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How to reject at a club

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
41 weeks ago

So as newbies still one of our biggest worries at a club is saying no to any advances we don't want ...for whatever reason....Im under no illusion we will also be rejected but how do you go about this without coming across rude or seeming arrogant? Do people take it personally as such and get funny about it or is this a normal part of the clubs?

Thanks all

Poppy and bobby xx

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By *ecky and justCouple
41 weeks ago

Godalming

It’s a normal part of going to a club.

You’re not expected to play with everyone and anyone, you make your own choices.

Anyone who behaves badly upon not being chosen is not the sort of person you want to spend time with anyway.

We just let people know that we’re not a match. No further explanation necessary.

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

A polite no thank you is enough have fun and good luck

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By *dc1Man
41 weeks ago

essex and all over the south

Im replying as a couple, as i go to clubs with a friend. You may well get some single men keep on. If so report them to managment. We only go on couples nights. It might be best for your first visit

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By *ed MartinMan
41 weeks ago

Shefford


"So as newbies still one of our biggest worries at a club is saying no to any advances we don't want ...for whatever reason....Im under no illusion we will also be rejected but how do you go about this without coming across rude or seeming arrogant? Do people take it personally as such and get funny about it or is this a normal part of the clubs?

Thanks all

Poppy and bobby xx"

I’ve never seen anyone get rejected at a club and take it badly without club management dealing with it PDQ.

Saying no without feeling like an arsehole can be quite difficult at times, but a “thanks but no thanks” should be all that is needed. If you want to be more specific, it might be gentler and easier on you to say “thanks but we’re not looking for that at the moment”. Make it the act that you are rejecting, not the person.

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By *ebaucherous_duoCouple
41 weeks ago

Bristol/ Daventry

“Thanks for the chat it’s been great, we hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Or a “thank you but no thank you.” If they get pushy, no is a complete sentence and walk away. We use “do we need something from the bag/let the dog out etc” to let each other know that we’re not interested in the person/s.

You can also change your mind at any time. Just because you said yes/went into a room etc. doesn’t mean you have to carry on. A simple, thanks but we’ve changed our minds is perfectly fine. People are typically quite chill about it and get on with their evening just fine.

We hope you have the best time

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By *oveToPlay.Couple
41 weeks ago

Yorkshire

Hey OP

We go to clubs quite a bit and never had to actually say to someone 'you're not for us' or 'no thanks' etc.

We just tend to say ' lovely to talk to you, hope you have a lovely evening' or ' great to chat, we're just going to go to the bar' etc etc

People are generally really good at taking the hint without the need for awkward conversations

S xxx

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By *aomilatteCouple
41 weeks ago

Midlands


"So as newbies still one of our biggest worries at a club is saying no to any advances we don't want ...for whatever reason....Im under no illusion we will also be rejected but how do you go about this without coming across rude or seeming arrogant? Do people take it personally as such and get funny about it or is this a normal part of the clubs?

Thanks all

Poppy and bobby xx"

You can generally tell in the chat (if it gets flirty) if people are interested in playing. If you're not interested in playing when asked simply say "no we're ok thanks", that's definitely not rude or arrogant.

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By *ighland couple 99Couple
41 weeks ago

Inverness


"So as newbies still one of our biggest worries at a club is saying no to any advances we don't want ...for whatever reason....Im under no illusion we will also be rejected but how do you go about this without coming across rude or seeming arrogant? Do people take it personally as such and get funny about it or is this a normal part of the clubs?

Thanks all

Poppy and bobby xx"

This is a worry of ours too, we would feel really cheeky saying no to people face to face.

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By *ebaucherous_duoCouple
41 weeks ago

Bristol/ Daventry

It’s not cheeky at all. It’s consent and everyone should be absolutely good with that. If they are not, this isn’t the lifestyle for them.

Xx

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By *reenleavesCouple
41 weeks ago

North Wales


"

You can generally tell in the chat (if it gets flirty) if people are interested in playing. If you're not interested in playing when asked simply say "no we're ok thanks", that's definitely not rude or arrogant."

