FabSwingers.com forum: Double standards on weight

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does anyone feel there is a double standard when it comes to weight on here? Like I’m not body shaming but it seems every single man has to be in shape to even get a reply but woman can just be in any shape they want and it doesn’t matter.

It’s so disheartening

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

How do you know how many replies in shape men are getting?

If men are attracted to various shoes, weights and sizes of women it's a good thing isn't it?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

That of course should say shapes not shoes

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"That of course should say shapes not shoes

They are attracted to shoes too according to some daft messages I get lol

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Hi op

It's not double standards just the same as those whom would prefer someone tall, above average, with hair, with a beard. To no hair at all

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By *Mids guyMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

I like shoes

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

Not a single guy but can imagine how hard it is in here for one but don't think there are any double standards on here at all tbh single guys just don't get much attention period it's down to ratios not body size as far as we can see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone feel there is a double standard when it comes to weight on here? Like I’m not body shaming but it seems every single man has to be in shape to even get a reply but woman can just be in any shape they want and it doesn’t matter.

It’s so disheartening "

How do you know this?

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
over a year ago

Ends

"That of course should say shapes not shoes

"
Fresh white trainers

or Birkenstocks

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By *abrielle43Woman
over a year ago

Kildare

"That of course should say shapes not shoes

Just spat my coffee out, lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I would say that if it's causing you distress you might need to step back for a bit. Maybe just observe, look around the forum, consider a club or social basically get a feel for how things work with swinging. It takes a very thick skin to continually put yourself out there and never see results.

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

thats not true op im in good shape makes no difference,, but then again i am 80

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"That of course should say shapes not shoes

Fresh white trainers

or Birkenstocks

Trainers probs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s so disheartening "

Being in shape is no guarantee mate trust me haha...

But yeah I get your point...it's seems like everyone who goes to the gym is on here

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By *he ass man 666Man
over a year ago

paradise city

Not in perfect gym body shape , but I hold my own and get a few messages, maybe rock hard abs would get more , but I ain’t got the time or patience to do that much work lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"thats not true op im in good shape makes no difference,, but then again i am 80"

No you just said you 'look 80'

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Not a single guy but can imagine how hard it is in here for one but don't think there are any double standards on here at all tbh single guys just don't get much attention period it's down to ratios not body size as far as we can see "

This ratio has not much to do with much as mentioned above like shoes the lady either likes them or not and women love shoes but is that man the correct show fitting

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

"thats not true op im in good shape makes no difference,, but then again i am 80

No you just said you 'look 80'

"
,, xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have physical preferences and not all women do. We all like different things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s so disheartening "

It's not double standards it's who someone's attracted to.

I'm guessing you are thinking that men like all sizes but women prefer a fitter guy. In reality women and men are the same, they all like all types.

Don't feel down about it

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

This ratio has not much to do with much as mentioned above like shoes the lady either likes them or not and women love shoes but is that man the correct show fitting

"
see what your saying and totally get it

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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

From what we’ve observed in verifications for guys you don’t see very many bigger bodied guys with many veris whereas the guys with many verifications seem likely to be in semi decent shape. Not a hard and fast rule and there are exceptions.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I've met more larger men through here than skinny men, and the only Adonis bodies men I've met were elsewhere entirely.

Don't blame your weight for a lack of meets

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By *urvyFan!Man
over a year ago

Bury

I’m fat and get replies!

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

Realistically, and we’ll get a hard time for this, if a woman wants a meet she can probably get one regardless of body shape. They just have to choose whether they are open to meeting anyone and not be too choosy. "
guess it's a case of women can afford to be choosy for want of a better description but we know plenty of women who prefer a bigger guy myself included xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've met more larger men through here than skinny men, and the only Adonis bodies men I've met were elsewhere entirely.

Don't blame your weight for a lack of meets

Perhaps you could meet the OP then

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"I've met more larger men through here than skinny men, and the only Adonis bodies men I've met were elsewhere entirely.

Don't blame your weight for a lack of meets

Perhaps you could meet the OP then

Why would I do that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've met more larger men through here than skinny men, and the only Adonis bodies men I've met were elsewhere entirely.

Don't blame your weight for a lack of meets

Perhaps you could meet the OP then

That's an odd request, I'm sure they don't meet men because their big,it's more than that surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That of course should say shapes not shoes

Why it could mean they have a shoe fetish ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've met more larger men through here than skinny men, and the only Adonis bodies men I've met were elsewhere entirely.

Don't blame your weight for a lack of meets

Perhaps you could meet the OP then

Why would I do that?"

Well if he asked you out would you find him attractive?

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

What a crock of shite...

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"I've met more larger men through here than skinny men, and the only Adonis bodies men I've met were elsewhere entirely.

