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Green Flags?

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By *ymAndIcedCoffee OP   Woman
over a year ago

Worcester

Ok ladies and ladettes, I think we all understand that swinging is a lifestyle that comes with risks.

What are some of your green flags that make you feel *safe* to meet someone?

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Pulse?

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

Good question op.

Decent open and honest profiles are a start.

Pretending to be who you aren't is a waste of time for everyone!

Good communication skills are a must.

If your messages aren't interesting then we aren't interested.

A willingness to respect that we come as a couple and an effort to meet us half way with what we would enjoy balanced with what that person/those people are seeking.

Too many see what they want... expect it on demand and don't care what we are looking for.

Be clean. Smell nice.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I trust my observations when we meet in person. They aren't infallible but I do notice small tells, certain responses and unguarded comments.

The times when I've ignored these I've regretted it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it’s about building a connection.

If they say they are single but can’t talk or nights at weekends then I think are they.

That there’s some good general banter and not all sex talk

That they are not passing by or working locally

That they are honest. I don’t care or judge as long as they are honest. As soon as a “hole” appears in what they are saying then I’m out

And a phone and video chat first. Too many fakes on here

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By *ymAndIcedCoffee OP   Woman
over a year ago

Worcester


"For me it’s about building a connection.

If they say they are single but can’t talk or nights at weekends then I think are they.

That there’s some good general banter and not all sex talk

That they are not passing by or working locally

That they are honest. I don’t care or judge as long as they are honest. As soon as a “hole” appears in what they are saying then I’m out

And a phone and video chat first. Too many fakes on here "

I did specifically ask for women's opinions fwiw.

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By *ryton 123TV/TS
over a year ago

Chatham

You can normally tell a genuine person after chatting for awhile saying that I got my finger burnt last night. Lol.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

They're happy to chat for however long it takes/until I feel comfortable.

They will meet socially with no expectations & appreciate the safety aspects of meeting a man.

They don't belittle other men or talk down about ladies they've met or spoken to.

They've got a good profile and some decent veries.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

They don't push for sex chat or send cock pics.

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By *ymAndIcedCoffee OP   Woman
over a year ago

Worcester


"They're happy to chat for however long it takes/until I feel comfortable.

They will meet socially with no expectations & appreciate the safety aspects of meeting a man.

They don't belittle other men or talk down about ladies they've met or spoken to.

They've got a good profile and some decent veries.

"

Yes! Waiting until you feel comfortable to meet them is a huge deal.

Also if a man indicates that he understands that it's riskier for a woman to meet a man than the other way round, then he gets some green stars I'm probably likely to meet him sooner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For me it’s about building a connection.

If they say they are single but can’t talk or nights at weekends then I think are they.

That there’s some good general banter and not all sex talk

That they are not passing by or working locally

That they are honest. I don’t care or judge as long as they are honest. As soon as a “hole” appears in what they are saying then I’m out

And a phone and video chat first. Too many fakes on here

I did specifically ask for women's opinions fwiw."

My wholehearted humble apologies

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"They're happy to chat for however long it takes/until I feel comfortable.

They will meet socially with no expectations & appreciate the safety aspects of meeting a man.

They don't belittle other men or talk down about ladies they've met or spoken to.

They've got a good profile and some decent veries.

Yes! Waiting until you feel comfortable to meet them is a huge deal.

Also if a man indicates that he understands that it's riskier for a woman to meet a man than the other way round, then he gets some green stars I'm probably likely to meet him sooner."

Absolutely, any pushing to meet sooner or thinking a social will be more than a drink and chat, that's a block.

It's so refreshing when you find someone who is happy to take it at your pace and doesn't think a social means you want to date them.

I met my partner here 8 years ago, we chatted for maybe 6 weeks before meeting and he was fine with that.

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By *ymAndIcedCoffee OP   Woman
over a year ago

Worcester


"

It's so refreshing when you find someone who is happy to take it at your pace and doesn't think a social means you want to date them. "

I think what's been interesting is that this time round on here I've quickly amassed a substantial list of local men that I do want to meet at some point.

But obviously, I can't just meet them all straight away. Because I have a job. And sometimes I just want to watch TV. And I don't have endless money for drinking coffee.

So when I've said to someone that I'm interested, but it'll probably not happen for a few months because I'm keen to meet lots of different people and there's a bit of a list, it's been fascinating how they respond. Some guys are like 'no that's cool, I get it, and I'm into this for the long haul so I'm happy to meet for a social when you have time.' Whereas other guys have been persistent in their messaging, or even downright petulant and insulting.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"

It's so refreshing when you find someone who is happy to take it at your pace and doesn't think a social means you want to date them.

