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Couples - who does the admin?

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London

Particularly on here or apps like feeld? Does one half of the couple typically do all or most of the recruiting and talking to potentials? Or do you both equally contribute?

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By *andB130Couple
51 weeks ago

northampton

My wife leaves it to me.

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By *r K and Mrs LCouple
51 weeks ago

Leicester

Mainly myself (male half) to be honest..

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By *eniandMikeCouple
51 weeks ago

Edinburgh

We say on our profile that we take turns etc, and will sign of with J&M, M or J depending on who it is, and not to directly message us straight away! But still get the messages, “your ass looks amazing”, which I am more than happy to receive!!

M

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"My wife leaves it to me."

As a woman, I find this strange, I have things I need to see in the guy in terms of his sexual skill and general demeanor that my boyfriend just can't assess alone.

I get that we can meet and I can see then, but I guess I find pointless meets more pointless than some other people.

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"We say on our profile that we take turns etc, and will sign of with J&M, M or J depending on who it is, and not to directly message us straight away! But still get the messages, “your ass looks amazing”, which I am more than happy to receive!!

M "

I try to remember to do that but don't always.

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Mainly myself (male half) to be honest.."

When does Mrs L step in?

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By *oth0fusCouple
51 weeks ago

Dartford

Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say "

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
51 weeks ago

Northampton

Fabmin usually carried out by Mr WW

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By *k38Couple
51 weeks ago

Hartlepool

Female half on ours.

Hubby has his own profile but that mainly for him to read through forums

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By *ithereQCouple
51 weeks ago

Wigan

Jay usually leaves it to me that way I can choose who I like n he has the final say xx

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By *ore4fundevonCouple
51 weeks ago

West Devon

Day to day messaging etc mostly me (Mr) but as and when we are trying to plan a meet Mrs will get more involved and join in with the messaging.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
51 weeks ago

Northampton


"Particularly on here or apps like feeld? Does one half of the couple typically do all or most of the recruiting and talking to potentials? Or do you both equally contribute?"

I (Jack) do almost all of it. I'll show Alice and photos to see if she's interested. On another site we use, I arrange it all and she seems them for the first time when they meet (which is part of the thrill for her).

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By *igboobstCouple
51 weeks ago

barrow

I Dan do most of the day to day fabmin, once we get close to a meet I tend to hand it over to T or it goes into a group chat on WhatsApp and we do it together. Been doing this for years now and it works for us.

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By *uncouple153Couple
51 weeks ago

Abergavenny

Mr is more active in searching.

We decide and answer messages together for the most part

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By *oth0fusCouple
51 weeks ago

Dartford


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?"

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

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By *wing2meCouple
51 weeks ago

Coventry

We're pretty 50 50 tbh, Mrs S has been on most the time lately but in messages we do usually state who is replying (unless the message is directed at just one of us)

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further."

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Particularly on here or apps like feeld? Does one half of the couple typically do all or most of the recruiting and talking to potentials? Or do you both equally contribute?

I (Jack) do almost all of it. I'll show Alice and photos to see if she's interested. On another site we use, I arrange it all and she seems them for the first time when they meet (which is part of the thrill for her)."

Are photos what determines her interest?

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By *ourisfunCouple
51 weeks ago

Central

It's mostly me (mrs) that does the admin on our profile, but hubby does occasionally send messages now. We would always agree on who to message etc beforehand though.

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By *oth0fusCouple
51 weeks ago

Dartford


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants."

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol"

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him?

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By *ro.blowTV/TS
51 weeks ago

Sunderland

Mostly the men imagine lol

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By *oth0fusCouple
51 weeks ago

Dartford


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him? "

Simple as how do you know until you are actually in bed with him?

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him?

Simple as how do you know until you are actually in bed with him? "

As an experienced shagger of men, some make it obvious that we aren't sexually compatible by what they say about sex (and other things) before we meet. I haven't had many terrible experiences with crap men and I think that's because I screen out the crap ones by talking to them beforehand.

I'd see no reason not to take the same approach with this so for me, its absolutely vital I actually interact with the guy or I'll likely end up taking one for the team with someone who isn't skilled in the ways I need.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
51 weeks ago

Northampton


"Particularly on here or apps like feeld? Does one half of the couple typically do all or most of the recruiting and talking to potentials? Or do you both equally contribute?

I (Jack) do almost all of it. I'll show Alice and photos to see if she's interested. On another site we use, I arrange it all and she seems them for the first time when they meet (which is part of the thrill for her).

Are photos what determines her interest? "

Not the only thing, no.

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By *oth0fusCouple
51 weeks ago

Dartford


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him?

Simple as how do you know until you are actually in bed with him?

As an experienced shagger of men, some make it obvious that we aren't sexually compatible by what they say about sex (and other things) before we meet. I haven't had many terrible experiences with crap men and I think that's because I screen out the crap ones by talking to them beforehand.

I'd see no reason not to take the same approach with this so for me, its absolutely vital I actually interact with the guy or I'll likely end up taking one for the team with someone who isn't skilled in the ways I need."

Bearing in mind how long we have been together I've always been her best and worse lol

We all have different reasons for being here and we are very new and I guess the way we do things may change in the future.

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By *ap-scarCouple
51 weeks ago

Sleaford

We both look through it. Sometimes we wink individually or send a message but we always talk to eachother about it....so essentially we both run it.

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him?

Simple as how do you know until you are actually in bed with him?

As an experienced shagger of men, some make it obvious that we aren't sexually compatible by what they say about sex (and other things) before we meet. I haven't had many terrible experiences with crap men and I think that's because I screen out the crap ones by talking to them beforehand.

I'd see no reason not to take the same approach with this so for me, its absolutely vital I actually interact with the guy or I'll likely end up taking one for the team with someone who isn't skilled in the ways I need.

Bearing in mind how long we have been together I've always been her best and worse lol

We all have different reasons for being here and we are very new and I guess the way we do things may change in the future. "

We are quite new, too. I guess I (maybe we, don't like to speak for him) have found it a little disconcerting when one half of the couple (usually the woman) isn't contributing to the conversation.

There's the side of it where you can't tell if she's enthusiastically consenting, and also just as a woman, I wonder why she doesn't find it important to ask questions that might let her know if she's going to.have a good time with us.

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By *oth0fusCouple
51 weeks ago

Dartford


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him?

Simple as how do you know until you are actually in bed with him?

As an experienced shagger of men, some make it obvious that we aren't sexually compatible by what they say about sex (and other things) before we meet. I haven't had many terrible experiences with crap men and I think that's because I screen out the crap ones by talking to them beforehand.

I'd see no reason not to take the same approach with this so for me, its absolutely vital I actually interact with the guy or I'll likely end up taking one for the team with someone who isn't skilled in the ways I need.

Bearing in mind how long we have been together I've always been her best and worse lol

We all have different reasons for being here and we are very new and I guess the way we do things may change in the future.

We are quite new, too. I guess I (maybe we, don't like to speak for him) have found it a little disconcerting when one half of the couple (usually the woman) isn't contributing to the conversation.

There's the side of it where you can't tell if she's enthusiastically consenting, and also just as a woman, I wonder why she doesn't find it important to ask questions that might let her know if she's going to.have a good time with us."

You don't need to understand? You are pretty much saying your way is the right way and everyone else is wrong. In this situation we would not move forward on getting to know each other, which is perfectly acceptable.

Our way works for us and yours for you. I would not ever consider suggesting your way is wrong.

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him?

Simple as how do you know until you are actually in bed with him?

As an experienced shagger of men, some make it obvious that we aren't sexually compatible by what they say about sex (and other things) before we meet. I haven't had many terrible experiences with crap men and I think that's because I screen out the crap ones by talking to them beforehand.

I'd see no reason not to take the same approach with this so for me, its absolutely vital I actually interact with the guy or I'll likely end up taking one for the team with someone who isn't skilled in the ways I need.