Don't blame your weight for a lack of meets

Perhaps you could meet the OP then

Why would I do that?

Well if he asked you out would you find him attractive?"

Based on the information available, probably not. But it's fuck all to do with not being a gym bunny.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

It’s so disheartening "

Based on your profile you're fairly average physically.

This place can be hard going, especially for single guys.

I would give Fab a break and if and when you decide to come back, do so with no expectations and a positive attitude.

Nita

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
over a year ago

Ends

"I don't have physical preferences and not all women do. We all like different things. "

There’s hope

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
over a year ago

Ends

"That of course should say shapes not shoes

Fresh white trainers

or Birkenstocks

Trainers probs.

Wear them to our coffee date!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This isn’t the definition of a double standard.

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Body shape isn’t relevant to me personally.

Even if it was…we all like what we like it’s not double standards at all.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Yet again someone making up bullshite excuses for why they aren't having luck on here. Rather than actually using their head and thinking why they themselves might be having no luck. So much easier I suppose to point the fingers at others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let us non gym going enjoy fucking strangers in peace. Rude.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

To me, this sounds like your slating other men not the women ha.

Women have the double standards and only want “hot type” men.

Men will fuck “any” women….

Neither are true of course but putting other people down probably isn’t going to help your case.

Moany forum posts/ status’ are a straight delete for me!

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

With something like 1000 men to every woman, they clearly have the pick.

Plenty of men turn down larger women however.

If it was 1000 women to every man, do you think you'd be a bit picky?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That of course should say shapes not shoes

Tbf I do have an obsession with shoes

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By *inkyguyUKMan
over a year ago

worcester

I don't know. But I don't mind if a ssbbw wants a slim man does not make it double standards it's what they want. I fancy goth girls but I am not a goth I like bbw and ssbbw a long with other body types doesn't mean I have double standards lol but people have tastes

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By *evilandTheBeastCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough and Bedford

OP, it's not about double standards, in my opinion, but about supply and demand. There are much fewer women on here than men and, therefore, women can be more picky, as they would get attention regardless (not necessarily attention from who they want to get attention from). Men, on the other hand, are oversupplied, way too many of them here therefore they have to compete with one another for the attention. Some make an effort, try to stand out from the crowd in the ways that suit them. Other men prefer to blame their lack of success on issues they cannot control instead of working on things they can control.

I'll tell you a secret, OP- whereas there are some women on here who based their choices of men on cock size/looks, most do prefer some personality. Also, confidence is sexy- if you don't like your body and you believe it hinders your chances on here, why should we find your body attractive?

Try putting some personality into your profile, also try getting out and about in the real world or engaging in forum/chats and see how that works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/11/23 17:55:49]

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
over a year ago

There and Here

I'm a fat woman who has a preference for tall, toned men. I'm not bothered if someone sees it as a double standard. It's no business of anyone's except me and the person I'm meeting. However I can guarantee that not every "in-shape" guy that messages me is replied to because it's only one element of the whole attraction thing.

If an in-shape guy has a preference for fat women, is that also a double standard? Or is it only a double standard for fat women because they're not worthy of a fit guy?

Since when are people only allowed to like a mirror image of themselves? Did I miss that law being introduced?

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By *hromosexualsCouple
over a year ago

Near Abercynon

Your weight is probably a lot more of an issue to you than it is to other people.

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

Is it Double Standards, or just personal preference and a higher number of guys on the site?

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

It’s so disheartening "

Don't think size is the issue it's being male, far to many - need a cull, just not me obvs

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

It’s so disheartening "

How do you know what messages everyone else is getting?

I know a lot of men on here who do rather well and are not as you said "in shape".

I think you'll find there is a lot more to getting a reply or a meet on here than how you look and what shape you are.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

men have choices they choose not to and rather think of just fanny n tits and empty balls ...

i like who i like anything outside my preference wont get a lookin just imagine if all men did that then there would be a few women getting nothing but the fact remains most men will screw anything where most women wont

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By *iredhandMan
over a year ago

Manchester

It has already been said but women tend to be more discerning when it comes to who to make the beast with two backs with. With the guys far outnumbering the women on fab, they do have the advantage. However, you do see ladies looking for the bigger gent, and I don’t mean cock size. As with most things in life it’s horses for courses (again I don’t mean cock size).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It isn't a double standard because every person is entitled to decide who they sleep with and why.

