FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Cheating

Jump to newest
 

By *ikos81 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Does someone cheats on your partner?? And why?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Nah.

That's a shitty thing to do to someone I care about

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ob.42Man
over a year ago

Near Yarmouth

Yes. Because she's so big sex is almost gone. Only 2 possible positions and no variety.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erdyCurvyInkedPervyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire


"Nah.

That's a shitty thing to do to someone I care about "

This, absolutely.

He knows I have lovers, he just doesn't want to know about them. Works for us.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *estYorkshireGentMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Such a shit thing to do! If you’re not happy then put your adult pants on and have a conversation with them. It’s literally that simple and saves someone getting absolutely heartbroken over the others wants/needs.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't cheat no....& I've zero time for cheaters

If they sneak around behind their partners back they're gonna do it to you too....

My partner knows I'm here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Nope I have no need to cheat and wouldn't anyway.

My other half is here and we have a joint profile too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arkinberksMan
over a year ago

Ascot

The definition of cheating is engaging in sexual relations with a person other than one's regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding. I’ve been married for over 30 years, but there’s been no sexual activity between us for over 10 years and minimal activity in the previous 7. So on that basis I don’t have a regular partner and any sexual contact I have with anyone else could not be considered cheating. Why don’t I just leave ? Because there’s more to a relationship than just sex. We make a good team. We have brought up two children who we are proud of. We have a comfortable lifestyle. We have some common interests and support each other’s interests. Sex isn’t about love and love isn’t dependent on sex. Why should I give up a perfectly happy non-sexual relationship simply to pursue a sexual relationship with others?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The definition of cheating is engaging in sexual relations with a person other than one's regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding. I’ve been married for over 30 years, but there’s been no sexual activity between us for over 10 years and minimal activity in the previous 7. So on that basis I don’t have a regular partner and any sexual contact I have with anyone else could not be considered cheating. Why don’t I just leave ? Because there’s more to a relationship than just sex. We make a good team. We have brought up two children who we are proud of. We have a comfortable lifestyle. We have some common interests and support each other’s interests. Sex isn’t about love and love isn’t dependent on sex. Why should I give up a perfectly happy non-sexual relationship simply to pursue a sexual relationship with others? "

People are so judgmental, everyone is measuring others with the same shit tape, we are all adults here and we all know what we do with our lives. No one should judge what we do and why……..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
over a year ago

Worcester


"The definition of cheating is engaging in sexual relations with a person other than one's regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding. I’ve been married for over 30 years, but there’s been no sexual activity between us for over 10 years and minimal activity in the previous 7. So on that basis I don’t have a regular partner and any sexual contact I have with anyone else could not be considered cheating. Why don’t I just leave ? Because there’s more to a relationship than just sex. We make a good team. We have brought up two children who we are proud of. We have a comfortable lifestyle. We have some common interests and support each other’s interests. Sex isn’t about love and love isn’t dependent on sex. Why should I give up a perfectly happy non-sexual relationship simply to pursue a sexual relationship with others? "

I would suggest a more modern definition of cheating.

It is behaving in a way that is outside of your negotiated or assumed relationship boundaries/terms.

If your partner assumes you are faithful, or if you declared it in your wedding vows and have had no discussion about not being faithful, then you have broken the boundaries/terms of your relationship and that is cheating.

However, people will always find and use the definition that most suits what they want to achieve.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *assy MissWoman
over a year ago

Sent to Coventry


"The definition of cheating is engaging in sexual relations with a person other than one's regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding. I’ve been married for over 30 years, but there’s been no sexual activity between us for over 10 years and minimal activity in the previous 7. So on that basis I don’t have a regular partner and any sexual contact I have with anyone else could not be considered cheating. Why don’t I just leave ? Because there’s more to a relationship than just sex. We make a good team. We have brought up two children who we are proud of. We have a comfortable lifestyle. We have some common interests and support each other’s interests. Sex isn’t about love and love isn’t dependent on sex. Why should I give up a perfectly happy non-sexual relationship simply to pursue a sexual relationship with others? "

I absolutely agree with this, it’s great that there is so much more to your relationship than sex

As long as your wife knows and you are honest about this on your profile then all is good.

