FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

guys when you join ....

Jump to newest
 

By *oxy j OP   Woman
40 weeks ago

taunton somerset

guys when you join .... do you not realize str8 away that numbers wise / percentages wise that this scene is very stacked against you ...

this is not a guy bashing thread im just trying to get my head around why some / most of you totally dont include the maths side of thing ie the percentages ... as a real reason for not getting anywhere rather than blame other things...

its like 300 guys turning up to play football but only 11 can play in a team so that alot of onlookers times that by 100s of thousands then that alot of guys getting nowhere through no fault of anyone ..

so guys im curious do you see those percentages / maths or do you not think of them ??

i only use fab for guys many dont but i realises that i very rarely meet guys from fab because most of the guys i play with have come from the club scene that me n hubs vist once a month or private selection parties or regular guys so that reduces the need for guys from here even more and im someone who plays alot weekly with regular and a few days a week at that yet my impact on men on fab for someone who plays alot in minimal so with so many more playing alot lot less i can see that the struggle for men on this scene is huge way way bigger than i ever thought ..

so guys do you see the numbers game or do you refuse to accept it and think its other things .... genuine question

if you dont see it as a numbers game then how do you see it ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *limeyoMan
40 weeks ago

Oswestry

It is partially a numbers thing, and yes women can pick and choose, but the number of ‘fake’ profiles is definitely increasing

By fake I mean men pretending to be women, or women who have no interest in meeting, just getting off that someone is interested

It’s amazing how many women I’ve spoken to who as soon as you ask to speak to on the phone or send an actual ‘real’ face pic through just disappear. This is couples too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago


"guys when you join .... do you not realize str8 away that numbers wise / percentages wise that this scene is very stacked against you ...

this is not a guy bashing thread im just trying to get my head around why some / most of you totally dont include the maths side of thing ie the percentages ... as a real reason for not getting anywhere rather than blame other things...

its like 300 guys turning up to play football but only 11 can play in a team so that alot of onlookers times that by 100s of thousands then that alot of guys getting nowhere through no fault of anyone ..

so guys im curious do you see those percentages / maths or do you not think of them ??

i only use fab for guys many dont but i realises that i very rarely meet guys from fab because most of the guys i play with have come from the club scene that me n hubs vist once a month or private selection parties or regular guys so that reduces the need for guys from here even more and im someone who plays alot weekly with regular and a few days a week at that yet my impact on men on fab for someone who plays alot in minimal so with so many more playing alot lot less i can see that the struggle for men on this scene is huge way way bigger than i ever thought ..

so guys do you see the numbers game or do you refuse to accept it and think its other things .... genuine question

if you dont see it as a numbers game then how do you see it ??

"

I see the numbers side to it but I like to use it to talk about the whole scene and also I like the cams and posts here they’re better than any porn site tbh

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxy j OP   Woman
40 weeks ago

taunton somerset


"It is partially a numbers thing, and yes women can pick and choose, but the number of ‘fake’ profiles is definitely increasing

By fake I mean men pretending to be women, or women who have no interest in meeting, just getting off that someone is interested

It’s amazing how many women I’ve spoken to who as soon as you ask to speak to on the phone or send an actual ‘real’ face pic through just disappear. This is couples too

"

most couples and women i know on this scene will never give out phone / email or use apps it dont mean they are fake ive never given my phone number out i done want a swinger phone niether no need for it if you do thing properly then every thing can be done via fab to find real meets ... and yes i understand this may be different for guys

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ealitybitesMan
40 weeks ago

Belfast

I've never cared about ratios or numbers here because I don't treat it as a competition.

It doesn't matter to me if there are 3 or 3 million other men on here because I won't be treating women any differently or giving them any more attention than an individual deserves.

I talk to people one to one and not as a collective so again it doesn't matter how many or how few women are here I still won't be kissing arse or blowing smoke.

I'm not competing with other men in my area, other men my age or with anyone else so numbers can be stacked any which way and I still wouldn't change my approach.

I haven't sent a first contact message in more than 4 years but still had many conversations in that time with women contacting me.

