FabSwingers.com forum: No means convince me

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know it's me letting silly things bother me. Got a lot of life stuff going on ATM, and my block button needs a rest.

But why, do so many guys (I say guys cause that's my experience) on here think a polite no thank you means convince me.

I've had three separate messages back today saying things like "I'm persistent" or " I'm not giving up until you say yes".

Is it a thing I'm just not getting...

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

No means no.

Just the block the people that think it means anything else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a guy the other day kept on messaging after i told him no asking to give him a chance ended up blocking him

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By *issolvedOrdersMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"I know it's me letting silly things bother me. Got a lot of life stuff going on ATM, and my block button needs a rest.

But why, do so many guys (I say guys cause that's my experience) on here think a polite no thank you means convince me.

I've had three separate messages back today saying things like "I'm persistent" or " I'm not giving up until you say yes".

Is it a thing I'm just not getting... "

Not in the slightest.. it’s a thing they are not getting! No means unequivocally no!

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

There is a guy currently messaging me everyday with just “Good morning”,

I have never opened a single message, it’s obvious I’m not interested.

At this stage I’m just curious for how long it will last.

It’s been 14 days so far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No means no. It's that simple.

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By *luttTV/TS
over a year ago

Duns

"I know it's me letting silly things bother me. Got a lot of life stuff going on ATM, and my block button needs a rest.

But why, do so many guys (I say guys cause that's my experience) on here think a polite no thank you means convince me.

I've had three separate messages back today saying things like "I'm persistent" or " I'm not giving up until you say yes".

Is it a thing I'm just not getting...

Not in the slightest.. it’s a thing they are not getting! No means unequivocally no! "

And if it does mean “no for now”, then ignoring it is a great way to turn it in to a “permanently no”.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

I think it's more nuanced than this. Sometimes a no is a no and sometimes there's a bit of room for maneuver. I say this from my own experience as a single from times I've initially been rebuffed but turned that around with a bit of effort. But that only works if you're not completely tone death.

And it's not been about the chase either or applying pressure or being beggy. It's only worked because of no pressure, just keeping the lines of communication open and letting things develop. Obviously a line of communication is a two way thing, so if nothing is coming back you have an answer clear as day.

So I have no problem with people chancing their arm. Over history a lot of good things may not have been if people gave up on the first rebuff. However it's important to understand the difference between a bit of persistence and being annoying and creepy. And why anyone thinks being annoying and creepy gets you anywhere I don't know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know it's me letting silly things bother me. Got a lot of life stuff going on ATM, and my block button needs a rest.

But why, do so many guys (I say guys cause that's my experience) on here think a polite no thank you means convince me.

I've had three separate messages back today saying things like "I'm persistent" or " I'm not giving up until you say yes".

Is it a thing I'm just not getting... "

I reply and say there's no way in hell any woman should meet a man who can't take no for answer and he could be dangerous and he should get help.

That usually makes them think about what they're doing.

Not always.

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By *pankingNorfolkCouple
over a year ago

Norwichish

Blame Bond…….(60’s, 70’s and 80’s Bond)

No James….oh you don’t mean that…..No James…..oh come on….No James…..etc etc

Final scene James is in bed with the girl who is now saying yes.

Unfortunately the behaviour has been ingrained into the male psyche for many many years.

Hopefully as time changes and what we see on TV and film changes then maybe just maybe it will change.

Admittedly that’s not all men, but it’s there.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

instant block for me anyone who wont take no for a answer is simply dangerous and tho mainly men lets be perfectly clear there are women and couples too who wont take a no ... take no risk block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"instant block for me anyone who wont take no for a answer is simply dangerous and tho mainly men lets be perfectly clear there are women and couples too who wont take a no ... take no risk block"

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"I know it's me letting silly things bother me. Got a lot of life stuff going on ATM, and my block button needs a rest.

But why, do so many guys (I say guys cause that's my experience) on here think a polite no thank you means convince me.

I've had three separate messages back today saying things like "I'm persistent" or " I'm not giving up until you say yes".

Is it a thing I'm just not getting... "

You won't get an answer to your question unfortunately. The best thing to do is not to reply to messages you're not interested in, then you're far less likely to receive such messages. Some people probably send 100s of messages and will forget who they messaged, if they get a reply with a polite "no thank you" it will jog their memory and they think theres no harm in sending another message!

