FabSwingers.com forum: Tinder date. When do you tell

By *amnaughtybutnice OP Woman
over a year ago

tf1

So I have a tinder date.

I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I have a tinder date.

I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.

Put it on your profile so everyone knows up front. If you don’t want to be direct then maybe hint at it in some way.

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By *amnaughtybutnice OP Woman
over a year ago

tf1

"So I have a tinder date.

I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.

Put it on your profile so everyone knows up front. If you don’t want to be direct then maybe hint at it in some way."

The way but then I will get loads of messages from guys looking for hook ups or thinking I’m easy.

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By *hirleyMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Don't. Not till you meet the parents.

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
over a year ago

wonderland.

I wouldn’t mention it straight away, see how things develop and if you start getting feelings then that’s the time.

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By *amnaughtybutnice OP Woman
over a year ago

tf1

"Don't. Not till you meet the parents. "

What if I already know the parents. That could be awkward

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Probably the first date if it's really important to you and a non-negotiable

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By *hirleyMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"Don't. Not till you meet the parents.

What if I already know the parents. That could be awkward

You're not doing fab right if you haven't bent the rents over your knee...

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

If its a first date nothing to tell. If it develops into something more then you can say something.

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By *hloe_TTV/TS
over a year ago

Nottingham

Yeah definitely not on the first date. Id say a couple of months. If you dont want to be exclusive yet, just say that. If you want him involved then i guess just when you feel like its the right time.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Personally I prefer to be upfront from the start about how relationships work for me. Saves someone getting emotionally invested in someone they're incompatible with

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By *inkyguyUKMan
over a year ago

worcester

At the wedding x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Second date if you think there might be a third. I can't see any point in wasting your time or his

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By *amnaughtybutnice OP Woman
over a year ago

tf1

"At the wedding x"

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By *ostindreamsMan
over a year ago

London

"At the wedding x"

Wedding night surprise

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By *ostindreamsMan
over a year ago

London

Seriously though, I would say second or third date after you have confirmed there is chemistry with that person.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Be comfortably into the first date, drinks on, relaxed and then ask if he’d be interested in a threesome… with another guy…. in sex club…. with complete strangers watching…

If he’s grinning like an idiot afterwards then you know..

I got introduced to Fab by a Tinder date so the possibility of finding a naughty soul mate isn’t outside the realms of possibility…

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

What until he asks “What are you doing on the weekend?” and you can drop the hint by telling him you are doing a bunch of guys in a gangbang. If his eyes light up then you know you have a keeper.

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By *esire in SheffieldMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

After a couple dates when you think you are happy to go further tell him what you want

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By *panksspankedMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

See how he feels about the strap on first

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By *amnaughtybutnice OP Woman
over a year ago

tf1

"See how he feels about the strap on first "

Good point. Maybe not on first date tho ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From past experience they are normally on here anyways x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah definitely not on the first date. Id say a couple of months. If you dont want to be exclusive yet, just say that. If you want him involved then i guess just when you feel like its the right time. "

A few months? That’s way too far down the line to be playing with someone’s emotions

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By *weetsmellingtreatsWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

"What until he asks “What are you doing on the weekend?” and you can drop the hint by telling him you are doing a bunch of guys in a gangbang. If his eyes light up then you know you have a keeper."

I had a colleague ask me once what I did the weekend so I just flippantly answered I had a gangbang (it was true) they laughed and said no really what did you do. At which point I said what’s the point in answering you don’t believe me. I still laugh now at it and they have never asked me what I did on the weekend since!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I prefer to be upfront from the start about how relationships work for me. Saves someone getting emotionally invested in someone they're incompatible with

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By *hamrocker23Man
over a year ago

Town

"So I have a tinder date.

I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.

Some point in an around the pillow talk after your first time having sex perhaps? Like in a light way ... Especially if the sex was good.

Could be like "oh wow babe you'd do great on this site I'm on" haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't that be part of the conversation:

'what are you hoping for'

'I'm not looking for a monogamous relationship'

'oh my hobbies, i like swinging, have you heard of fab?'

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By *hastityPleasureGiverMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

Not tinder have put "previously been in a cuckold relationships and looking for another" on my pof profile

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By *unCpl1003Couple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I would say once it is looking like it could go somewhere, If it’s a first date it’s not really there business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I have a tinder date.

I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.

