FabSwingers.com forum: what age do you consider to be too young?

By *ushykebab69 OP Couple
over a year ago

maidstone

we were invited to a meet last night (not through this site) didn't go as we were only invited at 10pm and I was tucked up in my pj's then but the female is 22 and male is 24, i'm 48 and my OH is 40, my son is 24 so would it feel like I was shagging my son!i'm just not 100% comfortable, OH says he's more than happy with a 22 year old lol

What's your views please?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they are of a similar age to our kids its a "NO THANKS"

Just doesnt feel comfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to say I don't understand the whole 'as young as my kids' thing..

If they are legally on this site I'm ok with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

18 if they carnt drink then they carnt fuck, but going the other way id say about 55-60 depends how we got on

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"Have to say I don't understand the whole 'as young as my kids' thing..

If they are legally on this site I'm ok with it

I'd probably go with this view, although I don't think we'd consider anyone under 25-ish mainly because it's likely we'd be worlds apart socially and I like to be able to converse with any playmates.

The 'young enough to be my kids' thing would severely limit us as my eldest is nearly 33 ... that would discount a very large, relatively mature section of the swinging society.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone under 30

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By *roovytwoCouple
over a year ago

burnley

J thinks that if same age or younger than our kids then no,but its one of N,s fantasies.If we both are not at ease with who we are going to meet then we don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they'd have to be about 10 years older than our kids minimum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's one of the few things the Monkey and I differ on in our swinging...I find I have very little in common with people very much younger than me and would prefer our lower age limit to reflect that and be exactly that...a limit-30 or so would be perfect but he of course has his fantasies about younger women and works with a lot of young lads so relates well to them...hence it's 25...i absolutely will not go below that as I just don't feel attracted to younger couples at all...and i don't have children so that isn't an issue...I'm just not interested in younger people as sexual partners...I fucked men in their 20's when I was in my 20's and don't wish to repeat the experience...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit when we started we have a limit of 45 as anything older would be actually older than my own parents... we since realised age is nothing but a number.

I am 26 but feel very mature for my age, my mr is 9 years older and find we tend to mix well with all age groups.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

For me it's about emotional maturity. How many years someone has been on this earth is not so important.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"they'd have to be about 10 years older than our kids minimum"

Blimey - I wouldn't even be with Zed if I had that rule

I agree with the comment about emotional maturity though - I've met guys in clubs close to my age who are immature and can barely string a coherent, intelligent sentence together and younger guys who are great conversationalists. It's quite hard to generalise but I'd still say 25 - 30 would be a fair 'rule of thumb' guide for me.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

we usually meet people our own age but have had a couple of fantastic meets with people a lot younger than us - WOW - fun! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me it's about emotional maturity. How many years someone has been on this earth is not so important."

I agree with Fornix, I was seeing a woman 17 years older than myself & we got on famously.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile."

A little bit strong and somewhat offensive in my opinion

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"For me it's about emotional maturity. How many years someone has been on this earth is not so important."

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

A little bit strong and somewhat offensive in my opinion

Who am I being offensive about other than myself? Don't be silly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it's just boils down to preference and the compatibility factor... the wider the age gap... sometimes... not always... topics to chat about tends to be limited... but then again I have heard many on here that get on extremely well...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP - if you are not comfortable with their ages, then you're not comfortable. End of.

However, always consider if you met the same couple in a club environment, if they 'looked older', would you even question their ages? Very few do..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they were the same as our kids that would be hugely illegal so we can't use that rule.

Youngest real offer we've had is 21 but it felt too young - HOWEVER - just like with older people I think if we were to meet people and it felt ok the actual age wouldn't matter (and it's not like we ask).

So in here we have the preference thing set, but in actuality it just depends on how we get on, age isn't really an issue.

My advice to the younger people is that pretty much every person we've met on here has been older than their profile by a good few years - so use that trick and you'll be fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile."

I agree too, even in a club I wouldn't go anywhere near anyone I felt too young for me no matter what they were like

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

A little bit strong and somewhat offensive in my opinion

Who am I being offensive about other than myself? Don't be silly."

