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Looking for a dom…. Where to start?

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By *lushBear OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

somewhere near you

So possibly thinking I’d like some experience with a Dom, happy for husband to be around but not cuckhold - humiliation stuff.

More a confidant, experienced dom who knows what they are doing.

How do you find the more ‘professional’ types away from every Tom, Dick & Harry wannabe dom messaging most days telling me they want to dom me by throat holding and me saying yes to whatever they want to do!

Thanks for reading.

Blush xx

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
51 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

If you want a professional experience then the best bet is to pay a professional.

If you're interested in getting to know people actually into it all, get out to your local munches, make some connections, see who you have chemistry with and work from there

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By *arry monk40Man
51 weeks ago

Telford

Move to middle of country have the whole land commutable then genuine fellows will be available not just chancers leaving your local wetherspoon

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By *iss DevilWoman
51 weeks ago

Bedford

Might be best to try the fetish site rather than here even though it's more difficult to navigate. As far as I am aware, there are some local munches advertised there, you may find some near you. Attending one might be your best shot.

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By *inkedKuntsCouple
51 weeks ago

Sheffield

'A Dom' is a very catch all phrase, some will be suited to certain fetishes and others not. What is it your looking for? Are you wanting a sadist? A daddy dom? Maybe a pleasure dom?

I would recommend joining the specialist fetish website and start to look at some of the groups out there, figure out what your actually looking for and then go to some munches, then maybe some play events and see if it is what you want.

Also be very wary of 'Doms' on here, many claim to be but we had to explain what after care was the other day to an apparent experienced dom.

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By *tlanshiaWoman
51 weeks ago

Chatham

It's a tough one.

Have a think and find out what your looking for. What's important for you.

Find local munches, and play events, often advertised on the life of fet.

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By *pankingNorfolkCouple
51 weeks ago

Norwichish

Second those that suggest munches organised on those other websites. The link community is generally a very friendly and welcoming bunch.

Alternative is to visit local clubs with dungeons. Normally a few about like us who enjoy the kink side and will happily talk you through what we do and our toys.

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By *lushBear OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

somewhere near you

Thanks so much to those that have messages here and privately. Really helpful info so will go and explore more.

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By *ensualMan
51 weeks ago

Sutton


"'A Dom' is a very catch all phrase, some will be suited to certain fetishes and others not. What is it your looking for? Are you wanting a sadist? A daddy dom? Maybe a pleasure dom?

I would recommend joining the specialist fetish website and start to look at some of the groups out there, figure out what your actually looking for and then go to some munches, then maybe some play events and see if it is what you want.

Also be very wary of 'Doms' on here, many claim to be but we had to explain what after care was the other day to an apparent experienced dom. "

This.

You have to do the work to understand what it is you are looking for in a Dominant. This is because the word "Dominant" is now an almost meaningless label. Like all labels it is a starting point for deeper exploration and discussion.

You also have to distinguish fantasy from reality which needs education. What are you realistically offering the Dominant?

Have a look at the usual recommended texts Jay Wiseman SM101, or "Screw The Roses Give Me the Thorns by Philip Miller and Molly Devon or other good books or podcasts or YouTube Evie Lupine.

I would only counsel that not all munches are equal and not all are safe havens. In all things you still need your wits about you.

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