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The reality of REAL people and mass timewasters

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We've all experienced them...

*Couples who agree to meet then give out phone numbers, only to find it's false and they block you.

*Singles who disappear after sometimes weeks of arranging then disappear from the site or block you - sometimes reporting you for harassment or "not turning up"??? Hmmmm...

*The other singles who just crack one off behind a keyboard, all horny talk until they unload at their end etc.

Is it wrong to disregard private meets and just meet people in a club, or keep being fobbed off and be messed around on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We tend to just go to clubs, we can't really get the time to do socials etc and some couples really want you to jump through hoops to meet them and baby sitters are difficult for us to arrange.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/03/13 09:05:29]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We tend to just go to clubs, we can't really get the time to do socials etc and some couples really want you to jump through hoops to meet them and baby sitters are difficult for us to arrange."

we struggle with baby sitters too so we struggle to get to a club. still yet to experience one yet

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Luckily, I get out when I can but when I do get or make the free time - i'm normally shot down. LOL!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"We've all experienced them...

*Couples who agree to meet then give out phone numbers, only to find it's false and they block you.

*Singles who disappear after sometimes weeks of arranging then disappear from the site or block you - sometimes reporting you for harassment or "not turning up"??? Hmmmm...

*The other singles who just crack one off behind a keyboard, all horny talk until they unload at their end etc.

Is it wrong to disregard private meets and just meet people in a club, or keep being fobbed off and be messed around on here?"

Actually no, in over 2 years on Fab I've never experienced any of those at all.

Maybe I've been lucky or maybe I've just got a knack for it as I take my time and get to know people first.

The ONLY way to deal with these problems is to change how you operate on Fab - that is the only thing you can change here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've all experienced them...

*Couples who agree to meet then give out phone numbers, only to find it's false and they block you.

*Singles who disappear after sometimes weeks of arranging then disappear from the site or block you - sometimes reporting you for harassment or "not turning up"??? Hmmmm...

*The other singles who just crack one off behind a keyboard, all horny talk until they unload at their end etc.

Is it wrong to disregard private meets and just meet people in a club, or keep being fobbed off and be messed around on here?

Actually no, in over 2 years on Fab I've never experienced any of those at all.

Maybe I've been lucky or maybe I've just got a knack for it as I take my time and get to know people first.

The ONLY way to deal with these problems is to change how you operate on Fab - that is the only thing you can change here. "

The club scene does not appeal to us, so only ever do our own meets and never had a problem.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think the best knock back was a girl who actually did turn up. I work from home and an artist (not gonna say which side of art as there isn't many around here). She saw a sculpt I was working on as I work in my front room which is where the front door is. She looked, freaked out and turned for the door. I was inadvertently blocked then she removed her profile a few hours later.

They can have sex with strangers, but get scared of a clay sculpture of a zombie looking in their direction???? PMSL!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've all experienced them...

*Couples who agree to meet then give out phone numbers, only to find it's false and they block you.

*Singles who disappear after sometimes weeks of arranging then disappear from the site or block you - sometimes reporting you for harassment or "not turning up"??? Hmmmm...

*The other singles who just crack one off behind a keyboard, all horny talk until they unload at their end etc.

Is it wrong to disregard private meets and just meet people in a club, or keep being fobbed off and be messed around on here?

Actually no, in over 2 years on Fab I've never experienced any of those at all.

Maybe I've been lucky or maybe I've just got a knack for it as I take my time and get to know people first.

The ONLY way to deal with these problems is to change how you operate on Fab - that is the only thing you can change here. "

Same here. Weve only ever had a couple of hiccups on here but I think weve been lucky with the people we choose to meet. There are a lot of people who do waste people's time and theres sometimes nothing u can do about it. Its not u its them!

Good luck in the future xx

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford


"I think the best knock back was a girl who actually did turn up. I work from home and an artist (not gonna say which side of art as there isn't many around here). She saw a sculpt I was working on as I work in my front room which is where the front door is. She looked, freaked out and turned for the door. I was inadvertently blocked then she removed her profile a few hours later.

They can have sex with strangers, but get scared of a clay sculpture of a zombie looking in their direction???? PMSL!"
maybe she saw u working on it and hadnt noticed the sculpture

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Actually no, in over 2 years on Fab I've never experienced any of those at all.

Maybe I've been lucky or maybe I've just got a knack for it as I take my time and get to know people first.

The ONLY way to deal with these problems is to change how you operate on Fab - that is the only thing you can change here. "

To be honest, when I first joined early last year - never had a problem. Had a lot of fun and made some great friends/f.buddies through clubs etc. Closed my profile. Opened a new one then had to disable my profile as somebody I was doing a commission for was on here (high profile client) sent me a wink, so had to delete my profile to avoid anything coming out of that.