'Paedophile' is a term than shouldn't be used in a discussion about sex with people who are of a consenting age.

We're talking preferences in age ranges. People may feel uncomfortable playing with those a lot younger than themselves - but feeling like a paedophile?? It's not me that's being silly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me it's about emotional maturity. How many years someone has been on this earth is not so important."

This. I've been turned down numerous times because of my age, which I don't think is completely fair as I believe I am twice as mature as some people twice my age. If you like the look of someone, and their 18+, then go for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

I agree too, even in a club I wouldn't go anywhere near anyone I felt too young for me no matter what they were like"

That is quite patronising.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Do I meet men under 30?...No...

Have I played with men under 30 at a club?...Yes...

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

A little bit strong and somewhat offensive in my opinion

Who am I being offensive about other than myself? Don't be silly.

'Paedophile' is a term than shouldn't be used in a discussion about sex with people who are of a consenting age.

We're talking preferences in age ranges. People may feel uncomfortable playing with those a lot younger than themselves - but feeling like a paedophile?? It's not me that's being silly."

Evidently you want an argument. I'm not going to give you one. It is CLEAR what I meant. I referred to me and how I would feel only hence my use of the first person singular. Why you should take offence at me talking about me and MY feelings I have no idea and have no wish to know so please save yourself the time in trying to explain. I am not interested.

You have CHOSEN to take offense where none was intended. Feel free to do so but do not imagine I have to care about that.

I will not respond to you further on this thread as that is not why it was posted.

That is my final word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

I agree too, even in a club I wouldn't go anywhere near anyone I felt too young for me no matter what they were like

That is quite patronising."

Why is it? I prefer my own age group, that is who I would play with in a club too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have to say I don't understand the whole 'as young as my kids' thing..

If they are legally on this site I'm ok with it

Me either ...only thing in common is age

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

I agree too, even in a club I wouldn't go anywhere near anyone I felt too young for me no matter what they were like

That is quite patronising."

towards whom?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

I agree too, even in a club I wouldn't go anywhere near anyone I felt too young for me no matter what they were like

That is quite patronising.

Why is it? I prefer my own age group, that is who I would play with in a club too"

To me if I could get on with somebody and find them attractive, that's fine - albeit that I've already admitted we discounted an offer on the basis of age already.

I get the previous comment about it having been meant as a comment about themselves moreso than those under that age - but if you were of that age, and were to read that's how others might view you, wouldn't you feel it to be patronising?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

I agree too, even in a club I wouldn't go anywhere near anyone I felt too young for me no matter what they were like

That is quite patronising.

Why is it? I prefer my own age group, that is who I would play with in a club too

To me if I could get on with somebody and find them attractive, that's fine - albeit that I've already admitted we discounted an offer on the basis of age already.

Just did a quick search for couples in our area between 22-32. On the first page of results, of those who set age limits ,only two couples would meet someone of our age.

Are they being condescending?

Of course not,they're merely setting an age preference. No one is being patronised

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

I agree too, even in a club I wouldn't go anywhere near anyone I felt too young for me no matter what they were like

That is quite patronising.

Why is it? I prefer my own age group, that is who I would play with in a club too

To me if I could get on with somebody and find them attractive, that's fine - albeit that I've already admitted we discounted an offer on the basis of age already.

No it wouldn't as there are young people that are not interested in my age group and those that might are well aware that there are those of us not interested in their age group. And before you comment further, I have no objection to chatting to anyone no matter what age and indeed I have including at parties and clubs but wouldn't venture to anything more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My lower age limit is set to 25 because by that point they are little more self aware and experienced in terms of knowing themselves and what they like.

Recently though, I have been enjoying the company of an 18 year old and by that, I mean doing stuff other than just bedroom activities.

Surprisingly (and more to my surprise than anyone elses), we have more in common than at first you might think.

That said though, the age difference does play on my mind and I can fully understand why those with kids of that age or older might find it distasteful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My lower age limit is set to 25 because by that point they are little more self aware and experienced in terms of knowing themselves and what they like.