I'm never grateful that someone decides to get in touch or thankful for their attention.

I'm very fussy who I get naked with or have sex with and I don't have sex just for the sake of it so numbers don't factor into my thought process at all.

I don't lower my standards in the hope of jumping a queue.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *att71Man
40 weeks ago

Bristol

I have been around the site for a long time now and realise how much a numbers game it has become compared to what it was like back in the day so to speak.

I am here as have made friends and like the safety of being amongst people with the same reasons for being here (on the whole that is) and tend to spend more time in the forums now than anywhere else.

As a single male I understand the numbers thing, but am also glad I joined when it wasnt as bad and still have friends to speak to and meet if we want/need.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilver Fox 60Man
40 weeks ago

Southport

I'm well aware of the discrepancy in numbers. So I very rarely contact anyone on here as it would be too time consuming. Instead I just rely on the odd contact from Women/Couples.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxy j OP   Woman
40 weeks ago

taunton somerset

and just to say the man numbers have always been high but it was like 10 men to 1 woman unlike the now 100/200 men per woman..

joined fab in its first few week but was on other siyte as well that were the big sites before fab came alone men used to moan they had it hard then how they must now realise that was not so true even pre web sites when everything was done online via chat groups aol xcite yahoo and others but thinking back there were hardly any clubs a few online chats and contact mags but dogging here in the south west was the scene as such nearest club then was west midlands ..

i think the big difference back then was most men kept it to themselves today they seem to tell every man they know not realizing its killing the scene for men

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

I do just fine, numbers be damned.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arminsideMan
40 weeks ago

Barnsley


"guys when you join .... do you not realize str8 away that numbers wise / percentages wise that this scene is very stacked against you ...

this is not a guy bashing thread im just trying to get my head around why some / most of you totally dont include the maths side of thing ie the percentages ... as a real reason for not getting anywhere rather than blame other things...

its like 300 guys turning up to play football but only 11 can play in a team so that alot of onlookers times that by 100s of thousands then that alot of guys getting nowhere through no fault of anyone ..

so guys im curious do you see those percentages / maths or do you not think of them ??

i only use fab for guys many dont but i realises that i very rarely meet guys from fab because most of the guys i play with have come from the club scene that me n hubs vist once a month or private selection parties or regular guys so that reduces the need for guys from here even more and im someone who plays alot weekly with regular and a few days a week at that yet my impact on men on fab for someone who plays alot in minimal so with so many more playing alot lot less i can see that the struggle for men on this scene is huge way way bigger than i ever thought ..

so guys do you see the numbers game or do you refuse to accept it and think its other things .... genuine question

if you dont see it as a numbers game then how do you see it ??

"
Guess it's like the lottery some ones got to win lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isFabMan
40 weeks ago

Glasgow

Numbers wise/percentages don't enter my head, I don't see it as a competition

I've been on and off for a number of years now and very rarely will I message anyone first, I'll wink, I'll like some images and if they read my profile and are interested they will make contact.

For me it's about the right connection, if fun on fab is few and far between I'm comfortable with that, I have 'friends' out with fab I can have fun with if wanted and a select group of fab friends now for the same ...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andyh78Man
40 weeks ago

manchester

Well you either get meets or don’t. So it’s 50/50 isn’t it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxy j OP   Woman
40 weeks ago

taunton somerset

how is it ever 50/50 lol if you have 100 men and one woman ?? and add in the fact she may not fancy anyone out of that 100 ?? thats not 50/50

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orflondonerMan
40 weeks ago

Wood Green

I had been attending clubs for several years before i joined here,so knew the odds were stacked against us.Still enjoy it though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oiluvfunMan
40 weeks ago

Penrith

I've been using Fab for around 11 years now, and the male:female ratio has always been 'challenging'. I don't let it put me off though, I'm just very selective about who I contact, as in; I read every word of every profile which garners my interest, and only message if there's a genuine potential for a match. It's not difficult really.....

As for visiting clubs as a solo guy? I've been to several, and would never recommend the clubs to a mate as a way to meet women. They really are just like Fab condensed in to one building for the evening, and overall; solo males are tolerated for the 'Penis Pound', rather than encouraged for the scene as a whole...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

I think it’s a little more complex than that.