Bearing in mind how long we have been together I've always been her best and worse lol

We all have different reasons for being here and we are very new and I guess the way we do things may change in the future.

We are quite new, too. I guess I (maybe we, don't like to speak for him) have found it a little disconcerting when one half of the couple (usually the woman) isn't contributing to the conversation.

There's the side of it where you can't tell if she's enthusiastically consenting, and also just as a woman, I wonder why she doesn't find it important to ask questions that might let her know if she's going to.have a good time with us.

You don't need to understand? You are pretty much saying your way is the right way and everyone else is wrong. In this situation we would not move forward on getting to know each other, which is perfectly acceptable.

Our way works for us and yours for you. I would not ever consider suggesting your way is wrong."

Well, I'm asking because my automatic assumption is that the woman is being coerced and that's why it doesn't matter who then person is because she doesn't really want to be there.

I'm asking these questions so I may stop just assuming that these people are just single guys posing as a couple or guys who have coerced their wife into taking part.

These people contact us, and then we end up rejecting them because their wife (occasionally the guy) just can't seem to show that they are going to be an enthusiastic participant in any way.

I do wonder why someone who wants to do this feels it unnecessary to contribute to finding worthy sexual partners.

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By *oth0fusCouple
51 weeks ago

Dartford


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him?

Simple as how do you know until you are actually in bed with him?

As an experienced shagger of men, some make it obvious that we aren't sexually compatible by what they say about sex (and other things) before we meet. I haven't had many terrible experiences with crap men and I think that's because I screen out the crap ones by talking to them beforehand.

I'd see no reason not to take the same approach with this so for me, its absolutely vital I actually interact with the guy or I'll likely end up taking one for the team with someone who isn't skilled in the ways I need.

Bearing in mind how long we have been together I've always been her best and worse lol

We all have different reasons for being here and we are very new and I guess the way we do things may change in the future.

We are quite new, too. I guess I (maybe we, don't like to speak for him) have found it a little disconcerting when one half of the couple (usually the woman) isn't contributing to the conversation.

There's the side of it where you can't tell if she's enthusiastically consenting, and also just as a woman, I wonder why she doesn't find it important to ask questions that might let her know if she's going to.have a good time with us.

You don't need to understand? You are pretty much saying your way is the right way and everyone else is wrong. In this situation we would not move forward on getting to know each other, which is perfectly acceptable.

Our way works for us and yours for you. I would not ever consider suggesting your way is wrong.

Well, I'm asking because my automatic assumption is that the woman is being coerced and that's why it doesn't matter who then person is because she doesn't really want to be there.

I'm asking these questions so I may stop just assuming that these people are just single guys posing as a couple or guys who have coerced their wife into taking part.

These people contact us, and then we end up rejecting them because their wife (occasionally the guy) just can't seem to show that they are going to be an enthusiastic participant in any way.

I do wonder why someone who wants to do this feels it unnecessary to contribute to finding worthy sexual partners."

Unfortunately I can only answer for us, she is 100% on board and not coerced, she just does not enjoy being on this site talking to (let's be honest) 90% of idiots.

Sarah genuinely trusts my judgement. Noone that i thought was not right would go anywhere near her and if she did not feel right on the meet it would not happen.

We are not looking for couples really so don't have the same concerns as you. I am yet to find a female or couple pretending to be a man lol

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By *eaSlutsCouple
51 weeks ago

Glasgow

I generally do most of the Fabmin for us but A does check the account on a regular basis too

C x

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By *MandMMCouple
51 weeks ago

Welwyn garden city

I (the man) do the fabmin. She tried to do it, but doesn't have the patience to deal with all the crap you get from the wannabes. But, once we find some genuine that has similar interests, then we both chat. Normally taking it to WhatsApp group chat, so we know everyone is on board.

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By *ickylouCouple
51 weeks ago

Bi

Vicky leaves it to me also.

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By *iniskirtCouple
51 weeks ago

Paisley

Mrs here does most if not all the admin here, that’s because hubby says I type faster and that I am normally the one people want to talk to so I should have the (final) say in it x

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By *oreAgainForeverCouple
51 weeks ago

doncaster

started off with me (mr) doing it all then D got into it and probably does more than my self now

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By *ewbfbcplCouple
51 weeks ago

Reading

Male does it all here, but everything is checked and run past female. Helps that I’m away on my own all week so can do the sorting. She prefers that I do it, as I don’t think we’d still be doing it if she dealt with some of the messages and time wasters we get

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By *randMrs397Couple
51 weeks ago

durham

Mainly me (Mr) but Mrs reads everything then discussed ones of interest then will message

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him? "

OP most blokes on here are going to say they are highly skilled, good in bed etc. unlikely they will say otherwise!

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By *lik and PaulCouple
51 weeks ago

cahoots

We both handle messages and post on the forums.

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By *pankingNorfolkCouple
51 weeks ago

Norwichish

I do most of the posting. M agrees on what we post. And she replies to the occasional message.

She has login so can see all that is said and goes on in the account.

Mr

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By *nusualpairCouple
51 weeks ago

Preston

We like to share

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him?

OP most blokes on here are going to say they are highly skilled, good in bed etc. unlikely they will say otherwise!"

You don't ask them if they are good in bed, you talk about sex and related subjects, and from that, you start to see red flags for things that you know don't mesh with you from previous experience.

I'm not new to finding male partners for casual sex. I am newer to doing it as part of a couple.

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By *RWoodyCouple
51 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

I'd say 95% (maybe more) it's me, J, the Mrs side of us that's on here. R is on with me now and then but he's either normally too busy with/at/away with work. He's not massively into the forums whereas I like to have fun/keep in touch with others. We do though, when the chance arises, sometimes like to come on together.

J&R x.

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By *onynickiCouple
51 weeks ago

Bournemouth


"We say on our profile that we take turns etc, and will sign of with J&M, M or J depending on who it is, and not to directly message us straight away! But still get the messages, “your ass looks amazing”, which I am more than happy to receive!!

M "

Pretty much the same. Tony most of the time, me when I can

Sign off to show who’s on

Nicki

Xxx

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By *lecom1Couple
51 weeks ago

Stornoway

I do it in the UK and she does it in Japan. Mainly as both of us are very slow writing in each others language

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants."

How are you measuring how good anyone is online? Same goes for skilled.

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By *tarkersandcrutchCouple
51 weeks ago

TELFORD

Steve reads and monitors messages. Shaz gets involved if we arrange meets. She always has the last say.

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By *hloe_TTV/TS
51 weeks ago

Nottingham

Chat to the male halfs mostly it seems. But most of them seem to do it together one way or another x

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

How are you measuring how good anyone is online? Same goes for skilled.

"

Talking about sex and related subjects. The way someone talks about sex, what they like to do, what motivates them, any kinks or fetishes that they have. That conversation can tell you a lot about how compatible you're likely to be with the person you're about to fuck.

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By *eyeYCouple
51 weeks ago

Nr Leicester

Honestly, it's mostly D. He is far more intuitive than I, regards gauging people. Whether here or in person and sometimes after we've played. L

This is not to be mistaken with me doing as I'm told, I just trust in his assessment, which has been right far more than wrong..

Sometimes he's said something doesn't feel balanced with a couple or our interactions with a person, without prejudice and their subsequent behaviour has proven him right in my eyes..

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By *8ddCouple
51 weeks ago

xxxxx

Both

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago


"Particularly on here or apps like feeld? Does one half of the couple typically do all or most of the recruiting and talking to potentials? Or do you both equally contribute?

"
on my experience it is all men with an invisible imagination an ability to make themselves believe that they have a gf ffs

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
51 weeks ago

Leeds

It's usually me (Mrs) that replies to the messages & winks etc however we are both very active on here, both on the forums and both agree before messaging anyone.

Mrs

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By *SCouple81Couple
51 weeks ago

Between Edinburgh and Scottish Borders

Mrs is replying to messages and winks and I am keeping eye on the forum

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By *ilth N KinkCouple
51 weeks ago

Gloucester

We both do.

