FabSwingers.com forum: Being stood up!!!!

By *aleModel90 OP Man
41 weeks ago

Leeds/London

Hi there! I wanted to share my experience with this platform. Unfortunately, I have been stood up by my potential meets three times already, and it's only been six weeks since I joined. I was wondering if anyone else using this platform has experienced something similar?

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By *aizyWoman
41 weeks ago

west midlands

Sorry thats happened to you OP, sadly it happens, there are a lot of threads about it so you are not alone.

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By *ackandJill1Couple
41 weeks ago

Leeds

Unfortunately it happens, we're all just words on a screen to some. You'll get the hang of ing the non serious ones out as time goes on, it's a journey we've all travelled.

Good luck O.P.

Jill

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By *ackandJill1Couple
41 weeks ago

Leeds

Weeding out*

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By *ickD80Man
41 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

That’s why the site has a verification system OP, so that people know who’s genuine and who’s a time waster. If someone has verifications from previous meets then you know they’re genuine and they turn up to meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

Welcome to fab. … or any other sites where people can hook up or meet up.

I think it’s becoming the norm, I had it when I first joined, and it sucks.

Just look for the signs, they’re there.

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By *rHotNottsMan
41 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Not my experience, in 10 years only stood up once, I guess you are not choosing wisely, maybe you’re in too much of a rush and thinking with your cock ?

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By *ames-77Man
41 weeks ago

milton keynes

Is the opposite of being sat down

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By *armandwet50Couple
41 weeks ago

Far far away

"Not my experience, in 10 years only stood up once, I guess you are not choosing wisely, maybe you’re in too much of a rush and thinking with your cock ? "

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

Unfortunately it does happen the 80/20 rule applies, 80% on here great nd then you've got 20% not so great,

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By *risis_rocMan
41 weeks ago

Essex/London/Kent

Bro imagine being sent to the wrong address and knocking on some random persons door at 2 am!!!

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By *ubcdverykinkyMan
41 weeks ago

Bourne lincs

Happens all the time. People can do the talk but not the walk. It's easy sending messages.

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By *ickD80Man
41 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"Not my experience, in 10 years only stood up once, I guess you are not choosing wisely, maybe you’re in too much of a rush and thinking with your cock ? "

So you’re saying that it’s OP’s fault that he got stood up? You’re saying that he should have known that the people he arranged to meet weren’t going to turn up? I think that’s what they call victim blaming.

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By *rHotNottsMan
41 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Not my experience, in 10 years only stood up once, I guess you are not choosing wisely, maybe you’re in too much of a rush and thinking with your cock ?

They are your words not mine.

If you are unsure what I said just read the message again it’s not difficult

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By *rHotNottsMan
41 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Not my experience, in 10 years only stood up once, I guess you are not choosing wisely, maybe you’re in too much of a rush and thinking with your cock ?

Victim blaming Requires that there be a victim of something like assault , abuse etc. I know in 2020 for some people think it’s your God given right to be a victim of something but honestly being stood up on a date doesn’t make you a victim, It’s unfortunate at worst

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By *TG3Man
41 weeks ago

Dorchester

"Hi there! I wanted to share my experience with this platform. Unfortunately, I have been stood up by my potential meets three times already, and it's only been six weeks since I joined. I was wondering if anyone else using this platform has experienced something similar?"
I haven’t been stood up for years and even then they rang me to apologise, maybe its the people you are choosing to meet?

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By *andadbodMan
41 weeks ago

Liverpool

oddly that’s never happened to me…… yet, but i’m very careful when I arrange to meet and make sure we both tick each others boxes before meeting up socially.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
41 weeks ago

Leeds

I guess we've been lucky it's never happened to us, we always check verifications and chat for a while before meeting.

Hopefully you don't get stood up anymore OP.

Mrs

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By *ellhungvweMan
41 weeks ago

Cheltenham

In my experience it is very rare. If it is a regular thing OP then I would strongly suggest that the way you are ensuring someone is actually who they say they are is way off.

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

"Not my experience, in 10 years only stood up once, I guess you are not choosing wisely, maybe you’re in too much of a rush and thinking with your cock ?

I don’t think that’s what you were saying.

Back in the day when it happened to me, I was all dressed up and ready to go, but I checked before I left the house and that’s when the signs happened.

Now I look for those signs very early on. And if it does happen, and I let myself get to a point of being stood up, I just remember myself that time.

Is everything that happens should teach you something new?

My best advice to the OP? If something doesn’t feel right, nothing is. Somebody should feel easy.