For me this lifestyle is all about trust and honesty. If everyone was honest, no one would be cheating and I wouldn’t unknowingly risk hurting someone’s wife.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The definition of cheating is engaging in sexual relations with a person other than one's regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding. I’ve been married for over 30 years, but there’s been no sexual activity between us for over 10 years and minimal activity in the previous 7. So on that basis I don’t have a regular partner and any sexual contact I have with anyone else could not be considered cheating. Why don’t I just leave ? Because there’s more to a relationship than just sex. We make a good team. We have brought up two children who we are proud of. We have a comfortable lifestyle. We have some common interests and support each other’s interests. Sex isn’t about love and love isn’t dependent on sex. Why should I give up a perfectly happy non-sexual relationship simply to pursue a sexual relationship with others? "

If that makes you feel better…

But most people consider cheating as having sex or any form of intimacy behind your partners back.

If it’s not cheating she’d know about it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ink vixenCouple
over a year ago

Medway

Are we supposed to carry out a full investigation or check references etc whenever we meet a single guy?

A huge percentage of both men and women on here are attached and cheating and whilst nobody wants an angry spouse kicking a hotel door in we’re not the guardians of public morality.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never cheated and wouldn’t knowingly be a part of it, I’ve been cheated on so I know how it feels.

People always say “don’t judge” but it’s human nature to judge and everyone does it even when they don’t notice, no matter the circumstance if the other half isn’t aware then it’s cheating and it’s deceit, I won’t castrate someone but I won’t participate in it either.

People will justify their actions in any way they can in order to deal with the reality. Each to their own, but not for me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ikos81 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Nah.

That's a shitty thing to do to someone I care about "

U are right but I miss try new things. She doesn't want it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ikos81 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"The definition of cheating is engaging in sexual relations with a person other than one's regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding. I’ve been married for over 30 years, but there’s been no sexual activity between us for over 10 years and minimal activity in the previous 7. So on that basis I don’t have a regular partner and any sexual contact I have with anyone else could not be considered cheating. Why don’t I just leave ? Because there’s more to a relationship than just sex. We make a good team. We have brought up two children who we are proud of. We have a comfortable lifestyle. We have some common interests and support each other’s interests. Sex isn’t about love and love isn’t dependent on sex. Why should I give up a perfectly happy non-sexual relationship simply to pursue a sexual relationship with others? "

You are right.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"The definition of cheating is engaging in sexual relations with a person other than one's regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding. I’ve been married for over 30 years, but there’s been no sexual activity between us for over 10 years and minimal activity in the previous 7. So on that basis I don’t have a regular partner and any sexual contact I have with anyone else could not be considered cheating. Why don’t I just leave ? Because there’s more to a relationship than just sex. We make a good team. We have brought up two children who we are proud of. We have a comfortable lifestyle. We have some common interests and support each other’s interests. Sex isn’t about love and love isn’t dependent on sex. Why should I give up a perfectly happy non-sexual relationship simply to pursue a sexual relationship with others?

I would suggest a more modern definition of cheating.

It is behaving in a way that is outside of your negotiated or assumed relationship boundaries/terms.

If your partner assumes you are faithful, or if you declared it in your wedding vows and have had no discussion about not being faithful, then you have broken the boundaries/terms of your relationship and that is cheating.

However, people will always find and use the definition that most suits what they want to achieve."

How about if the assumed boundaries and terms included sex? Why in relationships that have become sexless is it assumed that the person who still would like to be sexual is the one breaking the boundaries?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lovetoowatchMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I never cheated. Been cheated on few times. My idea is if you are not happy in a relationship to a point you have to find that happiness with different person. End that relationship. Its that easy. One night stands because you get d*unk is not a excuse. If you are in open relationship go ahead but if you have to get a shag behind your partner back you are just a regular cunt

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
over a year ago

Worcester


"

How about if the assumed boundaries and terms included sex? Why in relationships that have become sexless is it assumed that the person who still would like to be sexual is the one breaking the boundaries?