Maybe it's this newbie profile again. LOL!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes had the same problem. On my joint account with Sarah we have had many that either dissapear, block you or just start deleting messages from you.

Not experienced much on this account as to be honest there seems to be no intrest for me how hard I try. And I'm one of the genuine ones.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Doubt it was the other wat around. Very rare you meet a goth girl on here who only meets goths and then runs. Unless she had a fella she knew who I knew or was freaked out by a room full of monster and alien sculptures.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have met four couples on here, haven't been messed about by anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another that has never encountered problems like that. And that's as a single male and a couple.

As already said you are the consistent participant, maybe look at what you are doing wrong?

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Like _nvictus my experience so far has been really good. I do tend to build up a friendship before a meet, so far I have met everyone I have planned to. But perhaps I have been lucky x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Another that has never encountered problems like that. And that's as a single male and a couple.

As already said you are the consistent participant, maybe look at what you are doing wrong?"

Thing is, I never have any problems in normal clubs/bars etc over the past 7 years, that is when the mood takes me. Everything is good. I believe that the scene here is very clicky and very selective as most are doing this on here and nothing else. Most won't go to a swingers club on here and when spoken about, they can't justify the costs.

Understandably there are a lot of single males out there - very few that are honest and genuine and many trying to get "the ride" to fulfill what they may not be getting at home.

Other than that, if you are a couple or a profile as male and female buddies on here then you aren't likely to get messed around as most guys know that one slip up means no fun/no meet. Somebody said it must be because where I am living at the moment is a small area and everybody knows somebody (Hmmmmmm).

Sadly to say, and in no way does this reflect on you good people who have replied honestly and I duly respect that - it's more likely a case of (and correct me if i'm wrong here) there are women and men on here who do get above their station. I'm not just trying to get my cock wet anywhere or with everybody - i'm selective and have some form of self respect (which seems a bit daft since we are on a site for sex) LOL!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Actually no, in over 2 years on Fab I've never experienced any of those at all.

Maybe I've been lucky or maybe I've just got a knack for it as I take my time and get to know people first.

The ONLY way to deal with these problems is to change how you operate on Fab - that is the only thing you can change here. "

Have to agree with this, I was having problems with no shows etc, so much so I hide my profile & took a break to re-think things. When I came back I'm using the site differently, not compromising on what I want, taking more time. I may not be having as many meets but not getting no shoes any more & my meets are a lot more enjoyable.

Only thing anyone of us have control over on this site is how we use it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like _nvictus my experience so far has been really good. I do tend to build up a friendship before a meet, so far I have met everyone I have planned to. But perhaps I have been lucky x "

The same ! You saved me typing it all lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear OP has been having problems. We haven't experienced anything like that. Mind you, our BS detector is finely tuned! If we suspect someone is going to muck about we just move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think it depends who you talk to. I've been lucky too have some great meets n also make some very good friends off here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Think it depends who you talk to. I've been lucky too have some great meets n also make some very good friends off here "

I think a re-plan is in action. And stop dudes who think a 4am BJ message is actually gonna work. LOL!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been on this site for some 5 years now with various profiles this is my first single one but also have a couples one with my good lady, I have to say it really depends how you use this site as to what you end up with. With my last partner we would send out lots of messages and sit and wait for replies, frustration set in very quickly resulting in many wasted weekends and many more arguments. Now my new partner and I love the chatrooms we have met fantastic people in there that have got up both out of our shells, into the clubs and doing social meets. Dealing with our inbox now is just a chore we put off until we have to do it. It really is how you use the site and mindset. There are no easy guaranteed shags even on fab

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"Actually no, in over 2 years on Fab I've never experienced any of those at all.

Maybe I've been lucky or maybe I've just got a knack for it as I take my time and get to know people first.

The ONLY way to deal with these problems is to change how you operate on Fab - that is the only thing you can change here.

To be honest, when I first joined early last year - never had a problem. Had a lot of fun and made some great friends/f.buddies through clubs etc. Closed my profile. Opened a new one then had to disable my profile as somebody I was doing a commission for was on here (high profile client) sent me a wink, so had to delete my profile to avoid anything coming out of that.

Maybe it's this newbie profile again. LOL!"

For someone who says they don't want to give too much away, you seem to be doing the opposite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have met 5 couples from FAB on here and we live a thousand miles away !

All very genuine and great couples and arranging to meet more in the very near future

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Another that has never encountered problems like that. And that's as a single male and a couple.