I think what's been interesting is that this time round on here I've quickly amassed a substantial list of local men that I do want to meet at some point.

But obviously, I can't just meet them all straight away. Because I have a job. And sometimes I just want to watch TV. And I don't have endless money for drinking coffee.

So when I've said to someone that I'm interested, but it'll probably not happen for a few months because I'm keen to meet lots of different people and there's a bit of a list, it's been fascinating how they respond. Some guys are like 'no that's cool, I get it, and I'm into this for the long haul so I'm happy to meet for a social when you have time.' Whereas other guys have been persistent in their messaging, or even downright petulant and insulting."

It's a good filter isn't it,

If you talk for a while people out themselves with their real attitudes or personality.

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By *lay 4 uMan
over a year ago

bolton

Bloody he'll am I that bad lol.

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By *inLemonade65Couple
over a year ago

leeds

Spelling.. you can tell a lot from that first initial message, how it’s phrased, effort and willingness to engage in a conversation starter goes a long way

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By *ymAndIcedCoffee OP   Woman
over a year ago

Worcester


"Bloody he'll am I that bad lol."

I don't know, are you?

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By *heYorkshireGentMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"Spelling.. you can tell a lot from that first initial message, how it’s phrased, effort and willingness to engage in a conversation starter goes a long way "

I was just going to say the same thing! How they come across on messages says so much. The same can be said for a quick phone call/FaceTime before meeting, you get the feeling when someone’s not being genuine.

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By *c69funCouple
over a year ago

Chesterfield

A Well written, informative profile,if it's just a few lines ot will fill in later , it's a definite no.

A good mixture of pictures, if it's just dick pictures we usually don't bother.

Good verifications and preferably not from years ago.

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By *essaMayWoman
over a year ago

Fairytale Wood

Not telling me what they think i want to hear to drop my pants.

Doesn't talk to me like i need their cock.

Someone who trully knows what FF is all about and not what they think it is about.

Don't assume I'm stupid and maybe have vastly more braincells than them, and they are not all in my foof

Are always good starters

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

When you realise you've exchanged over 50 messages and not talked about sex yet. It's more about the rapport you build

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

Just to have a good night on an initial social.

Meet in a pub you are happy to stay if its a no show.

Happy, open, honest people.

No angst, drama or misery.

Watch out for too many e-mails or too many questions regarding sexual acts etc.

Pre meet chat with both partners but especially lady, she can only be out so many times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

for me theirs no green flags only red flags .... the moment you start thinking green flags then your judgement becomes flawed ...

put in another wat i trust no one until trust is earnt trust is only earnt with regulars but you have you have it in your mind even trusting someone can go very wrong quickly ...

first meet you learn nothing bar maybe they were a good or crap shag it takes time for trust and friendship especially sexual ones ... see i dont want to know their ins n outs im not looking for a life partner i dont want their baggage no matter what i just want fun anything more than that is a red flag...

so no green flags only red flags for me ... sexual attraction is a must and being on the same page swinging wise

sewe guys think by saying they are one of the good guys is a green flag its not its a red same with those who brag = red and on and on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you realise you've exchanged over 50 messages and not talked about sex yet. It's more about the rapport you build"

that to me is a red flag im looking for people who swing not dating love or relationship 50 messages lol they would be on my block list well before 50 messages ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's someone who is open to non sex chat. And is happy to chat for a while.

I don't meet quickly and if they get pushy I'm off.

I don't need to know their life story or they mine but getting to know someone and having a conversation that isn't all about their cock and what they want to do with it is definitely a good sign.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good communication skills and not cagey about sharing pics or contact details. If you can't do that how folk expect a meet?

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

Just north of Bristol

Kindness, intelligence and humour.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

Just north of Bristol


"Kindness, intelligence and humour. "

And boobs! Never forget boobs.

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By *aughtycandyCouple
over a year ago

chams west Midlands

Great veris from the club

And a bonus if our friends have verified them previously

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe


"When you realise you've exchanged over 50 messages and not talked about sex yet. It's more about the rapport you build

that to me is a red flag im looking for people who swing not dating love or relationship 50 messages lol they would be on my block list well before 50 messages ..."

Lol lucky we're not looking for each other! I'm not looking for dating or love either...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Non sex chat, nothing turns me off quicker than some random I've never met talking dirty, no issues with discussing boundaries and what sort of play we like though...that's important.

Decent recent veris showing they're real. Respectful behaviour towards us both...I'm not looking for a vanilla affair. Profile full of dick pics switch me off. Good face/body pics so we know who we're talking to. Taking safe sex seriously. Nicely written profile...guy who keeps it classy.

Mrs

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