"

We got rid of the entitlement of a partner to have sex as a part of the relationship in 1991 when, marital r??? was made illegal.

If you can't imagine a relationship without sex, then you should be clear about that boundary when you enter a committed relationship. If you require it once a week, then you should set that boundary and communicate the consequence (i.e. you will cheat).

Any requirements in a relationship must be communicated fully. Any boundaries in a relationship must be communicated fully.

If you are unsure if something is a boundary (i.e you don't know if your partner would mind if you cheated) then you should talk to them about it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"

How about if the assumed boundaries and terms included sex? Why in relationships that have become sexless is it assumed that the person who still would like to be sexual is the one breaking the boundaries?

We got rid of the entitlement of a partner to have sex as a part of the relationship in 1991 when, marital r??? was made illegal.

If you can't imagine a relationship without sex, then you should be clear about that boundary when you enter a committed relationship. If you require it once a week, then you should set that boundary and communicate the consequence (i.e. you will cheat).

Any requirements in a relationship must be communicated fully. Any boundaries in a relationship must be communicated fully.

If you are unsure if something is a boundary (i.e you don't know if your partner would mind if you cheated) then you should talk to them about it."

I wonder how many people think to discuss this or even imagine it happening at the start of a relationship.

I honestly don't think a person hoping for long term sexual intimacy is quite the same as what you describe

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osh blokeMan
over a year ago

hereford

I don't think anyone cheats because they want to. There's reasons for everything and we shouldn't judge.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

I cheat on my Mrs in the kitchen, I make sure I always have the bigger portion....she has not yet sussed it out ....oh I'm a horrible man lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I don't think anyone cheats because they want to. There's reasons for everything and we shouldn't judge. "

Some people do. I knew a woman years ago who's husband made a recreational pastime of it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *artender_onthelooseMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I believe if you need to cheat that relationship is dead and its time to end it and move on.

Just my opinion. I know people have there own reasons for staying in such relationships

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"I don't think anyone cheats because they want to. There's reasons for everything and we shouldn't judge. "

We all judge people it's human nature.

By Starting posts about cheating, that person is inviting judgements.

If they're gonna cheat, just get on with it and don't seek justification from people on here, because often you won't find it.

Especially when they slate their partners and we only hear one side of it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lovetoowatchMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I don't think anyone cheats because they want to. There's reasons for everything and we shouldn't judge. "

That is exactly what it is. Ppl cheat because they want to. Some mysterious force or demigod is make them cheat. Yes there is a reason for everything but there is also reasons not to cheat. Wanting getting your dick wet is not a reason. If something is not right in your relationship do something about it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
over a year ago

wonderland.


"I don't think anyone cheats because they want to. There's reasons for everything and we shouldn't judge. "

No my ex did because he wanted too

Cali

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The definition of cheating is engaging in sexual relations with a person other than one's regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding. I’ve been married for over 30 years, but there’s been no sexual activity between us for over 10 years and minimal activity in the previous 7. So on that basis I don’t have a regular partner and any sexual contact I have with anyone else could not be considered cheating. Why don’t I just leave ? Because there’s more to a relationship than just sex. We make a good team. We have brought up two children who we are proud of. We have a comfortable lifestyle. We have some common interests and support each other’s interests. Sex isn’t about love and love isn’t dependent on sex. Why should I give up a perfectly happy non-sexual relationship simply to pursue a sexual relationship with others?

I would suggest a more modern definition of cheating.

It is behaving in a way that is outside of your negotiated or assumed relationship boundaries/terms.

If your partner assumes you are faithful, or if you declared it in your wedding vows and have had no discussion about not being faithful, then you have broken the boundaries/terms of your relationship and that is cheating.

However, people will always find and use the definition that most suits what they want to achieve."

I agree, I have been in two open relationships where we discussed everything

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aptainChunkyMan
over a year ago

Redditch

I do, regularly, as we're quite open minded about what is relationship and what's NSA sex

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
over a year ago

Worcester


"

Especially when they slate their partners and we only hear one side of it. "

That's the kicker.