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By *ice_couple2012Couple
51 weeks ago

Leicester

We share the admin fairly equally. We both screen new messages and winks but Mrs invariably does any follow up messaging with single guys and I (Mr) usually but not always message couples. However we both look at everything the other has posted.

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago

Usually Mr B takes care of it all

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By *luebellRacerCouple
51 weeks ago

Shropshire

Mr does the day to day fabmin, Mrs is the creative one who sorts the pictures

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

How are you measuring how good anyone is online? Same goes for skilled.

Talking about sex and related subjects. The way someone talks about sex, what they like to do, what motivates them, any kinks or fetishes that they have. That conversation can tell you a lot about how compatible you're likely to be with the person you're about to fuck.

"

Ahh right so your measure is of compatibility not skills and how good they are. Anyone can tell you they’re brilliant but you’d never truly know until you’re in person with them. Plenty have found those who says they are long stayers and repeaters, for example, who last two minutes.

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By *rozac_fairyCouple
51 weeks ago

Birmingham

It's a mix.. alot of the general fabmin is left to me (Ms) I usually get the bulk done whilst Mr is at work. But he jumps on and has a look, reads forums, does agew messages sometimes etc.

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By *S-cardiffiansCouple
51 weeks ago

cardiff

Nearly always me (Mrs) but when I find a couple I would like to meet I get Mr involved to see if we on the same page x

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By *alsam1Couple
51 weeks ago

Caister

Mostly the Mr. He chats and finds out if the person/s will work out then moves us to kik where we have a group chat with all involved x

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By *asques and boxersCouple
51 weeks ago

Ashford and dept16

Mr until there is something more than just chat. Less blah blah more action.

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By *uncouplerk40Couple
51 weeks ago

TD

We share it x depends who’s feeling it tbh

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By *archelCouple
51 weeks ago

A field somewhere

Both come on the account, but it's mainly me who does the talking on pm's as I'm a fussy bitch lol

Mrs

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
51 weeks ago

Lincoln

Me. But then I also do the majority of shitposting and attention-whoring She generally appears when a hot lady slides into our inbox though

LvM

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By *adja_lazloCouple
51 weeks ago

Solihull


"Particularly on here or apps like feeld? Does one half of the couple typically do all or most of the recruiting and talking to potentials? Or do you both equally contribute?

"

Both, but Kerry has the final say

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By *ie n MashCouple
51 weeks ago

Back in Malice

Me (Male), although Pie is taking a far keener interest in sending her own replies recently.

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By *reen as JadeCouple
51 weeks ago

Cheshire

I do all the hard work and show Luke some that I like and will interest us both. X

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By *allwelshcoupleCouple
51 weeks ago

Cwmbran


"Day to day messaging etc mostly me (Mr) but as and when we are trying to plan a meet Mrs will get more involved and join in with the messaging. "

This sounds like our kind of thing.

Mr does the intros etc finds out if guys are interested then Mrs becomes involved and finds out if she's interested in them.

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By *chillboysCouple (MM)
51 weeks ago

warwick

We both do - randomly log on and check messages/reply and chat to each other about them aha. Waiting for the nod

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By *scouple07Couple
51 weeks ago

louth, Ireland

Mr does the general upkeep of the profile, but of we get any messages we both look at it and respond

If we are looking for potential opportunities we both look and see what we both like

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By *oxy jWoman
51 weeks ago

taunton somerset

we both do on our joint profile i do my profile cuck does his profile but over all we are both very involved as it should be with couples ... the only thing that is all down to me is whom we/ i meet as he is cuck ... but if for any reason he did not want me to meet someone then i would not ... i think in 30 years thats been 1 guy.

people do their profiles their own way that of course is right for them but depending on how much its male led its a turn off for us to the point that we for years now no longer meet male led couples its always been a thorn when the woman is just not interested and then those we did meet in the early days always felt like shes doing it just to shut him up .... and then theirs the can i meet buy dont tell my mrs and theirs lots of them and real couples too that we know or have seen in clubs (dont get me started on male halfs of couples behaviour in clubs) add into that the very ;arge chunk of men pretending to be couples or men who keep couples profiles going after splitting and then the non real couples like fb/fwb who are nothing like real couples and never will be its a mine field for real couples who are very 50/50 looking for other real 50/50 couples ...

this is of course just our opinion other will differ but from the 100s of couples we know all said above is things they all moan about..... if you a couple who really want to swing as a couple then be a 50/50 couple when talking and seeking it makes thing so much easier

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"we both do on our joint profile i do my profile cuck does his profile but over all we are both very involved as it should be with couples ... the only thing that is all down to me is whom we/ i meet as he is cuck ... but if for any reason he did not want me to meet someone then i would not ... i think in 30 years thats been 1 guy.

people do their profiles their own way that of course is right for them but depending on how much its male led its a turn off for us to the point that we for years now no longer meet male led couples its always been a thorn when the woman is just not interested and then those we did meet in the early days always felt like shes doing it just to shut him up .... and then theirs the can i meet buy dont tell my mrs and theirs lots of them and real couples too that we know or have seen in clubs (dont get me started on male halfs of couples behaviour in clubs) add into that the very ;arge chunk of men pretending to be couples or men who keep couples profiles going after splitting and then the non real couples like fb/fwb who are nothing like real couples and never will be its a mine field for real couples who are very 50/50 looking for other real 50/50 couples ...

this is of course just our opinion other will differ but from the 100s of couples we know all said above is things they all moan about..... if you a couple who really want to swing as a couple then be a 50/50 couple when talking and seeking it makes thing so much easier "

I agree.

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By *errykezmasCouple
51 weeks ago

Telford

I do most of it and kez looks over it, but nothing happens without her say so or involvement. She runs the show really

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
51 weeks ago

Stockport

Mr runs ours

It started with Mrs, then the pair of us

Now Mr does the fabmin

He soon was told that profiles are there to be read

Don't stop at the first pic , check them all !

Then he was trained to become a cock spotter

Comments like , that's not coming near me , means he now has to check both the guys and the ladies

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By *ocialWatchingMan
51 weeks ago

Alnwick / Newcastle

The males going to protect their gf/wife, there are some creeps on here like

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"The males going to protect their gf/wife, there are some creeps on here like "

Unless the guy also has experience of screening potential male sexual partners for dangerous vibes, women have a lot more knowledge of red flags in guys

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By *orl1971Couple
51 weeks ago

Glasgow

Mr does most of the admin. Why ?

1. It protects the Mrs from some of the downright strange messages you get from some guys

2. I can whittle down approaches to guys or couples I believe we will like without her getting bored trawling through the rubbish

3. We can minimise the online chat so that we can get to a social only meet without weeks of sex chat. Single guys don’t try as much sexy chat when they know it’s the Mr handling admin

It shouldn’t really matter who is doing the admin to other couples if the couple has some genuine verifications and will do a social meet. Our experience is face to face meets prove everyone is genuine and you can check how ‘into it’ everyone is in person.

Writing off profiles as fake or coercive just because the guy admins is jumping to conclusions. Check all the evidence before you decide.

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By *lym4realCouple
51 weeks ago

plymouth

Mr4 mainly does as he has more freetime but it's then 100% upto Mrs4 if we meet up and when we meet up ..xxx

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By *WeePurpleDragon.Couple
51 weeks ago

East Lothian

Wife does everything. Both look through messages and replies. Wife loves and does chat rooms love the chat rooms love a chin wag

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago

Paul here. Louise poses. She loves to see tributes.

When we’re on cam it’s obvs both of us.

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By *ixenFoxCouple
51 weeks ago

Glasgow

We only reply to messages when we're together, hence the reason we always have a bit of backlog

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By *ubmissive Cuckold CoupleCouple
51 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I start shortlisting the wife picks

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By *olfandtazCouple
51 weeks ago

Bristol

It's normally me (wolf) who does the admin on here

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By *rK MrsJCouple
51 weeks ago

Kidderminster


"Mainly myself (male half) to be honest.."

