldn’t entertain any sort of swinging and was very vanilla. I missed the excitement and satisfaction of swinging and so, without his knowledge, slipped into my old life. And for years I have lead this double life.

Then out of the blue today my hubby suggested that maybe we should try swinging. He suggested we join Chameleons and just go a watch others and see if it was sonething we’d enjoy.

My predicament is that I’m already a member and I’m worried people will chat to us and drop out that I’ve been going for a while. But I’m desperate for him to join me in my lifestyle. I thought of going to another club but I know others flit between them.

Any advice welcome.

Come clean I’d say . Or your other option is to say you don’t want to do that which then means you carry on your double life

Imagine your wife or husband telling you they've been swinging for years behind your back fucking God knows who and getting up to God knows what. It'll probably end their marriage.

No judgement, just saying it how it is.

But surely that’s better than living a lie ?

I couldn't say what's best for them. She seems to have been okay with living a lie all these years so far.

I’m not saying what’s best I’m just saying it from my point of view

And my point of view is, unless she's potentially willing for her marriage to end, then she shouldn't say anything and avoid going to a club with him. "Better than living lie" is sort of irrelevant, because it seems she's been happy doing that for years. Divorces are extremely messy, very expensive, emotionally and physically draining. So it's a risk telling him, all for the sake of not "living a lie." That's been her choice for years because she felt living without swinging wasn't an option.

I see what you’re saying . I’m just saying personally I would rather not live a lie . And because someone has made that choice for a long time it doesn’t mean they want to carry on like that forever "

I do agree with you actually but I'm not sure that's what the OP wants. Only pain and misery comes from these scenarios.

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By *glyBettyTV/TS
39 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

Like others have said, my first reaction was he probably already knows & is either trying to get you to admit it, or has reluctantly decided to make this compromise for the sake of saving the relationship.

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
39 weeks ago

somewhere

Speaking from experience, being "that" person going off behind partners back, he will have an inkling something is going on, no matter how good you think you are at hiding it, there will be signs, maybe it was just me and shit at it but if he has suddenly changed his mind and even knows about a swingers club close to you (unless you have drifted the idea to him before), you may have had close calls in the past but possibly someone that knows your husband and only you by a picture possibly could have seen you.

Confess everything at this stage and try and work through it and good luck x

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
39 weeks ago

Northampton

Sounds like you’ll be swinging right up until you get divorced OP

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
39 weeks ago

East Sussex

Either tell him or don't, there's no alternative.

If you were a man saying you'd done this to your wife you'd have been metaphorically hung, drawn and quartered by now.

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

This could end very badly for you I’m afraid

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

Ok so your profile says bi curious, you could always say you have been before to try with women it’s just a suggestion

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By *ellhungvweMan
39 weeks ago

Cheltenham


"Either tell him or don't, there's no alternative.

If you were a man saying you'd done this to your wife you'd have been metaphorically hung, drawn and quartered by now. "

100% agree.

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By *r K and Mrs LCouple
39 weeks ago

Leicester

I have a feeling he already knows and is looking to see how you react and if you come clean, if he doesn’t know but is genuinely curious then you owe it to him to be honest, bottom line is you really should of had this conversation with him at the start, preferably before you got married and told him straight that you didn’t want to give up the lifestyle..

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago


"Ok so your profile says bi curious, you could always say you have been before to try with women it’s just a suggestion "

It's still cheating .... I wouldn't appreciate an partner being bi curious with other men behind my back.

OP you are going to have to decide because your behaviour is not fair kind on your spouse.

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By *entleman JayMan
39 weeks ago

Wakefield

I knew a lady who had a similar predicament. She messaged me to ask, if I bumped into them both, I was to pretend I didn’t know her.

I did bump into them and I pretended I’d not met her before. I wasn’t going to blow her cover.

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By *assy LassieWoman
39 weeks ago

Lanarkshire


"Either tell him or don't, there's no alternative.

If you were a man saying you'd done this to your wife you'd have been metaphorically hung, drawn and quartered by now. "

Absolutely this and it's laughable all the men giving advice to double down on the lying and deceit.

He knows and the least the OP can do now is be honest with him.

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By *LiamMan
39 weeks ago

Midlands

You've fucked it

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
39 weeks ago

Behind the bike shed!

Unfortunately this is the consequence of non ethical non monogamy. As you’ve been to chams as a single person I expect people have interacted with you that were not aware they were being complicit in cheating?

I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life but you probably need to either stop involving unwitting people on your deception or tell him everything!

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By *ed_BlueCouple
39 weeks ago

Loughborough

So option 1) come clean and fess up.

