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Unrealistic expectations

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Been chatting with some great people on here and thought I'd see how this topic goes.

One thing in my time on here that I've realized is some people set really unrealistic expectations of the site and themselves.

Wondering if anyone else has found this and that some, not all, seem to find themselves entitled to a meet or more just because they are on the site and are gym fit. Seems the art of conversation has gone with some people and looks are more important. I get that we need attraction but put some effort in. And I know I'm not Brad Pitt before the trolls start lol.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I'm reading between the lines here and assuming when you say some people you mean men?

I'm assuming that only because the way you have written the post it reads very like numerous virtue signalling threads.

I'll hold my hands up if that is not the case.

My personal experience in my years here is that there are lots of people, both men and women with unreasonable expectations.

A lot of those expectations are based solely on how they view everyone else on the site as sex addicts who have naked pics up so they must be gagging for it.

Some of those expectations are built on how those people are used to being spoken to or treated in their daily lives.

Some struggle to be seen or spoken to at all and expect people on this site to be different.

Some are used to attention and flattery and expect people on this site to shower them with more.

The former can often become disheartened when they are no more visible here than anywhere else.

The latter can struggle when their expectations aren't met because they don't understand the word "no".

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What a well worded reply and I do of course mean both men and women not solely men.

I just found it astonishing how people can react to the words 'sorry you're really not my type.' And that people can be cruelly dismissive of others. Politely letting someone down rather than being rude and attacking someone's looks isn't hard to do. Thanks for the reply though and glad the discussion hasn't just bombed.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I think after a while most folk have either tempered their expectations, or after posting a few passive aggressive status updates, have flounced

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Who cares if people set unrealistic expectations? The only people they will disappoint are themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people get frustrated because they don’t get the chance to practice ‘the art of conversation’ as you put it as they often get dismissed outright and find it hard to get a foothold.

They may be polite, have a well worded profile and great pics but still get no joy and get cheesed off.

I have been on swingers sites over the last 20 years but 5 FAB for only 5 months this time around. I didn’t have any expectations and certainly didn’t expect immediate success. Luckily I’ve done ok but it is hard work for single men.


"Been chatting with some great people on here and thought I'd see how this topic goes.

One thing in my time on here that I've realized is some people set really unrealistic expectations of the site and themselves.

Wondering if anyone else has found this and that some, not all, seem to find themselves entitled to a meet or more just because they are on the site and are gym fit. Seems the art of conversation has gone with some people and looks are more important. I get that we need attraction but put some effort in. And I know I'm not Brad Pitt before the trolls start lol."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Politely letting someone down rather than being rude and attacking someone's looks isn't hard to do."

I absolutely agree it isn't hard to do, but the flip side is that some people find it hard to take. That's mostly an 'ego' driven thing though, and some people simply cannot handle having theirs deflated.

I've been on both sides... received plenty of polite no's which is fine and also I have politely said no to others.

8 times out of 10 I have been met with "ahh, nevermind. Hope.you have fun!" or words to that effect... it's been taken well and both parties have moved on.

Several times I've been abused though. "Who do you think you are? God's gift?" followed by abuse based upon my height/looks and/or size.

It's a shame, but that's the way it is. Thankfully, more are respectful than abusive.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The problem with conversing artfully or otherwise is the differing expectations of the participants.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The problem with conversing artfully or otherwise is the differing expectations of the participants. "

This is something I understand but the point I am making is that there is never a place for being rude. Surely we are all adults and can be civilized. As others have said there are ways to politely let people down.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"The problem with conversing artfully or otherwise is the differing expectations of the participants.

This is something I understand but the point I am making is that there is never a place for being rude. Surely we are all adults and can be civilized. As others have said there are ways to politely let people down. "

People are rude. The internet allows them to be rude with few consequences. They'd rarely dare to behave that way face to face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem with conversing artfully or otherwise is the differing expectations of the participants.

This is something I understand but the point I am making is that there is never a place for being rude. Surely we are all adults and can be civilized. As others have said there are ways to politely let people down.

People are rude. The internet allows them to be rude with few consequences. They'd rarely dare to behave that way face to face. "

This, I definitely agree with.

It's not right and it shouldn't be that way, there is no need to be an arsehole for arsehole sake but you'll never stop it.

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