Same here

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By *oxy jWoman
51 weeks ago

taunton somerset

those saying it protects the women ?? how does it if you sorting all the nasty abusive crap how does she ever get to understand the dark side of swinging not only that alot of men (not all) are just control freaks who mask it as ''doing good'' example by controlling the account they make sure that they chuck out all those they see as a threat like hot body bigger cock its all down to control see this in clubs sometimes when the woman picks a hot guy and then he sits the all night with the mush or has a blazing argument .....

not only that 2 minds will sort out the rubbish far better than one and by hiding the rubbish side of the scene means mrs never gets to see this therefore never really understands what goes on therefore shes the one thats always being controlled ..... if the mrs is not interested enought not to be involved right from the beginning then alot of couples will take that as not interested

this is only my opinion as to why we avoid male led couples how you do things is correctly down to yourselves ...

happy swinging new year

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By *orl1971Couple
51 weeks ago

Glasgow


"those saying it protects the women ?? how does it if you sorting all the nasty abusive crap how does she ever get to understand the dark side of swinging not only that alot of men (not all) are just control freaks who mask it as ''doing good'' example by controlling the account they make sure that they chuck out all those they see as a threat like hot body bigger cock its all down to control see this in clubs sometimes when the woman picks a hot guy and then he sits the all night with the mush or has a blazing argument .....

not only that 2 minds will sort out the rubbish far better than one and by hiding the rubbish side of the scene means mrs never gets to see this therefore never really understands what goes on therefore shes the one thats always being controlled ..... if the mrs is not interested enought not to be involved right from the beginning then alot of couples will take that as not interested

this is only my opinion as to why we avoid male led couples how you do things is correctly down to yourselves ...

happy swinging new year"

In our case Mrs has already seen the type of messages you can get on Fab. She just chooses not to have to trawl through them because she has someone who can do that for her.

There’s certainly no ‘controlling guy’ here. Mrs has met hot guys with big dicks.

Would you say women who admin accounts are controlling and filtering out the hot girls with big breasts so their partner doesn’t see them ?

Everyone has their own way of working through the site. We choose not to judge people because their approach is not the same as ours. We don’t assume the worst because we happen to be talking to the guy from a couple. We chat, meet face to face and decide.

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By *rpeggioCouple
51 weeks ago

Baughurst


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him?

OP most blokes on here are going to say they are highly skilled, good in bed etc. unlikely they will say otherwise!

You don't ask them if they are good in bed, you talk about sex and related subjects, and from that, you start to see red flags for things that you know don't mesh with you from previous experience.

I'm not new to finding male partners for casual sex. I am newer to doing it as part of a couple."

__

I guess your system works for you and anyone else who is focused on funding a guy with sexual skills. You have never mentioned how your partner figures out the sexual skills of the woman. For us, it is more about compatibility with the couple overall. You may consider that sex skills in the other couple is not the top priority for every swinger here. People who are nice, considerate, patient and with a mature attitude to swinging may be important for other people.

I do all the admin (Mr). Looking at your profile, you'd be a red flag straight away for us, with no verifications and particularly if you start asking questions about sexual skills (typically fake couples profiles do that). I do not engage in such conversations. We have a social first to determine compatibility. If at the social Lena likes the guy and I like the woman, and they both like us, then we move to stage 2. Simple.

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By *rpeggioCouple
51 weeks ago

Baughurst


"those saying it protects the women ?? how does it if you sorting all the nasty abusive crap how does she ever get to understand the dark side of swinging not only that alot of men (not all) are just control freaks who mask it as ''doing good'' example by controlling the account they make sure that they chuck out all those they see as a threat like hot body bigger cock its all down to control see this in clubs sometimes when the woman picks a hot guy and then he sits the all night with the mush or has a blazing argument .....

not only that 2 minds will sort out the rubbish far better than one and by hiding the rubbish side of the scene means mrs never gets to see this therefore never really understands what goes on therefore shes the one thats always being controlled ..... if the mrs is not interested enought not to be involved right from the beginning then alot of couples will take that as not interested

this is only my opinion as to why we avoid male led couples how you do things is correctly down to yourselves ...

happy swinging new year

In our case Mrs has already seen the type of messages you can get on Fab. She just chooses not to have to trawl through them because she has someone who can do that for her.

There’s certainly no ‘controlling guy’ here. Mrs has met hot guys with big dicks.

Would you say women who admin accounts are controlling and filtering out the hot girls with big breasts so their partner doesn’t see them ?

Everyone has their own way of working through the site. We choose not to judge people because their approach is not the same as ours. We don’t assume the worst because we happen to be talking to the guy from a couple. We chat, meet face to face and decide. "

__

Totally this

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
51 weeks ago

Coventry

We rarely use fab to find new people or make arrangements to meet. We are very much Club/party swingers of opportunity. Don't really like the online world for meeting new people.

Our Fabmin is predominantly done by Mr. He enjoys the forums and looks out for news on parties and events we'd like to go for. As for messaging people we kind of have to both be in the mood to do the messages and verifications etc, so there's normally a time delay until we are in the right mood.

Ironically tonight we are out for a couple of drinks and have put out for meet on Fab. Which is very rare indeed and always very much a join effort fabmin wise. Generally any fabmin regarding setting up meets or introducing ourselves to new people is a joint effort.

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Mr does most of the admin. Why ?

1. It protects the Mrs from some of the downright strange messages you get from some guys

2. I can whittle down approaches to guys or couples I believe we will like without her getting bored trawling through the rubbish

3. We can minimise the online chat so that we can get to a social only meet without weeks of sex chat. Single guys don’t try as much sexy chat when they know it’s the Mr handling admin

It shouldn’t really matter who is doing the admin to other couples if the couple has some genuine verifications and will do a social meet. Our experience is face to face meets prove everyone is genuine and you can check how ‘into it’ everyone is in person.

Writing off profiles as fake or coercive just because the guy admins is jumping to conclusions. Check all the evidence before you decide. "

The risk is too high. Its easier to find People who can show their enthusiasm from the outset rather than gamble on a meet with a reluctant wife.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
51 weeks ago

Neath valley.

I do most of the admin. But if I find or chat to potential meets we decide between us both.

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"those saying it protects the women ?? how does it if you sorting all the nasty abusive crap how does she ever get to understand the dark side of swinging not only that alot of men (not all) are just control freaks who mask it as ''doing good'' example by controlling the account they make sure that they chuck out all those they see as a threat like hot body bigger cock its all down to control see this in clubs sometimes when the woman picks a hot guy and then he sits the all night with the mush or has a blazing argument .....

not only that 2 minds will sort out the rubbish far better than one and by hiding the rubbish side of the scene means mrs never gets to see this therefore never really understands what goes on therefore shes the one thats always being controlled ..... if the mrs is not interested enought not to be involved right from the beginning then alot of couples will take that as not interested

this is only my opinion as to why we avoid male led couples how you do things is correctly down to yourselves ...

happy swinging new year

In our case Mrs has already seen the type of messages you can get on Fab. She just chooses not to have to trawl through them because she has someone who can do that for her.

There’s certainly no ‘controlling guy’ here. Mrs has met hot guys with big dicks.

Would you say women who admin accounts are controlling and filtering out the hot girls with big breasts so their partner doesn’t see them ?

Everyone has their own way of working through the site. We choose not to judge people because their approach is not the same as ours. We don’t assume the worst because we happen to be talking to the guy from a couple. We chat, meet face to face and decide. "

I have experienced one couple where the woman did the majority of the chatting and I felt the same. I was less concerned about him being coerced, admittedly, but had little interest in gambling on a meet with a guy who couldn't even have a conversation about what we might do.

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By *orl1971Couple
51 weeks ago

Glasgow


"Mr does most of the admin. Why ?