As already said you are the consistent participant, maybe look at what you are doing wrong?

Thing is, I never have any problems in normal clubs/bars etc over the past 7 years, that is when the mood takes me. Everything is good. I believe that the scene here is very clicky and very selective as most are doing this on here and nothing else. Most won't go to a swingers club on here and when spoken about, they can't justify the costs.

Understandably there are a lot of single males out there - very few that are honest and genuine and many trying to get "the ride" to fulfill what they may not be getting at home.

Other than that, if you are a couple or a profile as male and female buddies on here then you aren't likely to get messed around as most guys know that one slip up means no fun/no meet. Somebody said it must be because where I am living at the moment is a small area and everybody knows somebody (Hmmmmmm).

Sadly to say, and in no way does this reflect on you good people who have replied honestly and I duly respect that - it's more likely a case of (and correct me if i'm wrong here) there are women and men on here who do get above their station. I'm not just trying to get my cock wet anywhere or with everybody - i'm selective and have some form of self respect (which seems a bit daft since we are on a site for sex) LOL!"

the thread started so well... and then it went off and the "oh woe is me" "the site is clicky" ect ect came out...

its beginning to sound like everything else is to blame except me....

if you aren't having success, and are having lots of timewasters (although you still having giving the definition of what one is... and I bet your definition and mine will probably be different) is...

as others have said... maybe its time to look at the way you do things, maybe it is time to change it up...

if you honestly don't believe you are doing anything wrong... then fine, continue along your merry way, but you then lose the right to moan because you were too stubborn to actually listen to what others are trying to say.....

it is most definately a two way street... you do as much of the attracting as the other person, you do as much in the selection as the other person....

you see womens and couples profiles being bombarded as soon as they become live because they are "fresh meat"... that attitude doesn't tend to work on here.. and it doesn't tend to work in clubs either.....

I tell people you can only go at the speed of the slowest people..... if that speed whatever it is, is too slow for you... see ya later!!! simple as....

have I experienced issues on here... nah... but I go at a speed I am happy with, with the company I am keeping... I dont rush and I wont be rushed either!

some people only see the end result... I like the journey along the way... people tend to forget that....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the best knock back was a girl who actually did turn up. I work from home and an artist (not gonna say which side of art as there isn't many around here). She saw a sculpt I was working on as I work in my front room which is where the front door is. She looked, freaked out and turned for the door. I was inadvertently blocked then she removed her profile a few hours later.

They can have sex with strangers, but get scared of a clay sculpture of a zombie looking in their direction???? PMSL!"

You started off saying you weren't going to say much about what you do and then did the complete opposite!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think the best knock back was a girl who actually did turn up. I work from home and an artist (not gonna say which side of art as there isn't many around here). She saw a sculpt I was working on as I work in my front room which is where the front door is. She looked, freaked out and turned for the door. I was inadvertently blocked then she removed her profile a few hours later.

They can have sex with strangers, but get scared of a clay sculpture of a zombie looking in their direction???? PMSL!

You started off saying you weren't going to say much about what you do and then did the complete opposite!! "

Ahhhhh, but there is many aspects to sculpture! Not just what you may think it maybe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've all experienced them...

*Couples who agree to meet then give out phone numbers, only to find it's false and they block you.

*Singles who disappear after sometimes weeks of arranging then disappear from the site or block you - sometimes reporting you for harassment or "not turning up"??? Hmmmm...

*The other singles who just crack one off behind a keyboard, all horny talk until they unload at their end etc.

Is it wrong to disregard private meets and just meet people in a club, or keep being fobbed off and be messed around on here?"

What is wrong is to assume that your experience is indicative of that of others. If you keep experiencing the same pattern with your contacts through this or any other swinging/contact site, then you have to face the fact that the one common denominator is......? YOU.

Time to look in the mirror and ask 'what am I doing that is generating the same pattern behaviour from 'people' I make contact with..??'

Without sounding patronising, those who have asked me in the past why this is happening generally come round to seeing that it is the way THEY approach it that is giving rise to the problems and let-downs they experience. Once you start to question your approach, it should start to improve.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Another that has never encountered problems like that. And that's as a single male and a couple.

As already said you are the consistent participant, maybe look at what you are doing wrong?

Thing is, I never have any problems in normal clubs/bars etc over the past 7 years, that is when the mood takes me. Everything is good. I believe that the scene here is very clicky and very selective as most are doing this on here and nothing else. Most won't go to a swingers club on here and when spoken about, they can't justify the costs.

Understandably there are a lot of single males out there - very few that are honest and genuine and many trying to get "the ride" to fulfill what they may not be getting at home.