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By *etsplay90Man
over a year ago

Leicester

I think it's sad and dangerous when men won't take no for an answer,

Personally if I get a polite "No thank you" then I will always reply back thanking the sender for taking the time to respond so politely, and wishing them all the best on their journey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's sad and dangerous when men won't take no for an answer,

Personally if I get a polite "No thank you" then I will always reply back thanking the sender for taking the time to respond so politely, and wishing them all the best on their journey

I’m 100% you, personally I’d rather have a no than no reply, as you said, you can then just thank them for the message and move on… that said, if I got 100 messages a day like some of the ladies do, I wouldn’t be responding to them all either haha

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By *XSnoopy72XXMan
over a year ago

snaith

"I know it's me letting silly things bother me. Got a lot of life stuff going on ATM, and my block button needs a rest.

But why, do so many guys (I say guys cause that's my experience) on here think a polite no thank you means convince me.

I've had three separate messages back today saying things like "I'm persistent" or " I'm not giving up until you say yes".

Is it a thing I'm just not getting... "

properly going to get hated for this but feck it:

99 percent of the men on these sights only have half a brain and the over riding parts there cock, just block and move on there are some which arent that bad.

ps thats not me by the way its just my cock talking lol lol x

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"Blame Bond…….(60’s, 70’s and 80’s Bond)

No James….oh you don’t mean that…..No James…..oh come on….No James…..etc etc

Final scene James is in bed with the girl who is now saying yes.

Unfortunately the behaviour has been ingrained into the male psyche for many many years.

Hopefully as time changes and what we see on TV and film changes then maybe just maybe it will change.

Admittedly that’s not all men, but it’s there."

There is two sides of the fence to this, where some ladies like to be coy about saying no, so as to not seem as keen as they are. They like to have guys chasing them and thrive on the attention that they get. I know two women personally who thrive on having more than one guy competing for their affection and are happy to lap it up.

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By *hunky ChefMan
over a year ago

Norwich

"There is a guy currently messaging me everyday with just “Good morning”,

I have never opened a single message, it’s obvious I’m not interested.

At this stage I’m just curious for how long it will last.

It’s been 14 days so far."

Now that one deserves to be blocked, because that sounds like he thinks you're in a relationship or something.

He sounds like a little Norman Bates still behaving nicely.

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By *ister_EMan
over a year ago

Hayling Island

The only correct response to "No" is "OK no problem!" although under some circumstances I may ocasionaly add "Just let me know if you ever change your mind"

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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst

As a man in an MF couple who does the admin and has single men blocked from messaging us, I am totally bubble-wrapped from the kind of "communication" that single women are used to receive. However, I can relate to the OP post.

When we are rejected by a couple, I am always grateful to have a reply, so I thank them and move on. I would not imagine ourselves saying "we are persistent" or "won't give up until you say yes".

It would be ludicrous and we have never received such a ridiculous response.

But on occasion, when we are the ones not interested, some couples come back with a "why don't you give it a go?" Or "just meet us for a social, no harm if there's no spark".

The harm is that we have limited time to spend in swinging. If there's no spark now, there won't be any spark later. If one or both of us don't find a couple's profile attractive, it does not matter how you come across in person. We'll have a nice chat together, go back home saying "what a lovely couple they were", but will not create an attraction that was not there in the first place.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

It's not just the men, some women and couples are the same.

I just let them talk to myself in the inbox and ignore it, unless they are extremely abusive then I'll report and block.

Mrs

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

First date worry:

Him: I hope she looks like her photos

Her: I hope he doesn't try to s/a or unalive me..

My block button gets used for this type of person... Creep me out and you're on the list, refuse a polite no and continue sexualised conversation and I'll assume you're incapable of following instructions and hearing what I'm saying..

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By *ilffadMan
over a year ago

swansea

No means no, in sexual matters and elsewhere. If I say no, and you persist, you will piss me off rather rapidly

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"Blame Bond…….(60’s, 70’s and 80’s Bond)

No James….oh you don’t mean that…..No James…..oh come on….No James…..etc etc

Final scene James is in bed with the girl who is now saying yes.

Unfortunately the behaviour has been ingrained into the male psyche for many many years.

Hopefully as time changes and what we see on TV and film changes then maybe just maybe it will change.

Admittedly that’s not all men, but it’s there."

That's a good point. I did always think Bond was a bit of a dick back then for that reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An unfortunate side effect of the trendyism of swinging.