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
41 weeks ago

Worcester

You’ve just got to get better at screening.

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

"That’s why the site has a verification system OP, so that people know who’s genuine and who’s a time waster. If someone has verifications from previous meets then you know they’re genuine and they turn up to meets. "

9 hours ago you wrote how the verification system is crap?!

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By *rpeggioCouple
41 weeks ago

Baughurst

9 hours ago you wrote how the verification system is crap?! "

You were not the only one noticing that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
41 weeks ago

East Sussex

Sorry to hear you've been stood up three times it must be very frustrating.

What's communication like before the meet, do you confirm with each other on the day?

There are things you can do to mitigate this but there will always be people who'll mess you around. What do you do to try and establish that they genuinely want to meet?

Better luck next time.

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By *ou only live onceMan
41 weeks ago

London

Sorry to hear that, OP.

I've not been stood up on the actual day, but have been blocked/they've left the site a couple of times in that period between agreeing a meet and the actual meet, so I guess a virtual standing up! Been here a few years though so only a couple of annoyances in that time not so bad, imho.

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By *irthandgirthMan
41 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

If you feel that strongly you can report the profile. There is an option for 'arranged meet, did not show up'

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By *ornycougaWoman
41 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"Not my experience, in 10 years only stood up once, I guess you are not choosing wisely, maybe you’re in too much of a rush and thinking with your cock ? "

I think this is judgy and rude. Most of us have been stood up. In my case the impromptu meets when I have been horny and on the hunt have showed up. The ones (happened twice I think) that have stood me up I have been chatting to for a while and it was a genuine surprise to be left in the lurch

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

You are learning that there are many fantasists on fab, and many men using couple /female profiles for wank fodder unfortunately.

How are you screening before arranging the meet ? An easy way would be to move the chat to telegram and then do a live telephone /video call so at least you can see who you are talking (you can hide your number in the privacy settings) and then building the connection that way.

Also general tip is that women tend to be less sexual in their chat than men

There are many genuine people on fab, but i imagine with what you've said in your profile that you have a lot of attractive /hot photos that people can't wait to get their hands on for their next wank

Perhaps consider going to clubs /socials as a way to meet real people and start making connections - the Manchester Lounge Social is on 23 March, that would be easy for you looking at your location

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

Welcome to Fab. You'll learn to screen them with time.

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

But why male models? Sorry OP, had to get that out my system

I've luckily never been stood up and the meets I've had cancel have generally let me know on the day or before. But I generally chat quite a bit with them before plucking up the courage to ask them to meet so maybe taking a bit more time chatting to them and really knowing them may help?

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By *dinburghWomanWoman
41 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"Unfortunately it does happen the 80/20 rule applies, 80% on here great nd then you've got 20% not so great, "

I would say the other way around

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
41 weeks ago

London or Bedford

I haven’t been stood-up.

But I once had someone cancel on me while I was on the train to meet them.

That sucked

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
41 weeks ago

Essex

I’ve been stood up.

You do get better at filtering. It sucks at the time for sure xx

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By *archelCouple
41 weeks ago

A field somewhere

This site is full of flakes and messers, the only genuine people we know from here are the ones we've met at organised socials and clubs. For a swingers site there's not many genuine swingers here.

You'd be better off going to organised socials and clubs to make connections and a network of like minded genuine friends.

We stopped doing out of club/socials for the exact same issues as you're having.

Mrs

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By *erkshire8299Man
41 weeks ago

slough

Sadly it only becomes a meet , when you actually meet...many times it starts to look good with messages etc...then nothing...it's just part of Fab S...

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By *entleman JayMan
41 weeks ago

Wakefield

"Bro imagine being sent to the wrong address and knocking on some random persons door at 2 am!!!"

This is not uncommon.

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By *entleman JayMan
41 weeks ago

Wakefield

I learnt a long time ago. I only get exited when their car pulls up outside my house.

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By *adyBugsWoman
41 weeks ago

cognito

People flake. For all sorts of reasons. It’s a reflection on them, not for you to take it personally.

If I’m meeting someone, always social first so I can tell myself I’m enjoying a solo date with a drink and a book so if they actually turn up, it’s a bonus and I’m not disappointed if they don’t.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
41 weeks ago

Central

Read through similar posts for tips on how to reduce the potential of this.

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By *TG3Man
41 weeks ago

Dorchester

"You are learning that there are many fantasists on fab, and many men using couple /female profiles for wank fodder unfortunately.