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By *tephanie63Woman
over a year ago

BRIDGWATER

I am not into slim/skinny men at all. I only like fatter men x

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Why do alot of these comments talk like fat women can't just have a preference for a particular type of man, like they wouldn't have the same preference if there were less men etc... I am a fat woman... For me, attraction is based on facial attraction, then personality... not body type. But those that don't have a "good" body always assume it's body type that is what is stopping them meeting and not basic attraction or even personality... Or that us fatties can't have some sort of preference that doesn't include them... How dare we?! This also includes alot of short/bald/hairy/older/younger/black/white/asian/bi/straight/buff/slim/fat/skinny/small cock/average cock/hung guys also (did I miss anyone?) ... And just wondering... Why are you messaging women you think you are too good for... You wouldn't whine if she was a slim, young, "beautiful" babe that you thought was out of your league, eh? You would just take it on the chin n move on... Get over yourself!

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Oh... And it's not a double standard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s so disheartening "

If you believe that not being in shape is causing you to miss out its within your control to change it..

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not true!

All I know is double standards exist on & off Fab it’s just a part of our life’s. No it’s not fair & we might feel like protesting sometimes but honestly no1 is listening & most double standards ain’t gonna change

All you can do is carry on doing your best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some interesting responses on here I personally think this one is closest to the truth. Purely supply and demand. It’s hard work on FAB as a single guy no two ways about it!

"OP, it's not about double standards, in my opinion, but about supply and demand. There are much fewer women on here than men and, therefore, women can be more picky, as they would get attention regardless (not necessarily attention from who they want to get attention from). Men, on the other hand, are oversupplied, way too many of them here therefore they have to compete with one another for the attention. Some make an effort, try to stand out from the crowd in the ways that suit them. Other men prefer to blame their lack of success on issues they cannot control instead of working on things they can control.

Try putting some personality into your profile, also try getting out and about in the real world or engaging in forum/chats and see how that works. "

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By *he_TicklersCouple
over a year ago

Havant & Aberdare

We’ve put on a bit of timber since the contentness of marriage as kicked in, we’ve stepped back from playing until we’re comfortable in a pile of bodies naked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have physical preferences and not all women do. We all like different things.

There’s hope

Always hope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It isn't a double standard because every person is entitled to decide who they sleep with and why.

So I've been fucking everyone that messages me when I didn't have to? What the fuck.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"It isn't a double standard because every person is entitled to decide who they sleep with and why.

So I've been fucking everyone that messages me when I didn't have to? What the fuck."

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It isn't a double standard because every person is entitled to decide who they sleep with and why.

So I've been fucking everyone that messages me when I didn't have to? What the fuck."

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

"It isn't a double standard because every person is entitled to decide who they sleep with and why.

So I've been fucking everyone that messages me when I didn't have to? What the fuck."

Pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It isn't a double standard because every person is entitled to decide who they sleep with and why.

So I've been fucking everyone that messages me when I didn't have to? What the fuck."

So have I, some how I missed that in the FAQ

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

It’s so disheartening "
well that’s not the woman’s fault !

Most women & men have a certain attraction to what they like,fat,thin,curvy,tall short or whatever else so there is no way you can call that double standards .

Oh and for the record my own preference is for someone who I’m attracted to and that could be anything from dad body to gym fit

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By *ony MannMan
over a year ago

Las Gaviotos, Fuerteventura

The fact is there are more men than women therefore women get to choose.

It's up to men to be special

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

me and my lady met on this site over 2 years ago. im not gym fit, probably more "dad bod".

while there has to be some form of attraction, what made my lady respond was i made her smile and laugh, be positive, be a little cheeky but not rude. its not all about physical.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Is there a double standard? Are women demanding we are in good shapes? Or with all due respect are you barking up the wrong tree/scapegoating the reason for a lack of success?

I'm not in shape (broad lover of pies and ales) yet I had relatively good success here as single guy (granted its not easy for any guy). Over years of experience we've noticed the guys who do well on here and in clubs are the guys who have great personal qualities. That looks (which isn't just about how fit your body is) are an advantage (naturally) but only get you so far. Often a lot of the guys we've seen who are regularly successful are pretty average guys fitness/looks wise. It seems so many men fixate of body and/or penis size rather than looking to their character and nature for success.

I don't see a double standard as such. Maybe a difference in what men and women prioritise when looking for someone. Who are the women with a double standard? I see very few womens profiles where they state must look in great shape. Granted some exist as do some male profiles insisting on a woman being in shape which is perfectly fine BTW to state what you are into and have preferences. Do you have a issue with people seeking to be with others you don't deem they're physically worthy of? Would you like some kind of caste system on here? I don't see a double standard but I do see a case of sour grapes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a double standard? Are women demanding we are in good shapes? Or with all due respect are you barking up the wrong tree/scapegoating the reason for a lack of success?

I actually really like this response. Fab pics and profile too.

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

It’s so disheartening "

Honestly, it seems to me, based on all the posts and comments on the forum that men are the ones with double standards.

However, the simple solution is, if a profile states they want something you are not, don't message them.

Not everyone is going to like everyone.

Thats just life

MrsAbz

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