1. It protects the Mrs from some of the downright strange messages you get from some guys

2. I can whittle down approaches to guys or couples I believe we will like without her getting bored trawling through the rubbish

3. We can minimise the online chat so that we can get to a social only meet without weeks of sex chat. Single guys don’t try as much sexy chat when they know it’s the Mr handling admin

It shouldn’t really matter who is doing the admin to other couples if the couple has some genuine verifications and will do a social meet. Our experience is face to face meets prove everyone is genuine and you can check how ‘into it’ everyone is in person.

Writing off profiles as fake or coercive just because the guy admins is jumping to conclusions. Check all the evidence before you decide.

The risk is too high. It’s easier to find People who can show their enthusiasm from the outset rather than gamble on a meet with a reluctant wife."

OP how many meets have you had where the wife is reluctant and couldn’t the guy just pretend to be the wife if you are only messaging via Fab ?

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By *hastityPleasureGiverMan
51 weeks ago

Rotherham

For both my cuckold relationships my gf did all the admin they decided who and when she met her bulls

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Mr does most of the admin. Why ?

1. It protects the Mrs from some of the downright strange messages you get from some guys

2. I can whittle down approaches to guys or couples I believe we will like without her getting bored trawling through the rubbish

3. We can minimise the online chat so that we can get to a social only meet without weeks of sex chat. Single guys don’t try as much sexy chat when they know it’s the Mr handling admin

It shouldn’t really matter who is doing the admin to other couples if the couple has some genuine verifications and will do a social meet. Our experience is face to face meets prove everyone is genuine and you can check how ‘into it’ everyone is in person.

Writing off profiles as fake or coercive just because the guy admins is jumping to conclusions. Check all the evidence before you decide.

The risk is too high. It’s easier to find People who can show their enthusiasm from the outset rather than gamble on a meet with a reluctant wife.

OP how many meets have you had where the wife is reluctant and couldn’t the guy just pretend to be the wife if you are only messaging via Fab ? "

We don't only message via Fab. We typically move off of here or a dating app to WhatsApp.

We only meet people who show the interest we are looking for so never get to meet point with someone who hasn't shown that enthusiasm.

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London

[Removed by poster at 01/01/24 16:41:57]

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By *ykoCouple
51 weeks ago

york

I do most of the stuff on fabs as wife doesn't like been online but we both see any messages that we like and then decide if we want to take thing's further but with not meeting at the moment just check up on any messages that we get.

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
51 weeks ago

Bristol

I post a lot of pics and often comment in the forums but I usually leave the inbox to Mr initially. We do both read messages though and decide how we want to reply. What has surprised us is we gave spoken to some couples on here who we have then met in clubs and quickly realised on partner has no clue who we are because the other one does all the fabmin and they seemingly havent looked at messagea/pics. Led to some very awkward situations.

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By *ouplewithKinks23Couple
51 weeks ago

Walsall

For us G (m half) does most of the Admin, but Sazz has full access and sees all that gets posted, said etc.

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By *oxy jWoman
51 weeks ago

taunton somerset

and to be totally fair we have met a couple where the mrs controlled the account and everything and it was a disaster the guy clearly had zero interest so yes a fem lked can be the same its why we only bother with couples who both are involved right from the begining..

and yes everyone must do what they feel is right ... i dont judge i just know the chances of it not being right when its a male led couple so i/we dont bother of course there will be good male led but years on the scene have taught me that its deffo the minority so rather than worry about meeting coouples on fab we simply dont we meet our swinging friends and all there private parties and we do a club once a month where ever we are in the country ... we only use fab for guys and to be honest thats rare as the little black book of reliable guys is full + i/we have regular guys too..

online is becoming less and less for alot of swingers as the private party scene grows

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By *uger n Spice78Couple
51 weeks ago

South East Coast

I Suger, run the account Spice does read the messages tho

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By *irky_coupleCouple
51 weeks ago

kirky

Mainly me (Mr) doing the day to day stuff as she can't be on her phone at work but she always reads the messages when she can and will jump in when she fancies it. Always amazing how many couples or single ladies message us,the chat gets away from basic stuff and as soon as they find out it's the male then it's radio silence.

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By *arryandhedgehogCouple
51 weeks ago

Thurrock

Harry does most of the activity on our account hedgehog will check in and catch up on messages but gets more involved when meets are being planned and we move the chat to other platforms

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago

Mrs will be messaging, Mr will just browse

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By *kyblue1878Couple
51 weeks ago

Southport

Always Mr initially as it's a way to filter the rubbish that is sometimes sent. Anything that passes the initial filter is shared with Mrs for her consideration.

If it's us sending the first message then we'll discuss together before typing a message out.

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By *ikingpairCouple
51 weeks ago

Cambridge

I (Mr) tend to make initial contact or response, but leave Mrs to make arrangements if all is well.

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By *inks_apeyCouple
51 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I do most of the fabmin, kinks gets involved when she's on and the messages interest her, or she needs to say/do something. As for feel app, never heard of it

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By *ovienightCouple
51 weeks ago

Cardiff

We both contribute, depends on what’s going on life wise, if one of us is busy the other does tend to pick up the slack

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago

It's mainly Mr that does the admin here, as expressed in our bio.

That statement in our bio alone has cut down the amount of pointless (at least pointless to us) messages.

Mrs gave it a go, she enjoyed all the lovely pictures and compliments but it soon became too overwhelming for her.

I tend to pick up on red flags and compatibility much sooner than Mrs.

In addition to that, she comments regular that I choose and know her type better than she and so it works for us.

Mrs is never interested in talking sex, not even with me, though she fully enjoys hearing about it, and that's where we differ, I'm very expressive whereas she is not.

I'm happy to ask the questions, knowing what she wants to know and being able to converse it back to her much easier than she taking the reigns and struggling to ask for herself.

I'm a natural protector/nurturer and so more thorough in my questioning.

Here's the shocker for you, OP ....

Often, Mrs, by her own choice hasn't even seen a picture of the guy (we've only met solo men so far) before we meet, and again it works for us, I've not yet got it wrong and each time in the moment she's felt extra excited when first seeing him and feeling that instant attraction with the added knowledge of the purpose of where this is heading.

In short, I believe it comes down to her previous (abusive) relationship where he left her feeling worthless, unattractive and downright shit.

As a result, Mrs would skip by the guys that really catch her eye because she believes he's too good or won't find her appealing, and instead accept those offering flattering comments and holding not as much appeal to her, so she feels it's a safe option.

We've been working on building her back up and she's becoming a tower of strength now.

To help you understand OP, there are several personality types, with many different backgrounds, plus many differing kinks, and so what works for one may not work for another.

I agree though, sometimes it's questionable how into the scene the quieter one is, for us though, the more quite one online is the most active one in person.

For the Mrs, too much time to overthink, to over question can put her off.

Instead, I do the planning after she lets me know where her mindset is at, keeping her up to date as and when, and she can enjoy the spontaneity of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago

We both do. Mostly Mrs x

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By *otwife and MasterCouple
51 weeks ago

Derby


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him?

Simple as how do you know until you are actually in bed with him?

As an experienced shagger of men, some make it obvious that we aren't sexually compatible by what they say about sex (and other things) before we meet. I haven't had many terrible experiences with crap men and I think that's because I screen out the crap ones by talking to them beforehand.

I'd see no reason not to take the same approach with this so for me, its absolutely vital I actually interact with the guy or I'll likely end up taking one for the team with someone who isn't skilled in the ways I need.

Bearing in mind how long we have been together I've always been her best and worse lol

We all have different reasons for being here and we are very new and I guess the way we do things may change in the future.

We are quite new, too. I guess I (maybe we, don't like to speak for him) have found it a little disconcerting when one half of the couple (usually the woman) isn't contributing to the conversation.

There's the side of it where you can't tell if she's enthusiastically consenting, and also just as a woman, I wonder why she doesn't find it important to ask questions that might let her know if she's going to.have a good time with us.

You don't need to understand? You are pretty much saying your way is the right way and everyone else is wrong. In this situation we would not move forward on getting to know each other, which is perfectly acceptable.