First of all, there’s attraction (both ways), and that instantly filters everything right down. Then there’s personality/attitude. Location. Chemistry. Timing.

There’s a lot of determining factors that level the playing field a bit.

I’m sure there are some men who message anyone. I’m not one of those people who do that. I’m also not putting anyone on a pedestal or over analysing every interaction.

As a result I reckon I get just as many messages as some women - so it’s a distorted view to say that it’s a numbers game for men. It’s more complex than that.

Some men do okay, some don’t. Some women do ok. Some don’t. Some people are happy finding just one person to meet. Some want to find dozens.

This site can provide something for everyone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

I personally understand it’s very much a numbers game but I also feel that it’s very dependent, regardless of numbers, whether whomever your talking to, or trying to, likes what they see in you from your profile

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago


"and just to say the man numbers have always been high but it was like 10 men to 1 woman unlike the now 100/200 men per woman..

"

I get that there are obviously more men than women but where are you getting those ratios from?

Do you have access to member numbers or is it just guesswork?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *empest2KMan
40 weeks ago

Derby


"I've been using Fab for around 11 years now, and the male:female ratio has always been 'challenging'. I don't let it put me off though, I'm just very selective about who I contact, as in; I read every word of every profile which garners my interest, and only message if there's a genuine potential for a match. It's not difficult really.....

As for visiting clubs as a solo guy? I've been to several, and would never recommend the clubs to a mate as a way to meet women. They really are just like Fab condensed in to one building for the evening, and overall; solo males are tolerated for the 'Penis Pound', rather than encouraged for the scene as a whole... "

It sure is challenging, but I don't think the numbers have put me off. If anything, it's just taught me that I need to be more selective, and that patience is a virtue.

Regarding clubs, they've been a great way for me to network and meet people. Sometimes, you have to get yourself known/recognised, hence why I like wearing distinctive outfits, as it plants a seed in people's memories and you're more likely to meet others because of it.

I think the challenge isn't the numbers game, but more how you approach it. As long as you're polite and respectful, and leave a good lasting memory for those you meet, doors will usually open eventually, like they have for me in the last couple of years

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
40 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

The ratios seemed pretty similar when I joined in 2008.

The numbers have never worried me. What others do and are here for doesn't affect how I use the site at all and never will.

There have always been more men. Likewise there's always been those that just think by joining it'll be easy to get meets, that little effort in profiles, photos and messages doesn't matter and that just by having a profile they'll boost their chances of finding someone for sex.

Some learn quickly, others keep using the same approach that doesn't work and some learn, change and adapt.

The site doesn't change. The people on it sometimes do. The ratios will always be what they are.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evil Dick84Man
40 weeks ago

Newport


"I've never cared about ratios or numbers here because I don't treat it as a competition.

It doesn't matter to me if there are 3 or 3 million other men on here because I won't be treating women any differently or giving them any more attention than an individual deserves.

I talk to people one to one and not as a collective so again it doesn't matter how many or how few women are here I still won't be kissing arse or blowing smoke.

I'm not competing with other men in my area, other men my age or with anyone else so numbers can be stacked any which way and I still wouldn't change my approach.

I haven't sent a first contact message in more than 4 years but still had many conversations in that time with women contacting me.

I'm never grateful that someone decides to get in touch or thankful for their attention.

I'm very fussy who I get naked with or have sex with and I don't have sex just for the sake of it so numbers don't factor into my thought process at all.

I don't lower my standards in the hope of jumping a queue. "

You have literally took the words right out of my mouth. Well said Mate.

I'm confident enough to approach women in the "real world" and have no difficulty attracting/speaking to women from all walks of life.

I rarely send messages here for the simple fact of not wanting to get lost in the 100s of messages women recieve.