Very much this! If you're in the chat stage and you're really not feeling it and can feel them building to the 'do you wanna' question, don't be afraid to wrap things up and 'go for a look around'.

I don't think we've ever had to directly ask people if they'd like to play. Our conversations have either dead ended or they've flowed to the point where playing is an obvious next step.

We have had to turn people down tho. We try and do it as nicely but as clearly as we can so theres no confusion or false hope. 'sorry, it's a no but thank you so much' generally does it. We did have one couple get into the 'but why not?' and seemed to get a little huffy. We just said we weren't feeling the connection and made our exit

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By *oodyandBuzz69Couple
41 weeks ago

basildon

Just a polite no thanks seems to work

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By *hoirCouple
41 weeks ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds


"So as newbies still one of our biggest worries at a club is saying no to any advances we don't want ...for whatever reason....Im under no illusion we will also be rejected but how do you go about this without coming across rude or seeming arrogant? Do people take it personally as such and get funny about it or is this a normal part of the clubs?

Thanks all

Poppy and bobby xx"

I just say no. I don't care about being called rude though as I will escalate it from that one time if the issue is pressed.

C

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

When weve been to a club ive personally rejected single males twice who asked if they could play or as one put it whilst i was busy licking the mrs "can i have a go" obviously a polite er no thanks followed. Weve not actually been approached by a couple although had many a conversation with some we all wentvour own way.

Another funny one was i went to the toilet then bar and when i returned the mrs was looking somewhat flustered apparently an elderly single gent asked if shed come to his flat in scarborough for him and his mates to fuck for the weekend.

Clubs are weird yet wonderful places. We need a couples only night in a club to try but unsure of which club.

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
41 weeks ago

Bristol

Generally can tell from body language or the way the talk is going. We chat to people, but try not to end up chatting to them for absolutely ages if we have no intention of playing, so as to not block them or us from finding someone else.

We would normally make our excuses and leave after a bit.

If we are interested, we will often say we are going to have a look around and see if anything is happening, and offer them to come with. Gives them a chance to duck out, and if they make their excuses and say they will catch up later, we presume they aren't interested.

We are all grown ups though, so have to be honest with each other.

One awkward one was when we met a single we knew we were interested in, but they'd come with a FWB who we weren't. Having to indicate you were into one, not the other, was a bit awkward, but that's the way it goes sometimes

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By *oxy jWoman
41 weeks ago

somerset

samer as you reject anywhere else with a no thanks ... if they dont like that answer thats their problem not yours..

im alway upfront and honest otherwise your just messing around just be polite but to the point ... im always saying no thanks in clubs i have to be attracted to them and on a average club night that will be most im not interested in..

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By *lthomasMan
41 weeks ago

Edinburgh

A simple no thanks should get you an almost apology from a single guy.

Speaking as a single guy most times couples are happy to speak to you, but may not want to do anything else and most people will pick up on this and not even ask.

If I’m chatting to a couple in a club, it’s normally down to them to ask if I’d like to join them to give me some serious hints with body language.

But no is no

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By *ootyfruityCouple
41 weeks ago

andover

A polite no works well. Though if there’s guys that try to help themselves we move away from them

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By *rlandoMan
41 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

attend such a place and find out for yourself

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By *WB85Man
41 weeks ago

Staffordshire

A simple no thankyou does the job.

If they ask why, and they really shouldnt.....then you tell them to fuck off.

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By *fter dinner delightCouple
41 weeks ago

bury st edmunds/london

We just say no thank you good luck else where 99.9% are fine with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

A simple I'm okay thank you or no thank you is enough for most people. Some guys can't take no for an answer so that's you cue to be a little more stern.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
41 weeks ago

Thank you everyone for that ...some good advice there ...we certainly plan to attend some clubs very soon,sounds like it's a pretty normal thing ....we just need to get in there now and mingle xx

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

"flattered by the erection but no thank you" has been my line a few times

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago


""flattered by the erection but no thank you" has been my line a few times "

Lol brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago


""flattered by the erection but no thank you" has been my line a few times

Lol brilliant "

Works most of the time!

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