Other than that, if you are a couple or a profile as male and female buddies on here then you aren't likely to get messed around as most guys know that one slip up means no fun/no meet. Somebody said it must be because where I am living at the moment is a small area and everybody knows somebody (Hmmmmmm).

Sadly to say, and in no way does this reflect on you good people who have replied honestly and I duly respect that - it's more likely a case of (and correct me if i'm wrong here) there are women and men on here who do get above their station. I'm not just trying to get my cock wet anywhere or with everybody - i'm selective and have some form of self respect (which seems a bit daft since we are on a site for sex) LOL!

the thread started so well... and then it went off and the "oh woe is me" "the site is clicky" ect ect came out...

its beginning to sound like everything else is to blame except me....

if you aren't having success, and are having lots of timewasters (although you still having giving the definition of what one is... and I bet your definition and mine will probably be different) is...

as others have said... maybe its time to look at the way you do things, maybe it is time to change it up...

if you honestly don't believe you are doing anything wrong... then fine, continue along your merry way, but you then lose the right to moan because you were too stubborn to actually listen to what others are trying to say.....

it is most definately a two way street... you do as much of the attracting as the other person, you do as much in the selection as the other person....

you see womens and couples profiles being bombarded as soon as they become live because they are "fresh meat"... that attitude doesn't tend to work on here.. and it doesn't tend to work in clubs either.....

I tell people you can only go at the speed of the slowest people..... if that speed whatever it is, is too slow for you... see ya later!!! simple as....

have I experienced issues on here... nah... but I go at a speed I am happy with, with the company I am keeping... I dont rush and I wont be rushed either!

some people only see the end result... I like the journey along the way... people tend to forget that....

"

Most likely a misinterpretation of what I was trying to put across - so definitely not a "Woe is me" scenario. Just making valid points without turning it into War and Peace! Not good trying to work and type at the same time - so my bad.

I guess the whole jist of trying to get your head around timewasters is simple. Messages, agreement, deletion, blocking, profile deletion.

I think it fair to say that there are many people who use this site as a fantasy. They love the idea and then run a mile when it comes to meeting socially or for more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For many it will remain a fantasy. For a lot of guys on here they think its an instant shag site and dont realise that u get out what u put in. We find verifications are the best guage of whos genuine and whos not. Also we steer clear of people who havent met for years without explanation.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I think the best knock back was a girl who actually did turn up. I work from home and an artist (not gonna say which side of art as there isn't many around here). She saw a sculpt I was working on as I work in my front room which is where the front door is. She looked, freaked out and turned for the door. I was inadvertently blocked then she removed her profile a few hours later.

They can have sex with strangers, but get scared of a clay sculpture of a zombie looking in their direction???? PMSL!

You started off saying you weren't going to say much about what you do and then did the complete opposite!!

Ahhhhh, but there is many aspects to sculpture! Not just what you may think it maybe."

I said that too up there ^^^

It is and obviously your life you can discuss all you want....but it wasn't what type of sculpture that I was thinking of....but the little bit of info you were giving out about another member ....it is lack of discretion for me.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"

I guess the whole jist of trying to get your head around timewasters is simple. Messages, agreement, deletion, blocking, profile deletion.

I think it fair to say that there are many people who use this site as a fantasy. They love the idea and then run a mile when it comes to meeting socially or for more."

I think this happens on a lot of sites you are right.

I know people say you need to change how you do things, and up to a point I agree.

When we first started looking for single men we quickly realised that if the answer to how are you was " I am horny" all they wanted was for us to tell them what might happen on a meet and they would be one handed typing......so we always stopped the conversation at that point.

Maybe change how you are vetting the people you are chatting to, or even changing the way you chat, it could be someone just getting their rocks off and then deleting when the time comes for a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another that has never encountered problems like that. And that's as a single male and a couple.

As already said you are the consistent participant, maybe look at what you are doing wrong?

Thing is, I never have any problems in normal clubs/bars etc over the past 7 years, that is when the mood takes me. Everything is good. I believe that the scene here is very clicky and very selective as most are doing this on here and nothing else. Most won't go to a swingers club on here and when spoken about, they can't justify the costs.

Understandably there are a lot of single males out there - very few that are honest and genuine and many trying to get "the ride" to fulfill what they may not be getting at home.

Other than that, if you are a couple or a profile as male and female buddies on here then you aren't likely to get messed around as most guys know that one slip up means no fun/no meet. Somebody said it must be because where I am living at the moment is a small area and everybody knows somebody (Hmmmmmm).