Our way works for us and yours for you. I would not ever consider suggesting your way is wrong.

Well, I'm asking because my automatic assumption is that the woman is being coerced and that's why it doesn't matter who then person is because she doesn't really want to be there.

I'm asking these questions so I may stop just assuming that these people are just single guys posing as a couple or guys who have coerced their wife into taking part.

These people contact us, and then we end up rejecting them because their wife (occasionally the guy) just can't seem to show that they are going to be an enthusiastic participant in any way.

I do wonder why someone who wants to do this feels it unnecessary to contribute to finding worthy sexual partners."

You are making the huge assumption that everyone on here is like you. There are loads of different dynamics and kinks.

Mr does all the searching for us because he knows exactly what I like and part of the thrill for me is the anonymity. We are a dom/sub couple. The last thing I want to do is spend ages chatting to the guys we meet, I don’t need friends - not knowing them is exactly the thing that turns me on. I’m certainly not coerced!

Mrs

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"Same here male half does all the ground work. 1 trusts my judgement 2,she has the final say

But how can she make a final decision without interacting with the person who is going to fuck her?

Very easily you cannot make a final decision on someone from online interaction anyway.

I will spend the time to chat with people on here and rule out a high percentage of people.

The few that seem let's say nice and normal I will stay in touch with, letting them know our rules and limitations.

Once a meet is arranged, we will all meet up if one person is not feeling comfortable it will go no further.

I guess for me it's not just about them knowing rules and limitations, it's about wanting to know they are skilled, experienced, and generally mature by conversing with them before we arrange a meet.

I want good sexual partners, not just pretty participants.

We have been together since we were 15/16 years old.

I guess we both now each other very well I know what she would find appealing and not so, for both personality and looks.

It works for us, she does want to be on here dealing with the high number of plonkers lol

Like in the most basic way, how does she know the hot, nice guy is good in bed if she doesn't speak to him?

Simple as how do you know until you are actually in bed with him?

As an experienced shagger of men, some make it obvious that we aren't sexually compatible by what they say about sex (and other things) before we meet. I haven't had many terrible experiences with crap men and I think that's because I screen out the crap ones by talking to them beforehand.

I'd see no reason not to take the same approach with this so for me, its absolutely vital I actually interact with the guy or I'll likely end up taking one for the team with someone who isn't skilled in the ways I need.

Bearing in mind how long we have been together I've always been her best and worse lol

We all have different reasons for being here and we are very new and I guess the way we do things may change in the future.

We are quite new, too. I guess I (maybe we, don't like to speak for him) have found it a little disconcerting when one half of the couple (usually the woman) isn't contributing to the conversation.

There's the side of it where you can't tell if she's enthusiastically consenting, and also just as a woman, I wonder why she doesn't find it important to ask questions that might let her know if she's going to.have a good time with us.

You don't need to understand? You are pretty much saying your way is the right way and everyone else is wrong. In this situation we would not move forward on getting to know each other, which is perfectly acceptable.

Our way works for us and yours for you. I would not ever consider suggesting your way is wrong.

Well, I'm asking because my automatic assumption is that the woman is being coerced and that's why it doesn't matter who then person is because she doesn't really want to be there.

I'm asking these questions so I may stop just assuming that these people are just single guys posing as a couple or guys who have coerced their wife into taking part.

These people contact us, and then we end up rejecting them because their wife (occasionally the guy) just can't seem to show that they are going to be an enthusiastic participant in any way.

I do wonder why someone who wants to do this feels it unnecessary to contribute to finding worthy sexual partners.

You are making the huge assumption that everyone on here is like you. There are loads of different dynamics and kinks.

Mr does all the searching for us because he knows exactly what I like and part of the thrill for me is the anonymity. We are a dom/sub couple. The last thing I want to do is spend ages chatting to the guys we meet, I don’t need friends - not knowing them is exactly the thing that turns me on. I’m certainly not coerced!

Mrs "

There's a place for that. Most of these people here are totally vanilla. We also have a kink dynamic. This isn't why the women don't get involved, it's because they don't know enough about good sex to try and find a guy who actually knows what he is doing. As long as someone shows up, tells then they are pretty and can put their cock in a hole, that's sex to them. That's good sex to them.

I'm not seeking friends by any means, but I won't waste my time having shit sex with someone who doesn't know what they're doing. I've got higher standards than that

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"It's mainly Mr that does the admin here, as expressed in our bio.

That statement in our bio alone has cut down the amount of pointless (at least pointless to us) messages.

Mrs gave it a go, she enjoyed all the lovely pictures and compliments but it soon became too overwhelming for her.

I tend to pick up on red flags and compatibility much sooner than Mrs.

In addition to that, she comments regular that I choose and know her type better than she and so it works for us.

Mrs is never interested in talking sex, not even with me, though she fully enjoys hearing about it, and that's where we differ, I'm very expressive whereas she is not.

I'm happy to ask the questions, knowing what she wants to know and being able to converse it back to her much easier than she taking the reigns and struggling to ask for herself.

I'm a natural protector/nurturer and so more thorough in my questioning.

Here's the shocker for you, OP ....

Often, Mrs, by her own choice hasn't even seen a picture of the guy (we've only met solo men so far) before we meet, and again it works for us, I've not yet got it wrong and each time in the moment she's felt extra excited when first seeing him and feeling that instant attraction with the added knowledge of the purpose of where this is heading.

In short, I believe it comes down to her previous (abusive) relationship where he left her feeling worthless, unattractive and downright shit.

As a result, Mrs would skip by the guys that really catch her eye because she believes he's too good or won't find her appealing, and instead accept those offering flattering comments and holding not as much appeal to her, so she feels it's a safe option.

We've been working on building her back up and she's becoming a tower of strength now.

To help you understand OP, there are several personality types, with many different backgrounds, plus many differing kinks, and so what works for one may not work for another.

I agree though, sometimes it's questionable how into the scene the quieter one is, for us though, the more quite one online is the most active one in person.

For the Mrs, too much time to overthink, to over question can put her off.

Instead, I do the planning after she lets me know where her mindset is at, keeping her up to date as and when, and she can enjoy the spontaneity of it.

"

I rarely look at pictures so not shocked at all. I'm shocked by the women who only need to look at a picture to decide whether someone is compatible enough for good sex.

This doesn't sound like a kink, it's just that your Mrs has no idea how to screen men for compatibility and doesn't have many independent sexual needs so literally anyone you bring will do. Women spend a lot more time dodging dangerous guys than men spend dodging dangerous guys so its extremely unlikely you know more than her about red flags in male dating/sexual partners.

What it tells us is that she will find it difficult to express what she does and doesn't want to do in a way that assures us of her consent and enthusiasm so we would pass you by and seek couples with women who are able to articulate for themselves.

If you presented this as some sort of kink thing where the people are anonymous and she's blindfolded or something, that wouldn't be a different conversation. That's not what is happening here though.

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago


"It's mainly Mr that does the admin here, as expressed in our bio.

That statement in our bio alone has cut down the amount of pointless (at least pointless to us) messages.

Mrs gave it a go, she enjoyed all the lovely pictures and compliments but it soon became too overwhelming for her.

I tend to pick up on red flags and compatibility much sooner than Mrs.

In addition to that, she comments regular that I choose and know her type better than she and so it works for us.

Mrs is never interested in talking sex, not even with me, though she fully enjoys hearing about it, and that's where we differ, I'm very expressive whereas she is not.

I'm happy to ask the questions, knowing what she wants to know and being able to converse it back to her much easier than she taking the reigns and struggling to ask for herself.

I'm a natural protector/nurturer and so more thorough in my questioning.

Here's the shocker for you, OP ....

Often, Mrs, by her own choice hasn't even seen a picture of the guy (we've only met solo men so far) before we meet, and again it works for us, I've not yet got it wrong and each time in the moment she's felt extra excited when first seeing him and feeling that instant attraction with the added knowledge of the purpose of where this is heading.