I'm not sure there's a requirement unless you feel guilt. If you do, I'd wait until you are absolutely sure what his lifestyle is, lifestyle widely defined. Men are very good at hiding the reality.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Talk in-depth so you are able to understand each other then mention the site if they've ever heard of it

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By *ink vixenCouple
over a year ago

Medway

Tinder is so superficial.

I wouldn’t say anything for the first date and if it goes to two then drop some heavy hints.

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By *oodjenWoman
over a year ago

london

Had the same

Issues lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While his on the vinegar strokes! haha

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If I was dating someone and I thought there was a possibility it might be long term I'd feel a bit miffed and misled if suddenly a non negotiable such as swinging was sprung on me.

God forbid I ever have to date again but if I did I'd mention anything that was an absolute requirement pretty quickly.

My list includes must like going on holiday and a warm house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't be telling 'all' on a first date....defo not....

Maybe he's here too....who knows....

Approach the subject lightly when you've met him a few times....Just put your 'feelers' out....& I'm sure you'll get signs from his reaction when you mention swinging....You could say something like "did you ever hear of fabswingers"....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually, is it a "date" or casual sex that's planned? Never used it but I had the impression that Tinder is a casual sex app whereas Match is dating and serious relationships.

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By *tagmeupMan
over a year ago

wirral

[Removed by poster at 14/01/24 09:07:29]

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By *tagmeupMan
over a year ago

wirral

Totally get this dilemma as i dont want to date vanilla. When i say at the beginning it puts people off as they have all turned out to be vanilla. Leaving it too long feels like a waste of time too. This is why fab needs a dating section.

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By *tagmeupMan
over a year ago

wirral

"Personally I prefer to be upfront from the start about how relationships work for me. Saves someone getting emotionally invested in someone they're incompatible with

Totally get this

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By *ixenFoxCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

We met on Tinder, on our first date I mentioned I'm a bit of a hippy and Vixen replied that she's into free love. Joined Fab a week later!

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By *irthy89888Man
over a year ago

Barnsley

Well I'm looking fir the same at the moment op but i have had 3 first dates woth 3 people and as soon as I mentioned it we haven’t spoke again so wasted time with the dates and speaking beforehand.

So now its on my profile and i speak about it openly works alot better and doesn’t waste time .

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By *ee And MikeCouple
over a year ago

Cannock

"So I have a tinder date.

I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.

Dee has a couple of accounts that she dips into now and again, just be honest with the guy that you are into the lifestyle and you want it to stay that way, most guys are looking for similar things on dating sites so just be yourself and true to your needs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a great thread! I met Mrs B on Tinder, on the very first date I told her that I was “open minded” - I said right, let me tell you something that is probably going to scare you off - I told her a little story about how I went to a swingers club last month and it’s something I want to explore more of.. it lead to lots and lots of questions, no judging, lots of curiosity and after one month of dating we went together and the rest is history!

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Sooner the better really otherwise they might feel a certain way when realise they taking you out on dates & you going back home to fuck a random dude or chick of a sex site lol

just saying!

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By *hastityPleasureGiverMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

"Not tinder have put "previously been in a cuckold relationships and looking for another" on my pof profile "

I didn't always tell them I was in a chastity cage until 2nd or 3rd date though

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

If it's non-negotiable, it needs to be said up front. Either in your bio (looking for a partner who's happy to not be monogamous with me) or in the first date.

You don't need to tell them you're a swinger, specifically. Call yourself poly. Just that they can't go into this expecting to be monogamous. It's pretty harsh, letting them build up hope that you could be The One, only to be blindsided on the third date.

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By *tagmeupMan
over a year ago

wirral

"This is a great thread! I met Mrs B on Tinder, on the very first date I told her that I was “open minded” - I said right, let me tell you something that is probably going to scare you off - I told her a little story about how I went to a swingers club last month and it’s something I want to explore more of.. it lead to lots and lots of questions, no judging, lots of curiosity and after one month of dating we went together and the rest is history! "

You lucky man, the absolute dream . It scares them off when i mention it.

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By *jbucksCouple
over a year ago

Bletchley

Just be honest on the date. They might be keen to join you on this lifestyle journey. If they don't then it adds the question was they right for you in the first place if this is a part of you.

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By *amnaughtybutnice OP Woman
over a year ago

tf1

Well thanks for all your advice.