Sadly to say, and in no way does this reflect on you good people who have replied honestly and I duly respect that - it's more likely a case of (and correct me if i'm wrong here) there are women and men on here who do get above their station. I'm not just trying to get my cock wet anywhere or with everybody - i'm selective and have some form of self respect (which seems a bit daft since we are on a site for sex) LOL!"

An awful lot of assumptions there...

As for blaming where you live, seriously? You are bang in the middle of a huge conurbation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

clubs have gotta be the best bet for those wanting a sniff of the scene and those with genuine interest

places like this make it easy for fakers and timewasters so it`ll attract them in droves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" We find verifications are the best guage of whos genuine and whos not."

Its getting that first one. Have met somone oh here. She did say she would give me a verification but never did. Think one of her fbs puts pressure on because my wife won't meet him for him to call the shots. Do have verification on our couple account.

As for is it us or whatever then please check my profile and let me know how I can improve it also my couple account is Richie72Sarah75 so some feedback on the profile would also be good

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"An awful lot of assumptions there...

As for blaming where you live, seriously? You are bang in the middle of a huge conurbation."

Have you been to Dudley and spent more than a day here??? It's like The Hills Have Eyes without the cannibalism. LOL! People don't seem to like travelling more than 2 miles around here. Very strange in that respect but they can't accommodate either?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"clubs have gotta be the best bet for those wanting a sniff of the scene and those with genuine interest

places like this make it easy for fakers and timewasters so it`ll attract them in droves "

Totally agree! Somebody finally got it! And I am a member at Chams, so kinda separates myself from Mr Cock Pic and no face. LOL!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For many it will remain a fantasy. For a lot of guys on here they think its an instant shag site and dont realise that u get out what u put in. We find verifications are the best guage of whos genuine and whos not. Also we steer clear of people who havent met for years without explanation.

"

I agree this is not an instant gratification site, although sometimes it can be, in the main it works best with some contact over a few days It is a good rule to only meet those that have recent verifications and speak on the phone before meeting. Have also found a good gauge to out fake couples is to ask for face pics straight away from them, its amazing how many dont have them or have some BS excuse why they don't show them!!

if your not getting people show up then maybe your not reading the red flags they are giving you, no pics, won't speak on phone etc. pick and choose carefully and will have fun im sure.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For many it will remain a fantasy. For a lot of guys on here they think its an instant shag site and dont realise that u get out what u put in. We find verifications are the best guage of whos genuine and whos not. Also we steer clear of people who havent met for years without explanation.

I agree this is not an instant gratification site, although sometimes it can be, in the main it works best with some contact over a few days It is a good rule to only meet those that have recent verifications and speak on the phone before meeting. Have also found a good gauge to out fake couples is to ask for face pics straight away from them, its amazing how many dont have them or have some BS excuse why they don't show them!!

if your not getting people show up then maybe your not reading the red flags they are giving you, no pics, won't speak on phone etc. pick and choose carefully and will have fun im sure."

Quite possibly! There doesn't seem to be any red flags the majority of the time and those (couples, single fems and the odd bi dude) seem to know how to word it well and seem genuine. The phone approach seems to be the only thing left out!

And thanks to you all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are beginning to wonder if the only real players are in the clubs...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We are beginning to wonder if the only real players are in the clubs..."

Seems that way. But I don't tar and feather everybody with the same brush on sites. Just a lot more time wasters online.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have only played in clubs simply because if we don't get to meet people we click with we can always play on our own as we enjoy being naked around other people.

We won't meet at home but would be more than happy to spring for a sexy Hotel meet given the right set of circumstances. However there is always the danger of people not turning up.

I guess the key is to develop links with reliable people which is where our club meets come in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We have only played in clubs simply because if we don't get to meet people we click with we can always play on our own as we enjoy being naked around other people.

We won't meet at home but would be more than happy to spring for a sexy Hotel meet given the right set of circumstances. However there is always the danger of people not turning up.

I guess the key is to develop links with reliable people which is where our club meets come in. "

it seems to be the way forward and me and my old playmate are taking a well deserved trip back to Chams after a 4 month break! Glad I didn't put her on my profile description and saves guys wanting a quick threesome in messages every 5 minutes. LOL!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that after you reduce it down from people fantasising, people playing with the idea (but not going through with it), people that sign up to play on cam etc. but never intending to meet, duplicate profiles by people with couples profiles and those set up to get round blocks etc. And then (from our point of view) also take out the 'lonely hearts' single profiles who are after a relationship rather than swinging - you finish with a fairly small number - and then of course you have to take out those that don't fancy you and vice versa, so even smaller!

BUT - we've not had any problem finding them on here, and have found that for the most part meeting people has been simpler and more effective on here than other sites.

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