2) keep lieing and not caring about what your doing

3) finish the relationship as youve already fucked it up.

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By *rpeggioCouple
39 weeks ago

Baughurst

Tell him. Apologise for having lied and tell him you have chosen to be with him, but you liked the lifestyle and you wished he had been also enjoying it with you all these years. It won't be pretty and there will be tears but if your relationship is worth it's salt it will endure and flourish now that they're will be no more lies see. If it doesn't... Then consider why are you two together?

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By *iny_tight_puss OP   Woman
39 weeks ago

wednesbury

So we’ve sat and talked about it. He’s confessed he had a 3 sum with his friend his wife and that he really enjoyed it. I know his friends as we’ve bumped into each other on more than on occasion so decided to be slightly honest without admitting all the detaiks

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By *heelerMan
39 weeks ago

Northants

Why not go to another club a bit further away saying so we dont get recognised.

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By *rpeggioCouple
39 weeks ago

Baughurst


"So we’ve sat and talked about it. He’s confessed he had a 3 sum with his friend his wife and that he really enjoyed it. I know his friends as we’ve bumped into each other on more than on occasion so decided to be slightly honest without admitting all the detaiks"

That's good OP that you have had a conversation. If you are both still interested to go on swinging, as a couple and/or solo, then next step is set up mutually agreed boundaries and be honest with each other from now on. What's past is is past.

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By *andA123Couple
39 weeks ago

cannock


"Hi all,

I need some advice (not judgement) please.

I used to go swinging with my ex husband right up until we divorced. A few years later I met someone else and remarried.

But he initially wouldn’t entertain any sort of swinging and was very vanilla. I missed the excitement and satisfaction of swinging and so, without his knowledge, slipped into my old life. And for years I have lead this double life.

Then out of the blue today my hubby suggested that maybe we should try swinging. He suggested we join Chameleons and just go a watch others and see if it was sonething we’d enjoy.

My predicament is that I’m already a member and I’m worried people will chat to us and drop out that I’ve been going for a while. But I’m desperate for him to join me in my lifestyle. I thought of going to another club but I know others flit between them.

Any advice welcome. "

Maybe say to him let’s try a club away from home one where you are less likely to know someone like the one in Stoke and on your single profile let people know if they know you to act like they don’t as your bring your partner in on it

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By *ecky and justCouple
39 weeks ago

Godalming

He knows.

He probably knows you’re on Fab as well.

He may even have an account on here.

If you go to a club where you’re well known it will be ruinous for you both.

Be honest. Only way forward.

Male half here.

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By *lym4realCouple
39 weeks ago

plymouth

To be brutally honest we wouldn't have a clue what to do apart from come clean and admit to your double life and then take whatever is coming as don't think he'll be a happy bunny to say the least and might well end the marriage and my Ex did the very same thing though as we used to have fun together and then for various reasons ( mostly mine to busy being a father and not a husband) we stopped and the biggest kink/kick she got was me watching her have fun with males/females and her watching me do the same but she went off with another chap thinking he'd be into it but he wasn't although apparently he implied he was into "Open Minded" female's ( control freak and most females found him way to creepy and abit of a trouser stroker!) and so off she went doing her stuff like she did until he found out and then it all ended rather badly by all acounts ? and so we wish you the best of luck though and hopefully for you both you can sort it all out !!! and honesty is really the best policy and read so many of these stories nowadays ? xx

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By *allipygousMan
39 weeks ago

Leicester


"Either tell him or don't, there's no alternative.

If you were a man saying you'd done this to your wife you'd have been metaphorically hung, drawn and quartered by now.

Absolutely this and it's laughable all the men giving advice to double down on the lying and deceit.

He knows and the least the OP can do now is be honest with him. "

I think you misunderstand. Nice couple aren't commenting on the advice given by men. She is saying that if a man had started the exact same thread he would be being slaughtered, by both men and women.

If hypocrisy had a smell these forums would stink at times.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
39 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon


"Either tell him or don't, there's no alternative.

If you were a man saying you'd done this to your wife you'd have been metaphorically hung, drawn and quartered by now.

Absolutely this and it's laughable all the men giving advice to double down on the lying and deceit.

He knows and the least the OP can do now is be honest with him.

I think you misunderstand. Nice couple aren't commenting on the advice given by men. She is saying that if a man had started the exact same thread he would be being slaughtered, by both men and women.

If hypocrisy had a smell these forums would stink at times."

100%

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By *assy LassieWoman
39 weeks ago

Lanarkshire


"Either tell him or don't, there's no alternative.