Recently though, I have been enjoying the company of an 18 year old and by that, I mean doing stuff other than just bedroom activities.

Surprisingly (and more to my surprise than anyone elses), we have more in common than at first you might think.

That said though, the age difference does play on my mind and I can fully understand why those with kids of that age or older might find it distasteful."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we were invited to a meet last night (not through this site) didn't go as we were only invited at 10pm and I was tucked up in my pj's then but the female is 22 and male is 24, i'm 48 and my OH is 40, my son is 24 so would it feel like I was shagging my son!i'm just not 100% comfortable, OH says he's more than happy with a 22 year old lol

What's your views please?"

I have a 20 year old and tho 20 is to young for me I wouldn't feel it was like shagging my child, I find that an odd thing to say

I tend not to go for to young as I don't find I have anything in common with young people, I like to meet people who are more on my maturity level as good conversation is as important as good sex to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The words I quoted were:

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

I agree too, even in a club I wouldn't go anywhere near anyone I felt too young for me no matter what they were like

If someone were to say to me that having sex with me would feel like paedophillia and they would not go anywhere near me in a club - I would find that quite patronising.

Now from subsequent responses that's maybe not how those things were intended - but it is to that which I was initially responding!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only ever tried a younger guy once and it is not the same - both parties never have the same tastes or anything in common.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as we are not in the same genetic pool who cares!!! Do prefer over 35 but late 20s with a 6 pack & staying power ummmm tempting x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/03/13 18:19:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The words I quoted were:

Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

I agree too, even in a club I wouldn't go anywhere near anyone I felt too young for me no matter what they were like

If someone were to say to me that having sex with me would feel like paedophillia and they would not go anywhere near me in a club - I would find that quite patronising.

Now from subsequent responses that's maybe not how those things were intended - but it is to that which I was initially responding!

Gotcha though no-one would say that to you face to face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The words I quoted were:

Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

I agree too, even in a club I wouldn't go anywhere near anyone I felt too young for me no matter what they were like

If someone were to say to me that having sex with me would feel like paedophillia and they would not go anywhere near me in a club - I would find that quite patronising.

Now from subsequent responses that's maybe not how those things were intended - but it is to that which I was initially responding!

Gotcha though no-one would say that to you face to face"

Not to me, those days are gone

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

I agree too, even in a club I wouldn't go anywhere near anyone I felt too young for me no matter what they were like

That is quite patronising.

towards whom?"

It is quite patronising to say you wouldnt go near them....

But im sure that is not exactly what she meant......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can see this causing problems for me...thank god its my birthday in just over a week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

I agree too, even in a club I wouldn't go anywhere near anyone I felt too young for me no matter what they were like

That is quite patronising.

towards whom?

It is quite patronising to say you wouldnt go near them....

But im sure that is not exactly what she meant......"

I meant exactly what I said, age is a huge issue for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can see this causing problems for me...thank god its my birthday in just over a week

Why, what difference will it make being 23

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can see this causing problems for me...thank god its my birthday in just over a week

Why, what difference will it make being 23

Will be a little bit older

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

A little bit strong and somewhat offensive in my opinion

Who am I being offensive about other than myself? Don't be silly."

it is offensive as your saying any of us who go with people under 30 are by your definition a peadophile..

you are also suggesting anyone aged 18-30 are just mere children.. can you honestly say at the age of 29 you felt like a child at the time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only ever tried a younger guy once and it is not the same - both parties never have the same tastes or anything in common."

you may not have the same tastes as someone younger..

but that doesnt mean everyone doesnt

all this talk of guys under 30.. yum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a kid who's in his 20's so I am usually really a stickler to 30+ but I've always liked a guy a bit older anyway. Husband does not share that view and likes em young!

I know I shouldn't be ageist b/c I'm sure there are lovely guys out there but I just can't help it.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

A little bit strong and somewhat offensive in my opinion

Who am I being offensive about other than myself? Don't be silly.

it is offensive as your saying any of us who go with people under 30 are by your definition a peadophile..

you are also suggesting anyone aged 18-30 are just mere children.. can you honestly say at the age of 29 you felt like a child at the time?"