He stopped talking so didn’t even make it to a date

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By *_new_memberMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury

Definitely his loss. So now you have more free time ....

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By *amnaughtybutnice OP Woman
over a year ago

tf1

"Definitely his loss. So now you have more free time ....

That is very true.

Now what trouble can I get myself into

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/01/24 19:36:44]

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Was going to say there is no need to tell anyone on a 1st date. If things were to progress then it would be time to have the conversation.

Sorry to hear he stopped talking but onwards and upwards OP x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am on few date apps and men off fab on there too I get loads messages saying seen me on fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I found my love of my life I wouldn't do this lifestyle anyway

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By *jonesMan
52 weeks ago

Plymouth

For most of my tinder / bumble dates ...and my profile has a few clues .. like "not sure what I'm looking for " under relationship type etc,if on meeting them we are getting on I very gently bring up things like ...being quite sexually adventurous after getting separated.., would love to go clubbing in Berlin etc and see how the conversation goes ...if it sounds promising I would carry on for a few more dates and expand the discussion and hopefully get a positive response. I would, and have, happily can my activities on here whilst trying to develop a regular date. And see where it goes.

It's a bit of a tight rope walk ...and I wish more people would use feeld .. it's so refreshing ...

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By *olfandtazCouple
52 weeks ago

Bristol

For me, I've always just gone with I'm open minded and like alternative things... its open enough for them to want to know more but not blunt enough to ram it down their throats

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By *andy cane321Couple
52 weeks ago

Aylesbury

We met on tinder. It was a pre requisite on the initial chatting stage that swinging was on the agenda and we wouldn't be compatible if it wasn't what the other person wanted. Its been a great journey ever since we met

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By *hedark_knightMan
52 weeks ago

Edinburgh

You should look into an app called “Feeld”

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By *jonesMan
52 weeks ago

Plymouth

"We met on tinder. It was a pre requisite on the initial chatting stage that swinging was on the agenda and we wouldn't be compatible if it wasn't what the other person wanted. Its been a great journey ever since we met

That's pretty amazing to hear ...most woman would run a mile if I suggested that early on I think ...

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By *jonesMan
52 weeks ago

Plymouth

"You should look into an app called “Feeld” "

It's good but not that many people use it ..I've found ...

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By *cLovin2Man
52 weeks ago

Reading

"At the wedding x

Wedding night surprise

Better yet 5 years into the marriage when he walks in on you and gets an eyeful

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By *ouples_EroticaXXXCouple
52 weeks ago

manchester

"So I have a tinder date.

I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.

First date

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By *asygoingcouple1000Couple
52 weeks ago

all over

At least 5 dates, otherwise his focus will be all wrong.

Donkey and carrot.

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By *aggy dollsCouple
52 weeks ago

bradford

We met on tinder (during lockdown) so there were a lot phonecalls between us before we actually met in person, we were both open and honest from the offset about our sexualities and what other sites/apps we had profiles on, luckily for us we are both filthy fuckers and we're on the same platforms

Mr H

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By *loss aka Miss JonesWoman
52 weeks ago

south coast IOW

I have given up with any dating i just stick to fab now. That way we know where we stand. It does mean that I’ll probably end up single forever though

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

When he comes home and find us all in bed

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By *entleman JayMan
52 weeks ago

Wakefield

I’m on Tinder. I’ll have the conversation before any date.

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By *entleman JayMan
52 weeks ago

Wakefield

I know a lady that went to The Harvester one Sunday lunchtime on a first date. They didn’t stay for the carvery after he told her “I know a club that opens on a Sunday afternoon”.

They both went straight to Adam an Eves for the afternoon session.

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By *oupleus30Couple
52 weeks ago

Minster

I would tell them straight as he/she may not want to see you for a 2nd date if they aren't interested in sharing you!

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By *ittlelad69Man
52 weeks ago

clay cross

"So I have a tinder date.

I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.

Tell him straight away. Best being honest!! Coming from a bloke looking to get a shag behind his wife’s back

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By *quirtyndirty!Couple
51 weeks ago

Nottingham

When I was on tinder/bumble I used to tell all potential dates that I'd like a swinging partner fairly early. Most didn't want to but fortunately one in particular did

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago

"So I have a tinder date.

I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.

Don’t not until you think it might be going somewhere. Then just test the water when you feel comfortable talking about it to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago

2 days after your wedding

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