FabSwingers.com forum: Saying no

By *ull_circle OP Woman
over a year ago

Brighton

I've had a couple of messages recently with photos attached. I'm not interested so I've not responded. I've then had a follow up message shouting at me(via message) for not responding with a "polite no thankyou". What's people's thoughts on this?

I'd rather just receive nothing in return rather than a direct no. Surely that's better at saving somebody's feelings than a direct no.

Obviously it's really rude to send a shouty message- the irony isn't lost on me, but are we are really expected to say no to everybody?!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

It's rude to not reply.

Why are you wasting my time replying if you're not interested.

There's no winning

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

[Removed by poster at 05/02/24 16:23:36]

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By *andPextraCouple
over a year ago

North West

If we can read the message without opening it- we tend not to reply, nor to obvious cut and paste.

If its bespoke to us, we say no and wish them well.

We would like and expect the same.

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

We never replied and the guy said were arseholes lol

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By *unessexcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Essex

"I've had a couple of messages recently with photos attached. I'm not interested so I've not responded. I've then had a follow up message shouting at me(via message) for not responding with a "polite no thankyou". What's people's thoughts on this?

I'd rather just receive nothing in return rather than a direct no. Surely that's better at saving somebody's feelings than a direct no.

Obviously it's really rude to send a shouty message- the irony isn't lost on me, but are we are really expected to say no to everybody?! "

We prefer a simple not for us

As some do read messages then nothing whilst others wait for a reply

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By *ootyfruityCouple
over a year ago

andover

We tend to send a reply if it’s a nice message and have shown they’ve read our profile.

But if they haven’t read our profile then why waste the time

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By *dventurous fellaMan
over a year ago

where

I'd rather just receive nothing in return rather than a direct no. Surely that's better at saving somebody's feelings than a direct no.

Obviously it's really rude to send a shouty message- the irony isn't lost on me, but are we are really expected to say no to everybody?! "

People are hard work here it’s frustrating on both ends me perhaps a line in the profile saying if there’s no reply take it as a no thanks could be helpful ? Just an idea

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By *ull_circle OP Woman
over a year ago

Brighton

I hadn't asked for photos, I'm talking about a first message with pics attached. It wasn't like I'd even asked for a face pic to be shared!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I've found it fairly natural to follow my heart here. I'll reply to many but my time and energy are limited, so it may or may not meet expectations. If totally sure it's a no, it's best to block as soon as you know. It's quick and clear, preventing any abuse too.

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By *SCouple81Couple
over a year ago

Between Edinburgh and Scottish Borders

We would usually reply even if it is no, thank you and would expect the same. Good manners cost nothing

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

Ive not replied if the message was obviously an attempt to try and change the fact I am looking for certain types, couples and women only. Males seeking taboo.

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By *ighland couple 99Couple
over a year ago

Inverness

We get this all the time, usually single guys that want to meet “NOW”

Then they will message again in a few days as if nothing happened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/02/24 16:42:07]

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By *annylickerMan
over a year ago

Chester-le-Street

I'd rather just receive nothing in return rather than a direct no. Surely that's better at saving somebody's feelings than a direct no.

Obviously it's really rude to send a shouty message- the irony isn't lost on me, but are we are really expected to say no to everybody?! "

Personally think a polite reply goes a long way, manners cost nothing plus I got blocked twice today without a response

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

i always try to reply apart from those who clearly have not read my profile or those who send a porn script any oh why nots or abuse instantly blocked ....

i pre block so i tend not to get to much abusive reply's anymore my block list is massive and i dont lose any sleep over not replying if i miss a few as nobody owes anybody anything on here ... if i had to reply to all id have no time to seek guys for fun

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By *hare2CareCouple
over a year ago

Shepshed

If it's obvious they've actually read our profile then we'll reply. If it's obvious they haven't (out of stated age range, looking to play tonight and so on) then we won't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they have read the profile we will at least reply and say no. If they get abusive about it then that lets us know they need blocking too.

If people delete our messages unread we aint that fussed, Their loss at the end of the day.