You explained my point perfectly. I wasn't looking for an argument but I'm sure if I were 29 years old (a distant memory!) I'd have felt bloody offended if someone said having sex with me made them feel like a paedophile! I was married with 3 kids by then making me by no means a 'child'.

I absolutely defend people's choices regarding age but have the right to challenge a word I feel is being used inappropriately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No lower than 18 it's not right

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By *illybare partyMan
over a year ago

norh east

I started swinging at 18 had people refer to me as ' too young' and 'your old enough to be my daughter'

So my two cents is, as long as your over 18, then its personility and maturity that should make your mind up. Ive met imature 40 year olds and wise 25 year olds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I am 58 and my son is nearly 20. I had a boy of 19 msg I gave a nice reply and advised he finds somebody nearer his age and why is he on a site like this. I would be mortified if my son was on here . Should be out enjoying himself with ppl his own age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I am 58 and my son is nearly 20. I had a boy of 19 msg I gave a nice reply and advised he finds somebody nearer his age and why is he on a site like this. I would be mortified if my son was on here . Should be out enjoying himself with ppl his own age."

Why should he not be enjoying himself on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

should be out enjoying himself with people his own age?? not everyone is into that tho..

and being on here doesnt mean they dont go out too..

such an odd attitude i find, you could say those over 60 should be watching tv with their slippers up of an evening..

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

It is quite patronising to say you wouldnt go near them....

But im sure that is not exactly what she meant......

I meant exactly what I said, age is a huge issue for me"

So, if younger guy comes near you just chatting for sake of it......you run off???

What i was saying, and you obviously never got it, was maybe saying you wouldnt play with younger instead of saying you wouldnt go near them wouldnt have sounded so patronising..

Gawd some people are touchy.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is quite patronising to say you wouldnt go near them....

But im sure that is not exactly what she meant......

I meant exactly what I said, age is a huge issue for me

So, if younger guy comes near you just chatting for sake of it......you run off???

What i was saying, and you obviously never got it, was maybe saying you wouldnt play with younger instead of saying you wouldnt go near them wouldnt have sounded so patronising..

Gawd some people are touchy.....

Yea but perhaps in saying I wouldn't go near them I meant as in wouldn't play with them

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

It is quite patronising to say you wouldnt go near them....

But im sure that is not exactly what she meant......

I meant exactly what I said, age is a huge issue for me

So, if younger guy comes near you just chatting for sake of it......you run off???

What i was saying, and you obviously never got it, was maybe saying you wouldnt play with younger instead of saying you wouldnt go near them wouldnt have sounded so patronising..

Gawd some people are touchy.....

Yea but perhaps in saying I wouldn't go near them I meant as in wouldn't play with them

And what did I say????

"Im sure thats not exactly what she meant"!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to me age is nothing as long as both parties are willing as long as they are 18 and up then its fine by me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I guess times have changed and I know I am somewhat of a golden oldie I only lost my virginity at 19! Oh well I must try and keep up lol

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House

We would never consider playing with anyone younger or as young as our earliest child. Seems a bit creepy to us.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"If they are of a similar age to our kids its a "NO THANKS"

Just doesnt feel comfortable."

Totally agree

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Have to say I don't understand the whole 'as young as my kids' thing..

If they are legally on this site I'm ok with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing below 30. Beyond that I feel like a paedophile.

A little bit strong and somewhat offensive in my opinion

Who am I being offensive about other than myself? Don't be silly.

it is offensive as your saying any of us who go with people under 30 are by your definition a peadophile..

you are also suggesting anyone aged 18-30 are just mere children.. can you honestly say at the age of 29 you felt like a child at the time?

I absolutely defend people's choices regarding age but have the right to challenge a word I feel is being used inappropriately."

I honestly believe the word being used inappropriately the most is patronising. As inigo montoya would say 'I do not think that word means what you think it means'

patronising

Verb:

Treat with an apparent kindness that betrays a feeling of superiority

Hmm now maybe im being patronising.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

Inigo Montoya for PM!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you look a little more deeply, you may find more thorough definitions of the term 'patronising'.