In short, I believe it comes down to her previous (abusive) relationship where he left her feeling worthless, unattractive and downright shit.

As a result, Mrs would skip by the guys that really catch her eye because she believes he's too good or won't find her appealing, and instead accept those offering flattering comments and holding not as much appeal to her, so she feels it's a safe option.

We've been working on building her back up and she's becoming a tower of strength now.

To help you understand OP, there are several personality types, with many different backgrounds, plus many differing kinks, and so what works for one may not work for another.

I agree though, sometimes it's questionable how into the scene the quieter one is, for us though, the more quite one online is the most active one in person.

For the Mrs, too much time to overthink, to over question can put her off.

Instead, I do the planning after she lets me know where her mindset is at, keeping her up to date as and when, and she can enjoy the spontaneity of it.

I rarely look at pictures so not shocked at all. I'm shocked by the women who only need to look at a picture to decide whether someone is compatible enough for good sex.

This doesn't sound like a kink, it's just that your Mrs has no idea how to screen men for compatibility and doesn't have many independent sexual needs so literally anyone you bring will do. Women spend a lot more time dodging dangerous guys than men spend dodging dangerous guys so its extremely unlikely you know more than her about red flags in male dating/sexual partners.

What it tells us is that she will find it difficult to express what she does and doesn't want to do in a way that assures us of her consent and enthusiasm so we would pass you by and seek couples with women who are able to articulate for themselves.

If you presented this as some sort of kink thing where the people are anonymous and she's blindfolded or something, that wouldn't be a different conversation. That's not what is happening here though.

"

Ah so your post wasn't to learn to understand why people may do things differently to you, it was to judge.

We'd pass you by also because you appear very closed minded.

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"It's mainly Mr that does the admin here, as expressed in our bio.

That statement in our bio alone has cut down the amount of pointless (at least pointless to us) messages.

Mrs gave it a go, she enjoyed all the lovely pictures and compliments but it soon became too overwhelming for her.

I tend to pick up on red flags and compatibility much sooner than Mrs.

In addition to that, she comments regular that I choose and know her type better than she and so it works for us.

Mrs is never interested in talking sex, not even with me, though she fully enjoys hearing about it, and that's where we differ, I'm very expressive whereas she is not.

I'm happy to ask the questions, knowing what she wants to know and being able to converse it back to her much easier than she taking the reigns and struggling to ask for herself.

I'm a natural protector/nurturer and so more thorough in my questioning.

Here's the shocker for you, OP ....

Often, Mrs, by her own choice hasn't even seen a picture of the guy (we've only met solo men so far) before we meet, and again it works for us, I've not yet got it wrong and each time in the moment she's felt extra excited when first seeing him and feeling that instant attraction with the added knowledge of the purpose of where this is heading.

In short, I believe it comes down to her previous (abusive) relationship where he left her feeling worthless, unattractive and downright shit.

As a result, Mrs would skip by the guys that really catch her eye because she believes he's too good or won't find her appealing, and instead accept those offering flattering comments and holding not as much appeal to her, so she feels it's a safe option.

We've been working on building her back up and she's becoming a tower of strength now.

To help you understand OP, there are several personality types, with many different backgrounds, plus many differing kinks, and so what works for one may not work for another.

I agree though, sometimes it's questionable how into the scene the quieter one is, for us though, the more quite one online is the most active one in person.

For the Mrs, too much time to overthink, to over question can put her off.

Instead, I do the planning after she lets me know where her mindset is at, keeping her up to date as and when, and she can enjoy the spontaneity of it.

I rarely look at pictures so not shocked at all. I'm shocked by the women who only need to look at a picture to decide whether someone is compatible enough for good sex.

This doesn't sound like a kink, it's just that your Mrs has no idea how to screen men for compatibility and doesn't have many independent sexual needs so literally anyone you bring will do. Women spend a lot more time dodging dangerous guys than men spend dodging dangerous guys so its extremely unlikely you know more than her about red flags in male dating/sexual partners.

What it tells us is that she will find it difficult to express what she does and doesn't want to do in a way that assures us of her consent and enthusiasm so we would pass you by and seek couples with women who are able to articulate for themselves.

If you presented this as some sort of kink thing where the people are anonymous and she's blindfolded or something, that wouldn't be a different conversation. That's not what is happening here though.

Ah so your post wasn't to learn to understand why people may do things differently to you, it was to judge.

We'd pass you by also because you appear very closed minded. "

Well it was to understand, and you told me pretty much what I assumed: at least these are women with a history of trauma and low self esteem and that sullied their ability to advocate for themselves with potential sexual partners. You confirmed that with own partner.

The risk of pursuing a couple like that is that you end up having sex with someone and that ultimately harms them, becsuse its unwanted and they felt pressured into relenting to it. That's too big of a risk to take. The consequences for all parties are too steep.

For that reason, it's best and safest to seek someone who has the wherewithal to communicate with the people they're planning to have sex with and express their desires and limits independently.

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By *osh bitch n hornyCouple
51 weeks ago

Warrington

I do the looking and answering of messages but if anyone takes our fancy I show posh and we both decide.

Paul

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By *ee And MikeCouple
51 weeks ago

Cannock

As the cuck in our relationship I tend to deal with all the admin and answer messages, vet potential bulls, etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
51 weeks ago


"It's mainly Mr that does the admin here, as expressed in our bio.

That statement in our bio alone has cut down the amount of pointless (at least pointless to us) messages.

Mrs gave it a go, she enjoyed all the lovely pictures and compliments but it soon became too overwhelming for her.

I tend to pick up on red flags and compatibility much sooner than Mrs.

In addition to that, she comments regular that I choose and know her type better than she and so it works for us.

Mrs is never interested in talking sex, not even with me, though she fully enjoys hearing about it, and that's where we differ, I'm very expressive whereas she is not.

I'm happy to ask the questions, knowing what she wants to know and being able to converse it back to her much easier than she taking the reigns and struggling to ask for herself.

I'm a natural protector/nurturer and so more thorough in my questioning.

Here's the shocker for you, OP ....

Often, Mrs, by her own choice hasn't even seen a picture of the guy (we've only met solo men so far) before we meet, and again it works for us, I've not yet got it wrong and each time in the moment she's felt extra excited when first seeing him and feeling that instant attraction with the added knowledge of the purpose of where this is heading.

In short, I believe it comes down to her previous (abusive) relationship where he left her feeling worthless, unattractive and downright shit.

As a result, Mrs would skip by the guys that really catch her eye because she believes he's too good or won't find her appealing, and instead accept those offering flattering comments and holding not as much appeal to her, so she feels it's a safe option.

We've been working on building her back up and she's becoming a tower of strength now.

To help you understand OP, there are several personality types, with many different backgrounds, plus many differing kinks, and so what works for one may not work for another.

I agree though, sometimes it's questionable how into the scene the quieter one is, for us though, the more quite one online is the most active one in person.

For the Mrs, too much time to overthink, to over question can put her off.

Instead, I do the planning after she lets me know where her mindset is at, keeping her up to date as and when, and she can enjoy the spontaneity of it.

I rarely look at pictures so not shocked at all. I'm shocked by the women who only need to look at a picture to decide whether someone is compatible enough for good sex.

This doesn't sound like a kink, it's just that your Mrs has no idea how to screen men for compatibility and doesn't have many independent sexual needs so literally anyone you bring will do. Women spend a lot more time dodging dangerous guys than men spend dodging dangerous guys so its extremely unlikely you know more than her about red flags in male dating/sexual partners.

What it tells us is that she will find it difficult to express what she does and doesn't want to do in a way that assures us of her consent and enthusiasm so we would pass you by and seek couples with women who are able to articulate for themselves.

If you presented this as some sort of kink thing where the people are anonymous and she's blindfolded or something, that wouldn't be a different conversation. That's not what is happening here though.

Ah so your post wasn't to learn to understand why people may do things differently to you, it was to judge.

We'd pass you by also because you appear very closed minded.