What I do find funny is when women/couples send a friends request or a one line message as if I'm expected to be happy...

no thanks, I usually wait for them to go offline accept the request, fab one of their blurry creampie pics or hubbys shrivelled cock pic, then block them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

I don't really care. If I meet, I meet, if not, its ok. My time is precious and I only want to meet someone I really connect with. I feel that things happen as they should so don't stress. I dip in and out and just browse mostly anyway.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecadent_DevonMan
40 weeks ago

Okehampton

I see it as a hobby or pastime. In that I come and dabble on here as the mood takes me, as I have got older meets are few and far between but I think that’s understandable, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea afterall.

I think there’s an awful lot more choice on here now and to be honest I can’t be miffed at that, choice is good, especially if you get chosen

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oiluvfunMan
40 weeks ago

Penrith


"I've been using Fab for around 11 years now, and the male:female ratio has always been 'challenging'. I don't let it put me off though, I'm just very selective about who I contact, as in; I read every word of every profile which garners my interest, and only message if there's a genuine potential for a match. It's not difficult really.....

As for visiting clubs as a solo guy? I've been to several, and would never recommend the clubs to a mate as a way to meet women. They really are just like Fab condensed in to one building for the evening, and overall; solo males are tolerated for the 'Penis Pound', rather than encouraged for the scene as a whole...

It sure is challenging, but I don't think the numbers have put me off. If anything, it's just taught me that I need to be more selective, and that patience is a virtue.

Regarding clubs, they've been a great way for me to network and meet people. Sometimes, you have to get yourself known/recognised, hence why I like wearing distinctive outfits, as it plants a seed in people's memories and you're more likely to meet others because of it.

I think the challenge isn't the numbers game, but more how you approach it. As long as you're polite and respectful, and leave a good lasting memory for those you meet, doors will usually open eventually, like they have for me in the last couple of years "

Ahh yes! I did visit Atlantis once. Not the busiest of nights lol…

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andyh78Man
40 weeks ago

manchester


"how is it ever 50/50 lol if you have 100 men and one woman ?? and add in the fact she may not fancy anyone out of that 100 ?? thats not 50/50 "

It is a maths joke. A crap one I know, but I like it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornihorniMan
40 weeks ago

colchester

Nothing better than winning the lotto lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urge72Man
40 weeks ago

oxfordshire & Hull

So yes, if you look at the numbers the odds may seem stacked against us. However, there are other factors; what are your interests, what is your size, are you bi or straight, where do you live? That is even before you get to how you approach prospective couples/ladies, how your profile reads, whether you have a profile pic, do you have any public pics (are they all dick pics) and then of course do you have any verifications?

I think it is fair to say all of us (singles and couples) are here for different reasons, and not all of them are to meet. Personally I love the forums and social events. I've also made some great friends on here and enjoy exchanging messages. Yes there are fakers; guys purporting to be woman or couples, dreamers who drop you like a stone once you discuss dates for a meet (social or otherwise) and then there are those posting pics from the web. However, it is still a great place to meet people; virtually at first and then for real, and I for one have no regrets.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *agusMan
40 weeks ago

Near by

Odds? I also play the lottery and 1 day I will beat those odds

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ysonfuryMan
40 weeks ago

Stockport

The numbers can be daunting at first. You really notice it when you use the who is near function. If you filter you only see what you are looking for so can end up forgetting the ratios. That being said I find it you are yourself, polite etc there are plenty of great couples and single ladies happy to meet us single guys happy fabbing everyone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

Men are hugely outnumbered, no big deal, lay out your stall, send the odd message, see if you get any interest. Enjoy the process!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emptme1993Man
40 weeks ago

manchester

In my head that’s the only reason I’ve not been that successful purely the numbers, not that my profile might not be everyone’s taste or god forbid I’m not everyone’s taste

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickdasterdly51Man
40 weeks ago

Lingfield

Very much so but for me it's about finding a community of people who enjoy sex as much as I do. If nothing comes of it then nothing lost.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
40 weeks ago

Worcester

I just ran the numbers in a few different areas and it’s more like seven men joining for every one woman.

So probably not actually a ratio of hundreds of men to one woman.