Also general tip is that women tend to be less sexual in their chat than men

Perhaps consider going to clubs /socials as a way to meet real people and start making connections - the Manchester Lounge Social is on 23 March, that would be easy for you looking at your location "
The live chat wouldn't be something i would be interested in doing plus i don't use telegram so does that make me unreliable, i don't think so. Its all about how you chat, how genuine you come across and how long you chatted before you organised a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

"Bro imagine being sent to the wrong address and knocking on some random persons door at 2 am!!!

This is not uncommon. "

Haha. I knocked on the wrong door once., it was totally my fault, they watched me in the window across the road

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By *ornucopiaMan
41 weeks ago

Bexley

[Removed by poster at 10/03/24 13:08:04]

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By *ornucopiaMan
41 weeks ago

Bexley

"Bro imagine being sent to the wrong address and knocking on some random persons door at 2 am!!!

This is not uncommon.

Did that once at a naked bed and breakfast location. It was a shared street entrance and split level.

Before I even said anything, the attractive woman who answered my knock, said "You'll be wanting downstairs".

Now, let's see who else has stayed there!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

Were you sure they were actually real too? I would not meet without talking on live camera or them having multiple legitimate looking veris. They could have been fake profiles some of them. Not nice being messed around though, we all had it at some point

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By *apiomanMan
41 weeks ago

Shipley

It is rubbish being stood up, especially when our expectations and hormones are high! It hasn't happened to me on Fab, (although not many meetings) but has on Tinder, Bumble etc etc.

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By *ex HolesMan
41 weeks ago

Up North

Don’t know as I’ve never been stood up

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By *aleModel90 OP Man
41 weeks ago

Leeds/London

"Bro imagine being sent to the wrong address and knocking on some random persons door at 2 am!!!"

Holy crap!!!!! That’s scary

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By *istr3ssWoman
41 weeks ago

Stockton-on-Tees

I believe a lot of them on here can talk the talk, but when it comes to the actual meet, they get scared (for whatever reason).

In all the time I've been on here, I've only managed 4 meets that have actually turned up.

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By *ad NannaWoman
41 weeks ago

East London

Fuck ugly people, they won't let you down

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By *heGateKeeperMan
41 weeks ago

Stratford

I wouldn’t stand you up bro

But Nanna would beat me up, so she gets first dibs

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
41 weeks ago

Southampton

"Fuck ugly people, they won't let you down

Oh so THAT'S why I've had so many meets !

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

I've never been stood up but I imagine it's very frustrating. 3 times in just a few weeks seems sn awful lot so I would maybe look at how you're going about it on here, eg are you chatting to get to know people a little 1st, are you going for well verified people. Look at your method for meeting people. Good luck in your next arrangements.

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By *rill PhilMan
41 weeks ago

Crediton

Even if they stood you up, I'm impressed you got three people to agree to meets within three weeks of being on here.

I've been on and off this site for 13ish years and in that time I think I've had 3 people agree to meet and I've been stood up each time.

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By *ad NannaWoman
41 weeks ago

East London

"Fuck ugly people, they won't let you down

Oh so THAT'S why I've had so many meets !

Suits me. I get all the handsome men

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
41 weeks ago

Southampton

"Fuck ugly people, they won't let you down

Oh so THAT'S why I've had so many meets !

Suits me. I get all the handsome men

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

I’m curious what you are doing as your screening before agreeing a meet? If any?

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By *oxy jWoman
41 weeks ago

taunton somerset

if you keep getting let down then you need to look at your selection process .. you being a guy will be targeted by fake profiles run by guys who just love messing around and dont get me wrong there are women and couples who do this too as a laught ...

if its too easy then its more than likly not going to happen ..sex / porn chat 99% fake you cant rely on veries as so many are selg given or given by others who think they are helpping when they clearly are not and cam veries biggest joke on fab ...

sadly with you being a guy and being one of many ie most of the site then this is going to be a very challenging site/scene for you its a mine field if your a guy ... simple maths will tell you most men wont and dont get anywhere on this scene unless you put the extra work in like clubs n socials and they are not for everyone

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By *ickD80Man
41 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

9 hours ago you wrote how the verification system is crap?!

You were not the only one noticing that."

I was being sarcastic, thanks for noticing.

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By *yeSureMan
41 weeks ago

Glasgow

I’m afraid it comes with the territory. I’m not saying that it’s right though. But c’est la vie

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

I have been so lucky so far it hasnt happened to me yet but im sure it will . Im dreading it

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