Well it was to understand, and you told me pretty much what I assumed: at least these are women with a history of trauma and low self esteem and that sullied their ability to advocate for themselves with potential sexual partners. You confirmed that with own partner.

The risk of pursuing a couple like that is that you end up having sex with someone and that ultimately harms them, becsuse its unwanted and they felt pressured into relenting to it. That's too big of a risk to take. The consequences for all parties are too steep.

For that reason, it's best and safest to seek someone who has the wherewithal to communicate with the people they're planning to have sex with and express their desires and limits independently.

"

Yup, you've just confirmed how closed minded and judgemental you are.

I just showed this to Mrs, she laughed, then offered a few choice words.

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"It's mainly Mr that does the admin here, as expressed in our bio.

That statement in our bio alone has cut down the amount of pointless (at least pointless to us) messages.

Mrs gave it a go, she enjoyed all the lovely pictures and compliments but it soon became too overwhelming for her.

I tend to pick up on red flags and compatibility much sooner than Mrs.

In addition to that, she comments regular that I choose and know her type better than she and so it works for us.

Mrs is never interested in talking sex, not even with me, though she fully enjoys hearing about it, and that's where we differ, I'm very expressive whereas she is not.

I'm happy to ask the questions, knowing what she wants to know and being able to converse it back to her much easier than she taking the reigns and struggling to ask for herself.

I'm a natural protector/nurturer and so more thorough in my questioning.

Here's the shocker for you, OP ....

Often, Mrs, by her own choice hasn't even seen a picture of the guy (we've only met solo men so far) before we meet, and again it works for us, I've not yet got it wrong and each time in the moment she's felt extra excited when first seeing him and feeling that instant attraction with the added knowledge of the purpose of where this is heading.

In short, I believe it comes down to her previous (abusive) relationship where he left her feeling worthless, unattractive and downright shit.

As a result, Mrs would skip by the guys that really catch her eye because she believes he's too good or won't find her appealing, and instead accept those offering flattering comments and holding not as much appeal to her, so she feels it's a safe option.

We've been working on building her back up and she's becoming a tower of strength now.

To help you understand OP, there are several personality types, with many different backgrounds, plus many differing kinks, and so what works for one may not work for another.

I agree though, sometimes it's questionable how into the scene the quieter one is, for us though, the more quite one online is the most active one in person.

For the Mrs, too much time to overthink, to over question can put her off.

Instead, I do the planning after she lets me know where her mindset is at, keeping her up to date as and when, and she can enjoy the spontaneity of it.

I rarely look at pictures so not shocked at all. I'm shocked by the women who only need to look at a picture to decide whether someone is compatible enough for good sex.

This doesn't sound like a kink, it's just that your Mrs has no idea how to screen men for compatibility and doesn't have many independent sexual needs so literally anyone you bring will do. Women spend a lot more time dodging dangerous guys than men spend dodging dangerous guys so its extremely unlikely you know more than her about red flags in male dating/sexual partners.

What it tells us is that she will find it difficult to express what she does and doesn't want to do in a way that assures us of her consent and enthusiasm so we would pass you by and seek couples with women who are able to articulate for themselves.

If you presented this as some sort of kink thing where the people are anonymous and she's blindfolded or something, that wouldn't be a different conversation. That's not what is happening here though.

Ah so your post wasn't to learn to understand why people may do things differently to you, it was to judge.

We'd pass you by also because you appear very closed minded.

Well it was to understand, and you told me pretty much what I assumed: at least these are women with a history of trauma and low self esteem and that sullied their ability to advocate for themselves with potential sexual partners. You confirmed that with own partner.

The risk of pursuing a couple like that is that you end up having sex with someone and that ultimately harms them, becsuse its unwanted and they felt pressured into relenting to it. That's too big of a risk to take. The consequences for all parties are too steep.

For that reason, it's best and safest to seek someone who has the wherewithal to communicate with the people they're planning to have sex with and express their desires and limits independently.

Yup, you've just confirmed how closed minded and judgemental you are.

I just showed this to Mrs, she laughed, then offered a few choice words. "

Bet she couldn't muster the confidence to actually say them to me though, eh

And that's kind of my point

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London

Do remember that you revealed that her previous abusive relationship has shattered her confidence so much that she's unable to communicate her needs to potential sexual partners because she no longer trusts her ability to screen them.

You said that. I didn't know anything about her.

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By *rpeggioCouple
51 weeks ago

Baughurst

OP, you asked an open question in this forum and people have responded in earnest. The vast majority say a) the Mr does the admin AND b) it works for them very well.

To everyone, you have responded in a very judgemental way, questioning their preferences and in particular women's ability (except yourself) to know or understand what they want, and what they like, based on an immature assumption that every woman and couple here wants from Fab the same that you want. This is not a sex site. This is a swingers site. If people prefer vanilla or kink it's their choice, so please do not judge. Not everyone here is after mind-blowing sex.

It seems this has been difficult to understand, so I will repeat it: Not everyone here is after mind-blowing sex.

The best sex we have ever had is with each other. Sex with other people is fun and exciting, and sometimes mind-blowing, and have met couples that are very good at it, but the trust and love inside a couple is an ingredient that cannot be added by "guys that know what they are doing".

What we are getting from swinging is learning, exploring and trying things. Sometimes things that we suspect that will disappoint us but that we want to try nevertheless.

The way you talk about questioning guys skills when taking to them, and not saying anything about reassurances also for your partner or the other couple, suggests that all is about your own sexual fulfillment, but does not sound like there's much consideration of what your partner will get from the other woman, or her or the guy. From your responses it seems that as long as you get your own reassurance that the guy is going to satisfy you with sexual perfection, the other 3 people in the meet should tag along and play their part.

As per my previous post, we are open minded and try not to be judgemental of what others like and do, but we can't help to judge what people say and write, so your profile would be a red flag for us because of the transactional approach to swinging. We look for people we can have fun with in bed and out of bed, not looking for the perfect sex toys to satisfy us.

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By *ossann OP   Couple
51 weeks ago

London


"OP, you asked an open question in this forum and people have responded in earnest. The vast majority say a) the Mr does the admin AND b) it works for them very well.

To everyone, you have responded in a very judgemental way, questioning their preferences and in particular women's ability (except yourself) to know or understand what they want, and what they like, based on an immature assumption that every woman and couple here wants from Fab the same that you want. This is not a sex site. This is a swingers site. If people prefer vanilla or kink it's their choice, so please do not judge. Not everyone here is after mind-blowing sex.

It seems this has been difficult to understand, so I will repeat it: Not everyone here is after mind-blowing sex.

The best sex we have ever had is with each other. Sex with other people is fun and exciting, and sometimes mind-blowing, and have met couples that are very good at it, but the trust and love inside a couple is an ingredient that cannot be added by "guys that know what they are doing".

What we are getting from swinging is learning, exploring and trying things. Sometimes things that we suspect that will disappoint us but that we want to try nevertheless.

The way you talk about questioning guys skills when taking to them, and not saying anything about reassurances also for your partner or the other couple, suggests that all is about your own sexual fulfillment, but does not sound like there's much consideration of what your partner will get from the other woman, or her or the guy. From your responses it seems that as long as you get your own reassurance that the guy is going to satisfy you with sexual perfection, the other 3 people in the meet should tag along and play their part.

As per my previous post, we are open minded and try not to be judgemental of what others like and do, but we can't help to judge what people say and write, so your profile would be a red flag for us because of the transactional approach to swinging. We look for people we can have fun with in bed and out of bed, not looking for the perfect sex toys to satisfy us."

We are up for answering any questions from the other couple. The fact that the non participating party isn't asking questions is part of what makes the one sided communication a red flag.

However, it isn't my responsibility to ensure my partner will get what he needs out of it because only he knows what he needs to ask to screen for that. Just like there are things I can only ask the other people. So I can't do this for him. He has to do it himself. That's why we both need to be involved so we can both ask and answer questions and generally chat about it.

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