A guy might come on here and say that he's cheating because his wife doesn't put out anymore.

But if we asked the wife, we might find that she's all touched out from having three kids under the age of eight, including a young breastfeeding toddler, and that the husband works 60 hours a week at the office, plays golf every Saturday with his mates, and expects her not only to look after the house and have dinner on the table for him every night (without him doing any of the work, of course), but also to host his family every Sunday for lunch.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

My first instinct is to say it's a bad thing, but then I don't want to judge as each person has a reason for everything they do.

Honesty is big for me though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place


"

Especially when they slate their partners and we only hear one side of it.

That's the kicker.

A guy might come on here and say that he's cheating because his wife doesn't put out anymore.

But if we asked the wife, we might find that she's all touched out from having three kids under the age of eight, including a young breastfeeding toddler, and that the husband works 60 hours a week at the office, plays golf every Saturday with his mates, and expects her not only to look after the house and have dinner on the table for him every night (without him doing any of the work, of course), but also to host his family every Sunday for lunch."

This is a fantastic point I know lots of men like this and I can see why women get annoyed at the male sex

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

But then following on there are women I'm sure who have there hair done, nails, eyebrows etc leaving the men to do all the hobbies with children - which should be considered the equal of a man playing golf every weekend

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There


"The definition of cheating is engaging in sexual relations with a person other than one's regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding. I’ve been married for over 30 years, but there’s been no sexual activity between us for over 10 years and minimal activity in the previous 7. So on that basis I don’t have a regular partner and any sexual contact I have with anyone else could not be considered cheating. Why don’t I just leave ? Because there’s more to a relationship than just sex. We make a good team. We have brought up two children who we are proud of. We have a comfortable lifestyle. We have some common interests and support each other’s interests. Sex isn’t about love and love isn’t dependent on sex. Why should I give up a perfectly happy non-sexual relationship simply to pursue a sexual relationship with others? "

Does your partner know you’re having/seeking sex with others? If not it’s cheating and you know it. Can’t get out of it on a technicality.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"But then following on there are women I'm sure who have there hair done, nails, eyebrows etc leaving the men to do all the hobbies with children - which should be considered the equal of a man playing golf every weekend "

I worked 2 jobs, skipped meals to afford my exes food while he spent his disposable income on tattoos, I did absolutely everything in the home, cooked cleaned and shopped etc. He could have had my sex on tap but never wanted it. And he still left me for someone else! There is no winning - Xeno

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lashyMan
over a year ago

a lather

My wife wants sex and I’m not as motivated by it as I used to be. We have been married for well over thirty years, two grown up kids etc. so my wife gets it elsewhere, which I do find a turn on but not to the extent that I want to have sex with her myself. She doesn’t want to have sex with me either. Therefore being comfortably off and not wanting to upset the kids we rub along like this. Overall we get along well enough and she goes out to see other men which I am aware of but don’t know the details of what happens. We have been through the swinging scene, clubs, parties etc and had great experiences. My wife has seen other men since before we had our kids and it has been a significant feature of our marriage. Everyone has different experiences and expectations and one persons cheating is another persons normal.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place


"But then following on there are women I'm sure who have there hair done, nails, eyebrows etc leaving the men to do all the hobbies with children - which should be considered the equal of a man playing golf every weekend

I worked 2 jobs, skipped meals to afford my exes food while he spent his disposable income on tattoos, I did absolutely everything in the home, cooked cleaned and shopped etc. He could have had my sex on tap but never wanted it. And he still left me for someone else! There is no winning - Xeno"
Yeah this guy needs a slap

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lovetoowatchMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"My wife wants sex and I’m not as motivated by it as I used to be. We have been married for well over thirty years, two grown up kids etc. so my wife gets it elsewhere, which I do find a turn on but not to the extent that I want to have sex with her myself. She doesn’t want to have sex with me either. Therefore being comfortably off and not wanting to upset the kids we rub along like this. Overall we get along well enough and she goes out to see other men which I am aware of but don’t know the details of what happens. We have been through the swinging scene, clubs, parties etc and had great experiences. My wife has seen other men since before we had our kids and it has been a significant feature of our marriage. Everyone has different experiences and expectations and one persons cheating is another persons normal."

