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spicing up a vanilla

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By *essex1 OP   Man
over a year ago

Falmouth

Hi,

So i have a problem. My fb is a vanilla and loves her missionary but I want to be a bit more adventurous.

Her personality is quite dominant but I want to be in control and push her (our) boundaries a bit more in the bedroom. There are times when I just want to strip her and tie her up and slap her then fuck her whilst she's still tied. and force things on her like sucking me when shes tied and making her touch me.

She's not a fan of being tied but I love it and seeing her helpless.

Any help/_iews would be appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about what she wants?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

'her' boundaries are more important than 'our' boundaries, respect them.

when she is ready to flex them, she will

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about what she wants?"

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By *essex1 OP   Man
over a year ago

Falmouth

when we've talked shes said she wants me to be in control more with sex but when we do it she's not too willing to let go a bit and I think she holds back.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

and spicing up a vanilla smacks of 'swinger' arrogance in my opinion

like we are superior sexual beings.

no offence

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By *essex1 OP   Man
over a year ago

Falmouth

obviously I respect her boundaries, if I didn't respect her or her boundaries there wouldnt be an issue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask her what her fantasies are

Then take it nice and slow - jumping in at the deep end with things she's not comfortable with will put her off

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

She wants you to be more in control and you come up with.....Tie her up, slap her and make her do things to you!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"and spicing up a vanilla smacks of 'swinger' arrogance in my opinion

like we are superior sexual beings.

no offence"

I thought it was quite patronizing towards the vanilla fb imho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Respect is key!!

I've seen a lot of disrespectful things recently - forum comments, status updates, comments to women in chat rooms, people taking photos of their screens when in chat.

Anything should be a joint decision - not the wants of one party!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"and spicing up a vanilla smacks of 'swinger' arrogance in my opinion

like we are superior sexual beings.

no offence

I thought it was quite patronizing towards the vanilla fb imho"

Have you thought maybe she fancies taking the lead because she wants to feel more confident sexually and at the moment, she can't because she hasn't got the confidence?

crystal

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

let her tie you up and cowgirl you

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hi,

So i have a problem. My fb is a vanilla and loves her missionary but I want to be a bit more adventurous.

Her personality is quite dominant but I want to be in control and push her (our) boundaries a bit more in the bedroom. There are times when I just want to strip her and tie her up and slap her then fuck her whilst she's still tied. and force things on her like sucking me when shes tied and making her touch me.

She's not a fan of being tied but I love it and seeing her helpless.

Any help/_iews would be appreciated. "

You do indeed have a problem but you'll have an even bigger one if you tie a woman up who isn't a fan of it. You have backtracked on this post in subsequent ones but I would suggest that you need to look very carefully at your attitude to "vanilla" and your attitude to your fb. This post is all about "I" I have a problem, I want, I love...a sexual relationship involves two or more people!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took me ages to trust and respect my husband in the kinks we have/do and visa versa!.Don't run before you can walk!

Don't pressure her talk to her ask her what fantasies/wants she has and maybe you'll get there! Listening and respect in the key to any relationships vanilla or not. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/03/13 08:15:05]

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By *essex1 OP   Man
over a year ago

Falmouth


"Took me ages to trust and respect my husband in the kinks we have/do and visa versa!.Don't run before you can walk!

Don't pressure her talk to her ask her what fantasies/wants she has and maybe you'll get there! Listening and respect in the key to any relationships vanilla or not. Good luck. "

Thanks we're having fun talking about it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pushing boundaries is all about trust. If you are pushy you'll lose any trust you have. As a single lady, I'd never play without trusting someone. And the level to which I push my own boundaries varys greatly, depending on who I'm playing with and how much I trust them . sounds like you're talking way too much, if it's something she really does want. But you have to respect her for what she is, if not move on?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about what she wants?"

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