FabSwingers.com forum: how picky are you on this scene

By *oxy j OP Woman
over a year ago

somerset

so how picky are you on this scene swinging ????

me very picky always have been always will be ... they have to be at least sexually attractive to me and that by far is not the only thing cause most will ruin it with in the first message or two..

so a question to all is how picky are YOU no moaning about how picky others are just how picky are you its a easy question ...so ...

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Oh. Very.

I have amazing partners already, why would I meet someone that just meets the bare minimum when I can spend time with the people who actually inspire me instead? I'm here to enhance what I have, not to just be a willing selection of orifices for anyone who doesn't excite me

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Very, that's why I rarely meet.

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

I'm very picky. If the person isn't female I'm not interested.

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By *nj6969Couple
over a year ago

Grimsby

We are quite picky with guys because we can be on here I guess.

Women less so hubby easy going with the girls xx

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I'm extremely picky despite the opinion of many that men don't have options here and therefore can't afford to be picky.

I've been told that a number of times by couples wanting me to meet them.

I've 60+ veries across the 4 profiles I've had in my time here but I was only interested in taking it beyond a social with 7 of those which works out at 1 for each year I've been here.

That was always by choice rather than circumstance and I've no intention of changing my approach.

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By *arialoueWoman
over a year ago

bradford

I'm very picky

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By *e-funcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Regrettably my wife is very fussy, which is why it is so hard to find anyone in this site.

Most are incapable of actually reading a profile that generally rules out 80% and they get deleted. Then you have those that read it but think even though they are no where near what we are looking for a message will justify a reply. Then the rest are dreamers or fantasists.

The 1% left are generally miles away.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Very, it's rare I find someone who ticks all the _oxes these days.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Very, we’re looking for someone to enhance our sex life, and we already have incredible sex. If we don’t think you will give us an experience we will really enjoy, and vice versa, then you’re not going to get in our bed.

One of the divides there seems to be on fab is between the people who are looking for great sex, and the people looking for any sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep I'm picky, has to be a little bit more than just the physical attraction.

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By *otSoPetiteMortWoman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

Very.

Like, I don't meet at all.

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By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

they have to have a pulse!

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

We rarely meet anyway due to kids,family and jobs. But when w do they have to be people we click with.

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By *ewCoupleHXCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We aren't picky, we are just attracted to different people depending upon mood. Finding a couple to couple match is trickier than meeting singles as we can only really enjoy if everyone is attracted to everyone. Mr is the fussier one but he won't say but he does sometimes just goes along if I am really into someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess we are picky!

It’s hard being a couple looking for another couple where we both find our potential sex swap partner sexy.

If we do, then we have to hope they are attracted to us too… but it’s all part of the fun.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I work on a sliding scale.

7 days before being free, I look around, spot someone fantastic and decide they're the one, so I send a message.

2 days before a meet, notice they've not been online for ages. Sigh. Advertise a meet today for 2 days hence.

Get loads of looks at me and winks, people fabbing 50 pics. Find that most are too far away, too straight, only have pics of Mrs on the profile, find reasons why none are idea.

Day of being free - start looking for someone with a pulse

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By *kyblue1878Couple
over a year ago

Southport

Why would you compromise or lower your standards. We both have to be attracted to play partners and I don't think either of us would want to see the other taking one for the team.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very, we’re looking for someone to enhance our sex life, and we already have incredible sex. If we don’t think you will give us an experience we will really enjoy, and vice versa, then you’re not going to get in our bed.

One of the divides there seems to be on fab is between the people who are looking for great sex, and the people looking for any sex."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We aren't picky, we are just attracted to different people depending upon mood. Finding a couple to couple match is trickier than meeting singles as we can only really enjoy if everyone is attracted to everyone. Mr is the fussier one but he won't say but he does sometimes just goes along if I am really into someone.

The women in the couples you've met will be so pleased to learn he only fucked them so you could fuck their husband.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

The women in the couples you've met will be so pleased to learn he only fucked them so you could fuck their husband.

Glad I wasn't the only one thinking that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some proper egomaniacs around on here isn’t there?

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

Yes, I am picky. It has to be someone I am attracted to and who treats me as more than a set of holes to fuck. And they need to be able to fit around my availability.