If you were a man saying you'd done this to your wife you'd have been metaphorically hung, drawn and quartered by now.

Absolutely this and it's laughable all the men giving advice to double down on the lying and deceit.

He knows and the least the OP can do now is be honest with him.

I think you misunderstand. Nice couple aren't commenting on the advice given by men. She is saying that if a man had started the exact same thread he would be being slaughtered, by both men and women.

If hypocrisy had a smell these forums would stink at times."

I understood and agreed with the double standards. I then added it being laughable the advice given by men on the thread

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

This is a very delicate situation. Tread carefully. Hes going to be so hurt if he finds out. You run the risk of him leaving. This isn't a sex thing, it's a trust thing. Once that's broken there might be no way back, even if he stays his trust in you is damaged.

Maybe suggest a couples account on here, go to fab social's outside of the area, build it up slowly?

I suppose the answer is theres no easy answer. Only you know him, what the outcome would be if he found out. It wasn't swinging, it was cheating. I hope you can sort this and maintain a good relationship

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago


"This is a very delicate situation. Tread carefully. Hes going to be so hurt if he finds out. You run the risk of him leaving. This isn't a sex thing, it's a trust thing. Once that's broken there might be no way back, even if he stays his trust in you is damaged.

Maybe suggest a couples account on here, go to fab social's outside of the area, build it up slowly?

I suppose the answer is theres no easy answer. Only you know him, what the outcome would be if he found out. It wasn't swinging, it was cheating. I hope you can sort this and maintain a good relationship

Mrs "

Apparently he had a threesome with his mate and mate's wife, confessed all to her and she's confessed a little to him and all is hunky dory now and that's why all of a sudden he's interested in Swinger Clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago


"This is a very delicate situation. Tread carefully. Hes going to be so hurt if he finds out. You run the risk of him leaving. This isn't a sex thing, it's a trust thing. Once that's broken there might be no way back, even if he stays his trust in you is damaged.

Maybe suggest a couples account on here, go to fab social's outside of the area, build it up slowly?

I suppose the answer is theres no easy answer. Only you know him, what the outcome would be if he found out. It wasn't swinging, it was cheating. I hope you can sort this and maintain a good relationship

Mrs

Apparently he had a threesome with his mate and mate's wife, confessed all to her and she's confessed a little to him and all is hunky dory now and that's why all of a sudden he's interested in Swinger Clubs "

Oooooo, right, I missed that stuff. Well that's kinda a game changer. Fuck him. Tell him and say sorry and off ya go

Mrs

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By *estriancdtopTV/TS
4 weeks ago

chester

I say you feel that it a little close to home if anyone speaks to us at another club just claim they must be mistaken people in no scene are pretty discreet

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By *orny salesmanMan
4 weeks ago

Preston


"Hi all,

I need some advice (not judgement) please.

I used to go swinging with my ex husband right up until we divorced. A few years later I met someone else and remarried.

But he initially wouldn’t entertain any sort of swinging and was very vanilla. I missed the excitement and satisfaction of swinging and so, without his knowledge, slipped into my old life. And for years I have lead this double life.

Then out of the blue today my hubby suggested that maybe we should try swinging. He suggested we join Chameleons and just go a watch others and see if it was sonething we’d enjoy.

My predicament is that I’m already a member and I’m worried people will chat to us and drop out that I’ve been going for a while. But I’m desperate for him to join me in my lifestyle. I thought of going to another club but I know others flit between them.

Any advice welcome.

Come clean I’d say . Or your other option is to say you don’t want to do that which then means you carry on your double life

Imagine your wife or husband telling you they've been swinging for years behind your back fucking God knows who and getting up to God knows what. It'll probably end their marriage.

No judgement, just saying it how it is.

But surely that’s better than living a lie ?

I couldn't say what's best for them. She seems to have been okay with living a lie all these years so far."

Maybe say you want to do it but not locally and go for a weekend away which I corporates a club visit ?

I am in same situation as you but wife not interested I want to try again to get her into it but when we go on a cruise in the summer l have been to a few local clubs but always loads of guys compared to number or women and so doubt l would get recognised if l am lucky enough to get her into it I do really want to watch her with another guy

Is there a chance he's worked out what you are doing and is trying to catch you out

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By *r-Mrs BackagainCouple
4 weeks ago

scotland

100% honesty is always the best policy . Without honesty things always end badly

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By *ink vixenCouple
4 weeks ago

Medway

Has anyone said “show him your profile on here” yet?

Always the way when it’s a bloke that’s cheating.

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