Too many getting involved when they don’t really understand the lifestyle. Too many see it as a simple fuck… and whilst the problem is undoubtedly mainly with males, there are a number of women here who view it in the same way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blame Bond…….(60’s, 70’s and 80’s Bond)

No James….oh you don’t mean that…..No James…..oh come on….No James…..etc etc

Final scene James is in bed with the girl who is now saying yes.

Unfortunately the behaviour has been ingrained into the male psyche for many many years.

Hopefully as time changes and what we see on TV and film changes then maybe just maybe it will change.

Admittedly that’s not all men, but it’s there."

Interesting thinking … Question for those experiencing this … is the issue age related? I mean is it the younger male or is there no pattern?

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"I know it's me letting silly things bother me. Got a lot of life stuff going on ATM, and my block button needs a rest.

But why, do so many guys (I say guys cause that's my experience) on here think a polite no thank you means convince me.

I've had three separate messages back today saying things like "I'm persistent" or " I'm not giving up until you say yes".

Is it a thing I'm just not getting... "

What they mean is “I am a coercive controller person “

Block block block

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By *pankingNorfolkCouple
over a year ago

Norwichish

"Blame Bond…….(60’s, 70’s and 80’s Bond)

No James….oh you don’t mean that…..No James…..oh come on….No James…..etc etc

Final scene James is in bed with the girl who is now saying yes.

Unfortunately the behaviour has been ingrained into the male psyche for many many years.

Hopefully as time changes and what we see on TV and film changes then maybe just maybe it will change.

Admittedly that’s not all men, but it’s there.

Interesting thinking … Question for those experiencing this … is the issue age related? I mean is it the younger male or is there no pattern?

Unfortunately porn still plays a part in this too, particularly in the lifestyle scene.

Where some guys believe that because someone is on this website they are the same as the girls they watch in porn movies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not you ‘letting silly things bother’ you, you are allowed to feel what you feel, but in my experience when I have got riled up over things on here it’s gone hand in hand with me being riled up in general and needing some sort of self care or a break

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By *od ThrusterMan
over a year ago

Newport Pagnell

I don't get it. If someone replies to say they're not interested then why persist. All it does is annoy people and waste everyones time.

If I get a "thanks but no thanks" type message I tend to reply thanking them for their reply and wishing them well. Hopefully it goes a long way to showing people that all single males are not arseholes.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

It's frustrating isn't it? "Persistent second msg.... I know I'm not really what you're looking for, but I'm going to try again"

Ugh... Just don't!

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

“Bumping in case my first message get lost in your inbox”

I can assure you it’s never the case.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"Blame Bond…….(60’s, 70’s and 80’s Bond)

No James….oh you don’t mean that…..No James…..oh come on….No James…..etc etc

Final scene James is in bed with the girl who is now saying yes.

Unfortunately the behaviour has been ingrained into the male psyche for many many years.

Hopefully as time changes and what we see on TV and film changes then maybe just maybe it will change.

Admittedly that’s not all men, but it’s there.

Interesting thinking … Question for those experiencing this … is the issue age related? I mean is it the younger male or is there no pattern?

Not much of a pattern, the older male can be just as disrespectful by ignoring a no, if not slightly more than the younger ones in my experience

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By *agicroundabout3100Couple
over a year ago

Camberley

"There is a guy currently messaging me everyday with just “Good morning”,

I have never opened a single message, it’s obvious I’m not interested.

At this stage I’m just curious for how long it will last.

It’s been 14 days so far."

That’s tickled us..... is it still going?

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By *unlovin72Man
over a year ago

BARNSLEY

No means no end of conversation even a no reply or a deleted message means no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No means no end of conversation even a no reply or a deleted message means no.

Not every guy thinks like you though

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

"Blame Bond…….(60’s, 70’s and 80’s Bond)

No James….oh you don’t mean that…..No James…..oh come on….No James…..etc etc

Final scene James is in bed with the girl who is now saying yes.

Unfortunately the behaviour has been ingrained into the male psyche for many many years.

Hopefully as time changes and what we see on TV and film changes then maybe just maybe it will change.

Admittedly that’s not all men, but it’s there.

Interesting thinking … Question for those experiencing this … is the issue age related? I mean is it the younger male or is there no pattern?

In my experience, older men are much more likely to do this.

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By *emma200Woman
over a year ago

Warwickshire

Just block them OP

I have many messages that have significant follow up messages as to why I didn’t reply or don’t reply!

The one that makes me laugh the most is a lad messaged consistently and on his last messages asked me to block him to saves himself embarrassment of him messaging me again.. now this deserves his only reply of “or you could stop messaging me” before I hit the block button x

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