If I'm in a club, it would have to be someone who can talk to me and my partner as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my lady is quite picky on here but thats her right, she has to be attracted to someone.

me my attraction levels are wider, love curvy women which seem plentiful on here and ive always thought personally that variety is the spice of life.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Very... Someone set the bar really high, and others rarely match up to that.

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By *ewCoupleHXCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"Some proper egomaniacs around on here isn’t there? "

Fairpoint, it can be a bit of an ego boost I guess, being picky that is x

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By *eterandJaneadventuresCouple
over a year ago

Sutton

We would not say very picky , more like fairly picky, both must posses good personalities , be able to hold a conversation, a bit cheeky , a bit flirty, mutual respect and understand that sorry but it’s a no, can happen .

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By *parkle13Woman
over a year ago

Dundee

If I'd not do them on the dating scene then I'd not do in a club or anyplace else

Think because of this people think I'm up myself but if you don't fancy someone it's just going threw the motions for someone else

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By *he_ProzacsCouple
over a year ago

tamworth

Very. We won't "take one for the team", if we aren't finding the sexual chemistry and attraction is there for both of us with other couples & single fems, then play is vetoed.

We will absolutely talk and socialise with anyone and everyone though. We really enjoy that side, being around likeminded people and just having a good laugh. Probably 90% of our veris, if not more, are social based because we love club events.

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By *anJenny 181Couple
over a year ago

Preston

we are new to all this shenanigans & set down the group rules early.

Age group 30 to 50ish

No married men

No one in our postcode area

Jenny also said aim high on the people we want to play with

100% attraction to the guest is required

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By *ony MannMan
over a year ago

Lagos, Portugal// Andover

I'm not picky as in body form, but there does have to be something, a connection.

I have been to Gems, but I do chat before deciding to play and I've never been a fuck and run man.

Have I lost you in the first mail?

Tony

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By *llie AssMan
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

"so how picky are you on this scene swinging ????

me very picky always have been always will be ... they have to be at least sexually attractive to me and that by far is not the only thing cause most will ruin it with in the first message or two..

so a question to all is how picky are YOU no moaning about how picky others are just how picky are you its a easy question ...so ...

Far far too picky for my own good.

On the one hand, we are all on here to have the kind of sex we want.

On the other, I'm not sexy enough to get that kind of sex!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not picky as in body form, but there does have to be something, a connection.

I have been to Gems, but I do chat before deciding to play and I've never been a fuck and run man.

Have I lost you in the first mail?

Tony"

You are definitely not a fuck and run man. I wouldn't say we chatted before spending the evening together in Gems. We have chatted now, manly about "sleep" ??

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

Very.

My standards don’t change just because I’m on this site or on clubs.

If I wouldn’t have sex with you in the real world because I think you’re ridiculously attractive, then I wouldn’t in this world.

Liking sex doesn’t make me desperate

Others not acting the same is my biggest turn off, each to their own x

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By *otSoPetiteMortWoman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

"If I'd not do them on the dating scene then I'd not do in a club or anyplace else

Think because of this people think I'm up myself but if you don't fancy someone it's just going threw the motions for someone else "

See, whereas I am more open on the dating scene and fussier with people I just want sex from.

With dating, I am more attracted to the person than just their looks, but when it's just sex, if I don't instantly want to tear your clothes off, it's a no go.

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By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands

Very.

Cant just meet anyone.

My wifes not a slut. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is looking for perfect people to have perfect sex with really what swinging is all about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to come across people in clubs.

I can see them in person straight away, if I find them attractive and we can have a chat to see if we actually like each other. A still photo and a some online conversation don't tell me much. There are far too many things that will draw me in or turn me off about someone: mannerisms, tone,smile, voice, how they conduct themselves in public ha all add to attraction for me or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which is how you used to meet people before online dating came in right? You’d see them in the flesh and go from there.

I understand it’s the way of the world now and it does have its advantages but the old way was so much better in a lot of respects.

"I like to come across people in clubs.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

I shocked a people in Galores once I turned someone down. (This was about 6 years ago). I don't know why a single male turning someone down was considered so weird.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which is how you used to meet people before online dating came in right? You’d see them in the flesh and go from there.

I understand it’s the way of the world now and it does have its advantages but the old way was so much better in a lot of respects.

I like to come across people in clubs.

Yes I suppose that's very true, it's how people used to meet.