So you know she gets it elsewhere and you ok with that so by definition is not cheating

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittlelad69Man
over a year ago

clay cross

My wife’s not been interested in sex for over a year, everything else is fine but I need that sexual pleasure hence why I’m on here and she doesn’t know about it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
over a year ago

Worcester

What's interesting is that I'm in a Facebook group that is exclusively for women and is about trying to bring about equality in your relationships/personal life/career/etc.

The amount of women who post on there who KNOW that their partners are on Fabs or dating apps is incredible. These men think their wives were born yesterday, I swear.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heelz69Man
over a year ago

Manchester

I don't and won't cheat I really don't see the point, if you're not happy with your sex life then be single or have a conversation about it and talk about being open, swinging etc. There's no need to cheat!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *owestoft ManMan
over a year ago

Lowestoft

The Ex and I were married for about 37 years. We often talked about swinging but never really did much. But after about 2 years in I caught her with another man in a car and watched her getting done from behind some bushes. Told her I saw her and we never stopped swinging after that, well until we got divorced lol.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nlyessexCouple
over a year ago

Hornchurch

Never

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osephSamuel90Man
over a year ago

Warfield

Morality aside I just think cheating must be physically and mentally exhausting and not worth the effort. Im a single man and even the idea of people in my real life finding out Im on here would be embarassing for me. So for men or women who cheat and lead double lives is it not exhausting constantly worrying about your partner finding out and having to keep your lies straight?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Morality aside I just think cheating must be physically and mentally exhausting and not worth the effort. Im a single man and even the idea of people in my real life finding out Im on here would be embarassing for me. So for men or women who cheat and lead double lives is it not exhausting constantly worrying about your partner finding out and having to keep your lies straight?"

I think for some they actually don't care if they are found out.

It all seems very black and white on paper but it very rarely is.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ellaboo400Couple
over a year ago

Gorebridge


"The definition of cheating is engaging in sexual relations with a person other than one's regular partner in contravention of a previous promise or understanding. I’ve been married for over 30 years, but there’s been no sexual activity between us for over 10 years and minimal activity in the previous 7. So on that basis I don’t have a regular partner and any sexual contact I have with anyone else could not be considered cheating. Why don’t I just leave ? Because there’s more to a relationship than just sex. We make a good team. We have brought up two children who we are proud of. We have a comfortable lifestyle. We have some common interests and support each other’s interests. Sex isn’t about love and love isn’t dependent on sex. Why should I give up a perfectly happy non-sexual relationship simply to pursue a sexual relationship with others? "

So she knows?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *edplusoneCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

Nothing quite like coming home from a great meet with a clean conscience and telling your wife all about it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abonTedCouple
over a year ago

Midlands & Cheltenham

Cheating is about being dishonest. Whether you’re playing monopoly or having sex. And it’s up to the individual if they’re comfortable with being/being with someone who is being dishonest.

Of course there are all manner of extenuating circumstances sometimes. And there are all manner of convincing delusions. Bottom line is that it *is* dishonest if you’re not being truthful.

M

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ellaboo400Couple
over a year ago

Gorebridge


"Cheating is about being dishonest. Whether you’re playing monopoly or having sex. And it’s up to the individual if they’re comfortable with being/being with someone who is being dishonest.

Of course there are all manner of extenuating circumstances sometimes. And there are all manner of convincing delusions. Bottom line is that it *is* dishonest if you’re not being truthful.

M"

Yes!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rgasmicChemistryCouple
over a year ago

east coast

Hell NO if someone going to cheat save the others heart break and end it

J

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *enatton2Couple
over a year ago

West Midlands

I’m not sure how you can ever be 100% sure somebody is truly single, you can be vigilant to the signs but if we invite a guy we like to our hotel room on a weekend away, we don’t have time for lie detector tests.

We wouldn’t knowingly do it but we’ll hardly grill somebody. They’re here at their own risk

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top