Now that's patronising too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Judging by some of the comments on here age has nothing to do with acting grown up or being mature lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh grow up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think a lot of young people on here get tarnished with the same brush in all fairness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if folk are old enough to go fight a war to defend me and my country, to marry, to drink, to vote, to fight fires and become officers of the law, then they are old enough to be here. ( just examples of adult activities, please don't jump on them).

My preferences are set a little higher than the minimum age for joining here, as I don't meet many twentysomethings I have much in common with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is quite patronising to say you wouldnt go near them....

But im sure that is not exactly what she meant......

I meant exactly what I said, age is a huge issue for me

So, if younger guy comes near you just chatting for sake of it......you run off???

What i was saying, and you obviously never got it, was maybe saying you wouldnt play with younger instead of saying you wouldnt go near them wouldnt have sounded so patronising..

Gawd some people are touchy.....

Yea but perhaps in saying I wouldn't go near them I meant as in wouldn't play with them

And what did I say????

"Im sure thats not exactly what she meant"!!!!"

sorry not home and on phone, so many picked up the same comment lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to meet guys from 18 till I got contacted by a few of my son's mates. Now I've got it set to 25 and it will go up every year.

I loved the younger guys I just worried that one of these days it would turn out to be something that I'd feel bad about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess ill just pack in my account and come back in five years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can never understand the " We've got kids that age" attitude.

It's like saying you wouldn't fuck someone the same age as your brother or sister.

Bottom line is, they're not your kids, they're consenting adults on a sex site looking for the same fun as we all are.

If a young couple/person contacts you, rather than dismiss them because you don't share the same taste in music, or have the same cultural memories, give them a chance..........you might be pleasantly surprised.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's one of the few things the Monkey and I differ on in our swinging...I find I have very little in common with people very much younger than me and would prefer our lower age limit to reflect that and be exactly that...a limit-30 or so would be perfect but he of course has his fantasies about younger women and works with a lot of young lads so relates well to them...hence it's 25...i absolutely will not go below that as I just don't feel attracted to younger couples at all...and i don't have children so that isn't an issue...I'm just not interested in younger people as sexual partners...I fucked men in their 20's when I was in my 20's and don't wish to repeat the experience..."

Crumbs, this is almost verbatim how Lola tells it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Early 20's Its the same age as my kids! I just couldn't or wouldn't !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We can never understand the " We've got kids that age" attitude.

It's like saying you wouldn't fuck someone the same age as your brother or sister.

Bottom line is, they're not your kids, they're consenting adults on a sex site looking for the same fun as we all are.

XXXX"

Except they can't as the filters will block them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm 25 and have swung with people twice my age and loved it. Age is just a number. In 25 but in my short years I've lived abroad ...moved away in the uk...got a degree and started a business. So when people say "I'd have nothing to talk to a 25 year old about" think again were not all the same.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We can never understand the " We've got kids that age" attitude.

It's like saying you wouldn't fuck someone the same age as your brother or sister.

Bottom line is, they're not your kids, they're consenting adults on a sex site looking for the same fun as we all are.

XXXX

Except they can't as the filters will block them"

It's personal preference !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got I.d when on a meet with an older couple. The pub wouldn't serve me so I had to leave. The age gap felt slightly bigger after that...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ummmm 17 !?! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see couples from different age groups including couple in twenties it works well for all involved and we have become good friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only ever tried a younger guy once and it is not the same - both parties never have the same tastes or anything in common."

Depends on who you choose. Our first reg, the guy we started with, is a highly intelligent and articulate chap. He has maturity beyond mine and he's only 24 now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only ever tried a younger guy once and it is not the same - both parties never have the same tastes or anything in common.

Depends on who you choose. Our first reg, the guy we started with, is a highly intelligent and articulate chap. He has maturity beyond mine and he's only 24 now. "

Totally agree. For me it depends on the person. 40 year old men can be childish. 28 year old men can be wise and adult....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/03/13 23:12:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think a lot of young people on here get tarnished with the same brush in all fairness. "

does that go for the older ones as well, by younger people, i think in some cases it does

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