I just prefer it , I always like a social before agreeing anything anyway. My time is limited so it's easier for me to go to a club and do it all under one roof if the vibes are right. Aligning schedules etc can be tricky and then if you agree to meet for more at a later date that day might come and your not feeling very in the mood. Libido can be elusive and ebbs and flows.

When I'm in a club I'm feeling good and the mood is right.

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By *obbi_sutherlandTV/TS
over a year ago

Dornoch

"I work on a sliding scale.

7 days before being free, I look around, spot someone fantastic and decide they're the one, so I send a message.

2 days before a meet, notice they've not been online for ages. Sigh. Advertise a meet today for 2 days hence.

Get loads of looks at me and winks, people fabbing 50 pics. Find that most are too far away, too straight, only have pics of Mrs on the profile, find reasons why none are idea.

Day of being free - start looking for someone with a pulse

Sounds way too familiar

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

"Is looking for perfect people to have perfect sex with really what swinging is all about?"

Depends what you understand as "perfect".

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By *BC AndyMan
over a year ago

Richmond Upon Thames

I'm very picky always have been.

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By *tirling DarkCouple
over a year ago

Stirling

Very picky and do far we've only had one "bad" experience when we first started swinging. Now, as our free time is very rare we are extremely picky as we aren't going to waste precious time on people who a. Aren't into our "thing" b. Are not attractive c. Can't complete a sensible sentence.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"Is looking for perfect people to have perfect sex with really what swinging is all about?"

Perfect doesn’t exist, what people are looking for is someone, or some people, to enhance their sex lives. Some people have higher standards when it comes to what will enhance their sex lives, whereas for some people just finding someone, anyone, to have sex with, will enhance their sex lives.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I wouldn't say I'm picky. Nor am I needy or demanding.

Not because some people won't think I am but I'm tired of the negative labels ascribed to knowing what I like (when I realise!) and only wanting those experiences where I think they're going to be really fucking incredible.

I rarely meet people in more than a social capacity but when it works, it really does. I think that's because I'm more comfortable in myself and knowing what works for me.

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

As many have said you need to be attracted to the person. What I have found since joining FAB that my attraction occurs differently now and I am attracted to different people than I would have been in my younger years. Some of that is the confidence certain people have in their sexuality and what they want which I find attractive. Then they tease my mind and I am part of the way there.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm not picky at all. I know when I'm attracted to a person and I won't insult myself or anyone else by going outside of that. That's not being picky, It's basic respect for yourself and other people.

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By *ornyguy666Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

I am not picking at all long as legal but very hard on here to get meets I guess others are very picky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"they have to have a pulse! "

That’s considered a luxury for most men on Fab. You fussy bugger!

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By *azzajazzaMan
over a year ago

hornchurch

We are very picky. We both have to like the guy before we even meet.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I'm not picky at all. I know when I'm attracted to a person and I won't insult myself or anyone else by going outside of that. That's not being picky, It's basic respect for yourself and other people. "

This

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I'm pretty picky, needs to be an attraction both ways and great chemistry as sexually becomes a bonus...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Extremely picky. I find myself put off by the slightest things.

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By *ister_EMan
over a year ago

Hayling Island

I am very, very picky! And I definitely gotten more so over the years. Although I will admit that looks and physical attributes increasingly play a smaller and smaller part in choosing my partners. If there isn't a meeting of minds and a connection then there is zero chance of a meeting of bodies!

I'd rather have no meets than a meets than comprise.

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

I'd say I'm pretty picky in terms of looks/physical attraction. I've had a couple of "curvy" women look a bit miffed at clubs when I've said no thank you.

In terms of personality, it depends on context. If it's purely playing with someone I've met in a club, then it's less important (though we have to at least have some connection) as we're there to enjoy the phsical side of things more than intellectual conversation. Bonus of course if the night ends in the hot tub having a great conversation as we relax afterwards!

If we're talking dating then of course there'd have to be something more, and I'm probably quite picky in that sense too.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

Can women can afford to be more selective because of the ration of men to women?

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By *he ass man 666Man
over a year ago

paradise city

Very picky that’s why my meets are so low , sorry lady’s

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"so how picky are you on this scene swinging ????

me very picky always have been always will be ... they have to be at least sexually attractive to me and that by far is not the only thing cause most will ruin it with in the first message or two..

so a question to all is how picky are YOU no moaning about how picky others are just how picky are you its a easy question ...so ...