Which means the guys who can’t get replies at all probably are doing something unappealing in their first messages.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *empest2KMan
40 weeks ago

Derby


"I've been using Fab for around 11 years now, and the male:female ratio has always been 'challenging'. I don't let it put me off though, I'm just very selective about who I contact, as in; I read every word of every profile which garners my interest, and only message if there's a genuine potential for a match. It's not difficult really.....

As for visiting clubs as a solo guy? I've been to several, and would never recommend the clubs to a mate as a way to meet women. They really are just like Fab condensed in to one building for the evening, and overall; solo males are tolerated for the 'Penis Pound', rather than encouraged for the scene as a whole...

It sure is challenging, but I don't think the numbers have put me off. If anything, it's just taught me that I need to be more selective, and that patience is a virtue.

Regarding clubs, they've been a great way for me to network and meet people. Sometimes, you have to get yourself known/recognised, hence why I like wearing distinctive outfits, as it plants a seed in people's memories and you're more likely to meet others because of it.

I think the challenge isn't the numbers game, but more how you approach it. As long as you're polite and respectful, and leave a good lasting memory for those you meet, doors will usually open eventually, like they have for me in the last couple of years

Ahh yes! I did visit Atlantis once. Not the busiest of nights lol…"

Yeah, it can be a bit hit and miss depending on the club and which night you go, so your mileage may vary

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *AABMan
40 weeks ago

Not far

Where else do you expect men to go OP? 99% of sex sites are scams populated almost exclusively by chatbots created by the site. If you recommend we go somewhere else OP perhaps you have some suggestions.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
40 weeks ago

Worcester


"I just ran the numbers in a few different areas and it’s more like seven men joining for every one woman.

So probably not actually a ratio of hundreds of men to one woman.

Which means the guys who can’t get replies at all probably are doing something unappealing in their first messages."

My “who is near” search is:

43 men

13 mf couples

6 tv/ts

6 women

Also not anywhere near hundreds of men to one woman.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
40 weeks ago

chichester


"It is partially a numbers thing, and yes women can pick and choose, but the number of ‘fake’ profiles is definitely increasing

By fake I mean men pretending to be women, or women who have no interest in meeting, just getting off that someone is interested

It’s amazing how many women I’ve spoken to who as soon as you ask to speak to on the phone or send an actual ‘real’ face pic through just disappear. This is couples too

"

Yes agreed I reckon it’s around 70% of my messages from females / couples all turn out to be mehhhh

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tylebender03Man
40 weeks ago

Manchester

Never tell me the odds..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxy j OP   Woman
40 weeks ago

taunton somerset

the whos near works on who logged in and recently logged in its not a true % same with search and same with home page same with whos looked.... its not me that says 100 to one there quite a few who put it roughly at that figure ... guess work yes ... if anyone thinks its 7 to 1 then wow id be shocked for one and it dont say much for the guys who cant get meets if its that low ...

but yes 100 to 1 is not facts but its whats been guess to be around for some while

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
40 weeks ago

Worcester


"the whos near works on who logged in and recently logged in its not a true % same with search and same with home page same with whos looked.... its not me that says 100 to one there quite a few who put it roughly at that figure ... guess work yes ... if anyone thinks its 7 to 1 then wow id be shocked for one and it dont say much for the guys who cant get meets if its that low ...

but yes 100 to 1 is not facts but its whats been guess to be around for some while"

“Who’s near” is a good indicator of who is actually active though. And it’s active numbers that actually matter.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxy j OP   Woman
40 weeks ago

taunton somerset


"I just ran the numbers in a few different areas and it’s more like seven men joining for every one woman.

So probably not actually a ratio of hundreds of men to one woman.

Which means the guys who can’t get replies at all probably are doing something unappealing in their first messages.

My “who is near” search is:

43 men

13 mf couples

6 tv/ts

6 women

Also not anywhere near hundreds of men to one woman.

"

who said anything about local ?? 100 to 1 is the site in general

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *omKsubSMan
40 weeks ago

Newton

Its not so much about the numbers as it is about what you are looking for and what you offer.

While there are a bunch who offer parts of what I do, not many do it all... and besides, i'm just as happy to chat.

While I had meets from here, some of them very good meets, the vast majority are from other sites or 'friend of a friend' personal referrals.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top