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By *olfandtazCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

If our profile has been read and it's a polite enough message we do respond, even if it's thanks but not for us.

Thankfully we have dodged rude messages back but if we did get any then it's simple enough to block someone and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone has messaged me and they aren't for me/what I'm looking for, I'll respond and say so, so there is clarity either side of the conversation. I don't really enjoy being in the dark with things so to speak, although I understand some profiles get lots of messages and so it's easier to not respond to all of them that are not what they're after.

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By *enatton2Couple
over a year ago

West Midlands

We reply politely to those who’ve made a decent effort at intruding themselves. Those who don’t try or send cock pics get deleted without reply.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I used to do the polite no thank you, it ends up with "why" or just a load of abuse so now I don't bother.

Occasionally if it's a really well written message and they've clearly read the profile I'll make the effort to respond but 9 times out of 10 I ignore them.

No reply = no thank you.

Mrs

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By *erry bull1Man
over a year ago

doncaster

If it’s a polite message then I will respond but crude and abrupt messages get ignored

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By *histlerMan
over a year ago

Guildford

I’m smart enough to know I hold no cards in these situations so you have to respect either the no reply or the no thankyou’s (these are very rare).

With a no reply how long until you give up hope that they’ve read your message but haven’t got time te reply immediately?

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By *ossman0168Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

I’m always polite in answering a message off anyone, if I send any I would prefer if it was deleted and they blocked me straight away then there is no confusion

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

I usually reply with thanks but no and if they are bothered by that then ots no one else's feelings but there's simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer a no than being ignored

That being said when we are told no I think “damn this really is our loss - gorgeous and a lovely person”. When we are ignored I am feel better because that way I know they are a bit of a rude person and in the end not our type and we feel no loss!”

So meh I don’t know

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By *andd_bicoupleCouple
over a year ago

wilmslow

I'd rather just receive nothing in return rather than a direct no. Surely that's better at saving somebody's feelings than a direct no.

Obviously it's really rude to send a shouty message- the irony isn't lost on me, but are we are really expected to say no to everybody?! "
say no thanks

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By *unlovin72Man
over a year ago

BARNSLEY

I'd rather just receive nothing in return rather than a direct no. Surely that's better at saving somebody's feelings than a direct no.

Obviously it's really rude to send a shouty message- the irony isn't lost on me, but are we are really expected to say no to everybody?! "

If I have no reply and then message has been looked at I take that as a no but if anyone replies to me with a no I wish them all the best and leave it at that

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By *afkaMan
over a year ago

Nottingham (ish)

I'd rather just receive nothing in return rather than a direct no. Surely that's better at saving somebody's feelings than a direct no. "

I think a simple "No thank you"

Or "Sorry, not for me" is a better way to save somebody's feelings than no reply at all - the sender doesn't know if their message might have just got lost in the avalanche of messages you receive, a simple No lets them know where they stand and prevents further unwanted messages

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By *hare2CareCouple
over a year ago

Shepshed

As if by magic, we've just said no because he was outside the age range it says on our profile, and got told that was "stupid" and we're "idiots" and then blocked us.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

I'd rather just receive nothing in return rather than a direct no. Surely that's better at saving somebody's feelings than a direct no.

I think a simple "No thank you"

It doesn't prevent further messages unfortunately. It just increases the chances of someone getting an abusive message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one is owed a response... But I think most people would like one.

Having seen the reactions from some men to polite rejections...it's understandable why some women choose not to engage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try to reply with a polite no unless like on occasion they have continued to try and engage at which point they get blocked. This isn't just limited to single guys, most of the time it's been couples.

If we send a message and don't get a reply but see it's been opened we assume it's a no or they have other priorities at that time than to reply to us. If it's then deleted then that speaks for itself and no harm done.

If you don't get a reply there is no point getting your back up over it and sending shitty messages or asking why it's a no.

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
over a year ago

Stoke

So on a site where the rules state that no reply means no thanks, it's then rude to not reply and say no thanks!!

Huh!!

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