The answer depends on the scenario. Varies a lot for me and seems to for others I know too. If looking for one on ones via messaging here quite picky. However, if meeting at a party or club with lots going on much less picky as it is often a fairly quick bit of fun with lots of other things going on. I was at a big house party last night with my partner and I think both of us had fun with some people that we would have not jumped at meeting one on one for a longer session.

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By *lue morphoCouple
over a year ago

North West

Super picky. Love fun, quirky, no pressure people who love a laugh & good time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not too picky, I'm not on here looking for marriage material!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Mrs) am very picky, Mr not so much, think its a bit frustrating for him haha. Problem is I'm fairly demisexual so photos alone will never do it for me, it takes time and connection for me to feel properly attracted to someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are pretty fussy and it’s hard finding a mutual attraction where both of us are attracted to the other couple. Meeting singles is much easier than meeting a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/11/23 17:56:39]

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By *bflirtyCouple
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

It’s funny when you think about it - we decide whether or not to put our tongue/mouth on someone’s bits based on what they look like…

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By *oxy j OP Woman
over a year ago

somerset

"It’s funny when you think about it - we decide whether or not to put our tongue/mouth on someone’s bits based on what they look like…

but we dont go with people for there bits ? we go with people because we like those people their bits are just a bonus..

theres no way i could go with someone just because of their bits ..swinging is about people not bits

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

I thought all women are picky. Am I wrong? Who is not picky? I might send my messages there

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"It’s funny when you think about it - we decide whether or not to put our tongue/mouth on someone’s bits based on what they look like…

but we dont go with people for there bits ? we go with people because we like those people their bits are just a bonus..

theres no way i could go with someone just because of their bits ..swinging is about people not bits

So if a chris hemsworth type of guy would chat you up, you wouldn't fuck him because he is only like a 55% fit characterwise?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m extremely picky and have no idea regarding any other type of mind set or approach … why would somebody just meet anyone who shows interest in them as imagine how many they potentially meet

I’d honestly rather meet nobody than just a somebody or to just be a somebody to them !!

Who doesn’t want to feel that connection with that exciting mutual attraction to feel a bit special and desired.

Yes ultimately we are all here for a similar thing but god are we all so very different how we go about it !!!

I’m here for the 0.1% and good luck to other 99.9% I wish you all the very best of luck and happiness.

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"I’m extremely picky and have no idea regarding any other type of mind set or approach … why would somebody just meet anyone who shows interest in them as imagine how many they potentially meet

I’d honestly rather meet nobody than just a somebody or to just be a somebody to them !!

Who doesn’t want to feel that connection with that exciting mutual attraction to feel a bit special and desired.

Yes ultimately we are all here for a similar thing but god are we all so very different how we go about it !!!

I’m here for the 0.1% and good luck to other 99.9% I wish you all the very best of luck and happiness. "

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By *emma200Woman
over a year ago

Warwickshire

Yes… I am picky.. I want to be attracted to whom I’m going to meet x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're not genuine swingers if they won't fuck whoever asks. Keys in a bowl, go fuck.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"They're not genuine swingers if they won't fuck whoever asks. Keys in a bowl, go fuck. "

Jeez you do rather take things to extreme, presumably for comic effect, but it does rather misrepresent. Attraction is a spectrum and there is a big difference between only fucking people to whom you are super attracted and the keys in a bowl/fuck anyone scenario. I would say most swingers are not at either extreme and somewhere along the spectrum. Thinks are not black and white.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh. Very.

This sentiment for me too. Except extending it to include friends as well as lovers. I have many amazing people I wish I had more time for. Any potential new playmate has a lot to compete with between them and my alone time. I'm fussy as hell and looking for nothing less than mutual inspiration.

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By *llie AssMan
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

Just to take a different angle, I am very picky about *myself*. As in, I'm very reluctant to meet unless I feel in form, mentally and physically. Down to the point that I don't like giving oral unless *I* am freshly shaved.

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

We don’t have a massive emphasis on looks, but we are mustard keen on personality, age is also important we prefer older couples and ladies. So probably yes we are picky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs is very picky, but we’ve been lucky to have some great meets off here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Verrrrrryyyy picky and I think we have a right to be

Miss S x

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